“Thanks. That’s something I really needed to know,” I deadpan, placing the burnt bits of bacon I was going to throw out on Gar’s plate and giving his original serving to Micah instead.
I hand out plates as Ryder thumps Gar in the arm while he’s promising Louise to send her a replacement pic. We say goodbye, and tension is thick in the air as we eat. Ryder rubs my thigh under the table, but I shove his hand away. I know I’m being irrational, but I hate the thought of intimate pictures and videos of my boyfriend doing the rounds. I know it’s in the past, and it means nothing, but I can’t help how I feel, and right now, I’m jealous and angry, and I just want to slink away and lick my wounds.
Leaving the guys to clean up after breakfast, I take a long, hot shower, trying to de-stress and let it go. When I emerge from the bathroom, dressed in only a towel, Ryder is sitting on the bed waiting for me. He’s in his workout clothes, his ink on full display in the muscle top
“C’mere, sexy.” He pats his lap, and I shake my head.
“I need to get dressed, Ryder, and I’d like some privacy.” I don’t want to be all pissy with him, but I can’t help it.
He sighs, clawing a hand through his hair and walking toward me. “Baby, if I could erase my past, you know I would. If I could get those videos removed, I would, but it’s impossible once they go viral. We spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on legal fees when the first few videos came out, and we might as well have flushed the money down the toilet. It’s impossible to catch these people and hold them accountable, but if you want me to get my attorney on the case again, I will.”
I lean my head on his chest and his arms automatically go around me. “No, you don’t need to do that.” I gulp over the messy ball of emotion in my throat. “Just tell me about the bunny boiler.”
“She’s no one, baby.”
“Ryder.” My tone is caustic, and it brokers no argument.
He sighs. “After that happened to Luc, I completely fell off the rails. Was either high, stoned, drunk, or a combination, pretty much twenty-four seven. Ashley had recently joined the label, and she made her interest clear. We fucked a few times, and Gar joined us one time. Then I ended up in rehab, and when I came out, she started pressuring me to put a label on our relationship. I told her we’d never been more than fuck buddies and I wasn’t interested. She didn’t handle it well. Got clingy as fuck and started showing up at my place uninvited. I warned her I’d report her to the label if she didn’t back off. She threatened to leak video footage of our threesome to the media. I thought she was bluffing. Thought the threat of losing her job would be enough, but it wasn’t. She sold the video, made a ton of money, and didn’t care she was fired. I haven’t spoken to her since. The end.”
“What a bitch.”
“Yep. And I hate that she’s still trying to fuck with my life.” He holds my face in his hands. “Please don’t get upset. Honestly, she’s not worth it.”
I nod. “I’ll try, but it’s hard hearing constant reminders of your past. I’m just extra emotional ’cause my period is due soon. Don’t mind me. It’ll pass.”
He holds me tighter, and I close my eyes, leaning against his chest again, enjoying how cherished I feel bundled up in his arms. “Don’t apologize for how you feel, and I always want to know what’s going through your mind even if it makes me feel like the biggest shithead.”
I slide my hand up his chest. “I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to be together. And I can handle it, most of the time.”
“I completely understand if you don’t. The thought of there being shit like that about you in the public domain makes me so jealous I could scream. I know I wouldn’t handle it well, and I try not to think about those guys you’ve been with.”
I peek up at him. “I’ve never made a sex tape, so you can dispel that fear.”
He kisses me softly. “Let me make it up to you?” His eyes darken, and I feel him hardening against my stomach. He kneads the corded muscles in my shoulders. “You’re tense. Let me help you relax.”
Butterflies scatter in my chest, and my core floods with heat. “What did you have in mind, Rock Star?” I murmur in my most seductive voice, looking at him through hooded eyes.
“Lose the towel, get on the bed, and let me show you.”
CHAPTER 30
Ryder
I lock the bedroom door, kicking off my sneakers as I turn around to face her. She fixes her eyes on mine, her pupils burning with anticipation, holding my gaze confidently while licking her lips and moving her hand to the knot on her towel. My cock hardens, and desire rushes through me. Very slowly, she loosens the towel, and it drops to the floor, leaving her standing before me completely naked.
