Hilde nodded and joined him on the couch. “What’s your plan?”
“How do you know I have a plan?”
She grinned. “You were out walking and thinking. When this happens, you always come back with a plan.”
He put his arm around her shoulders and chuckled. “You know me too well, Liebling. I decided to take Harro Schulze-Boysen’s advice and start looking for work inside the government. The best way to gain intelligence about the regime is to be intimately connected to the regime.”
Hilde frowned, and he tried to put her mind at ease. “I will be careful, but this is something I need to do. It’s something I can do.”
***
Several days later, Hilde received a letter from Zurich, Switzerland. She turned it in her hand to decipher the sender. Adam Eppstein. It took her a few moments to remember who that was. Her former boss and head of treasury at the insurance company. He’d been fired back in 1933 for being Jewish, and she hadn’t heard from him since that day.
Esteemed Frau Quedlin,
I have to apologize for not writing earlier when we received notice of your matrimony. My wife and I have cut all ties to our former home country, but when we heard about the latest developments in Germany, I wanted to reach out to thank you.
I will never forget the day I was fired, and you were there for me, helping me to pack my things and giving me advice I didn’t want to hear. You told me to take my family someplace else. Someplace safe.
It took me about one year to realize you were right. As much as I loved my home country, it had changed to the point where I couldn’t raise my children there anymore.
In 1935, I finally found the courage to apply for a job in Switzerland. And after several months, the Zurich Kantonalbank offered me a position in their treasury department. My wife and I had difficulties adapting to the peculiar dialect they speak here, but our children now speak it like natives.
Leaving Germany has not been without its hardships. But every day we are thankful that we’re here. The Swiss have been very good to us, and we have found many good friends.
The letter paused, the ink dripping as if Adam Eppstein had become lost in his thoughts for a moment. As the letter continued, the handwriting was shaky, and Hilde had difficulties deciphering the next sentences.
When we heard about the Kristallnacht, my wife had a nervous breakdown, so worried about her relatives, and mine, still living in Germany.
It took some time, but we eventually discovered that most of our male relatives were sent to labor camps.
My heart is torn as I write this letter. My family and I will always have you in our hearts and prayers. You truly were our guardian angel, and I believe without your assistance my life would have been forfeit many years ago.
I know things in Germany are getting worse, and I urge you to take all precautions and not to draw attention to yourself.
I hope someday in the future, we may meet again and I can thank you in person.
Your grateful friend,
Adam Eppstein
Hilde folded the letter carefully, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her hands were shaking violently. Her stomach rebelled as fear and emotion surged through her. She tossed the letter to the small table sitting near the couch and placed her hand over her mouth, fighting the urge to vomit. But a few moments later, she kneeled over the toilet and emptied the contents of her stomach.
She rinsed her mouth out afterwards and wiped her pale face down with a damp rag, then made her way to the bedroom on wobbly legs where she sank down on the edge of the mattress.
Chapter 17
Over the next few weeks, Hilde continued to get sick. Not wanting to worry Q, she managed to keep most of her sickness from him and was convinced that stress and anxiety were the cause of her sporadic illness.
Some mornings she would wake and throw up before she could even dress for the day. Other times, she’d feel fine, until her stomach suddenly rebelled at the smell of food.
That pattern continued until the end of June, where she vomited every single morning and then worsened. When she’d felt sick all day long, every day for five consecutive days, she made an appointment with the doctor for that afternoon.
Several hours later, she left the doctor’s office, conflicting emotions raging through her body. At home she impatiently waited for Q, waiting to share the news.
“I had an appointment this afternoon,” Hilde assailed him as soon as he opened the door.
“A new client?” Q asked.
“No…the meeting wasn’t at work. I actually didn’t go to work today.”
Q looked up at her then. “You didn’t go to work? Are you sick?”
