“I know. In a way, this is worse than what happened with Julián. I didn’t even know he existed before I knew he was missing.” Grant’s words cut me. Yes, I knew I hadn’t told him that I had a son, a son that could’ve been his. But luckily, through intensive therapy and open communication, Grant and I had worked through our problems. I truly believe he forgave me. And better yet, he understood why I had not told him.
“I agree. It is worse. And Mitch blames himself because he was there. I was drugged up in the hospital when our son was taken.” I looked over at Ashley, who was staring at me. “Babe, I should go. Love you.”
“Love you.”
I hung up the phone. Ash gave me an inquisitive glance. I answered her look with a shake of my head.
No words.
No leads.
No progress on Sienna.
After another hour or so, Ash and I arrived at April’s house.
I was sure the FBI would be here soon. I didn’t want to destroy any evidence.
“What are we looking for?”
Ash shrugged. “Everything. Nothing. Anything.”
Well then. Now that we got that out of the way.
“I’ll start with the photo albums.” I grabbed an older one on a shelf. The binding was similar to the one I had found at Paul’s parents’ home, the night I found a picture of my father in it. A picture where he was with Ash’s father. Could I really be her sister? I strongly doubted that. We didn’t look alike at all. I guess I would await the DNA test. Note to self: I needed to mail them tomorrow.
I sat on the sofa and thumbed through the album. Typical stuff: pictures of Sam and Sienna as babies; pictures of April, Sam, and Sienna, traveling together. There were almost no pictures of Mitch, which I found a bit strange. But their divorce was bitter, so it was understandable if she didn’t include them in a family album.
I grabbed another album; this one was of April’s childhood. She seemed to have a normal upbringing filled with ballet recitals and piano lessons.
I studied a family portrait of her with her parents and baby brother. They were dressed up and smiling.
But one thing struck me as odd.
April had blonde hair and blue eyes. Her parents both had dark hair, eyes, and skin. She didn’t look like either of them. Or her brother.
My breath hitched. This meant nothing. Nothing at all. She was probably adopted. People adopted children all the time.
But I couldn’t ignore the feeling in my gut that somehow, someway, this could be related to Sienna.
The motherfucker who had taken Sienna and given her to that man said that she had called the man Grandpa.
And Sam had also said that he’d seen this same grandpa at Disneyland.
So, who the hell was this guy?
Maybe he was, in fact, Sienna’s grandpa.
I wanted to be sure I was on to something before I jumped to another conclusion.
I took the picture out, placed the album down, and went into the kitchen. The pantry was bare. Even though April was in the hospital, I found that odd. She had two young children; my pantry was always stuffed with snacks. Had April intended to overdose? I could only speculate.
I needed to clear my mind. Think. I was so consumed with Joaquín that I couldn’t focus. I closed my eyes and did a quick meditation.
After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and centered myself in the room.
Ash, who was going through boxes of mail, eyed me. “You going to bust out in some yoga, too? We have a missing little girl. Probably not the best time to take a break.”
Ash was so fucking uptight. I understood the importance of the task on hand, but even so, working when I was distracted would not bring Sienna home faster. We needed time to think, to reflect, to analyze.
“I’m not taking a break. I’m calmly centering myself so I can try to understand all the pieces.”
Ash rolled her eyes. Man, I would’ve thought that fucking Mitch might have loosened her up, but I was dead wrong.
“What are you pondering, Mia? Do tell. Please don’t tell me this has something to do with your new age interests. If you even suggest that we consult a psychic or read some Tarot cards to find Sienna, I’m going to lose it.”
I grabbed a canteen from my purse and filled it with hot water from the filtration device on the sink. I perused the tea choices in the pantry. Normally I would go for something calming, like chamomile, but I was exhausted, and I had a long night of work in front of me, so I chose an Earl Grey blend. April was clearly not a tea connoisseur; she had no loose-leaf teas or infusers. I was lucky to find this Earl Grey pack, even if it had recently expired. My kettle began to whistle. I plopped my tea bag down in the canteen to steep. Maybe once I had a sip, I could finally try to make some sense out of everything.
“Ash, you really need to stop being so bitchy to me. I know you’ve had some issues, but we’re in this together. The focus is on Sienna. And you should be able to find a small bit of compassion toward me, especially since I just found out that my brother may have been lying to me.” I inhaled the tea, but it was still too hot to taste. “And, because you think there’s a possibility that I’m your sister.”
Ash stood up and walked over to me. She grabbed my shoulders. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m awful. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so so so stressed out about Sienna. I’ve been blaming myself for leaving Mitch alone with her. If only I had been there, maybe she wouldn’t be gone.”
“Don’t do that to yourself. This is not your fault. And Ash, it’s okay to let people in.” I was ready to practice what I preached. “Look, I never told you, but I loved you as Autumn. I cared about you. You brought me eye to eye with my son for the first time since he had been taken. I will always love you for that. Whether we are sisters or not, I want to try to be your friend. Let me in, Ash.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and for a second, I thought that she would burst into tears. But Ash was not one for getting emotional, so I checked my expectations.
“Thanks, Mia. I’ll try. Now, what did you see?”
