Ash was already refilling his glass. I watched the liquid pour. “You have a concert tonight.”
“So?” Ice-blue eyes leveled me.
I shrugged. “Just saying, might want to take it easy. Not the smartest move to show up blitzed to your own show.”
“That so?” His tongue moved behind his cheek. “Tell me what else you think I’m doing wrong. And make sure to use real small words, since I’m not so smart and all.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
He snorted. “Wasn’t a big drinker until I met you.”
I searched for my calm, happy place. Couldn’t find it. I narrowed my eyes. “Are you implying I drove you to drink?”
“There you go with those big words again.” He took a drink of wine, this time straight from the bottle. “Not implying, saying it. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve left a whole trail of men behind. We could have our own AA support group.”
What a dick thing to say. “How dare you?”
“Just calling it like I see it, sweetheart.” His endearment suddenly sounded like anything but. Ash was harboring some serious resentment. Which was totally unfair. I’d been the one scorned. I was the victim here, not him. Not only that, but he was totally deflecting.
I closed my hand around the stem of my wine glass, ready to launch it into Ash’s face. I spoke through gritted teeth. “You’re such a—”
The waiter arrived carrying a large platter. He sat it between the two of us in the center of the table. Our argument was abandoned. It was our way. We fought, forgot, then did it all over again. Usually we had sex somewhere in between.
“What the fuck?” Asher’s mood took another nosedive.
The plate was artfully arranged. Small bites of food were presented at equal distances: a dollop of mustard, a single blueberry, a one-inch square of medium-rare steak, three green leaves, and something that looked a lot like… a granola bar.
“Is that—”
“Yep,” I said. “It is.” An antler garnished the edge of the plate.
“Where’s the rest of it?” Ash asked. I had the same question.
“Today’s dining experience will take you through four chapters. I give you our foreword, ‘childhood.’” The waiter smirked. I nodded. “Please enjoy.” The waiter left.
I frowned. “I don’t even know if I’m supposed to use a fork or my hands or what.” I loved food, all sorts, but this was a little pretentious even for me.
Ash popped the piece of meat into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed. “Do what you feel, sweetheart.” He smiled at me darkly. Ash was always so unapologetically himself. Selecting a small fork, I dove in.
We finished the small bites in a few minutes. My stomach was nowhere near full.
“What’s the name of the next course?” Ash asked.
I perused the menu, then peered at him over the stiff piece of paper. “Sea.”
“So fish?”
I shook my head. “Razor clams and scallops.”
“Thank fuck, some real food.” Ash topped off his wine. My lips stayed zipped. As far as I was concerned, the man could drink himself into an early grave. He could blame me all he wanted. That wasn’t true. My worry increased with every sip.
“Why, isn’t this a coincidence?” Lix stepped into my line of sight. “Lily and Asher, what a surprise.”
Derren sauntered up. He gave his trademarked jutting of the chin.
“Lily, you look stunning,” Lix said.
Ash leaned back in his chair, splayed his legs. “What are you doing here, Felix?”
“Me and D were just out for a little stroll, and we happened to see you two through the window.” This was in no way plausible. Ash and I had a whole security team for our outing. Derren and Lix would need the same. Every move the band made was carefully scheduled, the venue totally vetted.
“Sure you were,” Ash said.
“Tell him D.” Lix nudged Derren.
“You literally said, ‘Ash and Lily are out to lunch, let’s go fuck with them.’” Derren patted his stomach. “You promised me there’d be food.”
“Well guess I’m found out. Now that we’re all here though we might as well eat together.”
Asher gave Lix and Derren a look as they noisily pulled up a couple seats. It was not a happy one. Lix picked up the menu. He whistled low. “This certainly is a fine-dining experience. Much too fancy for Ashy here. Lily, you sure you’re picking the right bandmate? I could take you places you could never imagine, show you the world.”
“Isn’t that a quote from a Disney movie?” Derren asked.
“Lily loves Disney movies,” Lix said.
“Lily hates Disney movies,” Ash said. “They reinforce gender norms.”
“Lily is sitting right here,” I said.
Lix frowned. “That’s right. You told me you hated Beauty and the Beast. Totally forgot. Won’t happen again.”
I stared at Ash. “You remember?” On one of my many tangents, I’d gone off about Disney and feminism, spent a whole twenty minutes giving Ash a dissertation while he nibbled on my neck. I didn’t think he was paying attention.
“Of course. I remember everything you’ve ever told me. If someone put a gun to your head and made you choose a Disney flick, it’d be The Little Mermaid because she’s a fully realized female character with rebellious thoughts and daring, independent acts. Although the fact that she loses her voice is problematic,” Ash said. I gaped at him. “It’s not a big deal,” he said. It kind of was.
My insides warmed.
“Well, shit. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to compete with that. Listening to women. What is the world turning into? I’m going to go ahead and step aside. It’s clear you and Lily have something special,” Lix said.
Derren grinned and slid his cell onto the table. So they were definitely staying. The waiter hurried over and began his spiel about the food. A crowd had begun to gather beyond the windows. Our security team, huge men in black outfits, fanned out to close the blinds, then moved to block our table from the rest of the restaurant.
