“You don’t have to marry the chit to bed her,” Angus offered in a conspiratorial tone as he stepped closer to Ewan.
“We’re not speaking of your other sisters. We’re speaking of Allyson.”
“So, you’re bedding Mary? Or is it Alice? Or is both of them? I hear you like to share your women with your brother. Do you like women to share you, too?”
Ewan lunged forward. Anger at what Angus insinuated about Allyson and how he touched on the truth led Ewan to draw his fist back, but a weight tugged on his arm. He looked down to see Allyson’s frantic expression. Her hands had turned to ice, and he could feel the cold through his sleeve.
“Count yourself lucky Allyson is here, or you’d be flat on your arse right now. Speak of her like that again, and I will do more than punch you. Your sister won’t save you again.”
“Save me? Ha,” Angus chortled. “You’re just trying to make yourself feel better after I hit a little too close to the truth. Your past is no secret with me. Lady Bevan and I are well acquainted. Even your aunt is a close companion when I’m at court.”
Ewan’s lips curled in disgust. He didn’t care for his aunt-by-marriage, but he knew she was no worse than him when it came to hopping from one bed to another at court. That Angus would mention his liaison with the very woman involved in the incident that sparked the contention between Allyson and him set his temper off. With Allyson’s hands still on his arm, he used his other hand to grab a fistful of Angus’s leine. He tugged hard enough for the other man to stumble. They came to stand nose-to-nose before Ewan leaned to the side and whispered, “Try this again in front of your sister, speak ill of her again, and it’ll be Graeme who’s named the next laird. Dead men don’t lead clans.” Ewan shoved him away, then wrapped his arm around Allyson and steered her past her brother, who seethed but said nothing more.
Neither Allyson nor Ewan spoke until they stood before the door of the tower. It was nearing the evening meal, and Allyson needed to change her gown if she wanted to avoid more comments from her mother about her appearance. Ewan would secure his sword in his chamber before entering the main keep and Great Hall.
“That didn’t go well,” Allyson muttered.
“It was going perfectly until Angus showed up,” Ewan tried to lighten the tension that had grown between them. He coiled a lock of hair around his finger and tugged until Allyson giggled.
“That’s not what I meant, and I’m certain you know that.”
“I do, but he’s ruined enough of our afternoon. I won’t let it all go to pot.”
Allyson’s cheeks heated as dipped her head and closed her eyes but failed to keep the edges of her mouth from lifting. “It was a nice afternoon.”
Ewan used his finger to nudge her chin up before he placed a gentle kiss on her sculpted cheekbone. “One of the best I’ve ever spent, but that seems to be the case any afternoon I spend with you.”
“Thank you, Ewan. Thank you for defending me, for keeping me company—for everything,” Allyson stumbled over her words at the end. She backed away, but cast one last smile over her shoulder as she walked toward the keep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Three nights after the encounter with Angus, Allyson slipped into the garden an hour after her family retired for the night. She wandered toward the spot where she and Ewan had kissed, but she was positive her heart stopped when she spied a couple. She couldn’t believe her eyes as she watched Ewan locked in a passionate embrace with Mary. He had his hand somewhere beneath her skirts, and the bodice of her kirtle sagged about her shoulders. Allyson was certain she would be ill as her world crumbled around her all over again. She lifted her skirts and ran, ran directly into a broad chest that was so like Ewan’s but couldn’t be because he was kissing her sister. She pushed past him and ran toward the postern gate.
“Allyson? Allyson, wait! Allyson,” Ewan called as he chased after her. He’d seen his brother and wanted to bash his head in. He also understood Allyson assumed Eoin was him and that it was Eoin chasing her. “Ally, stop! Ally!”
He was the only person to call her Ally, and that permeated her hazy mind as she rested her hands and forehead against the gate.
Ewan caught her and turned her, but she swatted him away. He grasped her hand and brought her finger to his lip and ran it over the scar that sliced it. He was aware she used it to tell them apart, and he was certain she felt it when they kissed.
