by Elise Faber
Assholes.
They cropped up everywhere.
Even when she least suspected.
Twenty-One
Jaime
He stowed the bags in the back of his car and got in, his sister, Tammy, already in the front seat of his car.
She’d come into town unexpectantly and had tagged along on his Christmas shopping expedition for Kate, teasing him relentlessly for his last-minute mission. Until she’d seen the store he wanted to get the big present from.
“I’m going to marry her,” he’d announced.
Then her eyes had widened, but she’d quickly shrugged off her shock and helped him make his selection.
Gleefully spending his money.
But that was okay. He was happy to see his favorite sis, even if it was just on a pit stop before she headed to their parents’ house.
“Still can’t believe you’re making me go home alone,” she grumbled as he navigated the crazy parking and pedestrian situation at the mall.
“Unfortunately,” he said. “The clinic will be open the day after, and I need to make sure I’m there.”
It was the truth, but also not.
Because while the clinic was open. It hadn’t been until a week ago when he’d told the front desk to open up the schedule for a few hours in the afternoon.
He’d kept the staff off, and no one had actually booked the appointments.
But his family didn’t need to know that.
The truth was that he didn’t want to be away from Kate. Not this soon. Not when they were just starting out. And it wasn’t like he could bring her home. His family didn’t even know he was fake engaged, let alone seeing a woman.
Though, he knew both of those—minus the fake part—would change as soon as Tammy spilled the beans.
Fine with him.
He wanted to be with Kate, no holds barred.
The sooner everyone on the planet knew that fact, the better.
And so, maybe he was feeling the tiniest bit possessive.
Meh. A man had to do what he had to do, and that included making it clear to the rest of the populace that Kate was his.
“Hmm.”
“What?” he asked, playing innocent, even as he turned in the direction of the airport. Tammy needed to get to her flight, and he needed to get back to the clinic. He’d already pushed several appointments when she’d shown up unexpectantly. He didn’t want to disappoint his clients, knew their time was just as important.
“And none of this staying here for the holiday has anything to do with this Kate?”
“Not going to say it’s not a benefit,” he muttered. “Sex with the woman I love versus opening a poop brown sweater from Aunt Janet.”
Tammy smacked him. “You’re terrible.” A beat. “But not wrong.” Sighing, she leaned back in her seat. “I miss sex.”
He groaned. “No, my ears!”
“What? You can talk about it, but I can’t?”
“Yes,” he said, flashing her a grin. “Exactly that. You’re my baby sister. That means I’m going to go through the rest of my life pretending you’ve never had sex.”
“Newsflash, dumbass,” she grumbled. “I’ve had sex. Loads and loads of really hot, really awesome—”
“La. La. La.”
“Don’t cover your ears,” she said. “You need your hands to drive.”
He laughed, shook his head. “Wasn’t planning on it.” Jaime paused, checking traffic as he merged onto the freeway. “It didn’t work out with your guy?”
“No.”
“Want to talk about it?”
He saw her make a face out of the corner of his eye, expected the change in conversation that came a second later. “When do I get to meet this Kate?”
“When I can get her to not run screaming from our family,” he said dryly.
“Good luck with that.” But it was a lighthearted response, one equal to his words. Because Kate would love his family. It was the same reason he’d felt so comfortable stepping into hers. Love and teasing. Jokes and banter around a dinner table. Enjoying each other’s company. Not hesitating to drop anything to help, to be there, to show they cared.
Two sides of the same coin.
He just had an extra sibling in the mix.
Which is why he knew he’d be making a trip home soon—as much as he grumbled, he loved his family, would miss seeing them for the holiday. He just hoped that he could convince Kate to keep trusting him enough to hop on a plane with him.
Tammy changed the topic to work, and they spent the remainder of the ride to the airport talking about her plans for her job.
She was considering a move to the Bay Area but wasn’t sure she wanted to get mixed up in tech, not when her skills in Human Resources meant she could work in a variety of fields.
“Well, just remember that your favorite brother is here,” he said, hugging her tight.
“My favorite older brother,” she teased. “My favorite younger brother has decided his role is jet-setting around the world and giving our mother coronaries.” They shared a grin, knowing that wasn’t hard to do. Their mom wasn’t exactly known as being easy-going.
“He’s good at that,” Jaime said.
“Damned good.”
“We should take notes.”
She laughed and rose on tiptoe, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Love you, Jaime-Maimy.”
He groaned. “Really? Pulling out old nicknames?”
Tammy grabbed her bag. “It’s part of my privilege as a younger sister.”
“Safe flight, Tammy Two Shoes.”
A roll of her eyes. “And yours, too, apparently. I always hated that nickname.”
He tugged her ponytail. “At least you’ve figured out you only need one shoe on each foot now.”
“They were slippers!” She tossed up her hands. “I was four. How was I supposed to know that you didn’t wear hard shoes over them?”
“I’m not touching that,” he said with a smirk.
“Good. Don’t. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Then after one more and a wave at the automatic doors, she was inside the terminal and Jaime was back in his car, driving to the clinic.
