“I agree.” I bit into my bottom lip and tried to ignore the pain in my stomach. This was not the right time for indigestion. “But I know how much they love each other.”
“Not everyone is cut out for marriage.” Alex arched an eyebrow. “Some people want nothing to do with it, but still live in a committed long-term relationship with their partner.”
“That’s true.” Samantha nodded. “I have plenty of friends who decided to skip the whole marriage thing, but their relationship is just as strong.”
“Still, I know it would break Blu’s heart to walk away from this. She loves AJ, and despite how nervous she is, underneath I think she really does want to marry him.” I looked back toward the door and hoped that I was right.
“I think you’re on to something, Hanna,” said Samantha. “I bet this isn’t about AJ or even marriage. I think it’s about Blu being afraid that she’s going to lose herself. We need to remind her of just how strong she is.”
“Yes, remind her that she’s a warrior.” Dawn smiled. “That’s a great idea.”
The door swung open and Dawn and I nearly fell into AJ’s arms.
“Ladies.” He cleared his throat.
“Sorry.” I blushed as I took a step back. “Is she okay?”
“I think so.” He glanced over his shoulder, then looked back to us. “She knows whatever decision she makes, she has my support. Just try to keep me up-to-date, alright?” He frowned as he slipped past us.
“Decision?” Noella winced. “She’s really thinking about not going through with this?”
“Just remember, AJ is right. It is her choice and no matter what she decides, she’s going to need us.” Alex glanced around at us. “Can we do that?”
We all nodded our agreement and then Callie spoke up.
“I’ve never been in a serious relationship—never even come close to marriage—so I can’t really step in her shoes or any of your shoes, but I can tell you that it would mean the world to me to just have someone with me as I tried to make a hard decision—to not feel alone. We don’t have to make this decision for her, we just need to make sure she knows she’s not making it alone.”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself.” Samantha nodded.
“Let’s get in there.” Zoe led the charge into the room.
Blu sat on the edge of the bed, her hands in her lap and her eyes squeezed shut.
“What am I thinking?” She sighed. “AJ is the best part of my life. Why would I even think about not wanting to marry him?”
I sat down beside her as my stomach clenched and a wave of pain rushed through me. I hoped I could be there for her the way she needed me to be.
Suddenly. I understood what she was feeling.
“Blu, you’re afraid.” I took her hand in mine.
“Maybe we should go get some lunch for everyone.” Alex put a hand on Callie’s shoulder.
I knew she was trying to make things more comfortable for Blu, who wasn’t one to express her emotions much in front of others.
“Yes, that sounds like a good idea.”
As they left the room, the rest of us surrounded Blu.
“Why should I be afraid?” She shook her head. “Isn’t that silly?”
Chapter 22
“No, it doesn’t make you silly at all.” I tightened my grasp on her hand. “Sometimes the best moments in life frighten us the most too. When I started dating Jake, I couldn’t even enjoy it because I was so sure he couldn’t possibly be attracted to me. When we talked about having a baby together, I was so nervous because I didn’t think something so wonderful could ever happen to me. Even now, with only a few weeks left to go, it’s hard for me to believe that soon I will have a precious little girl in my arms, a daughter of my own. I should be thrilled, but I’m also terrified.” I looked into her eyes. “We worry that anything good has the potential to be taken away and that can hurt, hurt more than we think we’re capable of handling. But AJ isn’t going anywhere, Blu. Whether you marry him today or not, he’s going to be part of your life.”
“You’re right.” She sniffled as she accepted some tissues from Zoe. “I am just scared. It seems so strange to be scared because I’m so happy.”
“Yes, it does, but it’s just temporary.”
“All of you know how long I had a crush on Max.” Samantha rolled her eyes and laughed a little. “I thought he could never look at me the way he looked at all the gorgeous women he dated. I was totally blind to the signs and the hints that he gave me that he was falling in love, not because I was stupid, but because it was just too good for me to believe. But sometimes things just are that good, Blu.”
