by Melanie
"Are they going to be okay?"
"We don't know yet."
Eyes turned inward, B'Elanna blanched. "Tom was nearly dying and we were...."
Kathryn moved to take the shaken B'Elanna in her arms.
Seemingly not seeing the other woman, the half-Klingon turned back and raced for the turbolift before anyone could stop her.
Chakotay lay a comforting hand on the Captain's shoulder as they turned to the Ops Officer.
Harry Kim was almost as pale and distraught as the Chief Engineer.
"Harry-" Kathryn began.
He shook his head and opened his mouth to interrupt. No sounds were heard. One had to know what one was going to say in order to form words. Harry Kim had no idea what to say. How did one explain that while his best friend was fighting for his life, he had been kissing said best friend's girl?
Harry felt sick to his stomach. Before he disgraced himself in front of his Captain and Commander, he ran for the turbolift.
Kathryn turned to Chakotay, confused. The big man mutely shrugged. He did not understand what was going on himself.
-------
'Oh, Paris, what have you done to yourself this time?' Tom asked himself.
Every centimeter of his body hurt.
Equally.
He thought for a moment.
Not equally.
Yes, his head did indeed feel worse than the rest of him. Now why was that then?
His scrambled brains tried to unscramble themselves to work out the answer to the question. They were finding it a tough go when out of nowhere a voice supplied the answer for them.
'We were in a cave in, Mr. Paris.'
'I've finally gone insane,' Tom decided. 'And about damned time, too.'
'You are not insane,' the voice denied.
'Oh, sure, *you're* going to say that, now aren't you?'
'If you can wonder about whether you are sane or not, you are still, at least in part, sane.'
'Oh, that's deep.'
'Mr. Paris, we were in a cave in. I transferred my katra to you. Remember?'
Tom mentally frowned. 'Why did that sound familiar?'
'Because it is what happened.'
Slowly, everything started to come back to Tom.
The cave in.
Tuvok's injuries.
His unspoken request.
Tom's agreeing to that request.
Finally the little voice in Tom's head that had been stifled at the time spoke the reason why it was not such a good idea for Tuvok to be in Tom's head.
The Vulcan now knew everything.
'Lieutenant Paris, what is wrong? Why are you feeling panicked?'
'You know everything,' Tom mentally whispered in horror.
'Know everything? I see. You are concerned that my presence is an invasion of your privacy. There is no need for concern. I only know what you want me to know, Lieutenant. I shall not invade your privacy. Consider this to be the ultimate mindmeld. I have the mental discipline necessary to restrain from prying into your thoughts.'
'But you're in my head too. How can you not-'
'It is like we are sharing quarters, Lieutenant. You have your space and I have mine yet we are sharing the same room. I will refrain from... touching your things and you will refrain from touching mine.'
'For how long?'
'For how long can I keep from prying?'
'Yes.'
'For as long as it takes.'
'What if Voyager doesn't get to us in time? If your body dies, will you and I be "sharing quarters" until Voyager gets home?'
That gave Tuvok pause. 'If necessary.'
Tom retreated into silence. How was he going to handle this? His mind cast back to the McCoy biography, to what had happened to McCoy when he and Spock had done what he and Tuvok now had. Was he going to going to go through what McCoy did? Succumb to the same near madness that he almost had?
It was then that he knew Tuvok told the truth about not being able to know his thoughts until he wanted him to know. If Tuvok truly had been intruding, he would have commented on this new worry of Tom's.
The concern about his privacy out of the way, Tom permitted himself to think of his biggest concern. If Tuvok did end up his "roommate" for the rest of the voyage, what would happen when the AlphaOmegans arrived to reclaim their AWOL soldier? How could Tuvok be spared from sharing the same fate he was destined to endure when The Protectors had him in their clutches once more? He had no choice. If Voyager did not find them in time to save Tuvok's body, they would have to find a new home for Tuvok's katra. Maybe inside of Vorik? He was Vulcan after all. He had to be better equipped to handle this. If not Vorik, then there had to be another option.
One started to come to mind when there was a sudden nothingness.
-------
For all his worries about *if* Voyager would find them in time, Tom had not realized they had been found and currently were in Sickbay. The abrupt return to mental awareness was the Doctor releasing him from stasis. The sudden nothingness was his being sedated so the operation to heal his injuries could begin.
While the majority of his program desperately attempted to save his patients, a small part of the EMH reviewed all information on Vulcans and katras. A few of the forty-seven physicians whose knowledge comprised his programming had had experience with this. There were only two instances, however, of a human being the recipient and with both they had been within a few days' travel of Vulcan, not a few decades. He worried about Tom's future if Tuvok's body died. Two such diametrically opposed personalities sharing the same body. It was going to be difficult to say the least.
Once Tom's treatment was completed, the temporary assistants removed the surgical trays then left Sickbay for the Mess Hall. The minute the hologram thought he was alone, he frowned at the displays over each biobed. He had done everything modern medicine could do. It was up to Tom and Tuvok now.
"Doctor?" he heard the Captain call from the doorway to Sickbay.