The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur, an emergency pushing his already messed up schedule into the realm of fucked. He kept his head down, tried to stay focused, but as the hours passed, a knot grew in his stomach.
At first, he thought it was something he was missing with the dog.
It had been hit by a car, had suffered some severe injuries.
But as time went on, as he stabilized the lab mix, he realized it wasn’t the case or the clinic, or the devastated owner.
This was about Kate.
She hadn’t texted back earlier.
And when he sent her a message, saying he was caught at the clinic, would still be several hours, she didn’t respond to that one either.
Nor did she pick up his call when he got out of surgery and washed up, having finished up with his other clients and sent his techs home.
It was just him and Roger, the lab mix, whose prognosis was good, but who was loopy and needed more fluids before his owner could come and take him home. Pushing the sinking feeling away, he called his client, told her the good news.
Then he called Kate again.
And again, she didn’t answer.
The knot in his stomach grew, and his fingers flew across the keyboard. He had the distinct notion that the woman he loved was slipping away, and he didn’t know why . . . or how to keep her.
Don’t close the door, Red.
No response.
“Fuck,” he muttered, closing his eyes, and sliding down the wall.
Roger’s tail thumped once on the floor.
“Good boy,” he said gently.
He sat and waited, and as each minute passed without a reply from Kate, his heart sank further.
He was losing her, and he had no clue how to stop it.
Twenty-Two
>
Kate
She hadn’t cried, knew that would come later.
For now, she wrapped Jaime’s presents and shoved them under the tree.
Maybe she’d burn them later.
All that lace would make for a nice flame.
For now, she was digging a giant hole in the back yard. The front was pretty much set, and it wasn’t like she could add any more bulbs than she already had. It was December and too cold to plant much else.
Maybe she’d buy a huge tree.
Then bury the ashes of her lingerie in it.
“Fucking asshole men,” she muttered, still digging. Her T-shirt soaked with sweat, though it was barely above forty—and that was cold for California, okay? She was in old, baggy jeans, had dirt covering her hands and arms, and she suspected, her cheeks. But she didn’t stop digging, not even when the sun went down and it got colder, the impact of the shovel stinging her palms. “Fucking. Asshole. Cheating. Asshole. Fucking. Asshole. Men,” she said, the metal blade reverberating through the ground with each grunted-out word.
“It might take you a while to dig that hole big enough if you’re trying to bury my body.”
Silken male words.
And she was pissed, but not pissed enough to miss the caution underlying the attempt at a joke.
Well, no. Charming wasn’t going to work with her. Nope. No fucking way.
She turned back to her hole and kept digging.
Soft footsteps. “Did you not see my call? My texts?”
Oh, she’d seen them. Meaningless words from a fucking cheating asshole. God, remembering how it felt to see him lie to her from fifty feet away, seeing him dismiss her so easily, it made her already broken heart hurt even more.
But she wasn’t a weakling.
She stabbed the shovel into the dirt and spun to face him.
“How was the mall?” she snapped, crossing her arms and glaring up at him.
Clarity on his face, silence falling. But he didn’t deny he’d been there, with that woman. “It’s not what you think.”
Damn. Dammit all to hell.
The idiotic part of her that had been holding on to some random slice of hope—that he had an identical twin who was dating a gorgeous brunette, or something equally ridiculous—shriveled up and died.
She turned, returned to digging her hole.
Maybe she would make it big enough to bury him.
“Go home, Jaime.”
“No.”
Fury tore through her, and she whipped around to face him. “You’re just like all the rest of them. I trusted you,” she shouted. “I let you in, let you see parts of me that no one else has ever been able to, and y-you—”
Eyes burning, she spun back to the hole.
“Kate.”
“No!” She scooped up a pile of dirt and threw it at him.
It landed with a soft smack against his chest, turning his white T-shirt black in the harsh glow of the floodlights she had shining.
“You’re a liar!” she screamed.
“Yes,” he said.
Fucking asshole. Fucking asshole. Kate shook her head and got back to her hole. But just when the tip of the shovel made contact with the dirt, it was pulled from her hand and tossed aside.
“I was at the mall,” he said, tugging her against his chest. The smell of the damp earth filled her nose.
“I know.” She shoved, tried to wriggle out of his hold.
He held fast. “With my sister.”
“I kn—”
Her words died on her lips.
“With your sister?” she asked numbly, her fury turning to horror to embarrassment to fear. Because this would make him change his mind.
“Yes, Red.”
She’d given him a glimpse of the terrified woman inside and—
A hand on her jaw, tilting her head back, forcing her eyes to his. “Stop.”
“I—”
He kissed her.
The soil—okay, it was really mud—squished between their chests, a cold shock sinking into her skin even as his mouth scorched her to the bone.
He pulled back. “I shouldn’t have lied.” He rested his forehead to hers. “My sister, Tammy, showed up unexpectedly, and I took advantage of her to help me buy your gift.”
“Jaime—”
“I lied,” he said. “I promised to build trust, and I didn’t do that.”
