“I’ve just been going back over things, in detail. I’m trying to figure out what they want with you, before they make their move.”
Makes sense.
“Luca came by today, looking for you.”
I whirl to face him. “To see me? Why would he come to your place for that?” Had Luca somehow figured out what we’d been doing, and was going to run back to Nyler with the information?
“I can see your wheels turning. Stop. He tried the observatory and mess hall first, but said he couldn’t find you at either, so he came to me.” He says it so nonchalantly, like it isn’t a big deal Luca - Nyler’s son, Luca - knows I’ve been hanging out with Cade. “Saedie, he has no way of knowing who and what I am. You don’t need to worry.”
“Why did he want to see me, did he say?”
“No, but I’m guessing he’s trying to figure out where the two of you stand after his revelation.”
Not on solid ground, that’s for sure. My ‘crush’ - yeah, we’ll call it that - on Luca still burns, but I haven’t stoked those flames in a long damn time it feels like. I’m not sure I want to. What I have here with Cade… it may not be dating, but the line between professional and personal has begun to blur — I find I want it gone altogether.
But how can I have feelings for two men at once? Doesn’t that make me no better than The Incubator?
“I don’t believe him to be a bad person, Saedie. I think he was young, deluded in his imaginings and a bit naive, when he sought out Nyler. I’d hazard to say he’s since learned things about the man that have turned him away from those childish notions.”
“You may be right, but that doesn’t mean we trust him blindly.”
“Of course not,” is his quick retort. “I’m a better strategist than that, Sunshine.”
At least we’re on the same page there.
On impulse, I throw out, “Want to go to dinner with me?”
His handsome face shuts down, and I just know he’s about to rebuff me. I totally read into things. He’s just been kind, a good friend. That kiss didn’t mean as much to him as it did me.
Not waiting for his reply, I call out a hasty ‘never mind’ and make my retreat, exiting the apartment on speed-mode.
People have that, right? Totally not in the substance abuse form of the word.
It’s not until I’m halfway home that I get the sensation of being watched, hairs at the back of my neck standing on end. There’s malicious intent riding the air and, as silly as it sounds, I can feel that whoever is stalking my steps isn’t doing it out of fun.
Picking up my pace, I shoot repeated glances into the shadows around me, trying to place the interloper in my trek.
Nothing.
Whoever it is knows how to stay out of sight. But I know they’re there.
Reaching around, making sure to conceal the movement in the thickness of my sweater, I slide the blade Cade gifted me free from its holder.
Took me forever to master the move without nicking myself.
Boots sound on the concrete behind me, ringing loudly in my over-sensitive ears, but I keep a steady pace, pretending not to hear. As they grow closer, I prepare to lash out — I’m not going down without a fight!
Up ahead, light leaches out onto the steps of the astrology building with the opening of a door, the brightness flashes over the surrounding area, but my eyes are on Luca where he stands framed in the glow.
Despite the halo behind him, I’m able to make out his guarded expression. Face set in stone, his lips pressed into a thin line, he glares at someone over my shoulder. I swiftly twist to see who he’s looking at, but they’ve already disappeared. If the day wasn’t so fucking overcast with storm clouds I may have been able to see where they went. As it stands, the sun is hidden behind thick walls of dark gray fluff, making the day nearly dark as night.
I discreetly stow my blade once more, keeping it out of Luca’s view.
Really fucking want a chance to use you soon, my precious.
Tabling the violent thought, I take a minute to stare up at the sky as the clouds swirl haphazardly above me. It’s been a long time since a storm has graced the area. In fact, I don’t think we’ve had one since ODR first struck.
That could prove to be a problem.
It’s sometimes easy to forget what’s going on outside the walls of The Compound. That there are people turned into what would equate to zombies in old dystopian thrillers out there, running around doing who knows what right now.
I pray the onyx sky isn’t an omen of what’s to come. Humanity can’t handle another wave of the Outbreak. It just can’t.
