Kenj and Cade both know I’m out, since they’re waiting for me in my room, so for them to send me something it must be important.
Smiling at the cooks, I gather the rest of our food and quickly leave the room, exiting out onto the commons instead of into the hallway on the opposite side.
When I’m far enough away from the building, I duck around a corner and set down the food, checking to see what must be so important they’d text me knowing someone could find out.
Cade: Luca is here. Get back ASAP.
Ah. Well… Here we go.
Me: On my way.
Hauling the goodies back into my arms, I make quick steps toward the Observatory. If Luca’s there with Cade, I can only guess what they’re getting up to. Probably not anything good.
CHAPTER 26
Nothing. They’re doing absolutely nothing when I rush through the door, almost dropping the food in my hurry.
They’re both sitting motionless, neither saying a word. Cade is turned sideways in a seat, facing Luca with a blank face. One row behind, Luca’s giving nothing back, his blue eyes unblinking as they stare at each other.
Men.
At the last second, as I swing the door closed behind me, one of the cans of soup rolls out of my arms and crashes to the floor — they break their stare-off and turn to look at me. I now have the attention of two not very happy men all on me. Yippee.
“What’s going on? You already have everything, Luca?” I dump the rest of our meal on a counter as I talk, picking up the can once my hands are free and placing it with everything else. If Luca is curious at the large haul, he doesn’t question it. He still isn’t aware of Kenji’s involvement in our plan, and we want to keep it that way. Let’s hope he chalks up the extra rations to Cade being a big man with a large appetite.
Where is Kenji? She was here when I left.
When no one jumps to respond like an adult, I want to roll my eyes. Instead I turn to Cade, silently imploring him to fill me in. He doesn’t disappoint.
“This isn’t about the mission, at least not entirely. It’s about Morgan.” And with those words, I want to turn and skedaddle right back out the door. Or better yet, let a mini-earthquake hit and swallow me up so I don’t have to participate in this conversation.
“What about her?” I know Cade won’t have mentioned the possible relation Luca has to her, so what’s she done now?
Luca pipes up, annoyance at the ready. His gaze briefly flicks over the ugly bruise I’d tried to hide with my hair earlier, but he doesn’t comment on it. “She’s gone to Robert and accused me of cheating on her. Blabbed about me spending less time than usual at the dorm with her; that I’ve ‘been distracted’ lately and not myself.” He grimaces up at the ceiling before bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes in exasperation. “Most of which is due to my efforts at collecting intel. She’s making things bloody difficult.”
Bitch. “What hold does she have over Nyler that he’d listen to her accusations?” I’m fishing, I know, but I want to see if she’s hinted at a relationship to the horrible man with Luca.
“None that I’m aware of, other than he’s the one that sent her to me. This is her version of reporting back.” Not ideal, but also not a reveal that could get Luca’s head out of the game at the moment.
Cade gives Luca the side-eye. “How do you know what she reported? Aren’t you supposed to be in the dark about her spying?”
Scoffing, Luca brushes off Cade’s suspicious tone. “They know I’m aware of the arrangement. I just never cared before Saedie.” I swear my heart stops beating.
Fuck. He’s never said anything outright to Cade before about me. Please don’t let this get stupid.
“Never cared…” I need him to finish that thought.
“About being distracted. Once I met you, it was different. I know I used Morgan, and I admit, I’m sometimes weak and still do.” Well jeez, that’s adorable… Not. “But it’s not like I’ve ever cared for her, and she knows that. I think she sees you as a threat. She has to notice I’ve been around you more.”
“Yeah.” That’s it. If I keep up with this conversation I’ll end up telling Luca about her claims, and that’s not where we need his head at right now. “So how did you know she tattled?” I bring him back on topic.
