Love Desired

by Kelli McCracken

  Bentley’s brows scrunched together. “It’s not like you to agree with me, even when you’re in the wrong. What is going on with you?”

  Staring ahead, I lifted the bottle again, finishing off the beer after another long drink. I hated lying to Bentley. He was my closest friend, the one I’d known the longest, the one who always had my back. Still, I couldn’t tell him the truth.

  Turning my back to the bar, I gazed toward the dance floor and the stage. The music drifted into my ears, relieving some of the tension pounding through me. I knew Bentley was staring at me, waiting for an answer I wasn’t prepared to give.

  When I glanced his way, he wasn’t looking at me. He was concentrating on the left side of the bar. The moment I did the same, the air around me combusted.

  Mia and Andi were in the distance, making their way around the bar while talking to other guests. They hadn’t noticed us, but each step they made brought them closer.

  I knew I’d see her again before the night was over. Now I was a beer and one ass-kicking shot into a possible conversation. If I didn’t trust myself around her before, it was even less now. My head was screaming at me to turn around and face the bar. The alcohol burning through me prevented it.

  “Here’s your chance to redeem yourself.” Bentley’s voice was steady and soft enough for no one else to hear.

  All I did was nod. Both women were at the corner of the bar opposite the one where we sat. Andi spotted Bentley the moment Mia began speaking to the group of women having drinks. I knew they’d head our way soon enough.

  I didn’t expect it to be next.

  “Good evening, guys,” Andi greeted us as she approached first. Mia proceeded behind her, but she seemed to hesitate when her eyes met mine. She didn’t hold my gaze long. Instead, she stopped beside her assistant and waved at some people past me.

  “Evening, ladies.” Bentley tipped his beer toward them. “We thought we’d catch the show and have a few beers.”

  “Glad to see you’re unwinding.” Andi flashed him the same cheesy smile he was giving her. I wanted to laugh at my friend but didn’t.

  “I hope your suites are satisfactory,” Mia spoke this time. When she glanced my way, I froze. “Is there anything you need that we didn’t put in the room?”

  My face heated. Bentley didn’t answer this time. He was expecting me to do it. He wanted me to redeem myself for my earlier actions. I wanted the same. Yet, the longer I stared into Mia’s eyes, the more my throat constricted.

  Forcing myself to shake my head, I found my voice when Bentley cleared his throat. “My suite is perfect. I have everything I need. Thank you, Miss Brooks.”

  I didn’t miss the dip that formed between her brows or the way the subtle gesture made me feel like I’d offended her.

  “Miss Brooks makes me sound unapproachable. Please, call me Mia.”

  Guilt swallowed me. She didn’t realize that I needed her to be unapproachable. She was in a powerful position, one I respected. I couldn’t abuse that power or her.

  “Thank you, Mia.” The words stuck in my throat as I glanced lower, noting the curves of her body before the floor came into view. “We appreciate your hospitality.”

  When no one else spoke, I glimpsed at her briefly. It was a mistake to do so. Disappointment clouded the spark I’d noticed in her eyes. Her lips were pressed together as she nodded softly.

  Her cell rang a second later. She turned her back as she took the call. I heard her greet the caller, reply yes a couple of times, then assure whoever it was that she’d be there soon. When she finished, she regarded Bentley and Andi.

  “We’re needed backstage.”

  “Guess we better go.” Andi smiled at Bentley. “I’ll check in with you guys tomorrow.”

  “Sounds good,” he answered, keeping his eyes locked on Andi until she was out of sight. The moment she was, he faced me again. “Well, your behavior was an improvement, but I wouldn’t say you’ve redeemed yourself yet.”

  “Quit busting my balls, Bentley. I’m not in the mood.”

  “I can’t help it. I don’t understand why you’re acting so cold around—” His voice fell away as he studied me a moment. He chuckled a second later, but I wasn’t sure if it was humor behind his reaction. “It all makes perfect sense.”

  “What does?”

  “Your behavior . . . I don’t know why I didn’t see this before.”

