by Prenisha Aja
Placing my hand on my stomach, I began to rub gently, hoping that the pain would subside but unfortunately, it didn’t. No. I began to worry as I reached over, trying to feel for Sawyer, but his side of the bed was empty. I wondered where he was as I tried not to panic and think the worst.
Sitting up, as another wave of pain hit me, I threw my feet on side the bed and stood up.
Gsshh, the sound of fluids rushing to the floor, scared the fuck out of me. I was too scared to look at the floor to see what it consisted of. All I could do was shut my eyes, tightly and begin to pray that God did not let me get this far just to snatch my baby from me. I just knew this wasn’t happening.
With my legs feeling weak, I finally looked down and I was standing in a puddle of blood. My head began to feel light. My soul began to feel like it was leaving my body and the nightmare that kept haunting me, just had to ride my back one final time.
“Sawyer!” I screamed his name as I felt like all my blood was being drained from me.
“Sawyer!” I cried out his name as I felt myself collapsing to the floor.
My eyes were fluttering open as I laid in my own blood, knowing that there was a high chance I was losing my baby. Our baby.
“Brynlee.” Sawyer shook me.
“Brynlee, baby wake up.” I felt Sawyer shake me harder.
Popping straight up, I began to look all around me. I threw the covers back, relieved that I was only dreaming. That I was only having a nightmare. The beads of sweat on my forehead and the sticky, sweaty feeling of my palms let me know how deep into that nightmare I was.
As I caressed my stomach, I swear, I felt a kick. It was like reassurance of my child letting me know everything was going to be ok.
“Baby, you good?” Sawyer climbed further into bed and I broke down.
He wrapped his arms around me and consoled me as I cried hard.
“Can you tell me why you’re crying?” he asked, confused as to why I woke up so damn emotional.
I began to explain to him about my nightmare and watched as his face contoured into a sad expression. I knew that if I lost my child this far along, there would be no coming back from the level of depression I would reach.
“Baby, now you no better.” He paused as he kissed me on the lips and wiped my tears away.
“You’re going to be ok. Our baby is going to be ok.” He placed his hand on my belly and we both looked at each other and smiled, followed by a deep kiss.
I loved that about Sawyer; whenever I needed reassurance about something, he was right there. I think that would always be a flaw of mine after suffering the way that I did but with each step I continued to take, I could say I’d become stronger.
Well, besides my hormones sometimes making me a big cry baby, I was finally able to say I was ok with where I was.
“Now, you know today is the gender reveal. Get up and start getting dressed. You know it takes you forever now.” Sawyer kissed me on the tip of my nose as he backed out of the bed.
As he stood there, Sai’von came running into the room.
“Hey Daddy, I just beat level ten on ROBLOX,” he excitedly told Sawyer.
“That’s good my boy.” Sawyer bent down to his level so they could fist pound.
Watching the two of them, I kind of wanted a boy so that they could all have a good time together and not fight, because you know how girls and boys could be; however, I needed more estrogen around here to level it out.
“Sai’ what you think Brynlee is going to have?” Sawyer asked him, causing Sai’ to look into my direction.
“A boy. I want a brother,” Sai’ said.
I laughed. Of course he would say that but even if I didn’t have a boy, there was a chance that his mother would. Sawyer had told me about her being pregnant and I wasn’t shocked, but I felt bad after hearing about Spencer being missing, even though I knew exactly what had happened to him.
However, in good news, Kelia had been on her best behavior. Now no, we weren’t trying to be cool or hang around each other, but we were cordial when we needed to be. She now understood her place in Sawyer’s life and she also understood mine.
“Well, we will just have to see today, won’t we?” I smiled big as hell, one, relieved that I had just been dreaming and two, happy as hell to find out what we were having.
“Sai’ go finish playing your game until I come and get you dressed,” Sawyer told Sai’ and his little self-took off running, leaving us only to hear his footsteps tap against the tile floor.
I got up out of the bed and walked into the bathroom, so I could relieve my bladder. It was like I had to go every five minutes.
After peeing, I wiped, flushed and went over to the sink to wash my hands. As I stood there, Sawyer came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, gently rubbing all over my belly.
“I can’t wait till he or she is born.” He snaked his head around to kiss the side of my cheek.
“I can’t wait either.” I placed my hands on top of Sawyer’s as we basked in the moment.
I was so happy that he was happy. Him being ok about everything, allowed me to be.
Once Sawyer left out of the room to go get Sai’ dressed, I went to the closet and pulled out the matching shirts that we had made for me and him.
I had no idea what Merci had put together, but I trusted her. The only thing she told us was where to come.
As I put on my shirt, pants and a nice pair of heels, my phone rang and it was my mother.
She had been so excited since I had told her the other day. I just didn’t feel right keeping it from her and she began to wonder if she had done something, the reason why I had just all of a sudden stopped coming around.
“Hey Ma,” I answered as I strapped the clear strap around my ankle.
“Hey baby, how are you feeling? Something in my spirit told me to call and check on you.” She sounded a little worried.
