I tossed a rain-drenched branch against the ground in frustration. I couldn’t look at him. He was right. I did have that bounty before I met him. I knew it some way, I was wrong. I lied. I hid the truth from him. I was a wanted criminal, sentenced to die. I was dangerous and not to be trusted. But that did not change the fact that I was entirely disappointed in Theo. I walked ahead, avoiding his gaze.
“Don’t you want to tell me what you did?” I didn’t answer. “Are there more fur-covered princes out there?”
I glared back at him. “Not funny.”
“Just tell me,” he insisted.
“I didn’t do anything,” I answered.
“Come on now, tell me.”
“I told you. I didn’t do anything.” I raised my voice and winced for losing my temper. After chiding him so much for being so loud, I would need to be more careful.
“You expect me to believe that people want you dead because you did nothing.”
“It is an insane as it sounds.”
“That doesn’t make any sense, Anabelle. There has to be something, and I’m assuming you’re just too ashamed of whatever you did to tell me.”
I stopped what I was doing. I could feel my hands clench into fists, and I honestly did not know if he said that to trick me into talking.
“I told you; I didn’t do anything wrong,” I said more quietly. I kept my back to him because I didn’t want to see his face as I spoke. I didn’t care for pity much. “Everything I told you before about my family was true. I was on my own from a young age. To most, I was odd, but never much of a threat. Then, stories began to spread about me. I was a witch who traveled the countryside turning men into sheep—which I have never done—and stealing children from their mothers. The stories only became more and more ridiculous, and just when I thought people would stop believing in them, they proved me wrong. Before you, I had never hurt another soul or ever used my magic on them, at least not in a harmful way. I do not curse people or steal children. People just needed someone to blame, so they blame me.”
I turned to face him, and I was met with his most human-looking expression yet. It wasn’t pity, but more like empathy. My voice was still full of bitterness.
“And the only thing I am ashamed of is falling too easily for empty promises.”
He looked as if he were ready to reply to my insult, but his words were cut off by the echoing sound of ugly snarls coming from the thick woods around us. Instinctively, I stepped closer to Theo as we both searched the darkening forest for the source of the growls. I could see something subtle stalking slowly through the trees.
“Stay behind me,” he said. I glanced up at him in confusion. Did he really think he was beast enough to take on a pack of hungry wolves?
Without any further warning, something pounced. A large gray wolf snapped his jowls at me so quickly, that I thought I felt it bite although it did not make contact. I fell backward and covered my body with my arms as two more jumped in, but they did not come for me. One latched its teeth onto Theo’s arm while the other drew blood at his side.
Theo fought them off, but he was quickly overwhelmed by the size of the pack. He swung his arms at them, kicking at the ones who tried to take him by the legs. His grunts and shouts started to blend with theirs, and within moments I became lost in the battle. Theo was like nothing I had ever seen. He was no longer a man, but not yet an animal—and he fought them like both.
But just as one began to launch for his neck, Theo looked in my eyes and pleaded. “Ana, help me,” he cried. I suddenly felt so helpless, as I did not know if he meant from the wolves or from this strange thing he was becoming.
The largest of the wolves took another leap for his neck, but Theo’s reflexes were faster. In a swift movement, he had the animal by the neck. I clenched my eyes shut fast enough before I heard the deafening crack of the snapping neck. Then, silence.
I did not want to open my eyes, but once I heard the deep, gasping breath coming from Theo, I shot them open to find him kneeling, covered in blood with the lifeless animal laying before him. The other wolves had frozen around Theo as if they were just as surprised by what he had done. They began to sniff the body of what appeared to be their alpha, then became erratic and restless hopping around Theo, barking and snapping at each other.
“Get out of here!” he bellowed, half-shouting, half-roaring. The animals shot away from the scene in a flash.
Theo did not move. I could see blood leaking from a wound in his arm, under the fur. I had a moment where I considered running. He was too hurt to chase me, and he seemed too transfixed on the dead wolf.
But it was the way he stared at the animal that kept me in my spot. There was regret in his eyes. And I reminded myself that I did this to him. The Theo I knew would never have had the savage in him to kill an animal so easily.
“Theo,” I whispered.
He managed one agonizing glance in my direction before his dark eyes closed and he fell limp to the ground.
The Confession
WHEN THEO CAME to, it was well into the night. I had a low fire burning, and the two rabbits we caught were well-done, ready. And although I was ravenous, I waited until he was awake to eat. I cleaned up his wounds as well as I could and moved the alpha to a shallow burial in the hills so that Theo would not have to face him again.
I didn’t say anything to him as he woke. I handed him the warm meat and a canteen of water. He accepted them with a nod and devoured them both.
After we both finished eating, the silence became almost unbearable. I could feel him staring at me across the burning embers.
“What did you do to me?” he asked finally. His voice was losing its pitch. It was starting to sound more and more like a growl, strangled to make words and inflections.
“I told you,” I said, staring at the fire. “I don’t know what the magic did.”