  Leaning my elbows against the bar, I rubbed my temples. “What are you rambling about?”

  “You, man. I know why you’re acting like such a prick to Mia.”

  I peeked at him from behind my hand. “Enlighten me then, all-seeing one.”

  “You’re doing your best to keep her at a distance. There’s only one reason you would do that. You’re attracted to her.”

  I didn’t say anything else. I couldn’t. Bentley was on to me. He’d recognized something in me I kept denying to myself. I was attracted to Mia, and it took everything in me to fight against it. Every encounter we had made it more difficult. If we had to work together . . .

  I’d lose something before it was over—my shot at being a rock star or what was left of my heart.

  * * *

  ~Mia~

  The stage curtain brushed against my shoulder as I stood backstage observing the performance Cold Fire was giving. In truth, I wasn’t really paying attention to them. I was using the song to drown the voice in my head, the one that kept urging me to search for Ayden.

  Despite how much I enjoyed the music, I caved to my desire and glanced across the floor. It was hard to see him in the distance. Had Andi and I not stopped to talk to them, I wouldn’t have known it was he and Bentley sitting at the corner of the right-hand bar. From what I’d observed since walking away, they were two shots and four beers into the evening. That didn’t include what they were drinking before Andi and I approached.

  In truth, I was happy to see them drinking. Maybe it would help Ayden relax. He wasn’t as cold to me this time as he had been earlier. I hoped it was a sign that he’d be more apt to accept my help by the time we began working together. In a couple of weeks, we would be.

  Maybe I was going about this wrong, and in reality, his callous attitude was a gift. In time, the pull I felt toward him would lessen. I wouldn’t have to hold my breath when I was around him. His scent wouldn’t arouse me. The sound of his voice wouldn’t cause my skin to pimple. Standing next to him wouldn’t send my body into overdrive.

  “Are you coming?”

  No, but I wanted to be . . .

  I shook the thoughts from my mind and focused on Andi. She stood near the sound booth, tapping her foot as she waited for me to accompany her to the condos. Once I joined her, she studied me.

  “Sorry. I was looking at something.”

  “Don’t you mean someone?” Her brow arched as she fought to keep from laughing. “Kinda hard for you to take your eyes off him, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, but only because I’m worried they won’t stay. I can’t help them if they leave.”

  “You’re so full of shit.” Andi rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to argue about this with you right now, but I will tell you this. They’re not leaving. Trust me.”

  “How do you know for sure?”

  “I ran into Bentley earlier, after we showed them their suites. We walked to the arena together. He said he and the guys were looking forward to getting started.”

  The news eased some of my worry, but not all of it. “I’m glad to hear they’re staying. It still doesn’t explain why Ayden hates me.”

  “He doesn’t hate you,” Andi assured me as we strolled toward the left side of the bar. “I think he’s overwhelmed from the trip as much as he is at what you’re offering their band. He’s struck stupid. Give him time to settle in and adjust.”

  “All I’m trying to do is help.”

  “Okay, I’m going to call you on your bullshit again. I know you want to help them, but you’re interested in Ayden.”

  Gre
at. I did not want to have this conversation. The less I focused on what I was feeling, the better off I’d be. “I think you’re confusing me with yourself. I saw you flirting with Bentley.”

  “Yeah, I was flirting. I’m not ashamed to admit it. Why are you?”

  There was no sense in denying my feelings. Andi knew me well. I knew her too, and I knew she wouldn’t give up until we had this discussion.

  “I’m not ashamed to admit anything. Yes, I think Ayden is sexy, and yeah, I may have entertained the idea of him and me . . . ” The words caught in my throat. “I didn’t bring him here to seduce him. I can’t. I want them to be discovered because of their talent, not because one of the members is sleeping with the CEO of Music Haven.”

  “Mia, you can have the best of both worlds if you play this right. I understand your reservations after everything that happened before. This isn’t the same situation or the same people. Even you are different.”