“I’m good. I had a horrible nightmare, but I’m ok,” I let her know.
Sitting up, damn near out of breath, I walked back into the bathroom with the phone to my ear. I needed to do my makeup and curl my hair.
Sawyer told me that I could have booked a makeup artist and paid to get my hair done, but I didn’t want to go all out for my gender reveal. I wanted to save all of that for my baby shower that I was going to have when I was eight months.
Yes, eight months. Even though that seemed too late for some, I felt like it was just right for me.
“Make sure you keep praying before you go to sleep and stop falling asleep on your back Brynlee,” she fussed.
“Ok, Mom. Well let me finish getting dressed. I’ll talk to you at the gender reveal,” I let her know.
“Ok, baby. Can’t wait to find out.” She began to clap excitedly.
I quickly got off the phone and finished getting ready.
Pulling up to this nice venue, one would have thought that Sawyer and I were getting married here because of how big it was but of course, leave it to Merci to go all out, especially with Sawyer not giving her a spending limit.
When we pulled up there were way more cars than I expected but I had told my mother to invite all of our family, even though I hadn’t talked to some of them in years and Sawyer invited a lot of his people, even though I had only met his mom and dad.
However, I was excited to meet everyone. I was in a such a good space, that I knew today was going to be nothing but perfect.
Once Sawyer parked his Range Rover, he got out and helped me out first then got Sai’ out. We all had on matching shirts that said different things, that we coordinated with some all-white jeans. The boys had on matching Nikes and I had on some heels.
Now with all of us out of the car, Sawyer stood in the middle of us, holding both of our hands as we made our way to the entrance of the building.
Walking in my, mouth hit the floor, because the way Merci had put this together, you would have thought this was a damn reception. There were pink and blue balloons everywhere.
“She did so fucking good.” I turned towards Sawyer who was nodding his head in agreement as he looked around.
Sai’, on the other hand, was trying his hardest to pull away from him and go over to the candy bar, that was decorated with all different types of pink and blue candy.
“Welcome mommy and daddy to be.” Merci walked over wearing all white.
She said she had refused to wear any color because that would have given it up.
“I need y’all to go over there to the chalkboard and put a tally mark on which one you think you are having. So far, boy is in the lead.” She winked as she walked over to go mingle with more of the guests.
After we marked what we thought—I, of course, chose girl and Sawyer picked boy—we mingled with all of family.
It was such a great experience and his family was so amazing. They all welcomed me in with open arms, just as my family did to him.
My father had finally accepted him, but I felt like it took him longer to come around because he was a man that believed in tradition. He wanted me to be married before I had a baby which was why he was perfectly ok with Troy because he knew that marriage was on the table for us.
However, I wasn’t in a rush to be proposed to again, just to end up having to give the ring back because my man couldn’t keep his hands to himself, or his dick. So, I was very content with the rate we were moving.
“Let me go pee before we do the gender reveal,” I tapped Sawyer on the shoulder and told him.
Everyone was starting to gather around us, so that we could pull the string on this thing that was supposed to let us know.
Walking away from everyone, I wobbled to the bathroom, ready to take these damn heels off my feet. I burst through the bathroom door and entered a stall as I quickly tried to pull my pants down.
Ahh. I relaxed as I finally used the bathroom. When I was done, I washed my hands and placed them under the automatic dryer for them to dry.
Damping them on my pants, my phone began to ring so I rushed into my purse to get it. Without thinking, I answered the phone and for a second, the person on the other end just sat there.
“Hello,” I said into the phone. “Hello,” I repeated.
“Brynlee, before you hang up, this is Troy.” His voice pierced my ears and even though I thought ill feelings would come over me, it didn’t. Matter fact, I felt nothing.
“What Troy? I’m currently at my gender reveal. What do you want?” I let him know, really wanting to throw it in his face.
“That’s great. That’s why I was calling you. I’m sorry about what I did, and I know things between us will never be like it used to be but just know, I’m happy you’re happy,” he confessed and right when I was about to say something, the phone hung up.
Looking down at my phone confused, in barged Sawyer, with a crazy look on his face.
“Baby, you good? The hell you in here doin’?” he asked, concerned.
“Yeah, I’m ok,” I told him, sticking my phone into my purse.
He grabbed my hand and we walked back out to where the family was all gathered around.
“Ok, is everyone ready to see what the little one will be? Will it be a he or a she? On the count of three, pull your strings!” Merci yelled.
“One, two, three,” everyone counted and once they got to three, Sawyer and I pulled the strings as pink, fairy-like dust filled the air and sprinkled around us.
Never in my whole twenty-five years of living had I felt this type of way. My emotions were on ten, I was crying, and everyone was cheering. Sai’ could be heard saying “aw man” in the background as his daddy lifted me off of my feet and swung me around. He was way happier than I was.
He finally placed me on my feet and began to kiss me all over my face.
“Brynlee, I swear I love the fuck out of you girl, and I am so happy that you are giving me a little girl,” he expressed, grabbing my face between his massive hands.