I suck in a breath as my eyes drink her in, sweeping down over her voluptuous tits, her nipples rosy, large, and taut, her skin prickling as my gaze wanders lower to her flat stomach, along the gentle curve of her hip, and on to the neatly trimmed patch of hair over her pussy before gliding down those long, long, shapely legs. She’s perfection, and I can’t wait to get my first taste of her.
I stride toward her with purpose, lightly placing my hands on her shoulders. “You are so fucking beautiful it hurts.” I kiss her mouth before moving along her cheek, to her jawline, and down to that sensitive spot just under her ear. I nip at her earlobe, and she whimpers, her legs buckling. I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her in close, wishing we were skin to skin, but we can’t go there yet. Not until she knows the full truth.
And that’s not what this is about.
This is about making her feel good. Cherished. Loved. So she knows she’s the only one. So all those doubts and jealousies in her head disappear.
Taking her hand, I lead her to the bed and tenderly push her down on the pillows. She lies flat on her back as I yank my top up over my head, crawling over her in just my running shorts. I hover over her body, enjoying the view, loving how her tits sway as her chest heaves up and down. Her eyes burn with lust, and I capture her mouth in a searing-hot kiss, my tongue plundering her mouth, moaning at the back of my throat as I lick inside her.
I continue my exploration, grazing my teeth along the column of her neck, brushing my lips across her collarbone as I trail a finger down the gap between her breasts. I play with her tits, kneading her flesh and rolling her hard nipples between my thumb and index finger. The sounds coming out of her mouth are almost enough to make me come in my pants like my horny teenage self. I lower my mouth to one tit while I fondle the other. I suck and bite, tugging at her nipple until she’s crying out, her back curving off the bed.
“Ryder, please.” She props up on her elbows, watching me lap at her tits. “I need your cock inside me.”
I crawl back up her body, kissing her passionately. “Not yet, honey. But soon. I promise.”
A sigh of frustration leaves her swollen lips, and I devour her mouth again. “I know how to take care of you, I promise.”
“Well, show me what you’ve got then, Rock Star, before I spontaneously combust.”
Tell me about it. My dick’s so hard it could pound metal.
I move back down her body, my hands, mouth, and tongue exploring every inch of her soft, golden skin. When I arrive at the jagged scar on her lower belly, I press a reverential kiss along the puckered skin, remembering how scared I was the day Valeria stabbed her in the yard, terrified I’d lost her. I look up, locking eyes with Zeta as my lips brush along the permanent reminder of that day.
“I know,” she whispers, understanding straightaway the thoughts rotating through my brain. She runs her fingers through my hair. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I rest my head on her stomach. “So fucking much.” I stay like that for a couple minutes until I’ve brushed the cobwebs aside. With a sly grin, I bury my tongue in her belly button, and she squirms, squealing as a warm smile spreads across my mouth. She screams, cursi
ng me out of it, when I bypass the promised land, licking my way down her leg instead. I chuckle, looking up at the furious expression on her face. “Patience, baby.”
She flips me the bird before flopping down on her back, moaning in frustration. I pick up her foot, moving my lips back up her leg, slowly, torturously, enjoying every flick of my tongue, drowning in her smell and taste, never getting enough. When I reach the ink on her upper thigh, I trace my fingers along the small lines of script, reading the words she imprinted on her skin with a lump in my throat.
Love is a place where hope and desperation lives
Because even though you’re gone
You’re still part of me
And I’ll always want you back
“Zeta.” I choke on the word, tears welling in my eyes.
She sits up, reaching down to caress my cheek. “It’s always been you, Ryder, and it always will be. Only ever you.”