  Her words cut me deep because they were a reminder of my past mistakes. I couldn’t repeat them this time. Ayden deserved to be discovered. I couldn’t get in the way of it happening.

  “I realize this situation is different, but I still have to be cautious. Besides, Ayden isn’t interested in me. He’s made that perfectly clear.”

  “I’m not telling you to seduce him. All I’m saying is get to know him. Let him get to know you. See what evolves from that.”

  As we rounded the corner of the bar and made our way to the exit, I glanced toward Ayden and Bentley. Part of me hoped they were deep into whatever conversation they were having. If they were, they wouldn’t notice us on our way out.

  I’d jinxed myself. Just as we neared the corner opposite of them, Ayden’s head turned in our direction. When our eyes met, it felt as though the air was knocked out of me. I couldn’t breathe. My knees grew wobbly. My stomach twisted in knots.

  All it took to cause the reaction was a hint of a smile from Ayden.

  Chapter 4

  ~Ayden~

  I’d screwed up. Each day that passed without seeing Mia convinced me as much. I hadn’t caught a glimpse of her since the night we arrived. Andi assured us that Mia would be back in a week to get things started with our band, but eight days later, I questioned the validity of her statement.

  Unless she was hiding out in her suite, Mia hadn’t made it back from her trip. Andi didn’t mention where she was going and I didn’t push the issue. It was enough that we were still here.

  As I walked from my suite toward the arena, I made a promise to myself. If Mia didn’t send us packing, I’d do better about my interactions with her. I wouldn’t continue to be the insensitive asshole she’d met. I’d be the grateful musician willing and ready to accept her guidance. I could control my thoughts, keep them professional, and ignore the magnetic force that drew me to her.

  Her absence hadn’t decreased my feelings. From the moment we met, she hadn’t left my mind. I didn’t admit that to anyone else, and I sure didn’t bother telling Bentley, Jason, or Ryan.

  My friends were having a blast. They were excited about what was ahead. I hadn’t seen them smile and laugh as much as they had since we arrived. They deserved this. I couldn’t ruin it.

  Entering the arena, the music playing inside the building had an upbeat tempo that lifted my mood. It didn’t sound like a live performance, which I confirmed when I saw the empty stage. Music boomed from the speakers spread around the building.

  After walking the length of the bar, I joined Bentley on the same stools we sat on every time we came here. He was so focused on the group of people between the stage and the bar that he didn’t notice my arrival.

  I cleared my throat, causing him to jump.

  When he realized it was me, he narrowed his eyes. “Nice to see you’re still alive. Did you get enough beauty sleep?”

  “There’s no need for me to rush over here every morning, unlike you.”

  Bentley scoffed, “I don’t rush over here every morning.”

  “The hell you don’t. Deny it all you want, but I know you’re coming here to see Andi.”

  Straightening his back, Bentley appeared offended. “Just because you want to bang the CEO doesn’t mean I want her assistant.”

  “I don’t want to bang the CEO.”

  “Whatever,” Bentley shrugged.

  As much as I wanted to defend myself, I didn’t say anything else. Max approached us as he set a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of Bentley. “Can I get you anything Ayden?”

  “I’ll take some coffee. I’m not hungry yet.”

  “Not a problem.” Max grabbed a cup from the rack above the bar then grabbed a pot from a nearby burner. “How come you two aren’t out there exercising with everyone else?”

  I retook note of the group, watching them move in unison to the music. I knew my way around a gym, but I wasn’t the type to join a class. Weights I could do. Yoga, not so much.

  “I didn’t realize there was a class in the mornings. This is the earliest I’ve been up since we arrived.”

  Max set the coffee cup in front of me, along with some cream and a container of sugar. “They’re in here every morning. All you have to do is show up to participate. Mia and Andi used to come in every morning and work out. People just started joining in. Now it’s a thing.”

  Just the sound of her name had my pulse racing. I glanced at the group again, toward the front, but the only person I saw was Andi. She was leaning to one side, demonstrating the pose for the rest of the participants.