"You may come in now, Captain."
She moved closer, staring down at each of her men in turn. "How are they?"
"Though he remains unconscious for the moment, Lieutenant Paris is assured of a complete recovery. He had a concussion, a broken left shoulder and leg, a badly sprained right ankle, severed tendons and muscles in his right hand, a hairline fracture in two ribs, and numerous wounds on his back from which I removed shards of rock. But thanks to my superior medical skills, Mr. Paris has been brought back from the brink of death yet again. In a few hours he should awaken. He'll need to spend at least another seventy-two hours here before I'll release him to light duty."
A very pale Kathryn stared at Tom. The moment she first had laid eyes on him hours ago, she had known Tom was badly injured yet nothing like this. "And Tuvok?" she asked, almost not wanting to know how badly off he had been.
"It was difficult to find a bone in his body that was not broken, cracked or dislocated. There was massive external and internal bleeding and a severe concussion. The good news is I've put him back together and if his body survives the next seventy-two hours I'd say his body's chances for a full recovery are fair."
Kathryn narrowed her eyes at the odd phrasing. "His body's chances?"
He led her over to a console. While showing her the scans of Tom and Tuvok's brainwave patterns, he explained their predicament. Quite understandably, she took a few moments to review and fully comprehend the implications of what he told her. While she was doing so, he called in the only other Vulcan on Voyager in the hopes he might be able to offer some information that was not on file in the computer.
Within minutes, Vorik entered Sickbay. "You wished to see me, Doctor?" the young Vulcan asked.
"What do you know about this?"
Vorik took a look at the information on the screen then at the unconscious Tuvok. "Will his body live?"
"As I just told the Captain, if he survives the next three days, the prospects are fair, not good, but fair."
"I d
o not know anymore than what every Vulcan is taught, Doctor, and this entry appears to coincide with my own knowledge. It is the final act a Vulcan undertakes when he or she realizes death is inevitable and he or she is far from Vulcan. The katra is transferred to one who can be entrusted to take it to Vulcan where it shall join those who have gone before."
Kathryn's sadness showed on her face. "Tuvok thought there was little hope of his survival so he did this?"
"Clearly that was the case, Captain. I take it, Doctor, that the rumors concerning he and Lieutenant Paris being in some sort of mountain climbing accident were true."
"Yes," the Doctor confirmed. "What I need to know, Ensign, how long will it be after he regains consciousness before he can... get back together and what will it do to Lieutenant Paris in the meantime."
"The time frame will depend on the recovery time. If his injuries were severe enough for him to undertake such a last resort action, then it would be logical that the recover would be long."
"His body will be confined to bed for two weeks at least," the EMH confirmed. "I don't know for certain when he will awaken. A few days certainly."
"Lieutenant Paris will have to keep the katra until then. Only when the Lieutenant Commander's body is physically strong enough to sustain itself will it be advisable for him to attempt to reunite. Keeping his body alive until then will be the problem."
The Doctor checked the information then the latest scans of Tuvok. "He'll just have to stay on life support until then."
The Captain finally interrupted. "Gentlemen, what about Tom?"
"There may be some problems for Lieutenant Paris," Vorik explained, "but he will survive."
"What kind of problems?"
"A space which is intended only for one now has two. There will be some adjustments for both of them to make. Until they do, there may be some mental trauma suffered by one or both of them. Probably it will be Lieutenant Paris. The Lieutenant Commander is a highly trained Vulcan. He will be able to endure this experience with little difficulty."
"Define 'mental trauma.'"
"Memories, emotions, thoughts, all normal brain functions will be in upheaval until a balance is achieved."
"And how long could it be until there is this balance?"
"That is difficult to calculate, Captain. The Lieutenant Commander has had the misfortune to be forced to share the body of the most emotional member of the crew after Lieutenant Torres. I predict it will be exceedingly difficult for Lieutenant Paris to adjust to these new circumstances. That in turn will prove difficult for Lieutenant Commander Tuvok."
The Captain shivered on Tuvok and Tom's behalf. For two men, one who subjugated his emotions as part of his culture, and another who did it to protect himself, suddenly to be placed in such a position, it was going to be Hell for them.
"Does the crew have anything to worry about? I have heard stories about Vulcans that have become ill and unconsciously telepathically communicated their emotions to others."
The Doctor shook his head. "There is little chance of that in this case, Captain."
As he went into a long-winded explanation of the reason why not, Kathryn stopped listening. Her main concerns had been addressed and that was all that mattered at the moment. She knew he would send her a voluminous report on the subject later as he always did.
'Why couldn't anything on this ship ever go smoothly,' Kathryn sighed to herself? 'Why did everything always end up such a big production? Some days she wondered if the philosophers were right. If life as they knew it was mere words on the screen of some higher being's computer and they were made to suffer for its amusement.'
-------
Chakotay found B'Elanna in Holodeck Two. He recognized the program she was running as the interior of the lodge in Tom's San Moritz skiing program. He wondered at that. She disliked this program as too cold for her Klingon-side even though she did occasionally come here because Tom liked it.