I took a sip of tea and showed Ashley the picture. “This picture of April and her family. The thing is, she doesn’t look like any of them. Neither does her brother. I mean, she’s probably adopted so it’s not a big deal, but maybe her biological dad is the grandpa who took Sienna. It’s a huge hunch, but we need to look into it.”
Ash ripped the picture out of my hand.
“What?”
Ash’s hands shook as she traced the picture. “April looks exactly like I did as a child.”
3
Mitch
AFTER THE LONGEST DAY OF my life, which said a lot since that included staying up for twenty-four hours in BUD/S during Hell Week, I finally collapsed on the bed in the hotel room.
Grant was with me, and I appreciated his support, especially to entertain Sam. But, now, it was night. The first night in my life since Sienna had been born where I wasn’t certain she was safe. Even when I had been deployed or after my divorce, I knew that my children were with someone who loved them. April and I had our differences, no doubt. But she was a good mother.
Make that she IS a good mother.
April. She was still in a coma. I had called her doctor’s earlier tonight, and there was no change in her condition. She didn’t even know that her daughter was missing.
Could she have been involved? Did she overdose on purpose?
Did she . . . my mind could almost not even form the thought, but the torturous idea barreled through my brain . . . sell her?
No. Never. I couldn’t believe that. I wouldn’t believe that. I would give my ex-wife the benefit of the doubt. She deserved that.
After, she hadn’t lost Sienna on her watch. I had. Some SEAL. I should be stripped of my trident. I couldn’t even watch my own daughter.
A paralyzing tightness took over my chest. How had I so utterly failed her? As a SEAL, I had been able to keep my country safe, yet I was unable to protect my own dau
ghter. My own flesh and blood. My heart and soul.
Grant was scrolling through his phone. As men, especially alpha male SEALs, we were not used to talking about our feelings. No. We kept those emotions that we never expressed tight to our chests. We had been through hell and back together—more deployments than I could count, relationship problems, his injuries. Still, through it all, he had always had my back.
As if he could sense me staring at him, his eyes rose to meet mine. “Hey. Can I get you anything?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m just numb. I feel so fucking helpless, dude. I want to hit the ground and find Sienna. Sitting inside this hotel room is killing me. I can’t help but imagine what she is going through right now. What they—” I stopped myself. My mind had turned into an endless horror reel.
Grant made intense eye contact, and I turned away.
“Don’t. You can’t do that. It will drive you insane. I found Julián. You will find Sienna. We will find Sienna.”
“I clenched my fist but then quickly released it. I would not lash out at Grant; he was just trying to help. Even so, he had to hear what I had to say.
I took a deep breath, purposely trying to lower the tone of my voice. “There is zero correlation. Zero correlation between what happened to Julián and what happened to Sienna. Zero. Joaquín kidnapped his nephew, thought Julián was his child. And you and Mia worked together to find him. April is in a coma. She has been hanging around the shadiest people ever. And now, there is this fucking “grandpa” who supposedly took her.”
I closed my eyes and remembered the picture that the sketch artist had tried to recreate from Sam’s description.
I felt Grant’s hand on my shoulder. ”Or, maybe, there is.”
I eyed him hard. “What the fuck are you talking about? The only correlation here is that there are two children of SEALs who were kidnapped.”
“And that’s a pretty big coincidence, don’t you think?”
I did think it was strange. But SEALs always had shitty luck. I wasn’t going to put any stock into his batshit notions. He had changed ever since he’d married Mia. She was probably putting crazy ideas into his head. But I was desperate for answers, so I would listen.
“What are you saying?”
“What if…?” He paused, his eyes searching around the room as if to find some answers. “What if, Mia is right.”
“What are you talking about, bro? Sienna just got kidnapped. What does Mia have to do with anything?”
“On most days, Mia has learned to accept what happened with her brother, but every now and then, I find her in the office, mainlining coffee, manically typing. She’s on some mission, scouring the dark web looking for answers.”
“Answers to what?”
“She’s convinced there is some type of Navy SEAL underground cartel that Joaquín was involved with.”
Well, I had to admit that there was a slim possibility that she was right. But more likely than not, she was just insane. Mia had always been a freak; her head was still in the clouds. Hell, I was shocked that she’d graduated from NCIS training, but at this point, I was so desperate to find Sienna that I, too, would look for outside explanations. If that meant I had to go to a fucking psychic in a seedy hole in the wall, reading tarot cards, analyzing my palm, hell communicating with spirits, I was willing to do that for my little girl.
“Well, did she find anything?”
Grant shook his head. “No, she didn’t. But that’s the thing, she won’t give up. And she is convinced that Joaquín didn’t act alone, that Joaquín didn’t rape her, that Joaquín was part of some underground cartel that was involved with higher-ups in the Navy SEALs. At first, I freaked and called her crazy, but she showed me her journals and notes. There is nothing concrete, but who knows?”
Well, Mia was clearly unhinged. I still didn’t think her delusions had anything to do with finding my little girl. “You are her husband. Do you believe her?”
“No. I don’t believe in conspiracy theories. I think there is a simpler explanation. As for her theories, she is constantly begging me to find some answers I don’t have. Answer questions about things I never saw. I have nothing to support what’s in her head.”