  I scanned over the group once more, still not seeing the face I was searching for. Right before I turned away, I caught a glimpse of dark ringlets. They were pulled up in a ponytail. Perhaps it’s why I didn’t recognize her at first, but now that I had, it was hard to turn away.

  Mia was back at Music Haven.

  It wasn’t until I noticed Bentley gawking at me that I turned around and grabbed my coffee. Max was still standing in front of us, staring toward the group. He had a grin on his face that matched Bentley’s.

  “I can’t participate because I’m usually here, but I’m not complaining. The view is amazing.” He watched a few more seconds before stepping back from the bar. “I better get back to work. Yell if you need anything.”

  “Thanks, Max,” Bentley replied. His focus remained on me, and the smile forming said he was about to share whatever thoughts were floating through his mind.

  I cringed at the thought.

  “Did you see her?”

  “Who?” I feigned confusion even though I knew who he meant.

  “Don’t play stupid, Ayden. I saw you hesitate when you looked in her direction. Mia’s back.”

  I took a drink of coffee, enjoying the warmth of the liquid. It beat thinking about Bentley’s words or the woman whose presence kept tugging at me.

  I avoided looking her way and concentrated on my friend instead. If he wanted me to be truthful with him, he needed to do the same. Despite how much he denied it, I knew he had it bad for Andi.

  “You accuse me of playing dumb, but what about you, Bentley? When are you going to be honest with me?”

  “About?”

  “Andi.”

  I didn’t miss the way his throat wobbled. He played it off by shoveling eggs into his mouth, along with a slice of bacon. After a few seconds of chewing, he swallowed again.

  “What about Andi?”

  “All the shit you’re giving me about Mia stems from one reason. What you’re accusing me of is what you’re feeling towards Mia’s assistant.”

  I expected him to deny it. Laugh. Curse. Anything other than sit in silence. After a moment with no response, he found the object of his desire once more.

  “Yeah. I’d fuck her in a heartbeat if she wanted it.”

  Drumming my fingers against the bar, I waited until he looked my way again. Then I shook my head. “It’s more than that. You’re getting up early. You’re spending every second of your day in the same vicinity as her. Deny it all you wan
t, but Andi Williams is under your skin.”

  “I won’t deny it. I’m man enough to admit as much. Are you?”

  A wave of heat filled my face. Talk about being put on the spot. I hadn’t expected Bentley to admit his interest in Andi so easily. Now he wanted an answer from me.

  “What difference does it make? Mia’s out of my league.”

  “Bullshit. I know what this is about, or should I say, whom?”

  “Say her name and I’ll throat-punch you.”

  Hearty laughter left Bentley’s mouth. “Sounds like I hit a nerve. Don’t worry. I won’t say her name, but it doesn’t change what I said. This is about her, the things she said to you.”

  “This isn’t about her.” I gritted my teeth.

  “Yes, it is. She made you feel inferior. That girl fucked with your head so bad, you haven’t been right since. That’s what she wanted. Don’t give her the satisfaction.”

  “So what should I do? Just screw around like you do and not give a damn about anyone but myself?”

  My words were harsh. I knew it as soon as I spoke them. When Bentley winced, it confirmed it. The worst part of all, he was right. I insulted my friend because of a woman I still allowed to control me. It had to end.

  “I’m sorry, Bentley. That came out harsh.”

  He waved off my apology. “It’s the truth. I’m not ashamed of it because I’ve been transparent. Any woman I’ve been with knew it was sex and nothing more.”

  “What about Andi? Will you be as transparent with her?”

  Bentley grew quiet. The music stopped as the group working out began to disperse. Andi was standing in front of Mia, a few yards from the stage. It was the same direction Bentley was staring.

  When he faced me again, he shrugged. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with her. I like her more than any woman I’ve met. Guess I’ll see where things go.”

  “What if she’s an all-or-nothing girl?”

  His gaze drifted back to Andi, who was walking toward us. He shifted in his seat and leaned against the bar. “Like I said, I’ll see where things go. I’ve yet to meet a woman that would be worth me settling down.”