by Kelly Oram
I stomped out of the infirmary, slamming the door behind me so hard I pulled it right through the door jam. I needed to stop doing that, but it always felt too good. Plus, it made for quite the impressive exit.
“Come back, Sunshine.” Ryan’s voice was slightly louder than normal, but still calm. He knew I’d hear him even though I was all the way down the hall already. “Please? Everybody’s really sorry, and you know I believed you. Of course we want to go with you to stop Donovan. Come back so we can hash out a solid plan.”
Curse Ryan and whatever magical hold he has over me! I was so angry, but he said please and called me Sunshine… I couldn’t ignore his request.
I stormed back to the infirmary, kicking the door in when it appeared to be jammed shut. “Fine,” I hissed to the shocked people gaping at the splintered door on the ground. “If you’re all ready to take me seriously, we can hash out a plan. In a while. I need some time to cool off first. I’m also starving, and I’d like to meet my parents for more than five seconds.”
I stomped out of the room again, yelling over my shoulder as I left. “Someone better open the front door to this damn cave for us, because I am not eating that sludge you’re trying to pass off as food in the cafeteria!”
I wasn’t completely pissed anymore, but I was still angry enough, and now I was just sort of being a pain to remind them whom they were dealing with. I hated being underestimated. So much.
“She’s quite volatile, isn’t she?” Geek mumbled after I’d gone.
I believe it was Shortstop who added, “Is she always that cranky when she’s hungry?”
Ryan’s chuckle was the last thing I heard before I made an effort to ignore them and find my parents.
Dinner ended up being a party of five—my parents, Becky, Ryan, and me. Part of me was surprised when Major Wilks gave Ryan the keys to a military-issue car and let us drive away from base. Deep down, I’d still wondered if he’d treat me like a prisoner. My parents felt the same way; I could tell. They relaxed a lot on the short drive into Colorado Springs.
We followed my nose—literally—to a cute place that served country home-cooking style food. We intended to go to a restaurant Ryan was familiar with, but when I caught the scent of stuffed bell peppers, dumplings, and baked cinnamon apples I forced them to pull over until I found the source of the deliciousness.
It wasn’t until we were seated—and I had an impossible time trying to choose just one thing to try—that everyone laughed at me. After giving the server my order, I noticed all of the smiles and frowned. I was out of the loop again. Freaking amnesia. I hated that. “What?”
“It’s nothing, sweetheart.” Mom’s eyes glossed over. She’d been randomly tearing up on and off nonstop since I met her. “It’s just comforting to see you acting like yourself.”
Her comment threw me off guard. I thought it would be relieving to hear that I was acting normal, but it was unsettling. What had I done that was so Jamie? And what if I’d done something different? I couldn’t win. Acting like my old self or acting like someone new, either way all of them were comparing me to my old self—a person I simply wasn’t anymore. I didn’t like the way they all constantly watched me, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to upset them. “What did I do?”
My father smiled. “A good, hearty home-cooked meal has always been your favorite, after an excellent slice of pizza. You take after me in that department.” He gave his stomach a proud pat. “Obviously.”
He wasn’t overweight, but he definitely had a soft middle.
“After the accident, when we realized eating was going to be a problem for you, I spent a lot of time learning how to cook,” Mom said. “It’s one of my favorite things to do now. It took me a while, but eventually I figured out your quirks, and you preferred a home-cooked meal rather than going to most restaurants.”
The story was like all of Ryan’s memories—bittersweet. How could I be so desperate to know everything they have to tell me about my life even though each time I hear something new, it hurts my heart so badly I want to scream?
As dinner went on, the frustration only grew. Before, it had only been Ryan that really knew me. Sitting at dinner with my boyfriend, my best friend, and my parents, I realized I couldn’t go back to my old life. I may have known who I was now—may have gotten my life back—but it would never truly be mine again.