“And it’s hard to trust.” Noella sighed as she rubbed Blu’s shoulder. “Especially if you’ve seen things go wrong before in your own life or someone else’s. It’s hard to trust that this future is yours for the taking. It’s been a struggle for me to accept that Wes is all in, that he loves me more than I ever imagined was possible. But here we are—all of us, living dreams that we never thought were possible.”
“Especially me.” Dawn slipped her hand in Blu’s free one and smiled. “Not that long ago I was certain my life would lead to nowhere. Now I have my own business and a man who adores me for who I am. But do you think when I first kissed him I saw any of this happening?”
“No.” Blu smiled. “No, you definitely didn’t.”
“I needed a lot of coaching.” Dawn laughed.
“And let’s not forget what I put Trent through.” Zoe raised an eyebrow. “I’ll be honest, I’m not sure where I stand on marriage, but I do know now that love is love, no matter what form it comes in, and if you have it, it’s best to hold on to it. Whatever choice you make Blu, we’ll support you, but don’t make it out of fear.”
“You’re a warrior princess, remember?” I smiled as I gave her hand another squeeze. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything.”
“Just like Zara!” Dawn cheered and the rest of our friends erupted into cheers as well.
“We’re your tribe, Blu.” I smiled as I looked into her eyes. “We’re always going to be there for you. And I think we all have a little Zara in us.” I laughed as I thought about the fictional character who had become a role model of sorts for us all at one time or another in our lives.
“A lot of Zara!” Samantha grinned. “Far more than we realize until we need her.”
“I’m not sure that I can ever be as brave and strong as Zara.” Blu shook her head.
I placed my hand on her chest and felt the steady pounding of her heartbeat.
“You already are, Blu, you always have been. Zara represents the strength that is inside of every woman and every little girl. We have so much power within us. We just need to remember that it belongs to us—and then let it flow.”
“Yes.” Blu suddenly smiled. “Yes, that’s exactly it. I’ve been thinking that getting married would take away my power, but it won’t! Nothing ever can as long as I let it flow.”
“You’ve got it.” Samantha gave her a warm hug. “Oh, Blu, you are a warrior.”
“And I’m getting married today!” She grinned as she stood up from the bed. “What are we all doing sitting around? There’s so much to do!”
“There she is.” I smiled to myself as I saw the Blu I knew resurface in my friend’s eyes. Her power didn’t just flow through her. It sparked and crackled.
As I stood up and my bladder screamed along with other parts of my body, I hoped that same power would get me through my last days of pregnancy and that I would find a way to share that knowledge with my little girl.
All at once a warm sensation flooded my chest and I knew exactly what her name should be.
Chapter 23
In the bustle of getting everything ready, I did my best to ignore my discomfort. I’d really overdone it the night before and I regretted it. I just hoped that by the time the ceremony came I’d be able to handle standing up for it.
Somewhere in the whirlwind of activities
, Jake managed to hunt me down with a cup of tea and an offer of a massage.
“Babe, are you doing okay?” He searched my eyes as I sat down for the first time in what seemed like forever.
“I’m fine—really excited for Blu.” I smiled as I took the cup of tea. “Thanks for this.”
“You look a little pale. Did you eat?”
“Yes, breakfast and lunch, actually.” I rubbed my stomach. “The lunch is still beating me up a bit. I’m looking forward to all this indigestion being over.”
“Don’t rush it.” He smiled and kissed my cheek.
“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one carrying around a sack of potatoes.” I winced. “Sorry, sweetie, I meant a sack of precious jewels.” I patted my stomach and laughed when I felt a solid kick in return. “I think she’s having as much fun as I am.”
“Good.” He kissed my stomach, then looked up at me. “If you need anything just let me know.”
“I will.” I kissed him, finished my tea, then headed for the beach, where the last-minute decorations were being set up. The winds had died down, the chairs were in place, and the sky had a marbled gray and blue texture that reminded me of Blu herself. To me, it was a perfect day for a wedding—not too hot, not too cold.