I press my lips to hers in a fierce, needy kiss, grinding my hips against hers, wanting desperately to be at one with her but knowing I need to hold back. “I love you.” I lift my head up, staring into her beautiful eyes, eyes swimming in emotion like my own. “And I need you to understand that every song I’ve written, every word I’ve put to paper, has always been about you.” I point to the ink trailing from my left arm over my upper chest, tracing a finger behind the images painted on my skin until her eyes pop wide in recognition. “I wanted your name over my heart, but I wanted it private, just for me, so I buried it behind these images.” I pull her hand to my chest, placing it over her name. “Every time I felt lost, every time I felt alone, I pressed my hand over my heart, and it helped me find my way back.”
“Ryder.” Now, it’s her turn to choke up, and she presses her lips to the ink, kissing it reverently.
We kiss for a long time, pouring all our emotions into it, until it turns heated again, and my cock strains against my shorts. She’s making these little guttural noises as she squirms underneath me, and I need to take care of my girl.
Sliding my hand down between us, I push two fingers inside her warm, wet pussy, and she groans into my mouth, almost making me come. “Lie back, baby. It’s time to make good on my promise.” She sinks into the mattress with a sigh as I glide down her body, still pumping my fingers slowly in and out of her. Pushing her legs wide, I kneel at the apex of her thighs, parting her with my thumbs, my cock throbbing painfully at the sight of her glistening and ready. I swipe my finger along her slit, and her hips buck up. Lowering my mouth, I lick up and down her slit, while she moans and cries out, writhing on the bed like she can’t control herself.
She tastes so sweet, and addictive, and her alluring scent has me diving my tongue inside her channel as my finger rubs circles on her taut clit. I continue to stroke her with my tongue before moving my mouth to that sensitive bundle of nerves, sliding my index and middle fingers into her pussy the same time I push my pinky into her ass.
She explodes instantly, hips thrusting, back arching, as she screams out my name. I stay with her, riding her climax out, pumping my fingers and sucking her clit until she collapses on the bed, fully sated. I crawl up beside her, pulling her into my arms, peppering her gorgeous face with kisses.
Shoving her messy hair back off her face, she leans up, pressing her arms on my chest. “That was fucking incredible.” She traces her name on my chest with her finger, smiling, her face flushed in a rosy afterglow. “You’ve got skills, Rock Star, and I can’t wait to see what else you’ve got for me.”
“Oh, baby. That was only the entrée.” I cup her face, staring into her eyes. “When I make love to you, you’ll forget there was ever anyone else but me.”
“You’re already all I see,” she whispers, her eyes trekking down my body.
She slides her hand down toward my shorts, but I clasp her wrist, stopping her. “You don’t have to. This was about you. Not me.”
She sinks to her knees on the floor, pulling my legs down over the edge of the bed. “I’m not leaving you with a raging boner, and you’re not the only one who wants a taste.”
My cock jumps in my boxers, and she smiles, tugging my shorts down my legs. Flinging them aside, she rubs her hand back and forth over my boxers, against my straining cock, wetting her lips with her tongue. “Fuck, Rock Star. You hiding a snake in there?” Her lips quirk in amusement.
“Take them off and find out.”
Grabbing the end of my boxers, she yanks them down, and my cock springs forth, hard and already leaking precum. I’m so aroused I’ll probably come the instant her hot mouth takes me in.
“Shit. I was only joking. Didn’t realize you actually were hiding a snake.”
I smirk. I’m well hung, what can I say?
She lifts a brow, grinning as her tongue darts out, lapping up the cum seeping from the tip of my cock. I groan, my cock throbbing with need. She licks up and down my shaft while fisting her hand around the base and stroking me slowly. Stars burst behind my eyes, and a familiar tingle starts building at the base of my spine. “I’m not gonna last long, baby.”
Opening her mouth wide, she draws me inside, gliding her lips up and down my length while continuing to pump me at the base. I jerk my hips forward, grabbing the back of her head as I fuck her mouth, my balls tightening, spine tingling as my release builds. “Now, baby.” I attempt to pull out, but she suctions on, working her mouth and her hand harder and faster, and I detonate, shooting hot streams of cum down her throat. She doesn’t let go, milking my climax until she’s swallowed every last drop.