“It’s me, Ewan, Ally,” he whispered as she collapsed against him, heaving sobs shaking her slender frame. “I’m sure you assumed it was me, but it’s Eoin.”
He held her, but the longer she trembled, the more concerned he became. Ewan realized she had reached her breaking point, and his arse of a brother pushed her over it. He scooped her into his arms and carried her back to the garden. He would sort this mess out, possibly murder his brother and her sister, and then comfort her until she understood that he’d not hurt for all the treasures in the world.
“No. Don’t make me go back there. No, please. Ewan, no.” Allyson whimpered in his arms as she attempted to burrow further into his chest.
“Wheest, aingeal.” Angel. The idea made Allyson hiccup as she laughed.
“I’m hardly that. I’d think you’d rather call me diabhal or deamhan.”
“You are neither the devil nor a demon, though I’d call my brother that. I’m ready to relegate him to hell.”
“No. Leave it alone. I know it’s not you. That’s all that matters to me.”
“It means a hell of a lot more to me. I’m not having your nasty sister spreading tales that it was me, and I know Eoin. He has a reason for this. I doubt I’ll agree with it, but it exists.”
Ewan lowered Allyson to her feet before storming over to his brother, who hovered over Mary’s reclined body on a bench. He grabbed a handful of Eoin’s leine and ripped him away. He plowed his fist into the underside of Eoin’s chin, making his twin’s head snap backwards.
“Cover yourself,” Ewan hissed at Mary before turning back to Eoin. “Explain now. You knew I was meeting Ally here. Why?”
“Wait?” Mary bleated. “You’re not Ewan? You’re the other one?”
“Aye, lass. I’m ‘the other one.’ You were hoping to get swived by your own sister’s betrothed. He may not be available, but there’s no reason I shouldn’t have some fun.”
“I don’t want you,” Mary hissed.
“You couldn’t tell the difference,” Eoin shrugged.
“I can tell you’re not the one who will inherit the lairdship. I’m the oldest. I should be marrying a laird or his heir, not my bastard sister.”
Allyson staggered backwards as she listened to Mary. Allyson turned to escape, but Ewan held her against his side.
“Eoin, you still need to explain, and unless you want me to be an only child, you’ll do it now.”
“I wanted to discover why Allyson’s family treats her as they do. Mary assumed I was you, and before I realized it, she was kissing me. I decided to test just how far she was willing to go, but I wouldn’t have tupped her. I do intend to tell Laird and Lady Elliot though.” Eoin cast a look of revulsion at Mary, who seethed as though she were the wounded party. Eoin turned toward Allyson. “I regret you saw that, my lady. That was not part of my plan. I found Mary out here, and she said she’d overheard Ewan saying he intended to meet you here. She wanted to find him first, hoping you’d catch her with Ewan. She assumed I was Ewan and wasted no time throwing herself at me. Now we understand your sister is so jealous, she’d sin to get what she wants. And we know that at least one of your siblings believes you don’t share the same parents as her.”
“But I still don’t understand why anyone believes that.” Allyson looked at Ewan, pleading for someone to make sense of the nightmare she couldn’t wake from. “Mary, you’re old enough to remember when I was born. You must have been here when Mother labored with me. I didn’t just turn up. Are you saying Mother had an affair? That’s not what was said the other night.”
“All babies have blue eyes,” Allyson reasoned.
“But not a one of us has blonde hair.”
“You believe Mother has been lying all this time about me being her daughter?”
“Yes. I still believe Father sired you, and your whoring mother dumped you on us.”
“Is that what everyone in this clan believes? Hasn’t Mother denied it?”
“And admit her husband was unfaithful? Hardly. Besides, why bother when it’s obvious.”
“I want to go inside,” Allyson murmured as she swayed on her feet. Ewan lifted her into his arms as he cast his brother a scathing glare.