Once I was sure everything was in place, I glanced at my phone and realized how close we were to the ceremony. Guests were being ushered to their seats.
I hurried back up to Blu’s room and found Callie zipping up her dress.
“It didn’t fit.” Blu rolled her eyes.
“What?” I stared into the mirror at her reflection. “It looks perfect.”
“It just needed a few nips and tucks to make it perfect. Right, Zoe?” Callie flashed a smile at Zoe.
“Yes, don’t you like it better now, Blu?”
“Yes.” She smiled as she looked at herself. “Honestly, I never thought I could look this way. All of you have done such an amazing job helping me. I’m so lucky to have you.”
“Bride tribe group hug!” I laughed as we all gathered around her.
I’m not sure who started the chant, but once it started it got louder and louder. We didn’t even hear the knock on the door until we finally stopped.
“I’ll get it.” Dawn smoothed the skirt of her dress then opened the door. “Garrett.” She took a sharp breath in the same moment that he did.
“Wow, Dawn, you look stunning.”
“So do you.” She grinned.
“I just wanted to let you know that everyone is ready when you are.” He smiled.
“Great! Let’s get going!” I grabbed Blu’s train and we headed out the door.
As we lined up for the ceremony, I wondered if Blu would change her mind, but she didn’t.
When I walked down the aisle, my legs wobbled and I felt as if all the weight in my stomach had dropped a few inches just to make it extra difficult. I looked into Jake’s eyes as he waited at the end of the aisle with all of the other groomsmen and the sight of his smile kept me moving.
As I soaked up the loving words exchanged between Blu and AJ, my eyes filled with tears. I was so eager to watch their future unfold. I thought I might be the most excited person there.
When they leaned in to kiss, they were both so eager that they bumped noses, laughed, and then fell into a passionate embrace. It took the minister’s clearing his throat to remind them that they had an audience.
Everyone applauded as they walked back down the aisle. The wedding that we thought might not be had gone off without a hitch, and I couldn’t be happier for my friends.
Jake wrapped his arms around me, pulled me close for a sensual kiss, then looked into my eyes.
“I want you to know that you have made me the luckiest man on earth. Never forget that, okay?”
“Okay.” I smiled as I gazed back at him. “I can’t begin to explain how happy you’ve made me. I know I’ve been scared, I know I’ve been freaking out, but I want you to know that I’m so excited to meet our little girl—to start our lives as a family.”
“Me too.” He ran his hand across my stomach in a slow massage. “Hey there, baby girl, Daddy can’t wait to meet you.”
As we made our way from the hotel to the bar for the reception, I finally began to relax. We’d made it through the wedding with no disasters and now we could celebrate.
Chapter 24
The dazzle of the lights in the bar made me stumble a bit as I stepped in. Music already pounded through the speakers. Jake’s solid arm wrapped around my waist the moment he saw me wobble. That sensation made me smile, despite the woozy feeling that coursed through me.
The kids were already on the dance floor. Noella’s boys had one little girl each in hand and they sprinted across the floor in what could have been called a dance if they’d just slowed down a little bit. I couldn’t help but laugh as Tyler attempted to spin Lily and they both tumbled to the floor.
AJ and Blu hadn’t arrived yet. I knew they were taking a few extra pictures.
I noticed Dawn and Garrett close together at the edge of the dance floor. He had his hand wrapped around hers and her head leaned against his shoulder. My heart fluttered at the sight. I’d never seen my friend look happier. I could recall the many conversations we’d had about her never finding someone to share her life with, but everything had changed for her.
I looked down at my stomach and smiled. Everything was going to change soon for me as well. I’d felt a lot of fear before about actually becoming a mother but after the inspiring moments I’d shared with my friends before the wedding, that fear had faded. Now I was only excited.
“When we get home we should get on the baby-proofing, Jake. I mean we need to make sure all the outlets are blocked and—”
“We will.” He brought my hand to his lips. “I promise, we will. Now, how about you dance with me?” He grinned as he pulled me onto the dance floor.