“How do you not know? You were the one who cursed me.”
“It’s not a curse. It doesn’t work that way.”
“Then, how do I know you can even fix it?”
“Because you can trust me,” I said without looking at him. I prodded the fire with a long branch and let the flames warm my cold fingertips. He was silent as well. We both sat in awkward silence as the flames cracked and whistled.
Finally, he spoke.
“How was I to know? How was I to know that you meant me no harm? What would you have thought? If you were me…”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be angry. I was too tired to even attempt it.
“Anabelle, as far as I knew, you were the traitor. My brothers showed me the bounty posters, told me I had been tricked, that I was weak for falling for your spells. I felt like a fool.”
“I expected you to trust me.”
“When you lied to me!”
“You took their side over mine!”
“They’re my brothers!”
“You told me you loved me!”
We both sighed knowing that our argument was becoming too heated and too loud. We were already taking a risk with the fire.
He continued. “Perhaps if you remember the moment that you cursed me, what you were thinking at the time…maybe you would know what the magic did…”
I looked up at him. “What difference does it make?”
“Look at me! It makes a difference to me. You claim to care about me so much, but it sure didn’t stop you from turning me into this!”
“That was before I found out what a coward you were.”
“I’m the coward? I’m not the one running.”
“You have no idea what it’s like to face hatred everywhere you go. To grow up without anyone to love you or even care whether you stay or you go. To be so alone. All I wanted was someone to just see me, not the witch or the cursed child. To see fear in the eyes of anyone who dared get too close. And then…and then I met you…and…” I fought back the tears. My throat screamed in pain as I wanted to sob. He stared blankly at me. “How could I have told you
, Theo? I wanted to. I wanted to believe that you would look past it. No, in fact, I hoped you would embrace it.”
He didn’t speak or move, only stared at me. His face was blank and I could not read what he was thinking, but the pain I had felt that day in the forest felt fresh and new. “You broke my heart. That’s what I was thinking when I put the spell on you. I was thinking that you were worse than the rest of them because for those few wonderful days, you gave me hope. You let me believe that I could be happy. That I wouldn’t have to be alone or run. You let me think for a moment that I would find happiness, love…a family.” Tears were streaming down my face now. That wound that I had been ignoring all day felt raw and open now. I didn’t want to own up to any of these feelings, but after the day it had been, it was useless to be guarded anymore. “Then, you took it all away, Theo. What you did was worse than all the rest. That’s what I was thinking…” Suddenly, realization dawned on me. I felt like shrinking into myself and turning away from him because I finally knew what it was that I did. I knew what I was thinking at the time that I set my magic on him.
“What was it?” he asked, his voice blank and stern as if he could see the realization just as I did.
My voice squeaked out the words through the tears, ashamed of saying them out loud. “Unlovable. Unworthy of love. A monster.” The words sickened my stomach as they left my lips and the emotion of regret and pain hung in the air between us.
He looked away from me, but the remorse on his face was plain to see. He looked as awful as I felt.
What he did to me was terrible, but what I wished upon him was unforgivable. I knew that it was simply a culmination of hurt and pain over my entire lifetime that I put into that curse, but I never meant to unleash so much hatred onto him. To be unlovable was a curse that no one should ever be subjected to…how could I have done that to him? The person I loved more than anyone.
The rest of the night was cold, silent, and miserable. Neither of us got up to leave, and I knew that Theo was in more pain than he let on. I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I remember the sensation of tears spilling through my closed lids when I drifted off.
It was not yet dusk when Theo nudged me awake and urged me to eat something before we started our journey again. I asked him how his wounds were healing, but he gave a quick, curt nod and dismissed the subject.
He was being oddly gentle that morning. We walked much slower than the day before, and although I suspected it was because of his injuries, I also felt his presence so much closer too. He walked next to me, sometimes leaning on me over large steps or allowing me to lean on him. At one point, as we found an easy path to traverse, he walked at my side, his beast-like hand resting on the small of my back as if he were protecting me.
For the most part, the journey was quiet. We didn’t bring up any more arguments or questions and kept our conversation to the forest and the journey.
The silence allowed my mind to daydream while we walked. Having him so close only made the memories worse. I reminisced on the night of the masquerade ball—the night before it all ended. I was so nervous to be there, among the royalty and the rich. He promised me that he would keep me safe and that no one would bother me. He escorted me in, much like he walked next to me on the path. He whispered in my ear all night, telling me who in the party he despised more than others. He kept me close, and although the room was crowded, I felt like he and I were the only two there.
And the thing that I loved most about Theo was made so much clearer that night. He had a way of treating me like I was the only one who mattered. He was not above me or better than me. He respected me, listened to me, and as he confessed that night, loved me.
I suppose it’s what brought us together in the first place. We were both outcasts in a way. He was the youngest of three brothers, but not nearly as hungry for power as the other two. Being third in line meant being ignored very often, and although he would have made the best king out of the three, he was discarded before he even had a chance.