Lix cut him off. “No need, man. I’ve been to restaurants like this before. We’ll take double the experience.”
“Double?” The waiter arched a brow.
“Twice the amount of food.” Lix reconsidered. “Actually, better make it four times. We’ve got a show tonight. I don’t want to disappoint the ladies. You know what I mean?” He paused for the waiter to answer. The waiter’s mouth opened and closed. Lix merely smiled. “We’ll take a couple beers. The cheapest brew you got. We’re simple folk here. Plus, I’ve lost most of my money on the ponies. That’s why we’re touring so hard right now.”
The waiter shooed off.
“That’s going to be in the papers tomorrow,” Derren said.
“God, I hope so. I can picture the headline now. ‘Felix Hernandez’s mystery girl ditches him over gambling addiction, finds new love with bandmate and all-around asshole Asher Price.’”
“How was the Tate?” Derren asked, directing the question at me since Lix and Ash were in some sort of macho staring match.
I beamed. “It was really wonderful.” I launched into a full explanation of the exhibits.
“You and Ash went together?” Derren asked.
“Yeah,” I said happily. Ash hadn’t said much during the tour or after, but he’d been a great companion.
“Huh,” Derren said.
“I told you. Ash has got it bad. You owe me five hundred bucks,” Lix said.
Derren fished out his wallet and counted out five crisp one hundred dollar bills, an amount that exceeded my current net worth. “Thought you guys were just fucking.”
“Nope, D. You’re witnessing true love here,” Lix said.
I stared at the tablecloth.
“Huh,” Derren said again. I took a healthy drink of water. “So this is really a date?” he asked. Man, he was dense.
“No,” Ash said.
At the same time, I said, “Yes.�
�
Our eyes locked across the table.
“Wow, this just got awkward. You know what, D? I think we better make ourselves scarce,” Lix said. The pair shuffled out of their seats.
“Yes. Please leave,” said Ash.
Lix paused midexit. “I’d stay, but I’m suddenly in the mood for Thai food. Lily, I’ll see you at the show. I’ll be the one surrounded by ladies.”
And as quickly as they’d come, the two bandmates were gone.
Ash gave me a heated look. “We on a date, Lil?”
I blew out a breath. “I kind of thought… I’ve never done this before.” My hands opened and closed uselessly.
“Been to a museum and let some douche lead you on a magical food journey?” he asked, being deliberately obtuse.
Great. He wanted me to spell it out for him. “No. Been on a date. With you.”
His face creased up, confused. “Sure we have.”
“We haven’t.” We spent a ton of time together in. Three months, we shacked up. And yet, we’d never shared a meal, just the two of us.
He cocked his head and studied me, pinning me with his eyes. “That what you want?”
“I don’t know.” My shoulders slumped. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
The rest of our lunch had been spent in stilted conversation. We’d arrived back at the hotel and rode the elevator up to the band’s floor, occupying separate corners. The elevator doors opened and I walked out. Ash followed, and I could feel his gaze on my back—a predator stalking his prey. At my suite door, I paused, back turned toward Ash. “Have a good—”
He spun me around, crowding me until I was against the wall, pinned by his big body. The spark I always felt around Ash flared to life, threatening to consume me. And as always, my brain fully disengaged. Common sense no longer computed.
Asher’s kiss was hard and powerful, dominating. His hand closed around the nape of my neck, holding me steady. Liquid heat pooled at the apex of my thighs. My hands crept up to his shoulders. His arm snaked around my waist, crushing me against him. I felt his hardness.
I broke the kiss, “Let’s go—”
“We should stop,” Ash interrupted me, his breathing harsh.
My desire came to a screeching stop. Huh? Had I heard correctly? Stop? No. More like keep going.
He stepped away from me. His hands trembled, and his fingers flexed in and out. Glad to know he wasn’t as unaffected as he seemed. I kind of just slumped against the wall, confused and still turned on—not a great combination. The worst, actually.
Was I being rejected? I tried to remember a time when that had happened before. I came up with nothing. This was new, novel, and I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it. Perhaps Ash just needed a touch more encouragement. I straightened and moved toward him, putting on my most seductive smile. Raising a hand, I pressed it against his chest. He kind of flinched. Afraid of me? Or what I could do? I decided to find out. I slid my palm over so that it rested right above his heart. It beat double time. A definite tell. Ash wasn’t immune to me. So why was he pretending? Slowly, I let my hand drift down toward the front of his pants, where I could see his hardness outlined. I gave it a squeeze. “Invite me in, Ash.”
He groaned, his hands hovered over my hips then dropped. “We are not fucking tonight,” Ash said.
I snorted, bit back a laugh.
Ash swallowed. “I mean it.”
I pulled back, caught his gaze. “You’re serious.”
He gave me a long look. “Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart. There’s nothing more that I’d like to do than go into that room and bend you over the couch.”
“Sounds good to me.”
He shook his head like he was disappointed in me. That novel feeling returned. I was in unfamiliar territory. “No sex,” he said.
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” My mind reeled. Was this some kinky game he was trying to play? Hard to get or some shit? “You’re serious,” I said again.
