“I already told you that,” I answer, pulling my hand away.
“Super. I have to dance with a girl who thinks I’m an asshole,” he grunts.
“I’ve had to dance with lots of assholes, so it doesn’t make much difference to me if you’re one or not,” I reply calmly.
He snorts again, and goes over to the stereo. “How do you want to choreograph this dance?”
“As perfectly as possible so we make it into the fourth show.”
“Hmm,” he says and turns to me again. “Then maybe we should leave out the lifts, that’s how Julie broke her leg.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “You broke Julie’s leg?”
“No. She lost her grip and slid, and came down wrong. I tried to catch her, but it didn’t work.”
“Oh, crap,” I say. “So definitely no lifts.”
Then he grins. “I’d advise against it until I get better at this, but on the other hand . . . you aren’t nearly as heavy as Julie is.”
“I still don’t want to risk it, but in the rumba you don’t have to do lifts, anyway.”
“Shall we continue, then?” he asks.
I nod. “You’ve got the basic steps down, we should work more on the spin.” I look around the room. “Let’s dance in front of the big mirror so you can see my movements more easily and copy them. I don’t mean you should spin, too, though,” I say drily, as he spins through the room in his best Fred Astaire imitation. I have to laugh, because he doesn’t stop, and I find myself laughing. “That’s enough, Gavin.”
He comes up to me, takes my hand, and spins us together.
“Come on, it’s really enough.” Why is he suddenly acting so differently than he was before?
Looking clearly disappointed, he lets go of me. Then we take position next to each other.
“Don’t forget to be looser with your hips. You shouldn’t be stiff as a stick.”
“Sure.” Gavin begins the basic step again, but he still looks stiff to me.
“Wait.” I go behind him and put my hand on his torso. “Every time I put pressure on one side, you swing your hips to the other side, OK?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Good, let’s go.” He promptly starts off on the wrong foot. “Gavin! Try to concentrate, please.”
“I’m trying, but it really bothers me that I’m the last person you want to see.”
“We have to come to an arrangement, so grow up.” I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Can we try to get along for the dance lessons and the show? You’ll be rid of me in four weeks at the latest.” As I look past him into the mirror, I can see the dark look on his face glaring back at me. “Please, Gavin. I can really use the money.”
“OK.”
“Can we get started? Today we only have to master the basic steps and a few spins, and then you’ll be rid of me until tomorrow afternoon, if my car can be fixed. Otherwise we’ll only see each other on Thursday again.”
“Understood.”
I take my place behind him again, and we go back to the basic step. Whenever I put pressure on his left side, he swings his hips to the right, and vice versa. “Rock, side, rock, side,” I tell him with every step. We practice that way for a while, until I don’t need to help him anymore. Gavin learns very fast, and I’m happy about that. Last year it was pretty different. Then I had to practice with my candidate nine hours a day. I must admit that Julie did a good job of preparing him.
A good ninety minutes later, we’re working on the spin again. “Don’t forget that I always spin when you take the rocking step backward and hold out your arm.”
“I’ll be able to manage that,” he says with a smile, and I see the sexy dimple on his stubbly chin. Why did it have to be so difficult with him? The sex with him was more than just satisfying. Our steps are faster now, since I know Gavin feels comfortable with the moves. It doesn’t take long before he lifts his right arm so I can go into the spin. We also manage the transition back into the basic step without faltering, which I’m happy about. The only thing that worries me a little is that he’s still always looking at our feet instead of into my eyes.
“My eyes are up here, unfortunately I don’t have any on my feet.”
Gavin raises his head slowly and looks me directly in the eyes. I still get lost in his gaze, and feel how my heart starts to race. I sigh and spin again. “I think that’s enough for today.”
“When will I see you tomorrow?”
“I don’t know yet. First I have to find out which garage my car is in, and if it can be fixed today. I’ll get in touch.”
“That doesn’t sound very promising.”