I studied the lines around Grant’s eyes; though we were only in our mid-twenties, both of us showed signs of aging. Being a SEAL was a rough life. But I noticed something else—his hand was shaking. “Grant, what are you keeping from me? Do you know something?”
“No, I don’t know about any conspiracies, but even though I was one hundred percent certain two years ago that Joaquín had raped her, I don’t believe that anymore.”
A tightness filled my chest. What was he even talking about right now?
“Dude, are you high? We saw Joaquín with our own eyes with Mia in Carmel. He’s guilty as sin. Is Mia getting in your skull? He fucking raped her, and you know it. I know you don’t want to imagine that, but it’s true.”
“Look, bro, it kills me to say this, but Joaquín didn’t rape Mia. Just don’t ask me how I know. I can’t tell you.”
And now, I wanted to punch him. “My little girl is missing, you motherfucker. You need to tell me anything you know. Make that everything you know!”
“This has nothing to do with Sienna. I took care of it. You have my word. I haven’t even told Mia. Make that, I won’t tell Mia. Not yet, anyway. What I can tell you is this—I believe we will find Sienna. And I believe she is safe, just like Julián was. I know that doesn’t help, and I don’t have anything to back these feelings up. But that is what my gut is telling me.”
And with that, Grant lay down on the floor and went to sleep.
I glanced over at Sam, who was luckily fast asleep. Rage pulsated through my body. I didn’t want to be alone, but I didn’t want to be anywhere near Grant right now. Whatever his fucking reason, he owed it to me, to Sienna, to tell me anything he knew.
What was he keeping from me? And what did he take care of?
I grabbed my phone and scrolled through the messages Ashley had left. I had to admit, she’d really stepped up for me. Dropping work, racing to Anaheim, and then to Vegas to see if she could help.
I called her back, and she picked up on the first ring.
Like an angel, her words warmed my stone-cold heart. “Hey, baby. I miss you.”
4
Ash
THE SOUND OF MITCH’S VOICE broke me. Just a few weeks ago, we were mortal enemies. My, how everything had changed. He went from someone I’d detested, to my bad boy lover, to someone who I was developing genuine feelings for. Of course, like any person with a heart, I had compassion for his situation with his daughter, but it was more than that. More than pity. I liked him for him. I missed him. I cared about him.
And I normally cared about no one. Not even myself.
“How you doing, baby? Did you find anything?”
I didn’t know what to tell him. I refused to keep anything from him. But I didn’t want to overwhelm him, tell him things that weren’t related to finding his daughter. He didn’t need to know that right now, I questioned Joaquín’s guilt. He didn’t need to know that I had a weird resemblance to his ex-wife. All of these things didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was Sienna. So, I would focus on what was relevant to finding his daughter.
“Well, I’m not sure if this is anything, but Mia went through some photo albums and noticed that April doesn’t look like her parents.” She looks like me. “Is she adopted? Does she have some biological grandparent somewhere?”
I waited for his answer on bated breath, stupidly wondering if somehow April was connected to my missing sister.
“She was adopted. But it was a closed adoption, and she had never met her birth parents. But definitely a good lead, babe. I’ll tell the FBI. Let me call the agent. I’ll call you right back.”
“Okay. Bye.”
He hung up. I relaxed back on the hotel bed. Mia was in a room across the hallway. We didn’t think it was appropriate to spend the n
ight at April’s house, even though I had slept there a few nights ago with Mitch. But everything was so different then.
I needed some downtime. I wasn’t spiritual like Mia, so instead, I drew myself a long, hot bath, taking my phone with me just in case Mitch called back.
The hot water seeped into my soul, and I let out a long exhale. I rarely took time for myself. I was consumed with anxiety and guilt. If only I worked harder, if only I had dug deeper, I could find the truth.
But I was doubting I would ever find the answers I was looking for.
The phone rang. I picked it up, still in the bathtub.
“Hey, babe. What did they say?”
“They said they will look into it. April is in a coma, so I don’t know how far they will get. We can start doing our own work.”
“Yup. I have a hair sample from Sienna. Mia will be sending it to the lab. We can also enter the results on a genetics site. Try to get some answers.”
“Thanks, Ash. You’re the best.”
I pursed my lips. I didn’t feel like the best. I changed the subject. “What about you? Any new leads from the police? That sketch of the grandpa?”
“Nope. Nothing. Just an agonizing day of hating myself. If it wasn’t for Sam, I don’t know if I could go on.”
His words chilled me. Mitch was a proud man. A Navy SEAL. Invincible. Strong. Alpha male to the nth degree. “Don’t say that, babe. We will find her,” I lied. I had never found any leads about my sister. I could be possibly wrong about Joaquín. My word wasn’t worth shit.
“I want to believe that. I have to believe we will. No matter how much of a fuck-up I’ve been, I always, always had my kids. They are my world. I was a shitty husband to April. My career means nothing to me if I don’t have my kids. Everything I do is for them. When I was about to give up and quit during BUD/S, I pushed through because of them. If I don’t have them, I don’t want to live.”
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