Luca is waiting patiently for me at the door to usher me inside. Once it clangs closed behind us, I get my first good look at his tense face. His lip and eye are nearly healed, though it’s only been a short time, and the bruising along his jawline is yellowing out to an interesting straw shade. His complexion is like mixing different play-dough colors together and smashing it all up.
Not his best look, but he’s still attractive — no doubt about it.
“You shouldn’t go around The Compound by yourself anymore, New Girl.”
“I can take care of myself, thank you. And stop calling me New Girl. I’m not new, and I have a name… you know it well.” I retort. “You were looking for me?”
He guides me down the hall as he speaks, heading to my room. I allow him to think he’s in charge for the moment. “I need to know what you’re planning to do with the information I gave you.” He says hurriedly, producing a key and fitting it into a gleaming new handle on the observatory door.
“Where the hell did that come from?” I question as we shuffle into the cavernous space.
“I got it for you. It has a stronger lock and deadbolt and you need it. Switched them out this morning — but that isn’t the point.” Pacing back and forth across the room, he’s clearly agitated. “Are you going to tell Nyler who I am?” He presses.
Exasperated, I huff, turning away from him. Grabbing a rubber band up from the floor, I use both hands to twirl my hair into a bun at the base of my neck, tying it off before giving him my attention once more.
“Why would I tell him anything about you, Luca? When do he and I even talk?” Uneasiness enters his eyes, and I know he’s been privy to information I don’t yet have. “Just spit it out.”
I’m not deliberately being rude, but damn, just being in the same room with him is stirring up feelings I don’t want to have. I need him to leave before I act on them… I may be pissed at him for his deception, but I don’t disagree with Cade’s assessment. I think Luca’s a good guy at heart, enmeshed in a shitty situation there aren’t many ways out of, unless he wants to brave the Zerks on his own. I just don’t know yet whether he’s here for his own gain, or for altruistic reasons.
“Because I haven’t been the best person to you. You have no loyalty to me, and I understand that. I just need to know your next step so I have time to prepare.” He looks defeated, and I find I don’t like that expression on him. “If you’re going to share with him that he has a twenty-five-year-old son, shacked up underneath his very own ‘roof’, I want to have time to be long gone from here when he comes calling.”
Perplexed by his words, even though I can see myself wanting the same thing were I in his shoes, I wave him into a seat across the room, letting him sweat out my reply as I make myself comfortable on the pillow pallet nearby.
“Answer me this, if you will…. Why don’t you want the man you jumped continents, and left your family for, to know who you are?”
He contemplates his response before speaking, and I can only hope it’s to come up with a more cohesive reason, and he’s not formulating a lie to pull me in.
“Saedie…” He pauses, and I realize he wants me to look at him. I can give him that. “I despise the man that is my biological father. I cannot fathom how I could ever be related to him — how my mum got swept up in his web in the first place. He is a despicable human being, doing terr
ible things to those he calls Pures and professes wanting to preserve.”
“… Go on.”
“He… Look, I could be killed for telling you this, but I’m going to trust you. Please don’t make me regret it.” I nod and he continues. “Robert is performing experiments on people here at the compound. Mostly the elderly, or those he doesn’t think will be missed. So far, no one with a family has been selected — until you.” Not even giving me time to process that tidbit, he goes on, “They’re all behind it, Atlas, but he’s the head of the serpent. The one calling the shots…. I won’t be a part of it any longer.”
Digesting his fast-spoken words, I feel a sick satisfaction at finally hearing someone other than me or Cade talk out loud about Nyler and his wickedness. It’s validating my suspicions tenfold.
“What type of experiments, Luca?” I need to know. I already fully believe Gladys was one of his victims, but I need to know exactly what happened to her in his lair.
“They’re injecting Pures with DNA pulled from an outside source. Trying to configure an ‘enhanced human race’ with only the beneficial factors cherry-picked from the outsider’s makeup. They’ve been trying for months to create their version of the ‘perfect human being.’ So many people have died, tortured to death by the effects of the serum. And I …. I just can’t do it anymore.”