I slip into the little bathroom where I changed before.
“How do you plan to get to the garage? The closest one is twenty miles away!” he calls after me.
“I’ll find a way,” I reply as I change my clothes. I’ll take a shower at home, because I don’t want to do that here. Besides, I don’t even have a towel with me, and fortunately I didn’t sweat much, so I don’t smell like a dirty sock or anything.
When I come out, Gavin is gone. I take a deep breath, shoulder my bag, and leave the room. In the hall, I see him talking to Linden. I approach them, because Linden surely knows where Tiffy was brought by the tow truck. “Hey,” I say.
They both turn to look at me.
“I just wanted to ask if you know where my car was brought,” I say to Linden.
His lips form into a wide smile. “Gavin just asked me the same question. It’s at John Merryweather’s garage.”
“Super, thanks.” I return his smile. “I’ll go now. I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon or Thursday morning early, Gavin.”
They both nod at me. “See you, Lane.”
“Bye, Linden.”
Gavin doesn’t say anything, he just looks at me with annoyance. Probably because John’s garage is twenty miles away, but I’ll just have to bite the bullet and walk to the next bus stop, even if it’s a fairly long walk. Unfortunately, we’re in the middle of nowhere here, but I can understand that the guys need their peace and quiet.
Five minutes later, when I’m walking down the driveway, my cell phone rings. I fish it out of my bag and accept the call. “Hello?”
“Why didn’t you ask me to drive you?” Gavin asks.
“Where did you get my number?”
“From Thally. But why didn’t you ask?”
“Because I thought you have more important things to do than driving me around the Hamptons.”
“If you wait at the gatehouse, I’ll come pick you up in fifteen minutes, but I have to shower and change first.”
“Gavin, you really don’t have to drive me.”
“But I want to, because you really shouldn’t walk twenty miles to the garage.”
“That wouldn’t be a problem for me.”
“Lane!”
I clench my teeth together. “OK. I’ll wait for you there.” It will probably take me that long to get there anyway, because my bag is heavy, even though there’s not much in it, and besides, my feet hurt because I’m walking this damn gravel driveway in ballet flats.
“See you soon.” He hangs up.
Chapter 8
Just as I reach the gatehouse, I hear the crunch of tires on the gravel behind me. I turn and see a black Mercedes coming toward me, but I can’t see who’s behind the wheel, because the glass has a mirrored coating. The horn sounds, and I jump in shock. Idiot, I think bitterly, after pulling myself together.
“Are you coming, Madeleine?” Gavin calls.
I get in the car with a sigh. “Why did you have to honk?”
He laughs. “It’s just a habit. I always have to let the security guys know it’s me.”
“That’s a habit that almost ruptured my eardrums,” I complain as I fasten my seat belt. “Do you know how to get to the garage?”
“What do you think?” he asks with a grin.
I shrug. “You don’t want to know what I think.”
The sa
rcasm in my voice is obvious—I just can’t pull myself together. Let’s call it revenge.
“That’s true, actually,” he says. “But I know my way around here. I can bring you home from the garage, too, if you want.”
“I was hoping John could give me a loaner, otherwise I’m screwed.”
“That would be your own personal bad luck.”
“Oh, how friendly you are.”
Gavin steps on the gas. “I just like to adapt to the company I’m in.”
I snort and look out the window before I say something even more unfriendly. I have to hold back a little, otherwise he’ll surely leave me sitting by the side of the road. It wouldn’t be very smart to take that risk, out here in the middle of nowhere.
“Where would Miss Bitch like to go first? To the garage or home?”
“To the garage, and I’m not a bitch,” I say, defending myself.
He laughs again. “You’re certainly acting like one.”
“I’m not acting bitchy at all. I was just freaked out by your honking, and I let you know how it made me feel.” Hopefully I sound as serious as I’m trying to.