“Robert approached me. Asked if everything was going well. He wanted to know if she wasn’t satisfying me anymore, and if he needed to have her get with a few of the more ‘open’ ladies on The Compound to learn some new ‘tricks’.” That’s fucking appalling. One, that he would speak about his alleged daughter that way, and two because apparently there are hookers here. I mean, I guess that makes sense - and I’m not judging - everyone had lives before. But to send his ‘daughter’ to learn new sex moves from them? What is this, the eighteen hundreds? Gross.
“So why are you here, telling us this?” Cade wants to know.
“I….” Looking back and forth between the two of us, I can tell Luca has something he wants to say, but isn’t sure of how to. I wait. “Mind if I speak to Saedie alone, man? I didn’t really expect you to be here when I showed up.”
This is some daytime drama shite. “Whatever you have to say to me can be said in front of Cade.”
Luca doesn’t give, even a little. Instead he does the one thing I won’t turn down, being the semi-decent person that I am… He asks politely. “Please? Only for a few minutes.”
I look to Cade, non-verbally asking him what he thinks. I’m not asking permission, I’m not some trained pony, but I do respect his opinion and value his input. We’re in a relationship, so to speak, so I’m making the effort to allow him his say. He offers me a small nod, then gives me a kiss on the cheek as he passes on the way out of the room.
“I’ve got something I need to check on anyway. I’ll be back in fifteen.” Then he’s gone, and I’m alone with the man I’ve decided does nothing for me any longer.
Not that he knows that — yet.
“What did you need to tell me that Cade can’t be privy to? That’s kind of low, Luca. You know we’re together.” My chastisement doesn’t hit home like I want, but at least I’ve stated, aloud, my annoyance at his insistence. Maybe he’ll take the hint.
It takes less than thirty seconds for that hope to dwindle.
Luca hops up from his seat as soon as I’m done speaking, stalking over to me where I’m glued to the floor after walking Cade out. There’s an intense look in his cerulean gaze that has me wanting to run out to the hall and call Cade back. When he’s inches away, he finally stops, breaths heaving in and out of his chest like he’s jogged the distance instead of walked.
When he reaches out to touch me, I take a step back and out of range. The hurt that washes over him almost makes me feel guilty, but I won’t allow it. This man flat out confessed to using a woman for her body, while supposedly in love with me, and insisted I leave everyone here to die at Nyler’s hands. Not in as many words, but still.
I don’t even find him attractive anymore — when did that happen? Probably around the same time his cowardice started showing.
Dropping his hand to his side, he sighs. “I wanted to ask if you’ve thought about what I said. About… Us. I haven’t changed my mind.”
It’s not like I forgot he offered to have a threesome with me and Cade — how could I? — but it hasn’t exactly been at the forefront of my thinking lately. Other things have held precedence, as they should; I tell him the truth, “I haven’t.” Before he can say anything, I continue. “But I already know my answer, and it’s ‘no’. I’m not that type of girl, Luca — and I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression I was. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you as a friend.”
Oi, I totally just friend-zoned him without meaning to. I want to cringe and take the words back, but hold to my resolve. If he thinks I’m wavering he might take that to mean he still has a shot. He doesn’t.
“A friend.” His tone is snide - rude. One I’ve never heard before. “I tell you I�
��m willing to go against all of my instincts and share you with a man I despise, and you stand here saying you only care about me ‘as a friend’?” He whips around, storming across the room to knock some books down from where they’d been neatly stacked against a wall.
“What does he have that I don’t, Saed?!” He’s yelling, and I don’t appreciate it one bit. His childishness is showing, and it ain’t pretty. But we need his help, so with that in mind, I try and calm him down.
“Luca, please. Is being my friend so bad? You knew I was a virgin, with barely any worldly experience, and you came at me asking for a ménage? What did you think I would say?”
He turns wild eyes on me, and I take another step back even though he’s all the way across the room. Does mental illness run in families? Nyler, then Morgan, and now Luca? Might be something I need to research.
So much for de-escalating the situation. Heh.