These people knew a different person. They knew their daughter, or their best friend, or fiancée. They knew Jamie Baker. I looked like Jamie and even acted like her, but I wasn’t her. Not anymore. Not completely. I felt more like April O’Neil, the confused amnesiac girl who’d been living under a rock for six months. In a sense, I was April O’Neil, and only trying to be Jamie Baker. The realization was so depressing that I lost my appetite. I only picked at the apple cobbler à la mode that I ordered for dessert, even though it smelled heavenly.
Ryan noticed I wasn’t eating and frowned. “You okay, babe?”
“I’m fine.”
“You sure? Because you—”
“I said I’m fine.” The lights flickered. Obviously I wasn’t fine. I took a deep breath and grimaced at all of the shocked, concerned faces around the table. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I don’t want to talk about the past anymore. No more Jamie stories. The girl you’re talking about isn’t me.”
“Yes, it is,” Becky said.
“No. It was.” I met each of their gazes and shook my head. “Your Jamie died in that explosion. This—knowing the truth, meeting you all, getting my real life back—is all I’ve wanted for the last six months. But I see now that I can’t get it back. Stories aren’t memories. You’re all sitting here laughing and talking together like you’re family, and I’m this awkward outsider.”
Hurt flashed in my mother’s eyes. “Jamie, sweetheart, that’s not true.”
“It is true. Ryan is more your son than I am your daughter. I can’t be your Jamie. Without my memory, I’m not her. I’m just April O’Neil, the only girl I’ve been for as long as I can remember.”
I rose to my feet, filled with a new sense of determination. Ryan scrambled to his feet beside me and snatched my hand. “Jamie, where are you going?”
“Back to the base. Donovan has what I need, and I’m going to get it.”
He immediately shook his head. “Jamie, no. It’s too dangerous. We’ll—”
“I’m going.” I pulled my hand from his grasp. “If you want in on the mission, then I suggest you hurry back.”
I took off. At superspeed. I knew I’d probably hurt Ryan’s feelings, but if I’d stayed and driven back with him, we’d just have gotten in a fight. He wasn’t going to agree with this, and there was nothing he could say that would stop me. He didn’t understand. All he saw was the danger that lay ahead. To him, my life wasn’t worth the risk. For me, my life was already taken, so I had nothing to lose.
. . . . .
When I got back, Major Wilks was in the command center, talking to Geek. Both men were surprised to see me back so soon—and without my blonde-haired, blue-eyed shadow—but neither of them asked. I flashed the baby-faced computer wiz a smile, showing more confidence than I felt. I was embarrassed about losing it in front of everyone earlier, but I was not about to let anyone know it. “Hey, Geek. How’s it going? You crack Teddy’s microchips yet?”
Geek’s eyes glazed over at the mention of the impossible challenge. “Not even close.” He shook his head and laughed. “What I wouldn’t give to have a tenth of your friend’s capability. Do you think if we get him back he’ll show me how he did it?”
I smirked. There was no way Teddy would give up his tricks of the trade. “Would you, if you were him?”
Geek sighed.
I slapped his shoulder. “Sorry, my friend. But hey, considering the lies he told me, I’d be happy to torture the information out of him for you when we get him back.”
Geek squinted at me, unsure if I was joking or not. Honestly, I wasn’t sure myself.
>
Major Wilks broke the sudden silence by clearing his throat. “Angel.” He greeted me with a curt nod. “How was dinner with your parents and your friend? Are you feeling better?”
The fact that he didn’t bust me for my tantrum, though I totally deserved it, made me feel bad. He was a pretty decent guy, and I wasn’t making life easy for him. “Dinner was…harder than I expected. And no, I’m really not feeling any better.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” The man looked sincere in his sympathy. “I imagine things must be quite difficult for you right now. If you’d like, we have an excellent psychologist here on the base. She’s very good with soldiers dealing with post-traumatic stress and whatnot. She might be able to help you make sense of some of your emotions.”
I snorted. The guy basically just told me I could use a good shrink, but it was impossible to take any offense when the offer was so appealing. My head was enough of a mess that I could admit a little help would be nice. “I might take you up on that eventually, but if it’s all right with you, I’d rather focus on the mission right now and deal with my personal problems later.”