“Lady Allyson, I truly am sorry. This was not how the scene played out in my head,” Eoin stepped forward and bowed. When he stood, Allyson noticed the remorse, but she wasn’t prepared to forgive him yet.
“It might not have been. But after she kissed you once, that should have been enough. You enjoyed yourself. I suspect you’d be swiving my sister if we hadn’t found you. That would be a slight against your brother, and for that, I’m not sure I’m ready to forgive you. Ewan has been trying to make things right, and you nearly destroyed it all. He might accept your apology, but I need to decide if I will.”
Ewan turned toward the keep and carried Allyson through the side door. He prepared to carry Allyson up the stairs to her chamber, but she stopped him.
“I can make it on my own. I’m well now, and no one can see you outside my door.”
“We still haven’t had the conversation I intended, and I believe we need to.”
Allyson cast him a long stare before nodding her head. “Put me down, and I will take you somewhere no one will know to look.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Allyson turned away from Ewan but reached back to offer him her hand before leading them to the stairs. They climbed to the fourth floor, and Ewan assumed they headed to the wall walk. He doubted it was as private as Allyson claimed, not with a sentry posted every ten feet. Unlike Chillingham, Kenneth was determined that no side of his keep should be unguarded. It surprised him when Allyson opened a door, and he found himself in the attic. She led the way after he closed the door behind them. She skirted around barrels and old furniture covered in large linens. She guided Ewan to a space where there was a child’s set of dolls and toy soldiers on a small table, a tapestry laid on the floor, and stacks of books strewn about. He had a sickening feeling Allyson would explain this was where she spent much of her spare time as a child. He picked up a piece of vellum that had a drawing of a castle with a city surrounding it, and he recognized it as Stirling. Outside the city gates was a couple mounted on a single horse. The woman had blonde hair and was smiling at the man seated behind her. The man’s face wasn’t visible, but the woman was Allyson. Ewan wondered if there was another man Allyson had wished to marry.
“He isn’t real,” Allyson murmured. “I mean, there isn’t a real man that I drew.” She shrugged her shoulders as she lifted a shawl from the back of a chair. She wrapped it around her shoulders before moving aside to make room for Ewan on the tapestry she’d laid on the floor as a rug many years ago. She sat with her knees curled and her arms wrapped around them. Ewan thought she looked so small and defenseless, even her body language said she wanted to guard herself.
“But this is what you dreamed of? A man who would take you away from Stirling, away from court? Maybe away from here?”
“That, or someone who makes these places bearable.” Allyson refused to meet his eyes as his seemed to penetrate any defense she had left. She was too tired to hide any longer. Mary’s words, ones she had heard whispered her entire life but were never said before someone outside her clan, cut her to the quick. Ewan put the drawing aside and eased onto the rug next to Allyson. He wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head under his chin as tears poured down her cheeks. “I don’t want to cry every time you embrace me, but that seems to be all I can do this eve.”
“You don’t need to hide from me, Ally. Let me be the shoulder you lean on. I didn’t understand any of this until recently. But I do now. I understand why you ran, or at least I think I do. You may have felt powerless like I did, but you were the one who truly was powerless. I’ll be laird one day, and I’ll govern my clan as I see fit, but no one other than the king will tell me how to lead my life. Everyone seems to be able to dictate how you lead yours. You felt trapped, and you feared not just that I might mistreat your body, but you had a real reason to worry I would mistreat your soul. Less than a moon ago, I was too selfish to understand or care how being a philandering husband would matter to a wife who would have a keep and children to fill her days. Or so I thought. I assumed I would marry, and expected the king or my father, or even I would arrange it, but I also assumed my bride would enter the marriage under the same circumstances and would view it as a business arrangement as much as I did. Perhaps another woman would. But I understand something now, two things really, that I didn’t then. I know you’ll never see a marriage that way, and I know I don’t want to marry anyone but you.”
“What’re you saying? That after everything I put you through, you’re willing to be shackled to me? That you’ll take a shrew home to your people at Huntley?”