Gavin shakes his head with a sigh, and falls silent. He turns on the radio. In spite of the music, the silence between us feels forced, and probably not only for me. I’d really like to talk to him about what happened last time we saw each other, but I’m afraid to. Hopefully this ride will be over soon, I think with frustration.
“Wherever you go . . . ,” he sings quietly along with an old Richard Marx song. I close my eyes.
An image of the two of us lying in bed in his suite flashes before my eyes.
“Got me going crazy . . .” Out of the corner of my eye, I can see he’s looking at me. “That song is perfect for you. Did you realize that?”
I turn my head and look at him. “What do you mean?”
“You drive me crazy, the way you act. I . . . Oh, forget it.”
“You what?”
He doesn’t answer, but he pulls the car onto the shoulder of the road and stops. Without one word of explanation, he walks around the front of the car and throws open my door. “Get out of the car!”
I unfasten my seat belt and get out, since he asked me to.
He shoves me aside a little and slams the door shut. Then he pushes me up against the car and puts his hands against the window glass on either side of me. “Do you really want to know what I would have liked to do?” he asks angrily.
My mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out. I can’t believe he’s made me speechless. I nod insecurely, because suddenly I’m a little scared of him.
“Do you really want to know?”
I nod again.
“Say it, Madeleine!”
“Yes, dammit!” I answer as my voice finally comes back. “I want to know.”
“I wanted to put you over my knee.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Wh . . . what?”
“I would have liked to paddle your little ass, like you deserved. In New York, you were constantly blowing me off, and then you had the gall to accuse me of being some asshole who fucks his way around the world and is proud of it. Then you show up here without even bothering to warn me first. Your indifference drives me totally crazy, because I thought you had feelings for me. When you accused me of those things, maybe you were just projecting!” he shouts. “You’re so lost in your own little world. I’ve never met anyone so wrapped up in themselves as you are—and I’ve met a hell of a lot of fucked-up people. It seems like your head is at war with your heart, and it’s winning. If someone gets too close to you, you go into defense mode and destroy anything that could do you good!”
I try to avoid his piercing gaze, and rub the back of my neck. He’s wrong! “That’s not true,” I say quietly.
“Then what is true?” he demands, taking my chin in his hand. He’s not rough, but I still don’t want him to force me to look at him, so I fight against the pressure.
“Look at me, Madeleine.”
Against my will, I obey him and raise my eyes.
“Tell me the truth.”
I take a deep breath. “I wasn’t projecting on you. I . . . just wanted to have some fun, just a fling, and I didn’t actually want to start a relationship with you . . . I couldn’t have known that we’d end up partnered together on the show, after all. Please, let’s just do the show. I’m not asking any more than that.”
“So you were just using me,” he says, and pulls back from me in disgust.
“No . . . Gavin, I like you, but . . . we just don’t fit together, and what’s more, we barely know each other. I have problems that you’ll probably never have to deal with. I’d be a fucking ball and chain on your leg. No one can be happy with me, or have a relationship with me. I’m an emotional cripple.”
“Don’t make excuses.”
“I’m not! Jesus! I’m simply incapable of feeling anything right now!”
He holds my face between his hands again and stares at me sharply. “You can’t feel anything, but you could still have sex with me?”
“I’m sorry that I can’t remember one out of two times, because I had a goddamn blackout.” I sigh and shake my head. “Why are you doing this? You told me I said I was lonely when I was drunk. Yes, I am, actually, but that’s not because I’m single.”
“Then why?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, because it’s definitely too personal.” I don’t want to tell him about Brooke. He’ll find out about it on Saturday anyway, because the show will be dedicated to her. I’m afraid I’m going to fall apart in front of half the country, which would be my worst nightmare. I cover up my sorrow in front of everyone except for Macey and Jonah, because I don’t want to look weak.
“How am I supposed to understand if you don’t tell me what your damn problem is, Lane?” It’s the first time he’s called me Lane since we parted ways in New York.