“I love you, Saedie! I’ve never told another woman that before and meant it.” Charming. “And you want to act like my words mean nothing to you? That you didn’t feel anything when we made out? You didn’t recognize the spark between us?” He’s huffing so hard with his words I’d be concerned for his health if I hadn’t seen firsthand how good of shape he’s in.
“Yes, Luca, I did feel it all.” No use denying it — I’m not an outright liar. “But that doesn’t mean feelings can’t change. Back then I didn’t know you were engaged, and I was an emotional mess after my dad’s death. I needed someone to hold me up, and you did. You did that, and I’m so happy you were there for me then, just like you are now, even though I know you’d rather be halfway across what’s left of the country. Please understand though, I no longer have those desires; I’m not the same broken girl.”
He closes some of the distance between us, hands raised in a pleading gesture. “I know you’re not. I can see that. It’s only made me lo—”
I cut him off, not letting him profess his love again. “I love Cade!” It’s practically a shout. You could hear a pin drop in the silence afterward.
We’re both breathing heavy now, caught up in the moment as we are. I take a deep breath, trying to slow my heartbeat. I hadn’t meant to declare my love for Cade to Luca - I’m not a bitch - but it just came out. Frustration flows through me for telling Luca of my feelings before I’ve even said the words to Cade himself.
I stubbornly refuse to take them back though as I wait for the fallout. The ball is in Luca’s court.
I may have just ruined all our plans with three little words.
“You love him, or you’re in love with him?” Luca whispers, all the fight leaving his voice like it was never there to begin with. He’s deflating before my eyes, and I’m ashamed to admit I feel relief at the sight. He’s not going to fight me on this.
“In love with him, Luca. I’m so deeply in love with him. I’m sorry if that hurts you.” My words are sincere, I am sorry if my feelings for another man hurt the one who was there for me first. But I can’t change how I feel. I don’t want to.
He turns his back on me, gathering up his scattered thoughts. It takes a while, and I swear I see his shoulders shake a few times.
Is he crying? Surely not.
As his upper body starts to shudder in earnest, I can’t take it anymore. Approaching him with the intent to console, I almost stumble over my own feet when I see he isn’t crippled by tears at all. This mother fucker is laughing!
What the what now?
“Um, Luca, are you…” I’m not sure what to ask: Are you okay? Are you having a fit? Do I need to call someone? I settle for asking if he’s alright, to which he just shakes his head and laughs harder. I wait, watching him unravel before my eyes.
At least that’s what I assume is happening, anyhow. This definitely isn’t normal for him.
When the humor finally leaves his body, he slumps his substantial frame into a seat and slowly catches his breath. Still, I watch. I’m not sure now is the best time to be approaching him.
“Want to tell me what that little show was about?” The question is serious, but I keep my tone light, not wanting to set him off again.
He begins to speak, but a small chuckle escapes instead. Clearing his throat, he gets himself under control. “It’s just that… all this time, I’ve been pinning every single bit of my hope on you being the one to save me from the mess I’ve made of my life. As it turns out — you are. But not in the way I imagined. You’re going to save us all.”
I’m equal parts relieved, confused and uncomfortable with his statement. I’m no hero — I’m not looking for recognition of my ‘good deeds’. I simply can’t stand torture and injustice, and I won’t sit by and let them happen all the while knowing what’s going on underneath our very feet.
Metaphorically, anyway.
Propping myself up against the wall across the way from him, I cross one foot over the other and give him a ‘come on, be real’ look. “That makes no sense as to why you just had a fit of hysterics in the middle of my veritable living room.”
“It was either laugh or cry, Saed. No one sees me cry.” And that’s the best answer I’m going to get, because at that moment Cade comes back through the door, duffel bag in tow.
Staking a claim there, sir?
