by Ember Rain
Still even with my new-found power and that which will come when I turn eighteen years old, I am still the good soul they wished I wasn't. Everything about me looks and says I am evil; the only way anyone can remotely tell I am any different from my parents is my eyes being a sparkling green instead of black like everyone else’s are in the underworld. My eye color raised many questions among the demon’s down here, but my parents explained it away as if it was something to do with the extreme powers I would have upon my ascension. After the explanation, the novelty of the topic wore off quickly but the mystery behind it hasn't, not for me at least.
I can't form words in response to my mother’s scolding, so I lower my eyes to the floor instead.
She taps her black stiletto heel at a steady rhythm waiting for me to answer her. Shit, I hate that sound. She tap, tappity, tap taps her stupid shoes every time she’s annoyed. The sound is ear-splitting obnoxious and if I don't say something, she'll just keep on doing it.
I sigh, “Sorry mother, I don't mean to anger you or father. I cannot make you understand who or why I am this way. Hell, I don't even know the answer to that or why I’m any different than every other demon child down here.” I say not wanting to go ahead with the fact that I don't care as much as I used to. My eyes raise to hers to show her how serious I am.
I will not hurt innocent, defenseless humans no matter how much torture they put me through or nasty drinks I have shoved down my throat. They can kill me for all I care at this point, I seethe in my mind keeping my eyes pinned on hers.
“Amariana, you realize you must change and prepare to rule the underworld in our absence someday and you cannot do that with all of that mushy shit in your head.” she tries to explain while flourishing her long lashes in dissatisfaction.
She is beautiful for being one of the universes most demonic females. Her long black hair is always perfectly straight, and her face is absurdly flawless. She is one of a kind in her own way and I do love her, but I cannot fight myself and my true feelings on the subject much longer.
She opens her lips to pour some more bullshit on me, but I raise my hand to prevent her from going any further with the lecture I have already heard too many times.
“Stop mom, it won't work. I am who I am and who I will always be so maybe you need to bare another child if you expect to have an heir to rule your kingdom.” I reply spent on this conversation.
It always leads to the same ending each damn time. Me angry, her hating me and father hating me more. The circle of disagreements is never-ending. I think letting my shoulders fall in exhaustion.
I clench my fists at my sides expecting another slap across my face, or worse a trip to the infirmary for another round of tests when my mother’s eyes cloud with anger and frustration instead. She is clearly upset with my suggestion and I am not sure why, it seems like the only choice if they are unable to change who I am. Without an heir my father’s position would be given to the other most powerful demon in the underworld, Malice. The two became close in the early years in the realm and Malice was tossed down wanting to follow his brother into the darkness in hopes of taking his rule of the realm from him. When my father discovered his plans, a rift formed between the brother’s and centuries later the feud continues for the rights to the throne. So, the story goes according to the history of our kind.
I understand my birth was the hope they have held on to that I was going to be the saving grace to their dilemma. A demon child born of both greatest demon’s bloodlines, a child who will hold more power than Diablo's brother or any of his children. However, to their shock and horror I may be more powerful but there has never been an ounce of evil running through my blood. I don't enjoy killing and destroying like they want me to. I would prefer helping and saving, it's who I am. I didn't ask to be this way, I just am.
“Amariana it's time you know the truth, take a seat.” Lilith claps her hands together and a chair appears behind me nearly knocking me down into a sitting position as quickly as it arrives. She summons a chair of her own and sits elegantly in her long silky red dress her legs slanted to the side perched regally on her seat. She smiles sadly when her eyes reach mine, a rare occurrence from her to say the least.
The only times I have seen her smile with an ounce of genuine emotion is when she is plotting the demise of the angel teams, the fae, and humans to taunt the angels and light fae that protect them. This smile is loaded with sadness behind it instead of evil glee sending alarm bells wailing in my head. Something is wrong here; I can sense it.
My mind races wondering what’s wrong with her, what is she about to tell me in this sit-down talk? Is she kicking me out of the underworld? Not that I would object after having requested to be released from here a million times already. So, what is this about? I narrow my eyes suspiciously at my mother as she swallows hard before opening her mouth to speak.
“Amariana, you have been my greatest achievement and yet my biggest disappointment all at the same. Your father and I knew from your incredibly early age that you were different, and we've tried to conceive another child for the last decade without any luck. This morning we were informed that the chances of us having another child would not be possible as it would outweigh the balance between good and evil.” She stops speaking as her brows scrunch together looking angry once again at the revelation that she wouldn't be able to have another child, another heir to her and father's kingdom of darkness and evil.
I hold back a smile as joy courses through me at the truth that another child that could inherit the evil within my parents blackened souls would not be born into this life, this horrible world. I sit stock still staring at my mother with a blank expression as she grieves for the child, she won't ever be able to have.
As a powerful High demon, she doesn't feel things like love and remorse, however there are certain times when I see a tiny bit of emotion behind her fake expressions, though. She makes a heroic effort of pushing it down before anyone notices that any feeling lies beneath her words, but it has never been lost on me.