Hilde shook her head, hiding the smile that wanted to break across her face. “I haven’t been feeling well lately, and it seemed to get significantly worse this morning.” She held up a hand when Q started to speak. “I’m okay. I went to the doctor. That was the appointment I spoke of.”
“What was his diagnosis?” Q searched her eyes, and Hilde found she couldn’t continue this small word game a moment longer.
She cupped his jaw. “His diagnosis…in six months, you’re going to be a father.” She watched his eyes go from concern to disbelief. He looked down at her still flat stomach, placing a hand there reverently as the reality of her words took shape in his mind.
“A baby? You’re pregnant?” he asked in a hushed voice.
Hilde nodded. “I know the timing is bad–”
“Never! I’m going to be a father!” Q exclaimed, pulling her to her feet and dancing her around the living room. “This is the happiest news ever!”
Hilde laughed and giggled as he swung her around and then kissed her soundly.
“Stop!” she shouted, and as soon as he set her down on her feet she dashed to the bathroom.
Q came after her and held a washcloth for her. “I’m sorry. What did the doctor say about the way you’ve been feeling?”
Hilde cleaned herself and answered. “Morning sickness. The doctor said it may go away, but every pregnancy is different.”
Several weeks later, the all-day sickness had receded to a mild morning sickness. Hilde was still able to work, but by the time she returned home each afternoon, she was exhausted and needed a nap.
After lengthy discussions, Q had convinced her not to travel to Italy, but to stay home for the summer. She was okay with that but needed some sort of break in her normal routine.
Q must have noticed her discontent. “Hilde, what if we invited your sisters to spend some time with us here during summer vacation?”
“I guess we could,” Hilde said.
“You always have so much fun when you girls get together. Why don’t you invite them to the city? You can take your vacation time and relax a bit.”
Hilde smiled tiredly. “That’s a good idea. Maybe if I could relax for a bit, this sickness would get better.” She slipped down in the covers, then added, “But I don’t want them to know I’m pregnant. We haven’t told any of our family yet.”
“That decision is up to you.” Q kissed her on the nose and then wrapped his arm around her.
Hilde nodded, and the next morning called her parents to invite her sisters. Julia, unfortunately, couldn’t visit because she’d been sent to a farm in Mecklenburg with the Reichsarbeitsdienst, a compulsory labor service for high school graduates. But Sophie was overjoyed with the invitation, and they made arrangements for her to travel as soon as the school year ended.
At work, Hilde informed her boss that she wanted to take her vacation time as planned after all, and he wished her a relaxing time off. Q helped her ready their apartment for her sister’s arrival. When the day arrived, she met Sophie at the train station.
“You’re here,” Hilde said, hugging her sister tight for a long moment.
“I’m so excited! Thank you for inviting me. I was bored at home. Julia is gone, and Father says I’m too young to join the Bund Deutscher Mädel. Julia is only four years older than me
.” Sophie’s eyes glinted.
Hilde smiled and looped her arm with her sister’s. “Is that your only piece of luggage?” she asked, referring to the small suitcase her sister carried.
“Yes. I’m ready to go have some fun. And do some shopping.”
Hilde smiled. “Lunch and then shopping.” The two girls had a quick lunch of soup and a sandwich at a small restaurant. After lunch, they wandered through the shops and then made plans to visit a few museums and art galleries.
Over the next days, Hilde and Sophie moved about Berlin, shared laughter, and did all the fun things teenagers would do. Q had to work, but he joined them in the evenings and on weekends. It was almost as carefree as before Hitler came to power.
More than once, he told Hilde that he was so relieved to have Sophie around to take care of her. And just like that, her morning sickness abated. One day it stopped, and Hilde hadn’t even noticed.
On Hilde’s twenty-seventh birthday on August 23, Q surprised his two women with tickets to visit the open air musical Der Mond by Carl Orff. It was an opera-like production, based on the fairy tale The Moon by The Brothers Grimm.
After the last applause ebbed away, the three of them gathered their things to walk to Q’s car.