“We both said things that day we shouldn’t. I know I did, and I’ve had time to realize how regrettable they were.”
“You’ve had time to pity me,” Allyson attempted to pull away, but Ewan lifted her into his lap. He left his hands resting lightly on her back and thigh, showing her that she could leave if she wanted. Instead, she leaned against him, and he tightened his hold.
“I don’t pity you, Ally. I feel badly about how things began. I feel guilty for my role in this. But when I removed myself from this and tried to see things as you do, I’m amazed by your courage. You might be naïve at times, and perhaps need protecting from yourself, but you’re nobody’s fool. The qualities that led you to run are the ones that will make you a fine lady to a clan, my clan. You’re resourceful, determined, brave, not easily cowed by anyone, and you can experience remorse when you choose poorly. That’s what I want and need in the woman who will lead alongside me.”
“But you said you didn’t need anyone to lead with you.”
“I said no one would tell me how to lead my life. Your family won’t convince me to set you aside. The king and our fathers won’t be forcing me to marry you when that’s what I want.”
“But you barely know me. You witnessed the worst sides of me. I’m self-centered, impetuous, I disregard others’ safety to put my whims ahead of others, and—and—I’m a flirt.”
“And I still want you.”
“You desire me. That’s not the type of want that makes for a happy marriage. You want me now until you bed me, then you’ll want something else. You’ve said as much.”
“I won’t deny I’m attracted to you. I have been since the first time I caught a glimpse of you. That’s why I’ve danced with you every night I’ve been at court.” Ewan closed his eyes and tilted back his head before meeting her gaze and confessing. “I’d intended to ask you to dance before I even went to Lady Bevan’s chamber. I’d hoped to steal a kiss that night. It embarrassed me when you caught me, and I attempted to play it off. I wasn’t better than a young lad. I’m certain Eoin felt the same and followed my lead. He appreciates Cairren’s sense of humor and kindness when they partner, and I’m certain it didn’t thrill him to have her catch us, too. I’m aware it makes me a cad, but all I can say is it was the way Eoin and I chose to pass the time. None of us looked at it as more than that.”
“That still doesn’t mean it isn’t just desire making you willing to marry me.”
“Will you deny you were attracted to me, too? Would you have re
jected me if I tried to kiss you?”
Allyson offered him a rueful expression before shaking her head. “I admit I’ve always found you attractive, and no, I wouldn’t have rejected you.”
“Ally, do you feel that way about Eoin, too?” Ewan held his breath, praying she said she didn’t.
“Maybe then I did. I couldn’t always tell you apart. I wasn’t sure in the passageway that day, but I don’t anymore. I can tell you apart now. And no, it isn’t the scar that gives it away. It may have helped tonight in the dark, but I can tell the difference in how you stand, how you walk, but your expressions give it away the most. Eoin doesn’t have the same brooding intensity you do.”
“He has always been the more easygoing of the two of us.”
“There’s also the way you look at me.”
“And how’s that?” Ewan asked.
“Speculative at times, lustful at others.”
“That sounds right. But don’t forget admiration.”
“I haven’t displayed many admirable traits lately.”
“But you have; I told you already.” Ewan kissed Allyson’s temple and tucked hair behind her ear before continuing. "I don’t know that I could’ve managed a childhood such as yours. Our mother wasn’t loving, and our father isn’t the best example for a husband, but I had a happy upbringing. Eoin and I have always had each other, and that made up for most things. You’ve had no one, at least not until you arrived at court. It breaks my heart to watch a woman who’s charming and engaging at court withdraw into a shell when she’s at home. I—I — don’t want this to be your home anymore. I want to take you away from here.”
“You might return me to court. You don’t have to marry me to do that.”
“Ally, why’re you fighting me on this? Do you believe I’ll return to being a rogue? Do you believe I don’t mean what I say?”
A Rogue at the Highland Court: An Arranged Marriage Highlander Romance Page 16