I have often wondered if the goodness in me and in my soul has come from her, but I don't dare speak that aloud for fear that my father will blame her for his losing his only hope of the heir he so badly longs for. I could give a damn less if my uncle or his sons were given the throne as they are less powerful and if it came down to a fight I would no doubt fight against them all and win.
My eyes search hers silently looking for a spark of the good I know is there, buried somewhere, but I am met with a stony expression instead. I don't have words to add to her announcement. I wish I could say I am sorry and find empathy in me to make her feel better about her situation, but I can't when all I feel is relieved about it.
****
Lilith sits staring at her daughter, the child she's raised for seventeen years and has grown fonder of than a great demon should. Although, demons are not meant to love others, demon parents always hold a love in their hearts for their children, especially the mothers who carry the babies.
She sits in silence staring at her now grown up baby girl with the knowledge that her husband plans the girl’s demise at dusk. Her mind is a maze of confusion of what to do.
Let her husband take the one thing she has ever felt love for in all her immortal life or warn her to get her out of the underworld before the plans can be followed through, that is the million-dollar question running in circles in her mind since the moment Diablo informed her of his final decision after the visit from the seer.
Killing Amariana is something he has told Lilith only hours before they sit here face to face in the two chairs. He said he needed to do this before her birthday in hopes that the balance will be off once again, and he will have another chance of creating a new heir for their kingdom.
Of course, Lilith loves the idea of bearing another child but not at the expense of the one she already has and raised. She's stood her ground for seventeen long years and for all that time she's ordered thousands of different tests,
spells, and mixtures trying to change her child into the demon she was born to be. Never could she have expected that her flesh and blood would not only be born with a pure heart and soul but also remain that way no matter how hard she's tried to avoid it from happening.
Amariana is much more of an Angel than she ever was or will ever be a demon. She looks like most demons with her silky black hair that falls to the middle of her back with feathery wings as black as the night sky, but her eyes are a beautiful green and sparkle like that of an angel. Why is her soul not that of a demon's? Lilith's stomach is in knots as she prepares to say a very silent goodbye to her one and only daughter, knowing it is likely that Amariana will come into her power on her birthday coming in less than a few days and she will not be there to see her through the intense ascension she will endure. A day that's usually celebrated with Lilith and Diablo at a party held in her honor in the castle each year as is the tradition. Not this year, not this birthday.
Once this conversation is over, she will then be gone to both herself and Diablo forever. She, her beautiful daughter may even become an enemy to her own kind in time but that is a risk Lilith feels strongly she must take.
Worry sets in as my mother’s face changes from anger to sadness and then back to angry. I am confused at the changes in her disposition as her thoughts swirl inside of her mind. I feel overwhelmed with the intense sense of something being very wrong. Something bad is going to happen, I know it and can feel it in every fiber of my being.
“Mother?” I ask after a long and awkward silence between us.
She seems to shake away the thoughts plaguing her mind and places a smile on her lips that doesn't meet her eyes. I can tell she is forcing it.
“Amariana, I-I,” she stumbles over her words causing me to panic internally. She is always so composed and sure of herself and her words during our talks, but something about this conversation has her hand trembling as she sweeps her long hair over her left shoulder nervously.
“Just spit it out mom, you're scaring me.” I say as evenly toned as I can manage as my beating heart races in my chest with worry.
She lowers her voice to a whisper, glancing nervously over her shoulder at my father who is across the room speaking privately with his closest friend and ally, Sage.
Her black eyes lock on my green ones for a single moment, one I will never forget.
“Your father plans to have you killed tonight.” She warns and for a split second her eyes flash red and sadness crosses her face. She recovers quickly composing her expression back to the stony one that is more typical for her.
While she climbs to her feet the shuffle of her calling away her chair with a wave of her hand covers any remaining emotion her confession has left behind. Aside from the gentle squeeze she gives my hand to help me up from my own chair there is no hint that she’s said anything of significant importance written in her eyes.
“Now, go Amariana. I will stall as long as I am able.” She whispers. It may not have been a warm embrace, or a loving goodbye but it’s all I will get from her and I know this as well as I know my own name.
This is it, the final warning that I must leave the underworld and never look back. I am surprised my mother was the one to warn me of what was to come and that is a warm enough goodbye for me.
My heart soars and breaks at the same time, the thought emotionally overwhelming. I have wanted this for so long and now that it’s my only hope of survival a sadness blankets my heart for the loss of a family I never really had and a few of my trainers I have gotten close to over time.
Finally, my father's request for a nightly meeting with me makes sense. He'd sent my daily itinerary to my room this morning with Harris; I should have known then. I felt the meeting was an odd request, but never would I have thought his plans were so sinister. Pressure builds behind my eyes, tears threatening to escape down my cheeks. The betrayal isn't shocking but the pain of it makes my body tremble in anger. I take back missing him at all, in fact after this I will make it my mission to bring him down personally. I hope my mother isn't caught in the crossfire of my choices but it's possible that could happen. I don't have the power to overthrow my father yet and my mother no doubt will have to fight against me as well if I choose to stay and fight for my life tonight. I am not ready for that, but I will be. I resolve to myself knowing I now must put my plans in motion.