He frowned. “I just said I was.”
I blew out a breath. “What’s going on Ash?”
“We’ve never been on a date. You said so yourself.”
“Yeah so?”
“Well, that’s what we’re going to do. Starting now, we’re dating.”
“Okay.” I said carefully. He seemed appeased by my easy agreement. “But you do know people who date have sex right?”
“I just said no sex,” he grouched.
“Hmm.” I searched his face for some sign of what he might be feeling, what was going on in his head. But he just stared at me, brows tight and eyes narrowed. “What will we do?”
“I don’t know,” he said, cranky as ever. “Hold hands, watch the sunset. Couple shit.”
Goddammit, my heart and my soul, both sighed happily. “I don’t like holding hands, my palms get sweaty.”
“That’s not the point. The point is to prove to you that I’m not some fuckbot.”
Oh. “I don’t see you as some fuckbot.” There, problem solved. Now we could go back to having sex.
“Good to know, sweetheart. And you should know, I don’t see you that way either.”
My lips curled up of their own accord at the absolute conviction in his voice. His opinion mattered far too much. I deflected with false confidence. “Of course you don’t. I’m the whole package.”
His lips pressed together. “Sweetheart.” His voice was doubtful. He could see through my bullshit. And so could I. The problem with a cloak of invisibility is it doesn’t hide you from yourself. Ever so gently, he cupped my jaw, running the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip. “I’ve told you plenty of times how beautiful you are. But I don’t think I’ve ever told you how smart you are, how brave, how extraordinary. That’s my fault and I’m sorry. But I’m going to make it up to you.” He blinked. “Lily Phillips-Thomas, I’m going to date the shit out of you.”
Now
Being in sex jail sucked.
All in all, there were twenty-one stops on the tour. The band played two shows in London. So we enjoyed a couple days in the UK, but the fun ended there. Every other night was a new city, a new venue. We boarded and deboarded private planes, going to sleep in one country and waking up in another. The traveling took a toll on Addy. Her blood pressure still hadn’t dropped. Little lines of worry began to strain Kelly’s eyes. His worry begot my worry. She slept a lot. This, plus all the press required of the band kept Ash and me from seeing much of each other.
We’d attempted a date in Paris. Nothing big, just dinner at a cozy café. But our outing got leaked. Screaming and fainting fans swarmed the street. So many that we had to turn back. While the band was interviewed for Italy’s equivalent to Rolling Stone, I made excellent work of a pistachio gelato, licking the spoon well after the sweet treat was gone. Ash interrupted the interview, shoved me in a restroom. He had his hands down my pants when their manager came knocking. Oh, well. In Spain, I’d tried surprising him with a private cooking lesson that ended in flames. Literal flames. The hotel had to be evacuated. Fate kept intervening our attempts to date. But we did manage to text.
Ash: How’s Addy feeling?
Lily: So-so. Warren suggested she go home.
Ash: I know. He said it went over like a lead balloon.
Lily: I had to hold the woman back. Pregnant ladies are seriously strong. It was glorious to witness.
Lily: You up?
Ash: It’s late.
Lily: Can’t sleep.
Ash: Me either. Major jet lag.
Lily: Tell me something that will make me wet.
Ash: Go outside. It’s raining.
Lily: Try again.
Ash: Don’t use an umbrella.
Lily: I hate dating you.
Lily: Come to my room later.
Ash: What’d you have in mind?
Lily: It involves screaming, covers, and pillows.
Ash: OMG! We’re going to build a fort and pretend to be pirates under attack?!
; Lily: Lix?
Ash: Sorry. He got a hold of my phone.
Lily: Asher! I can’t accept this.
Ash: You got my gift.
Lily: It’s an authentic Rodin bronze.
Ash: I know. I bought it.
Lily: This must be worth half a million dollars.
Ash: You don’t like it?
Lily: I didn’t say that. How’d you even find it?
Ash: Derren. But the thought was all mine.
Lily: It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m never letting it out of my sight. I’m going to need a security guard for my apartment.
Ash: Thought you weren’t going to keep it.
Lily: I should make you take it back.
Ash: Should?
Lily: But nobody will love it as much as me.
Ash: Probably not. Probably end up with some creepy dude who polishes it way too much.
Lily: You’re right. It would be irresponsible of me to return it. I better keep it. It’s the right thing to do.
Ash: You’re one levelheaded, sexy woman.
Lily: Addy’s still not feeling good. I’m not going to make it to the show tonight.
Ash: Fuck this. She’s got nurses, doctors, and Kelly, can’t one of them take care of her?
Lily: I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say something so insensitive. We’re done talking.
Ash: Sorry.
Ash: C’mon, Lil. Accept my fucking apology.
Lily: I can’t believe you called Addy.
Ash: You wouldn’t talk to me. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Lily: She said you apologized for being insensitive, then asked if she was maintaining good posture while standing.
Ash: I read some shit about the third trimester. Hormones soften ligaments. That’s what causes backaches.
Lily: Wow. I thought pregnancy stuff freaked you out.
Ash: It does. But you’re into it. And I’m into what you’re into.
Bad Rules_Wild Minds Novel Page 15