Maybe that explained why she was here instead of pacing the corridor outside of Sickbay as she typically did when Tom, all too often, was inside, fighting for his life. Perhaps she felt closer to Tom here inside of his creation and it was better than pacing the corridor.
Quietly, Chakotay lowered himself down beside her on the braided rug before the holographic fire. Huddled in what everyone referred to as "her" blanket since she always was wrapped in it while she was in the lodge, she remained in her own little world. He let her stay there for a while then gently coaxed her out of it.
"B'Elanna?"
She blinked a few times in rapid succession then focused on him. "Chakotay?"
"Tom's out of surgery. He's still sedated but you can go see him."
Her eyes found the fire again.
"If that's what you want."
She said nothing.
"I know your relationship's been a little... strained lately. I think, though, it would mean a lot to him if you were to set aside your anger at him and be there when he woke up."
A large tear ran down her cheek.
Never before had Chakotay seen her cry. It was a disconcerting sight. "B'Elanna?"
"In-" Her voice broke and she had to begin again. "In the parole test, he meant it when he said he loved me."
He nodded. "Yes, I think he did."
"And when he told you he wasn't coming...?"
"I think it was to protect us."
She squeezed her eyes shut. Tears fell in earnest. "I've done something horrible."
"What do you mean?"
"When Tom was fighting for his life-" She broke off.
He patiently waited for her to continue. At last he had to give her a little prompting. "When Tom was fighting for his life...?"
"I was down on the planet...."
Chakotay did something he rarely ever did -- he jumped to a conclusion. He did so out of the supreme confidence that he knew B'Elanna Torres, maybe better than even Tom Paris. He figured that made it possible for him to predict her behavior and thoughts in any given situation. He never considered he could be wrong.
"You were on the planet having fun with Harry when Tom needed you and now you feel guilty." He laid a hand on her shoulder. "There's nothing for you to feel guilty about. You-"
"You're wrong," she growled, tears dashed.
"B'Elanna, this was a freak accident. It could have happened to anyone. The locals have been climbing in that area for generations and never knew anything about the instability of that plateau. They were as surprised as we were by this. If you had been with Tom, you'd be in Sickbay right now, too."
Angrily surging to her feet, she stalked off to the bay windows. "You don't understand," she cried plaintively.
He followed, trying to offer what comfort he could. "B'Elanna-"
"I wasn't having fun with Harry!" she practically yelled. "I was kissing Harry."
Chakotay stopped dead. He felt the Universe abruptly flip over, give a good shake like it was an ancient snow globe, then right itself again. In his mind little bits of plastic "snow" fluttered down all around him, obscuring his understanding. "I'm sorry, you what?"
"I was kissing Harry," she whispered, all her energy seemingly spent in making the admission the first time.
"I see." He thought for a second. "No, I don't see. You were kissing Harry? Harry Kim?"
She nodded sadly.
"Can I ask why?"
She regained some energy. "I don't know 'why'! We were talking -- well, Harry was doing most of the talking really -- and he convinced me to watch the recording of the parole test. Then I said something like: 'Why couldn't I have fallen for someone like him? I would have fewer problems.' We talked about that a bit then I kissed him. But I didn't mean to!"
"You didn't mean to kiss him?"
"No! Well, I meant to, yes, but only a little one. Out of gratitude. You know, one friend saying 'thank you' to another."
"I've never seen you say thank you to anyone like that before," he dared point out.
"No. I know, but-" She clut
ched the blanket more tightly about her and stomped back to the rug to glare into the fire. "This is all his fault!"
"Harry's?"
"Tom's!"
"Your kissing Harry was Tom's fault?"
"If it weren't for Tom and this mess, he and I still would be together and -"
"So you're saying you're officially over as a couple."
Immediately, she tried to respond to that. He cut her off before she could.
"Think very carefully about that question, B'Elanna. This is Tom Paris we are talking about here. The man you have told me numerous times is the best thing that ever happened to you. The only man other than me who's ever willingly stood up to your temper time and again and not backed down. The only man who's ever made you grin like the proverbial schoolgirl at the mere sound of his voice over the Comm."
She was quiet for a moment then nodded. "We're over. I can't take him back after what he has done."
"Exactly what has he done?"
Openly showing shock, she turned to him. "What's he done? You were there. You know what he did." She shook her head. "You sound like the Captain and Harry."
"If the Captain, Harry, and I sound alike then maybe there's a reason for it. Maybe it's because we're raising the logical arguments to make and you should be listening to us. And, yes, I was there and just as I told you, I think he really was planning to stay away from you for your own sake and safety, B'Elanna."
Groaning heavily, B'Elanna flung off the blanket and began to pace.
"Yes, he did take the coward's way out and not tell you in person, but I saw the look on his face. I think, if he had tried to tell you face to face, not via letter, he would not have been able to say goodbye."
"You just don't understand!"
"No, I don't think you understand. I think you should do what you told Harry you were going to do. The Captain or I can authorize the release of the parole test records to you. You can watch them then make up your mind as to what you believe. Right now you don't have all the facts. Don't throw your relationship with him away before you do know them."
