So of course I said yes and bought the guy a couple of beers. Now we’re just waiting for the announcement.
“Seriously, though,” I say as I take the plates from Maggie and bring them over to the table. She takes my flowers and examines them critically. “You don’t think this is a bit much? It looks like a quinceañera in here. It’s just her master’s degree. Layla doesn’t like this kind of craziness.”
“Boy, please. You are not the only person in this family proud of my sister. First person in our family to go to graduate school. And now she’s going to do good with it? Your fucking sad little flowers don’t cut it. Everyone wanted to do this for her, and she deserves it, so let us throw her a real party.”
I look around, waiting for Mattie to charge back in, but he doesn’t. Of course not. I’m the only one who ever gets caught cussing.
I can’t argue with my sister’s words, though—that she considers my wife a sister or that her accomplishments are something to be fuckin’ proud of. I can’t lie. I was practically busting at the seams when I watched my girl accept her diploma yesterday. I was maybe even prouder than when she graduated from NYU, because this degree was hers in a way that first one wasn’t. After Layla was accepted to Columbia, she worked her ass off and won four different scholarships to pay for school and living expenses so she could get her master’s in social work instead of going to law school like her dad wanted.
Sergio never stopped bugging her about it. In fact, once he knew his daughter was pregnant, would you believe the asshole actually took a sabbatical and moved to New York for the birth? Three fuckin’ months I had to put up with that dickhead poking his controlling face around my apartment, checking on my kid, giving me dirty looks every time I had to pull a two or three-day shift, criticizing every damn thing I did, from the way I put on a diaper to the way I warmed up milk. If it wasn’t for how pissed he got every time I called him Mister Barros instead of Doctor, I don’t know how I would have survived.
But I can’t say I wasn’t ever grateful, either. Like that time Mattie got croup, Sergio was the only one who knew how to loosen that shit in his throat to keep him from choking to death. Scared the fuck out of me, let me tell you. Or when Mattie got hand, foot, and mouth disease from his first daycare, Sergio was the one to calm us down over and assure us that Mattie wasn’t dying of measles.
So, yeah. Maybe the guy’s not all bad.
In another year, though, Sergio Barros won’t be the only doctor in the family. Gabe has two more years at NYU medical school, and then he’ll officially be Dr. Soltero, ready to start an internship in family medicine. And even though I know we’ll be throwing a hell of a party when he does graduate, Maggie’s right. Layla is the first to get some fancy initials after her name. After Soltero. It is something to celebrate.
“Hey.” Maggie snaps me out of my thoughts with her fingers two inches in front of my face.
“Yo!” I cry out, batting her hand away. “Why do you always have to do that?”
Maggie smirks. “Because you always ignore me when I’m talking.”
I frown. “What is it?”
“I said, don’t you have an appointment you need to get to?”
I blink, then check my watch. Shit, yeah. If I’m going to have time with the graduate herself at home, I have to jam.
I grab the keys to K.C.’s Yukon off the table and start for the door. Mattie won’t miss me—he’s probably knee-deep in Allie’s Barbie collection by now, poor kid.
“K.C. know you’re taking his car?” Maggie asks as she heads back to the kitchen.
I jingle the keys. “It’s all part of the plan. See you at seven.”
“Don’t be late!” Maggie shouts, but I’m already halfway out the door.
Layla
I glance at the wall clock, but it still says the same time. Still five after two. Still twenty minutes past the time my freaking husband was supposed to be here to pick me up.
I stand up from the couch and smooth out my skirt. After our appointment, Nico and I are meeting with my parents, who both came to town for my graduation last night, for a small celebration. I should probably go change my shirt, a thin cotton tank top that’s more comfortable than dressy, but Nico’s unreasonable enjoyment at irritating my dad seems to have rubbed off on me. He’ll take one look at my outfit, a simple red skirt and cotton tank top, and give me a lecture for lacking appropriateness.