Luca’s attention diverts from me to the hulking man striding across the room to my side. There’s sadness in the tilt of his lips, but maybe even a hint of acceptance, too. “I can see where I stand now.” He says softly as Cade plants a greeting kiss on my brow. “I won’t overstep again, but please don’t seek me out in the days to come unless it’s urgently vital to the mission. I’ll let you know when I have what we need.” He stands up to his full height, hands going behind his back in a military-like stance. He’s all professional now. Is that good or bad? “I’m being watched and so are you, Saedie. Don’t forget.”
With those ominous words thrown out into the universe, he turns on his heel and leaves, giving Cade a nod on his way that says ‘I see you, and I’m not getting in your way any longer.’ I’m not mad at that.
One less thing to be concerned about.
◆◆◆
Kenji, it turns out, had been hiding in the stairwell through the entire tirade with Luca. She was completely non-judgmental when she snuck out - startling the fuck out of me - to give me a hug once the door closed behind him. She only stayed for a few minutes after that, wanting to give Cade and I time to chat.
As soon as we were alone, I rehashed everything Luca said with Cade so that he’s fully aware of the situation. He was more pissed than I’ve ever seen him when I mentioned Luca’s proposition of sharing me. I didn’t mind the possessive way he showed me how I’m his, and only his, afterward though… That was fun.
Now it’s late evening and we’re settled down in the Observatory with a book planted directly in front of each of our faces. His is on perfecting strategy, and I’ve got to wonder where he managed to find it - maybe he brought it with him actually. I’m polishing off the final chapters on the fucking epic royalty novel. It’s going to bug me to no end, not knowing how the trilogy concludes.
We’re both startled out of our musings when a loud pounding sounds at the door. I look at Cade, questioning. He shakes his head; he doesn’t know who it is. Quicker than it should be possible, he pulls a gun out of nowhere and points it at the door, hastily getting to his feet.
Does he have weapons stashed in my pillows?! Not the time, not the time.
Gesturing for me to wait where I am, he hands me my knife on his way across the pallet, attention firmly sealed to the door.
There’s no peephole, so when he arrives at the surface, he ducks down, peeking through the minuscule crack at the bottom to get an idea of who’s out there. Whatever he sees has him jumping to his feet, excitement lacing every move.
When he tucks his gun into the holster at his side and swings open the door with gusto, I take that as my cue to stow my own weapon.
Cade’s form disappears into the hallway and a
ll I can hear is a loud slapping sound, repeated over and over. Leaping to my feet, I stride across the room as quickly as my short legs will carry me. Sometimes being short is amazing, other times - like these - not so much.
“Cade, what’s —” I stop, the words catching in my throat. Three unknown men are gathered outside my door, the farthest of which is being released from Cade’s embrace as I step into view. Tucked all the way at the back of the group is Kenji, a giant smile gracing her beautiful face.
“These guys decided to show up a bit early. I got the message and didn’t have time to send anything across before they needed help getting in. Sorry to just show up unannounced.” She doesn’t look sorry at all. She’s the cat who ate the canary at the moment, and she’s eying up one of Cade’s companions like she wants to eat him. The guy doesn’t seem to notice — or care rather.
“Uhhh….” So eloquent, but it’s all I’ve got. Their early arrival is so completely unexpected I have no clue what to say to them. Instead of trying to hash it all out in the hall though, I gesture the five of them - Cade included - into the room behind me and out of view of anyone who may be lurking in the building.
It’s not likely there’s someone about at this time of night, but Luca did warn I’m being watched. You never know.
As the lot of them shuffle past, I catch Kenji’s arm, stalling her at the door. “Were you followed?”
Her curls bounce as she shakes her head, a smile still tugging at the corners of her lips. “Nope.” She says, popping the ‘p’. “I made sure. We’re good. They’re hot.” She adds cheekily.
Reassured we won’t be having an Atlas party raid our quarters tonight, I release her arm, harrumphing all the while. “Sure.” Is all she gets from me. I only have my sights set on one man and that won’t be changing anytime soon.
Atlas (Apocalyptic Cries Book 1) Page 26