My mind is made up as I look between my mother and my father as she strolls in his direction no doubt creating a distraction, so I can slip from the room unnoticed.
I must get out of here, my mind whirls with the information and I bid my mother goodbye with my eyes when she looks back one last time in my direction. I hope she knows that I do really love her and am thankful for her warning. I give a small nod and slip quietly from the room.
I head left towards my room to pack a few things before I go, a list of things I will need for my travels sounding off in my head as I walk. It's the only thing keeping me from completely snapping in my state of panic.
My energy is all over the place so I walk as quickly as I can without looking like I’m in a rush. I force a smile on my lips when the two guards outside of my room come into view. Regan and Dylan give me their normal nods seeing me approach. I slow my pace to a more graceful walk as I pass them and head into my room. My heart beats wildly as I shove my list of necessities into a small bag before taking a last look around to be sure I have everything.
Of the entire palace this space was my sanctuary, my safe place. My heart cracks a little having to leave it behind.
Taking a deep breath, I move soundlessly over to the door leading to my balcony. I turn the knob slowly opening it carefully just enough to fit my thin frame through the opening. Once outside of the room I close the door behind me quietly.
I peer around the perimeter staying within the shadow of the overhang above before spreading my wings and lifting from the ground. I cut through the air straight up in elevation moving myself high enough above the ground to move unseen.
I have prepared myself for this, I remind myself mentally.
I only must make it to the portal, and I am out of here for good. I head in the direction of my planned escape route high above demons walking and flying all around below me.
The air is dense and dry, the heat almost unbearable the higher I get. Not much further and I reach the rip I had created between this level of the underworld and the top one where the portal to the human realm resides
My lips turn up in a smile when I reach the secret tear I had made between the levels of the realm. My heart pumps so loud in the silence around me as I cling to the top of the realm, holding myself in place with all my strength.
A feeling of triumph eases my anxiety as I wiggle my way through the glamour over the opening. I placed it strategically over the hole just enough for me to fit my small frame through it. I peer left and right to see if anyone is around where I will surface before continuing.
Good thing I had created it far enough to the edge of the flooring so no one would discover it by tripping on it. I call my wings away with my mind and relief floods my body as I peer back and forth grateful it is empty. I continue pulling myself through until I am standing beside the hole and the portal is within view.
Freedom, I think happily staring at the beautiful swirl of blue-tinted light ahead.
Goodbye, mother, and father. I hope to never see either of you again. I whisper keeping my eyes glued to the portal and prepare for the journey.
My adrenaline pumps, my senses on high alert of anyone who could have by chance seen my entrance into the upper realm. I don't come up here very often, but enough for no one to be instantly suspicious of my presence. I spin around to check the entrance a good length away behind where I had made my secret opening. I am relieved to find no one behind me, nor ahead.
Ring, ring, ring, the security bell sounds followed by loud voices yelling far below in the lower level of the realm. I jerk my head glancing behind me again before tu
rning back and sprinting towards the portal. The shrill alarm continues to sound off and is alerting the entire underworld of my escape. All my father’s guards will be headed this way knowing this is the only way anyone would go if they were escaping the realm, with it being the only way in and out.
I feel eerily calm and focused as my feet pound across the floor below me. My eyes fixed on the portal, blocking out all the noise coming from several directions now.
I glance around as much as I can while I run, surveying my surroundings for any incoming resistance but still not a demon in sight, this is seeming too easy. Warning bells go off in my head.
‘You can do this; you've prepared for this' I mutter the mantra aloud over and over until I am two more strides from reaching the portal.
At the speed I've been traveling the guards should be several minutes behind me, I continue mentally reasoning with myself.
Just before I'm able to get my feet off the ground to hurl into my exit. A tall figure jumps in front of me looking victorious.
“Fuck” I mutter as I stop only a foot or so away from his grasp. It’s Gunner, a demon around my same age who has always harassed me and enjoyed any misery I endured.
“Stop Amariana.” He orders.
I don't respond as my eyes focus in on his, blocking out the noise of the guards that have now reached the back side of the realm. I breathe in deeply pulling from my magic locking onto his mind ordering him to step aside. His face burns with fury as his feet move as I have asked involuntarily. His fists clench at his sides until I'm sure he will explode from fighting my onslaught of power on him.
Sucky for him he didn't bring a friend. Alone, he's got no hope to overpower me and being part of the elite part of my father's army he should’ve been smarter.
“You sure are loyal Gunner, but not going to catch me this time asshole.” I quip flashing him a big smile.
Once my path is clear I don’t think twice and hurl myself into the vortex letting the vertigo take over as I am forced upwards towards the human realm.