Well, whatever. Going for drinks at the Plaza isn’t really my idea of celebrating, especially these days, but it’s fine. It’s their comfort zone. Really, though, a master’s degree isn’t that big of a deal. Not compared to the fact that Gabe is going to be a freaking doctor in a few more years. It’s a two-year degree that I finished with the help of a lot of people. If anyone should be celebrated, it’s them.
I glance around our small living room, checking for things out of place. This is the first time in a long time I’ve actually had some time to myself without the threat of papers to write or housework to catch up on. Since we moved here, I’ve been in school, balancing the hectic life of having a husband whose job takes him away for days at a time, living with a toddler who would just as soon knock things over as look at them, and trying to get through the intense two-year program that would allow me to do the kind of work I’ve dreamed of since that day I watched Carmen find her freedom.
My job starts next week, but first things first. As soon as my final paper was submitted, Mom, Carmen, and I went through every piece of junk that Nico and I had accumulated over the past few years and tossed it, getting ready for the changes up ahead. And today I spent the morning cleaning my house.
It’s weird to call it that—my house. I mean, I’m still not quite twenty-six. Most people my age spend their extra money on drinks or vacations. No one is spending them on a new furnace or toddler clothes.
But honestly, I couldn’t be happier. We’re so lucky. Our little townhouse is nothing massive, maybe a quarter of the size of the house where I grew up outside of Seattle. But it’s a lot bigger than most apartments in New York, with three full bedrooms, an actual living room, even a washer and dryer. Is it weird that a washer and dryer excites me now? There is a lot more laundry to do with two boys in my house.
I wouldn’t have thought I’d like living this far from Manhattan, but things change when you have a kid. We kept the apartment in Chinatown until Mateo was about a year old, but you get tired of walking up and down five flights of stairs really quickly when you’re carrying a baby, a stroller, and all the other crap that somehow magically materializes when you have a kid.
Mateo brought other changes too. When he was born, something clicked in both of my parents. They might have finally gotten their act together and finalized their own divorce, but they also realized that this life I had been building in New York wasn’t going anywhere. So instead of alienating my new family and distancing themselves from what I had embraced, they gifted Nico and me with a down payment on this place in Riverdale, just in time for our first anniversary. Nico was speechless. Really, he literally couldn’t speak for almost an hour.
I wander out the back door, to the tiny patio that makes up our “backyard,” if you could even call it that. Having a yard at all in New York City is a luxury. This space was my birthday present last year from Nico and Gabe. Together they landscaped the two hundred square feet of nothing into a mini-paradise, laying down a brick patio, exchanging the chain-link fence for a taller wood one, and building a fire pit in the middle. They planted a few trees that now block out most of the surrounding buildings, and a bunch of different flowers that make it smell sweet in the spring. It’s my happy place.
I sit down on one of the lounge chairs and look up through the foliage, past strings of lights to the blue sky that’s dappled with clouds. Even from here, you can hear the chatter of the city, although it’s quieter in this part of the Bronx. We’re not far from the Metro line we both take into Manhattan almost daily, and the sounds of kids playing at the park a ha
lf a black away filter through the fence. But the noises blend together with the wind coming off the Hudson and laughing through the trees. It’s peaceful, not frenetic. Just what I need.
I close my eyes and listen, turning my face to the sun.
Please, I find myself praying to a God that, over the years, I’ve come to believe in more and more. Please protect it. Please don’t take it away.
I listen, but there’s no answer. There never is, but I know He’s there. He must be.
“I thought you might be out here.”
Nico’s deep voice seeps into me, and even though I’m annoyed he’s late, I’m immediately calmer. That’s just what his presence does. It’s why, though he’ll never know, I’m that much more anxious when he goes to work. Nico’s job isn’t the safest in the world. As interesting as his stories about climbing into burning buildings or broken sewers are, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to hear them. Is it terrible that I kind of wish my husband were the type of firefighter who rescued cats in trees?
But I’d never stop him from talking about his job, one of the loves of his life, because I love every damn bit of himself that Nico Soltero has ever been willing to share with me. Even the scary parts.