I moved with the music until the dance floor was cleared for dinner to be served. We all gathered at our tables, then a spotlight shone on the table in the front.
“Welcome to the beautiful couple. Blu and AJ, congratulations to you both!” the DJ announced.
From a side door, AJ led Blu toward the table.
I could tell from the fluff of her hair and the blush in her cheeks that they’d taken a little extra time alone. It made me grin.
Once dinner was served, Blu made the rounds of all the tables to say hello to each of us. AJ got caught up in a conversation with some of his buddies.
“It was absolutely amazing, Blu.” I smiled as she leaned down to kiss my cheek.
“I couldn’t have done it without you, Hanna.”
“Without us, you mean.” I grinned.
“No, without you.” She looked into my eyes. “Yes, it’s great to have the whole gang, but you know me better than anyone and I’m so grateful that you made all the effort to be here. I know it hasn’t been easy for you and you were a little nervous about it, but honestly I don’t know if I would have made it without your support.”
“Nothing could have stopped me from being here.” I smiled. “Now get out there and dance with your husband.”
“Oh, he is waiting for me, isn’t he?” She spun around and walked toward AJ, who held his hand out to her in the middle of the dance floor. As their favorite song began to play, my eyes filled with tears. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t found the perfect present or that there’d been some bumps along the way. All that mattered was the two of them in one another’s arms now.
“I still remember our first dance.” Jake kissed my cheek.
“It wasn’t that long ago.” I smiled.
“No, it wasn’t.” He ran his hand along the curve of my stomach. “Pretty soon we’ll have someone new to dance with, but never forget that it all started because of the love we share. That’s something that will never change.”
“I won’t.” I slipped my hand into his. “I promise.”
As we turned our attention back to the dance floor, the
bridal party was invited to join in.
Jake helped me to my feet. The heaviness in my body made me want to sit right back down, but I didn’t want to turn him away. Instead, I let him lead me out onto the dance floor.
As we swayed to the music, I closed my eyes and pictured what it would be like the first night we brought our daughter home. We would all be nestled together, sharing the love and warmth we had between us.
I was certain that it would be perfect.
Chapter 25
I did my best to enjoy the reception, but as the night wore on, I felt more and more sore and exhausted. In fact, by the time I was able to sit down, my first thought was of curling up and going to sleep. The last thing I wanted to do was leave the reception early. Many people had left but most of the close friends and family were still there, dancing and pouring glasses of wine.
“I can see you need a rest, sweetheart.” Jake kissed my forehead then ran his hand back through my hair. “Remember the doctor said to get plenty of rest.”
“I remember.” I smiled.
“I’ll get you something to drink. I’ll just be a second.” When he turned toward the bar and saw the crowd around it, he glanced back. “Okay, it may take more than a second.”
“That’s alright.” I laughed. “I’m not going anywhere.”
As I eased back in the chair, I was breathless, not just because of all the dancing, but because of the sight that spread out before me. All my closest friends were out on the dance floor, having a wonderful time.
Callie had her choice of men to dance with and it looked like she was enjoying playing the field. Zoe and Trent were locked in a sensual embrace, which didn’t seem to change, no matter what song was on. Alex and Philip seemed to be competing for who would take the lead, but their laughter reached my ears. Noella and Wes spun slowly on one end of the dance floor, never too far from Tyler and Brady, who’d joined a small group of children in a card game.
As I watched Wes stroke Noella’s cheek, I felt that familiar prickle coast over my nerves. I wanted to protect her so badly. She’d been hurt once and I hoped that I could prevent that from ever happening again. But I could see in the gentleness of his touch and the curve of his hand along her back that his only intention was to love her—not just her, but her two sons as well. A newfound sense of trust washed over me as I began to see Noella’s future with Wes. She deserved to be as happy as he seemed determined to make her.
Then Comes Marriage Page 8