“Because it’s not a problem that can be dealt with directly. It’s a feeling of guilt, and it’s my own fault. I have to live with it, and nobody else.” I try to get away from him, but he won’t let me. “Can we please go to the garage now? I’m tired and just want to shower and go to bed.”
He snorts and pulls back, and is suddenly sitting in the driver’s seat again. With a sigh, I lower myself into the seat next to him, fasten my seat belt, and try desperately to hold my tears back. I wish this whole thing between us never happened, because it would make everything simpler, but that would be too easy. Why should you have an easy life when fate wears steel-toed boots that are so easy to kick you in the ass with?
“We’ll be there in five minutes,” Gavin says after a while, shaking me out of my thoughts. I’ve been thinking how my life seems to be one big satire.
“OK,” I say quietly, trying to hide my shaking voice from him. “You can just let me out and leave. I’ll call my father and ask him to pick me up.”
“You don’t want me to bring you home?”
“I don’t want to ask for any more favors,” I answer carefully, because I don’t want to provoke him.
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s only a short drive to my parents’ place from here,” I tell him.
“That doesn’t matter.”
How can I get rid of him as fast as possible without upsetting him again? It must be possible! I just want to get away from him, because the way he acted before completely ruined my mood. Yeah, he might be right, but it wasn’t necessary to go all macho.
Gavin parks in front of John’s garage and gets out. I follow him. After all, it’s my car. On the way into the garage I pass him and go directly to the mechanic, whose legs are sticking out from under my car. “Hi, my name is Dubois. My car was brought here this morning, after it broke down.”
He slides out from under the car and looks at me with shining green eyes. “Madeleine Dubois?”
I nod. “Yes, that’s my name.”
The mechanic stands up and smiles at me. “Don’t you remember me?”
/>
“Umm . . . ,” I say, a little overwhelmed, while I frantically search the file drawer in my mind under “home” for his face.
“I’m Paxton. Paxton Leary.”
Paxton Leary? Oh, shit! “Oh, man, you’ve really changed,” I say in surprise.
“I’ve just gotten older.” He laughs. “And I’d hug you, but I’d better not, because your car dripped all over me.”
“Older and more manly,” I say, looking at him more closely. Paxton was my first boyfriend, a really great guy, but it fell apart because I spent so much time dancing. I have my mom to thank for that. She was the one who wanted to make sure I had a big career.
“Don’t exaggerate,” Paxton says.
Gavin clears his throat behind me. I look over my shoulder at him questioningly.
“What’s up with Madeleine’s car?” he asks.
“Looks like it was chewed on by martens. Some damn animal gnawed through a few hoses,” Pax explains, looking at me.
“Oh, shit! When will the car be ready to drive?”
“All of Tiffy’s hoses have to be exchanged. A week is optimistic, but I can’t promise anything. John is sick. And aside from me, only Carrick is here, and there’s a lot of work to do.”
I look at Pax with wide eyes. “You remember the name of my car?”
“You’ve had this car since you got your license, and that happened when we were together . . . Why shouldn’t I remember?” he asks with amusement.
“Because it was ages ago.” I giggle and feel my cheeks turning red.
Gavin snorts behind me. “Is there any way to do it faster?”
Pax raises his eyebrows. “Sure, if you provide me with a few mechanics who’ll work for free, Lane’s car will be ready in three or four days.” The sarcasm in his voice makes me grin.
Gavin grins, too, which makes me relieved, because it could have ended differently. “OK, then is it possible for her to have a loaner?”
Pax looks at me. “Sorry, no, but I’d be glad to bring you home soon, if you like.”
“That won’t be necessary, I’m doing that already,” Gavin says.
I turn so they’re standing on either side of me, and I can look at both of them. “Gavin’s giving me a ride, but if you like, we can meet for breakfast tomorrow and chat a little,” I suggest to Pax.
Gavin: Pure Passion (Hamptons Book 1) Page 12