There’s no point it fighting it when my stomach roils in protest, giving me a few seconds warning to dash across the room and spew my guts up in the wastebasket. Luca is at my side in no time, sweeping the unruly hair that’s slipped from my bun up and away from my face, keeping it out of the muck.
“Shit, I’m so sorry, Saedie. I didn’t know telling you would cause such a visceral reaction.”
He sounds genuinely contrite as I plop my ass down on the cold floor next to him, breathing through my mouth to avoid the smell of vomit getting stuck in my nose.
“You helped him, them, to do these things?” The question comes out a whisper, and I know he can hear the disgust behind it.
“Not willingly, I swear!” He launches into a fevered tirade, trying to help - no, make - me understand.
“My mum passed on a few years ago, but my dad, the man who raised me, is still alive. He came to the U.S. not long after I did. I assume he wanted to talk some sense into me, maybe drag me back to England, but I haven’t heard from him since ODR.” Huffing in exertion at the effort of getting all of the words out in one long-winded breath, he continues, “Robert knows where he is. There’s — look, you can’t tell anyone this, but…. There is another safe haven, not too far from here, where Robert claims my dad has taken refuge. Robert threatened to blow the property away, with Jake inside, if I didn’t go along with his scheming.
“He’d do it, too, Saedie. He has the materials, and the lack of remorse, to do anything he fucking wants. No matter how despicable.” There are tears glistening in his blue gaze, turning the irises an indigo hue. “Robert has threatened most of the experiment participants into caving to his will, in one form or another. It’s not just me.”
“But now you want out.” I’m only capable of saying a few words before I feel like I want to vomit again, but I shove it down.
He half reaches for me, seeing the queasy look on my face, but I hold up a hand to stop him. “You want out now, right?” I repeat.
Sitting back, he props his arms up on his knees, one hand clasping the other wrist. “Yes, Saedie. I want out. But leaving Atlas isn’t a walk in the park — the last person that tried ended up as a test subject.”
Information overload. Shit.
“So what’s your plan, Luca? How are you going to leave this den of vipers you’ve fallen into?”
Desperation races across his face. “I have no clue.”
◆◆◆
After calming down and re-locating to a more comfortable spot, Luca and I are sitting across from each other as I listen to him detail everything he’s been made to do since joining up with Nyler and Atlas.
Much of it is things I already suspected, after what I witnessed in the furnace room. But hearing how they’d picked Gladys as a subject, stolen her out of her bed in the middle of the night, sedated, and kept her in their lab for over a week? Injecting her with serum after serum, trying to force a change to her genetic makeup that instead killed her slowly and excruciatingly? Yeah, that’s fucking me up a bit.
Luca refuses to go into detail about the lab, where it’s located, or who all are members of Atlas. He doesn’t want me to have enough information to get me into trouble - or so he claims.
I’m tempted to go get Cade and let him analyze everything Luca’s saying. Very tempted. But I don’t want Luca to know Cade and I were already privy to some of the things he was keeping mum about.
I want to believe he’s ready to jump ship - wash his hands of Nyler if you will - but a larger part of me is rightfully suspicious.
The way he’s treated me for months… I don’t know. It makes it harder for me to trust the words he’s spewing now.
Did I think he was being honest about the lab, experiments and Nyler’s wickedness? No doubt. Only, I wasn’t clear on his motives.
What if he’s telling me this as an elaborate way to earn my trust, then take me back to Nyler like some prize trophy?
Luca already disclosed that I’m on some list of Atlas’s. It would make sense, in a way, if they think the happenings with The Incubator are forcing me into isolation. I admittedly don’t have many friends. Kenji, maybe. Cade, definitely. But my current family dynamics put me in a prime place for pickings of those who won’t be missed.