Major Wilks studied me for a moment before answering. “Are you sure you can handle it? We’re talking about a dangerous mission. As much as I’d value your help, I can’t afford it if you’re going to be unstable.”
Again, I couldn’t take offense to his comment. It was blunt, but very true. Still, just because I wasn’t offended didn’t mean I was going to give him a free pass. After plopping into the rolling chair at the empty workstation next to Geek’s, I rolled my eyes.
“Major. Not even considering all the stuff I’ve been through in the last few days—the attack from the superthugs that nearly killed me, Teddy’s betrayal, and all the other fun and exciting crap—not including that… I’d just woken up from my first dream, meaning I’d just realized it’s possible to get my memories back. And Ryan seriously seriously got into my head with that superkiss. So I was already completely overwhelmed, and then I remembered that I’d been unconscious because I’d been shot by the men I’d trusted to help me, only to learn that I’d been mind controlled into letting our only lead go, and I’d literally killed Tyson. I was panicking, and then you guys all dismissed the most logical solution I had. Not only that, but you treated me like some brainless damsel in distress. You’re lucky I only took out a door, and not the entire base.”
“Now wait a minute, Angel—”
I held up a hand. “Oh no, I’m not finished.”
Major Wilks’s eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched as if he really didn’t like me challenging him. To bad, so sad, because I was starting to get worked up again. “I get that I’m emotional and temperamental. I get that I’m just a scared and confused young woman, and not one of your trained soldiers. But let’s get one thing straight. I. Am. Not. Stupid. And it’s my life in the balance here. Not yours. You guys came to me for help. Don’t blow me off when I try to give it. That’s so not cool. It’s also the fastest way to lose my help altogether. I hate being underestimated, and I especially can’t tolerate condescension or pity. That’s all I ever got from Teddy, and I’m sick of it. Respect me or I’m gone. At this point, I don’t need your help. I’d like it, but I don’t need it. If you aren’t going to take me seriously, then I’ll go after Donovan myself.”
A side effect of being as powerful as I am: I’m not easily intimidated. Good for me. Bad for anyone in authority over me. I folded my arms tightly over my chest and met the major’s gaze with an unflinching stare. “Have I made myself clear enough now?”
As we stared each other down, I realized we’d gained an audience. Geek was the only ACE stationed in the command center, but it was still bustling with other military people doing other military-type tasks. Except now it was silent as people watched us. Geek wasn’t even breathing. Or blinking. He was frozen in place, his mouth hanging open as he stared at us.
Major Wilks’s eyes flicked around the room so swiftly I was probably the only one who noticed. He was a well-trained man, an elite soldier, constantly attentive to his surroundings. There was no doubt he was very aware of the people watching him, waiting to see what his reaction to my defiance would be. I was sure he also understood that this was a test. How he handled me right now would very much affect any future I had with the ACEs.
His eyes turned hard and he very calmly said, “You’ve made yourself crystal clear, Angel. And just so that I’m clear, if you were one of my soldiers, you’d be in the stockade right now for your insubordination. If you want my respect, then you will respect me as well. As your superior and commanding officer, whether you are officially one of my ACEs or not.”
His response so far was expected. He couldn’t let me walk all over him, especially not in front of his peers or subordinates. I stayed silent at the reproach. This was a test for me as well. Major Wilks couldn’t have a wild card on his team. If I couldn’t play nice, then he couldn’t use me. I understood this. Respected it, even. I was impressed that he was standing up to me in such a calm manner. He was a good leader, of that I was certain. But this wasn’t quite enough for me. I needed to know that he’d heard me and not just handled my defiance well. I gave him a small nod to show him I understood, and then waited.
I passed his test. He returned the nod and relaxed his stance just enough to be noticeable. “That said,” he continued, “you have a point.”
Geek sucked in a quiet gasp.