Hilde looped her arm into her husband’s and swooned over the beautiful music and the opulent stage designs. “Thank you, my love. This was such a wonderful birthday present.”
Q couldn’t answer because someone called out his name. “Wilhelm Quedlin!”
They stopped to see a man in a dark suit walking toward them. Hilde raised a brow at her husband, but he didn’t seem in the least worried. Instead, he waved a greeting. “Erhard Tohmfor, I haven’t seen you since we left the University.”
“Yes, Q. Good to see you. How have you been?”
“I’ve been fine. Erhard, may I introduce you to my wife, Hilde, and her sister, Sophie.”
“Ladies, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Erhard Tohmfor kissed the hand of both women and explained, “Q and I go all the way back to first-semester chemistry.”
“It’s true,” Q said, “but somehow we lost contact when we started our doctorates in different departments.”
“I would love to catch up, but I don’t want to take any more time from your evening out. Why don’t we go to lunch one day next week?” Erhard suggested.
“Sounds fine with me. How about Monday at noon?” Q mentioned a restaurant near the shopping mall Kaufhaus des Westens, and Erhard smiled and promised to meet him there at noon. He bid his goodbyes and Q escorted the two women home.
Chapter 18
Monday arrived, and Q entered the restaurant to meet Erhard. The place offered a choice of three lunch specials and was crowded with people taking advantage of the offer. Q chose a goulash with boiled potatoes, Erhard ordered Kassler with sauerkraut. When the waitress delivered their meals, each one paid their share and Q inhaled deeply. “That smells delicious, doesn’t it?”
Erhard already had his fork lifted, ready to dig in. “Yes. I bet it tastes even better. I’m hungry as a wolf.”
“So, tell me what you’re doing for work?” Q asked Erhard after taking a hearty bite.
Erhard chewed and swallowed a piece of Kassler, groaning in pleasure at the taste of the smoked pork chop before answering, “I’m working for Loewe Radio.”
Q raised a brow. Loewe Radio produced all kinds of advanced radio equipment for the military, but they were also the manufacturer of the Volksempfänger, a small and affordable radio designed for everyone’s use. He grinned at the memory of how he’d bought one of the first ones several years ago and enhanced it to receive short waves. The good old Volksempfänger still served him well, including listening to strictly forbidden foreign radio stations.
“Wow. You sure work for an interesting company.”
“Yes. It’s wonderful. I started there in 1934 and was just recently promoted to the manager of the chemical laboratory. We have the most advanced technology at our fingertips and enough money for research.” Erhard beamed and went on to talk about their research in the field of radio engineering. “We’re currently working to bring movies into the homes of the people with our Einheits-Fernseh-Empfänger E1.”
Q had heard about the E1, which was similar to the Volksempfänger radio, but with images. This modern device was also called television, and up until now, it had been prohibitively expensive for normal people.
“Congratulations,” Q said. “Sounds like you enjoy your job.” Unlike me. Apparently, Erhard didn’t have to bother about budget cuts and diversion of research to military purposes.
“Yes, I do. There’s so much going on right now. The E1 is for everyone, but apart from that, we’re working on cutting-edge technology. Wireless transmission. Remote controls. Position tracking via sound waves. It’s a scientist’s paradise.” Erhard gestured with his hands and Q was transported back to their university days.
They’d shared the same communist ideals and dreams for the future. While the scientist part of his brain understood Erhard’s enthusiasm for the new technology, the humanist part felt betrayed. “You’ve changed,” Q said.
Erhard lifted an eyebrow. “How so?”
“You’re working for the regime. That’s a betrayal of what you used to believe in. Peace. Equality. Freedom. Everything your company does is geared towards war, even the E1!” Q had raised his voice and pushed his empty plate away.
Erhard gave him a sharp look and then looked around the restaurant. “Not here. Wait a few minutes and then follow me.”