“Listen, no matter what the fuck, that baby inside of you is mine, will always be mine and I can’t wait to raise her with you. I know you are going to be a bomb ass mother.” He looked me deep into my eyes, making sure I caught his drift.
I knew that even though in my mind I felt like I didn’t know who the father could be, in my heart, I felt like it was Sawyer. Just the way he was going about everything and the way that God had blessed me to make it this far in my pregnancy, let me know that I was headed down the right road, with the right person this time.
Crying, I tried to wipe the tears away as everyone watched us.
“I know,” I mumbled, and he kissed me again as the camera light flickered in our faces.
Sawyer
Months later…
Tonight, was the big night. I had never performed which such a big crowd, but lately God had been blessing a nigga abundantly. It was like shit had just been falling into my lap and I made sure to grab that shit and take off with it. If God was going to bless me with it, I would be a damn fool to let it pass me by.
“You ready my boy?” Luca came out on the stage as I looked out at the current empty seats.
“As ready as I will ever be.” I chuckled.
“You prayed for times like this,” he reminded me, and I nodded my head in agreement.
I had definitely prayed for this and I couldn’t wait until eight p.m. to get on the stage and rock the club out.
This wasn’t even my show. I was asked to perform by the rapper YG and I couldn’t say no.
We had linked up at a club one night and after spitting some shit, we exchanged numbers and he told me about his show and I couldn’t say no. Why would I?
Leaving off the stage, I went to the back where my dressing room was. I was going to chill out until it was time for me to go out and perform my hottest song, “Deserve it.”
“Merci twin cousins are fine as fuck,” Luca randomly stated as he looked down at his phone.
“Merci will never let you date one of them,” Grey looked up from his phone and told him.
“Man, you wilding.” I chuckled, grabbing a bottle of water out of the mini fridge and having a seat.
“Say man, y’all can settle down and shit but I’m trying to have boffum.” He burst out laughing at his own self which caused us to laugh and shake our heads.
“Good luck, Merci’s ass doesn’t play,” Grey added.
He and Merci had been doing really good. He had laced me up about how that hoe Zella tried to sabotage him and he had to check her ass. Which I was happy my nigga didn’t let her get in the way of his happiness, because Zella wasn’t shit.
I had just seen her the other day with some lame ass nigga. They were all cuddled up like they’d been together; however, that wasn’t my business and plus, why feed my nigga some shit about a broad he longer cared about?
While we sat there, an hour had passed, and I was now placing my chains around my neck because I’d be going up next.
Walking out of the dressing room, Greyson and Luca were right behind me.
I was headed to stand by the stage so that I could see how many people were there.
Peeking my head around, I viewed the stage as a male by the name of Rix stood on stage and got the crowd hype.
As I stood there, Grey came up and tapped me on the shoulder. “Aye bro, you got your phone?”
“Nah, I left in the dressing room. Why, what’s up?” I questioned as he held his phone to his ear.
“It’s Bryn. Merci says that she’s on her way to the hospital.” Grey’s face was etched with panic because he already knew how I was going to react to this.
“What the fuck you mean?” I questioned as I rushed past him and bust into the dressing room.
I snatched up my bag and my phone and my only concern was getting to my girl. I thanked God that I wasn’t out of town on so
me shit, or else this would have been tragic.
As I was leaving out, I bumped into YG. “You ready bro?”
Dapping him up, I shook my head no. “Man an emergency done came up. I think my girl done went into labor.”
Relieved that he understood, he let me know that he would still fuck with me the next time he was in town. Which was cool with me; shit, even if he didn’t it was cool. I hated that I had to miss this opportunity, but it was what it was. Brynlee and the health of our child was way more important right now.
Jumping in the car with Luca and Grey, I was doing at least a hundred trying to get to the hospital. Fuck the police. They would just have to chase my ass all the way there, all the way inside of the hospital, and they could take me to jail after I made sure everything was good with Brynlee.
The crazy thing was, she wasn’t even due yet. She still had a whole three weeks to go.
As I sped, I gripped the steering wheel tightly and sent one up there to God. I prayed that he covered her and that things went smoothly.
“This nigga is going to kill us,” Luca expressed as I swerved to the right, causing them to rock to the side.
I was on a mission right now and regardless, I knew I was going to get them there safely. Shit, in order to kill them I would have to kill myself, and that shit just wasn’t happening.
Finally pulling up to the hospital, I had Grey park the car when I hopped out. I wanted to run past the damn front desk and security guard, but I knew I had to check in.
Throwing my ID down, “Brynlee Millz,” I told her out of breath, as I moved my hands ordering her to hurry the fuck up and pull her name up and give me a stupid ass name tag.
Once she finally gave it to me, she buzzed and let me through the double doors. Taking long strides that led to me running, I came face to face to an elevator that I had to take up to labor and delivery.
Getting inside, I pressed the number three and leaned up against the wall and I tried to catch my breath. My heart was racing, and a nigga could feel the sweat forming on his forehead and the perspiration forming under my arms.