On the night of the ball, we both agreed that although it was lovely, it wasn’t where we belonged. And before long, we found ourselves back outside, away from the crowd and finding solace in each other.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said. His hands were in my hair which he did so often, and our foreheads were pressed together as we stood together outside the castle walls.
“Hmm…” I murmured back in response.
“We should get out of here.”
“Where would you like to go?” I asked. My face remained hidden under the mask from the ball, and I felt as if there was a permanent smile frozen on my face.
“Away. Anywhere.” My heartbeat quickened as his words started to sink in. I assumed he meant getting out of here tonight, but I suspected he meant something much more serious.
I pulled away and lifted the mask from his eyes.
“What are you saying?” I asked.
“Anabelle, I’m talking about running away together. As long as we stay here, we can never truly be together. We could live out in the woods for all I care. I don’t want to stay in this life anymore. I don’t want to be a useless prince.”
I couldn’t answer. My voice felt locked in my throat, and all I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears. It felt like too much at once—too much happiness. Too much hope.
I stared at his face, my mouth hanging open in shock. I could see in his eyes the love and honesty that he showed every single day I had spent with him. My initial reaction was to say no, but as I felt his fingers run through my hair, I knew that he was right. My time here with him was waning, and before long I would risk being caught if I stayed. I was going to lose him forever, and I suddenly felt desperate to avoid that.
And once I let myself accept that idea, I fell head first into it. “Yes,” I answered.
“Really?” he asked, seemingly surprised as I was by my response.
“Yes. Of course,” I whispered back as tears pricked my eyes.
He smiled that brilliant smile and lifted the mask from my face as he kissed me. And when he pulled away he whispered those three special words in my ear, and I suddenly feared that that night would be the happiest night of my life. Because to me, there was nothing more terrifying than being happy.
I snapped myself back to the present as I walked next to Theo. I glanced over at him, and he glanced back. I swallowed down the fear as I looked at his face and how different it had become. He no longer had those soft, round cheeks, and there was no sign of those dimples that pierced either side of his face when he smiled. In fact, his face had taken on the shape of an animal’s so much that I doubted he even had the ability to smile anymore.
I looked away. We were getting closer and closer to the pass and I could not shake the feeling that things between us would not end well. Either I would not be able to cure him, and the world would never see his smile again—or I do, and I have to say goodbye forever.
The Mountain
IT WAS NEAR dusk when he approached the foot of the mountain range. We stood, surveying our surroundings, both of us on edge. Not only did we have to fear the hunter’s army waiting to find me at the pass, but we also had the impending task of changing him back.
I looked at him, waiting for him to demand that I deliver my part of the bargain. By that point, I dreaded it.
“We should just camp here for the night. It seems quiet enough.”
I’m sure the surprise was obvious on my face. I quickly agreed and wondered if he was feeling the same hesitation as I was. I studied his face but could find no sign of forgiveness there. In fact, there was no expression there at all.
We opted to skip the fire that night because the risk of the hunters being so close was greater than the night before. Of course, this only meant one thing: for warmth, we would have to stay close—to each other.
We found a small, cozy cave to hide in where we ate the rest of the now-stale bread from my pack and a few berries we collected along the way. I caught T
heo examining his clawed hand as we ate. I nearly offered to change him back at that moment, but I admit, I was too scared. What if I changed him back and he immediately left? What if I could not change him at all?
We nestled against the rock wall side-by-side using my cloak to cover us. As it became very dark, and I started to shiver, he opened his arm so that I could rest against his chest. For the first time since the ball, it felt like Theo again, but I urged myself not to become to content. In the morning, he would rid himself of my presence forever.
Somewhere during the night, Theo’s restless shivers woke me from my light sleep. At first, I suspected it was from the cold, but as I watched him in the moonlight, I noticed that he was suffering. His face was set in a grimace and his jerks showed signs of pain.
I quickly tried to wake him, placing my hands against his chest and shaking him while whispering his name. He woke easily, but the panic was clear. It took too long for him to recognize me or where we were.
“Are you alright?” I whispered. He did not answer. He only stared at me as if he did not know me. “Theo, talk to me.” My voice shook with fear. I hated how distant he had gotten. “Theo!” I pleaded again, still keeping my voice as quiet as it would go.
With one blink, he seemed to reach that realization. “I’m fine,” he answered. “What time is it? Maybe we should get moving.” He started to stand, and I nearly stopped him and reminded him that it was still the middle of the night, but I had a new sense of urgency about this. Theo was slipping. The beast was taking over, and if we didn’t reach that pass in time, it could be too late to change him back at all.
“So, how exactly do you use magic to find this passageway?” he asked after we had spent the rest of the dark hours climbing slowly up the foot of the mountain to the canyon platform above.
“Don’t be cross with this answer, but I don’t actually know.” I heard him laugh behind me as we made the last few steep steps up the rock exterior.
Beast: An Anthology Page 10