“No,” she said, gripping his arms. “I was there buying your gift, and I saw you with her, and . . . I didn’t trust you.” Shame washed over her. “I acted like an idiot, calling and texting instead of just walking up to you and finding out the truth.”
“Patience.”
“I know.” She blinked. “I didn’t have any. I’m sorry. I should have—”
“No, Red. I meant you need to have patience with yourself.”
She froze. “You’re not mad?”
“That you’re digging the hole you want to bury my body in?” He rubbed his nose against hers. “No, baby. Fuck, I don’t know what I would have done if I was in the same boat as you. Freaked out? Beat the asshole up? Kissed you in front of everyone and make it clear you were mine?”
She bit her lip. “I should have gone for the last.”
He nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I would have voted for, too.”
“I don’t want to have a hard time trusting you,” she said, voice shaking. “I love you and want to not doubt us together, to not doubt you—”
“But we’ve been fake-engaged for a week,” he said. “Cut yourself some slack.”
Kate nodded and knew that it was time for her to tell him the last piece of the puzzle, something even Heidi didn’t know.
The real reason it was so hard for her to trust anyone.
“I didn’t use to be like this.”
He stilled, pale brown eyes on hers. She shivered.
“Hold on, honey,” he said gently, and then he bent, picked her up into his arms, and carried her into her house, bypassing the kitchen, the family room, moving up the stairs, and passed the bedroom.
He carried her all the way into the bathroom then turned on the shower.
It wasn’t until steam filled the space that she realized she was chilled to the bone and trembling.
Her shoes hit the floor. Her clothes joined them.
Jaime’s followed suit.
Then he was lifting her into his arms again, stepping into the shower stall, hot water sluicing over her, warming her, combining with his tight hold and stopping her shivers.
Only then did he say, “Tell me.”
Her eyes dropped to the tile and she sighed. “It’s stupid when I think of what started it.”
“I don’t care how stupid it is,” he said. “I just want to know what hurt you.” Fingers on her cheek. “Take away the power. Let the pain be washed away.”
“It’s not fair that you’re so normal and I’m—”
“Wonderful, smart, sexy, loveable Kate.”
She sniffed, released a ragged breath. And then she told him the reason her family had to move when she was in high school.
Why she’d gone away to college. Why it had been damned hard for Heidi to break through her tough shell, and her friend had only been successful because Heidi rivaled Kate in her stubbornness.
“I was bullied,” she admitted.
Surprise across his eyes and his jaw clenched. “Oh, Red.”
She shrugged. “At first, it was just normal kids’ stuff. A jerky boy who made fun of my hair, a mean girl who teased me for my freckles. God, this is so embarrassing.” She covered her face with her hands. “It’s so long ago—”
One move had her pressed to the tile.
She gasped at the cold tile on her back, contrasted against the hot body pressed to her front.
“Not stupid.” Terse words. “Tell me.”
Kate swallowed hard, knew that she would have an argument on her hands if she denied him. And . . . he was right. Wasn’t it beyond time for her to stop letting this ha
ve power over her?
“Middle school came,” she said. “I developed early.” And embarrassment gave way to anger, because what was done to her wasn’t right. It wasn’t stupid kid stuff any longer. It was mean and hurtful and . . . illegal. “I had this crush on a boy. I thought he was the cutest. Long hair”—a smile in his direction—“gorgeous blue eyes, and he was two whole years older. An eighth-grader when I was a lowly sixth-grader.”
Her fingers tightened on his shoulders when the memory cropped up, and she went to release them, not wanting to hurt Jaime.
“Don’t,” he said. “Hold on as tight as you need, Red.”
God, she loved this man.
But she wanted to finish this, to be done with the painful chapter, to do that looking forward she’d promised herself earlier.
“His sister was in my grade. We’d been friends for years, but grew apart in middle school, and it went as you might expect.” Kate sighed. “She started hanging with a different group, with the popular kids, and when they found out I liked him, they took pictures of me changing.”
Now Jaime’s grip tightened.
“Not naked,” she said. “But close enough. I was in a bra and underwear, changing from P.E., and those pictures were everywhere. The sole good thing about this is it was before Facebook and Snapchat and Instagram. But they printed out the pictures and taped them up all over school. I’d tear one down and then I’d open my locker and another copy would be there. Or go to the bathroom and there was one taped to the stall door, and to the mirror, and passed out at football games.” She shuddered out a breath. “Everyone saw them. It was . . . well, for a girl not comfortable in her own skin, especially for one with boobs and curves that were more developed, it was horrible.” A shiver had Jaime turning up the heat on the shower, and she was grateful. “Then they spread the rumor that I’d known about the camera, that I was posing for the pictures, and . . . guys made assumptions. Hell, girls and teachers did, too.”
Her chin dropped to her chest.
“Red,” he said hoarsely. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s not all,” she whispered then forced herself to lift her head, to strengthen her tone. “The police opened an investigation, and because I was underage and the pictures were shared, it was considered child pornography.”