I turn and smile. “It’s so nice, and the weather is beautiful. We have to enjoy it while we can, right?”
Nico leans against the doorframe, making no move to come get me, though I kind of wish he would. He looks as freaking delectable as ever in his uniform—the navy pants that hug his slim hips and round backside just right, the short-sleeved button-down shirt that really doesn’t leave enough room for his biceps, the curved-bill Yankees hat that he’ll never, ever toss out. He smiles and crosses his arms, making the tattoo sleeve that now extends down his forearm ripple. He let Milo try out a few more patterns, blending several dates into the curving lines. The day he was released from Tryon. The day he graduated high school. Our first date. The day he was accepted into the FDNY academy. The day his mother was granted permanent residency. Two days later, when we got married. Mateo’s birthday.
There are others too, etched so small in black you can only see them when you’re close enough to kiss them, as I often do. His arm has become a map of his life, and I’m honored to be a part of it.
By the time my gaze drifts back up to meet his, Nico’s no longer smiling. Suddenly the air, despite the balmy spring weather, crackles.
Even more than six years after we first met, it’s still like that between us. There’s an energy, something between us that connects on a cellular level. Something in Nico’s body, in his blood, his veins, calls directly to mine. Sure, sometimes it gets swallowed up by everyday life. It’s hard to want to jump each other’s bones when a baby is crying and you’ve got a term paper due in two days, or when you’ve been working for seventy-two hours straight and the water heater’s broken. But even so, there are still times when he will just look at me—across the dinner table, over a mountain of laundry, when I walk in the front door—and I swear, it’s like the wind was knocked out of me. Every single, solitary part of me reorients toward him. And for just a moment, it feels like there’s nothing else.
“You’re late,” I whisper, although I’m done caring about that. It’s occurring to me, just as I’m sure it’s occurring to him, that we have the house to ourselves, which almost never happens.
Nico smiles again, this time slow and deliberate, gradually baring his bright white teeth in that sly way that hints of something much more wicked. “No, I’m not. I borrowed K.C.’s car. No train today, so we have plenty of time.”
His deep-brown eyes, almost black, slide over my body, tracing over the shirt that clings to my breasts and waist and the skirt that stops mid-thigh. It’s not a particularly revealing outfit. Comfortable and light, appropriate for the warm May weather. As if on command, though, goose bumps rise all over my skin, down my bare legs. Nico’s eyes gleam, and finally, he pushes off the doorway and joins me on the lounge.
“How you doin’, Mrs. Soltero?” he asks as he squats down for a kiss. “You’re looking pretty fine over here in the sunshine.”
“You are so corny. Nice rhyme.”
He doesn’t answer, just reveals one of his dimples before he slips a big hand around the nape of my neck and plants a long, slow kiss on my lips. His tongue teases them open, and I oblige, eager to taste him thoroughly. We don’t often get moments like these when we can take our time.
“Mmm.” His voice rumbles low in his throat as he pushes me back into the chair. His other hand drifts down my shoulder to palm one breast. “What the…” He breaks away and looks down. “Baby, you’re not wearing a bra.”
I raise a brow and bite my lip. “I was home alone. Didn’t really see the point.”
“Yeah, but…” He licks his lower lip. “Baby, look at you. What if you had to answer the door like that?”
I follow his gaze. Okay, to look at me, you’d probably think I was freezing. But to be fair, that’s his fault, not mine.
I look back up and grin. “Afraid I’m going to attract the attention of another deliveryman?”
That only elicits a growl and a kiss that’s much more possessive than the first. Both hands find my breasts now, knead and caress while mine slide up his neck and into his thick black hair, knocking the baseball cap to the ground. Nico drops his lips down my neck, and then, as he breaks away, plays with the straps of my shirt, pulling one strap over my shoulder, then the other until the entire neckline is below my breasts.