“Fucking hell.” I haul her up into my lap, circling my arms around her as I kiss her glistening lips. That was the best damn blowjob of my life. Tasting my essence on her tongue has my cock hardening underneath her ass again. “I’m never going to get enough of you, baby. I’m already insatiable, and I haven’t even fucked you yet.”
“We could rectify that now,” she says, moving her hips and repositioning herself so my cock is at the right angle to sink deep inside her. And it’s tempting. So fucking tempting. But I can’t make love to her until she knows the truth. Until she knows who I really am. The irony is I have enough courage in this moment to tell her everything, but we can’t have this conversation now, not with the surprise I’ve got lined up for her later, so, reluctantly, I slide her off my lap, seating her beside me.
“When we fuck for the first time, I intend to be inside you all night,” I say, pulling her hand to my lips for a kiss. “We don’t have time now, but soon, baby. I promise.”
“Oh my God!” Zeta shrieks when I return to the house from the airport later that night with my surprise in tow. Kayla and her fiancé, Gage, trot in after me, eyes bugging as they take in my place. Kayla races toward her friend, and they fling their arms around one another, hugging it out, screaming and crying.
“I think I just lost hearing in my eardrums,” Gage deadpans, holding his sleepy son, Lennon, in his arms.
I chuckle. “I’m glad Zeta has a friend like Kayla and that I could do this for them.”
“Yeah, and thanks, man. Kayla was so excited all week. She’s really missed her.”
The doorbell chimes, and I leave Gage with Micah and Gar while I go to grab the takeout I ordered.
After we’ve eaten, I take Kayla and Gage over to the guesthouse, introducing them to Scott and Linda. I was happy for them to stay in the main house, but Linda has all kinds of baby paraphernalia here, which makes it a better choice. Gage stays behind to get Lennon settled into his crib while Kayla comes back to the house with Zeta and me. Gar and Micah have cracked open a few beers, and we sit outside chatting until the early hours.
When we finally depart to bed, Zeta and I waste no time undressing one another, and we spend hours getting properly acquainted with each other’s bodies. Sex is still off the cards, but we find plenty of inventive way to make each other come, and I drift off to sleep feeling happ
y and sated.
“Does he really have to come with?” Zeta pouts the following morning, with her hands on her hips. “I mean no offense, Mike,” she rushes to assure my bodyguard, “but I don’t think we need protecting. We’re only bringing the baby for a walk, and we’ll do a little window shopping, maybe grab some ice cream. I doubt we’ll be in any danger.”
“There’s no point taking any chances,” Mike politely replies. “And I’ll be discreet. You won’t even know I’m there.”
“Baby.” I pull Zeta into my arms, peering into her eyes. “This is nonnegotiable. This is my life, and you’re a part of it now. You can’t go out alone anymore. There are plenty of crazies out there, and I won’t risk your safety.”
“No one even knows who I am to you, Ryder. And this is the Hamptons. It’s hardly the crime capital of the world.”
“Please, Zeta. I don’t want to fight with you about this. You only have the weekend with Kayla, and I want you to enjoy it. I won’t be able to relax if you go out unprotected.”
Her features immediately soften. “Fine. I don’t want you to worry.” She kisses me quickly, but I latch on, grabbing the back of her head and deepening the kiss, worshiping her mouth with my lips and my tongue, needing her to understand how much she means to me.
“My ovaries just exploded watching that,” Kayla voluntarily supplies. “If I can’t have any more babies, I’m totally blaming you.” She prods her finger in my chest, but she’s grinning.
“I think you’re good, Kayla. Gage’s super spunk won’t let you down,” Zeta says, winking.
My face contorts at my girl mentioning another guy’s jizz, but she just laughs. “See ya later, Rock Star. Try not to miss me too much!” She swats my butt, and they both laugh as they exit the kitchen with baby Lennon in his stroller and Mike faithfully holding up the rear.
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