“….and then they just burn them. Once their bodies finally give up.” I tune back in to Luca’s continued storytelling, heart lurching at his last words. The way Gladys looked as her body bubbled and turned to ash… the stench of it. I’ll never forget.
“How many people have they taken?” I ask. If he says twenty-seven, I’ll know the documents we found are exactly what I believe them to be.
“As of yesterday? Seventy-three.”
I choke on my own spit. “Are you… is that number accurate?”
He gives me an odd look, “By my count, and the lab documentation, yes.”
Holy fuck! So many lives….
“What happened yesterday?”
Luca breaks eye contact before responding, and I brace myself. “Atlas brought in another wave of subjects. Six new people.”
Leaping up, I pace across the room, spinning to punch a metal cabinet in a fit of rage.
Six freaking people that would be safe right now if I’d made my move faster. Fecking hell, what have I done?
“Hey! Stop, Saedie, you’re hurting yourself.” Luca calls urgently. He dashes across the room to my side but I flinch away, feeling only the slightest bit of guilt at the look on his face when I do.
I hadn’t realized I continued to hit the offending piece of furniture after that initial punch, but as I glance down at the abused appendage, sweeping unruly curls out of the way so I can see - I don’t even know where the tie went, it must have fallen out at some point during my antics - I note he’s right on the money. I’ve split almost every knuckle on my right hand, save the thumb, and the fresh tears are weeping blood onto the floor.
I can just barely hear the plink of the drops over the persistent whooshing sound in my ears.
Should I care?
I don’t feel it — the pain.
What’s a little blood compared to all the lives being sacrificed in some sick man’s quest for an unattainable goal? Enhanced humans…. Fat chance.
Swiping a t-shirt from the floor, Luca halts my frenzied pacing and sounds return to me all in a rush. Gripping the shirt at the seam he rips it into long strips, muscles bulging, and begins to wrap my hand, careful not to jostle it too much.
“Hey! I liked that shirt!”
“Hush.”
Twat.
When he’s finished, I look up from under my tangled mess of hair to find him staring at me int
ently. I get the feeling his thoughts are a long way off from the conversation we were having mere minutes ago, or his playing doctor. The stirrings of want lace through me despite the despicable words from his story still floating in the air around us and I’m quick to pommel that shit down hard.
Breaking away from him I turn to face the wall and get my erratic breathing under control, staunchly refusing to feel the chagrin pushing to the forefront of my emotions. He can’t come in here, spew every deplorable action Nyler is committing at me like that, then expect me to jump into his arms.
Not gonna happen, Lucy-loo. Sorry.
Keeping my back to him, I mutter a few choice words under my breath as pain starts to register in my hand. Blood is seeping through the thin dark gray fabric, turning it a deep umber.
Stupid move, self. How immature.
“You should get some ice on those.” He says softly, throwing my words from the other day back at me.
“Maybe later.”
I hear him moving around behind me, but I don’t turn to see what he’s doing. If I look at him now, I don’t think I’ll be capable of hiding my distaste. Not only at him, but at myself, for feeling anything other than disgust after what I’ve just learned. Lust shouldn’t have come into play at all.
“I’m going to head out. I don’t have a foolproof plan on how to leave yet, and the Zerks have been getting closer and closer to The Compound… but if you want to help me brainstorm - maybe even come with me - I’d gladly welcome the company.”
The face of the girl in his apartment flashes before my eyes, and I find myself asking, “What about her?”
I’ve given him no context at all, but he automatically knows who I mean. “She’s no one. Just somebody Atlas thought would help me pass the nights and forget about my dad for a while.”
Cringing, I bite my tongue. He doesn’t need to know what I think of how that sounded. Callous and egotistical. She may be no one to him, but that girl has feelings for him, I know it. I could see it in her eyes the day she came to find him at the door with me.
“I’ll think about it. Be safe, Luca.”
Atlas (Apocalyptic Cries Book 1) Page 14