Keeping the straps wound around his fingers, he teases my nipples with the tightened fabric. Up and down over the sensitive nubs until my breath grows shallow, keeping his eyes on mine the entire time. When I moan a little, he drops the straps, and his thumbs feather down over the soft skin of my breasts, then over my nipples, making them rise even more. My back arches into his touch. Then he pinches, and any and all thinking ceases entirely.
“You got jokes, huh?” Nico asks as he tugs lightly on the ends of my aching breasts. They’re more sensitive than ever, and I know that feeling is only going to get worse in the months to come. If it’s anything like it was with Mattie, I’ll be tempted to run to the firehouse in the middle of the night just so Nico can take care of it.
He pulls again, this time harder. My eyes close against that intoxicating combination of pain and pleasure as he pulls again, forcing me to follow the movement and sit completely up until my lips meet his full, eager mouth. He kisses me deeply, pairing a bit of sweetness with the pain he inflicts.
Then, just as suddenly, his hands and mouth pull away, and I’m released back against the chair cushion with a light thump.
My eyes fly open. “Are you kidding?”
Nico sits up, black eyes dancing. “What?”
I shake my head. “There is no way you’re going to get me all turned on like that and stop midway. That’s just cruel for a woman in my condition.”
That wicked smile returns, just like I knew it would.
“And what condition would that be?”
I tip my head. “Pregnant, as you well know. And everyone knows you’re supposed to do what your wife tells you. You’re not supposed to stress her out, so you have to give her what she wants, whether it’s weird foods at three a.m. or sex with her hot firefighter husband.”
Nico tips his head back and laughs, and then, before I can say anything else, he slips one big arm under my back and another under my knees, and sweeps me off the lounge against his very broad shoulders. There won’t be any carrying me over his shoulder for the next several months, but that won’t stop him from picking me up in other ways. He’ll do it when I weigh an extra thirty pounds, too, as he proved the last time around. I was honestly scared he was going to break his back, carrying me up six flights of stairs, but the man is stubborn as a mule. Considering our son, it appears to be a family trait.
“We could just stay out here, you know,” I suggest as I bury my nose into his neck, inhaling his salty-sweet scent. Soap. Sweat. Smoke
. The combination is intoxicating.
“We could,” he agrees, though he’s already moving toward the house. “But the last time we tried that, Mrs. Mariano gave me dirty looks for a week.” He kicks the door shut behind him and gives me a long kiss, full of tongue and promise. “Face it, NYU. You’re too damn loud.”
I smack him on the shoulder, but I don’t argue as he continues carrying me up the stairs and into our bedroom, maintaining our kiss the entire time. The man is seriously talented with that tongue of his. I should have known better than to let him use it when we were outside, where the neighbors could hear.
He lays me on the bed, but when he tries to stand up, I snake a hand around his neck, keeping his face close for a moment more.
“Please,” I whisper. “You know. You know how I need it right now.”
Nico stands up, clearly checking me over. It’s not often I make this request, and when I do, it’s usually because I’m scared of something. Sometimes he doesn’t know what. The demons that used to visit me from time to time rarely stop by these days, but our life has replaced them with some others. I have more to lose now, just like him.
I stare as he removes his shirt, reveals every delectable muscle, every beautiful line of his chest and stomach, one button at a time. The funny thing is, I don’t even think he notices the way I’m drooling over him. He’s too busy thinking about what I’m asking, making sure I’m really okay.
“I don’t—I don’t want to hurt you. Either of you,” he says, though I can see by the way his hands are clenching at his sides that he wants to do exactly what I’m asking. Today, we’re both scared. We’re both searching for a bit of control, in the best way we know.
“If it’s going to happen again, it’s going to happen again,” I say, struggling to keep my voice from warbling. It’s one thing to think it to myself, but it’s another completely to say it out loud. “But you remember what the doctor said. Sex has nothing to do with it. Neither do any of the other things we normally do. The best thing we can do is just be ourselves. Together.”
Bad Idea- The Complete Collection Page 107