“You aren’t trained for this type of thing, and in a very brief time you’ve been through more physical and emotional trauma than many soldiers see in their entire military careers. And through it all, you have never acted impulsively or recklessly. I am well aware of what an intelligent and capable young woman you are, and of the sacrifices and risks you have been willing to take for our team. It was wrong of us to dismiss you so quickly. I apologize for that, and I assure you the rest of the team has realized their mistake as well. It won’t happen again. You have my word, Angel.”
That was more of an apology than I’d expected. I’d passed his test a minute ago, but he’d just passed mine with an A+. I took my time responding so as not to show my surprise. “Thank you, Major. In that case, I apologize for losing my temper earlier and walking out on you. I will try not to let it happen again.”
He raised an eyebrow at me and I grinned, shrugging. “I know better than to make promises I might not be able to keep.”
He tried to hold his poker face, but he cracked a smile and let out a soft chuckle. “All things considered, Angel, you’re a hell of a soldier.”
“Yippee. Just what I always wanted to be.” I rolled my eyes just in case Major Wilks missed my sarcasm—which he totally didn’t because it had been over the top—but deep down I was proud of the compliment.
The banter broke the stifling tension in the command center, replacing everyone’s shock with a sense of awe. I doubted there were very many people in the world willing to go toe-to-toe with Major Wilks, and even less who’d survived such an altercation.
I grinned at Geek again and he blinked at me. “That was…” He shook his head as he searched for a word. I expected him to say amazing or awesome or even stupid or insane. What came out of his mouth was, “So hot.”
“Hot? Really? That’s what you’re going with?”
He nodded. “I totally understand Romeo’s obsession now.”
Groaning, I rubbed my hand over my face and looked to Major Wilks for backup. He was no help, holding his hands up as if to say I was on my own this time. Well. I supposed I deserved that after reaming the guy in front of a room full of people. “Whatever. At least tell me you found something on Dr. Chen.”
Those were the magic words. Both Major Wilks and Geek sobered up as if they each had “serious” switches and I’d just flipped them. “The phone number you gave us is untraceable, just as you suspected. It’s a burner phone that we’ve tracked to a dead end. We can try to trace it when you call, but considering the tech these guys are using, I’m s
ure they’ll be set up to bounce the signal all over the world, and they’ll hang up long before we can get a reliable trace.”
I nodded. “Not surprising. And Chen?”
Geek shook his head. “The man’s a ghost. Doesn’t exist. That’s hard to do entirely.”
“But not impossible. Especially not for someone like Teddy.” I shrugged. “He and I both have several aliases that will pass as real but don’t technically exist. If he can do it, I’m sure others working for Donovan can do it. Or maybe Teddy’s the one who did it for Dr. Chen. You said he worked for Visticorp before the explosion, right? I assume they didn’t have him scrubbing toilets.”
“Very true,” Major Wilks agreed.
Geek sighed. “If that’s the case, then we’re doomed. Seriously, your friend is downright diabolical in his tech skills.”
“Or maybe he’s just diabolical in general,” I grumbled, thinking of how he’d basically held me hostage for six months so that he could woo me. I took a breath and tried to focus. “Okay, so calling and sending me in is our only option.” I met the major’s intense gaze with no fear. “What do we need to do to make it happen?”
Major Wilks hesitated, but I could see in his eyes that he was already on board. Without answering me directly, he picked up a phone on Geek’s desk and sent his voice through the PA system for the entire base, ordering all ACEs to the debriefing room immediately.
Adrenaline shot through me. This was it. Game on, Donovan. This is one Angel you won’t be happy to see.
We’d hashed out a somewhat desperate—and, I’ll admit, shoddy—plan by the time Ryan, my parents, and Becky arrived back on base and stormed into the debriefing room. Johnny G gave them a quick rundown, and when they were caught up Ryan turned his furious eyes, full of blazing blue fire, on me.
I’d fearlessly gone head-to-head with superthugs and a decorated military major, but I squirmed under Ryan’s angry gaze. “Jamie, this is a stupid plan and you know it. You’re going to get yourself captured or killed. You have no idea what you’re dealing with, but they will be ready for you. Just like last time. You’re being overconfident.”