Q’s jaw dropped when Erhard rose from the table and wandered down the hallway leading towards the kitchen. Curious, he waited the prescribed minutes before following the man he’d shared so many things in common with years earlier.
Erhard was waiting for him and pulled him out a rear door, into the alleyway behind the restaurant. He looked around. They were alone. “Are you still a Gesinnungsfreund?”
Q gave his friend a searching look. “Are you asking if I still share the same opinions as I did when we were in University?” When Erhard nodded, Q said. “Yes. My opinions haven’t changed.”
“Well, neither have mine.” Erhard paused and then explained softly, “I thoroughly enjoyed the research work I’m able to do at Loewe. But when the company was Arianized last year, and the owners had to emigrate to America, I wanted to quit.”
“So why didn’t you?” Q asked, pressing his lips together.
“Because I was offered the position to oversee the entire chemical laboratories and the production process.”
Q squinted his eyes and Erhard held up a hand. “Now, before you judge me, listen carefully. I took this position because it gives me the opportunity to work against the government by sabotaging the production of military equipment.”
“What?” Q’s brain needed a few moments to process Erhard’s words. The man standing in front of him was doing the very thing Schulze-Boysen had suggested. Corrupting the regime from within.
Both men stood in silence until Q found his voice again. “I’m sorry I misjudged you, my friend.”
“No harm done,” Erhard answered. He looked around again before turning back to Q, searching his eyes for a while. He exhaled deeply before going on, “I could really use someone in the laboratory. A scientist, but also someone I can trust to do the right things.”
When the door opened, and several employees stepped out into the alley, Erhard and Q turned and walked towards the street. They continued walking in silence for almost a block before Q looked at his friend and asked, “Can I sleep on it?”
Erhard nodded. “But don’t wait too long because–”
His sentence was halted when two Gestapo officers stopped directly in their path. “Papers!” they demanded. Despite the August heat, they were dressed in long black leather coats and jackboots.
Erhard turned and saluted them with the Hitlergruss, Q following likewise, clenching his jaw. The Gestapo officers scrutinized his and Erh
ard’s papers thoroughly before handing them back.
But instead of letting them go, the taller officer seemed to enjoy the change in his routine and started to ask question after question. “Where do you work?”
“Loewe. We produce radio equipment for the Wehrmacht,” Erhard said and presented his employee badge.
“And you?” The other officer nodded at Q.
“I work for the Biological Reichs Institute,” Q answered, handing over his own employee card. His neck hair stood on end at the prospect that these officers were bored and looking for trouble.
“Why are you two wandering around Berlin instead of working?” The officer with the soulless grey eyes asked.
His partner added, “Your behavior is very suspicious.”
Q swallowed hard and glanced at Erhard, who didn’t seem in the least intimidated by the Gestapo. Erhard lowered his voice conspiratorially and said, “You are very observant. My partner and I are on a secret mission, penned by the Führer himself, to find enemy radio senders.”
Q blinked at the blatant lie, but Erhard even produced a simple voltmeter from his pocket and showed it to the officers. A voltmeter? To find a radio sender? If those men have even a modicum of grey cells, they’ll know this is bullshit.
But the men were glued to Erhard’s lips as he explained the operating mode of this advanced technical advice, sprinkling in just enough technical gibberish to keep them confused. Both officers tried their best to act as if they understood everything he was telling them and actually thanked Erhard for his important work.
Q silently laughed at the men’s gullibility as they finally left, even saluting Erhard as if he were someone very important. He managed to hold his tongue until the officers were a fair distance away before turning to his friend with a nod and a smile. “Very well done, my friend.”
“That was refreshing, wasn’t it?” Erhard chuckled.
Before they said goodbye, Erhard held him back. “Be careful, my friend. There has been a huge surge in military contracts at Loewe in the last few months, and they all point to September. So far the war has been easy on us, but something much bigger is coming. Something the English and the French can’t ignore.”
Unyielding: Love and Resistance in WW2 Germany (World War II Trilogy) Page 9
