Worth the Fight

by Beth Maria

  “I best get off too.”

  We both stand up, facing each other. The next thing I know, I’m being enveloped into a bone-crushing hug. It feels foreign. I’ve never been the cuddling type, so to receive affection throws me for a loop at times. Stiffly raising my arms, I place them around Harry’s lean frame, feeling his muscles underneath my touch.

  “You know where to find me if you need to chat. I’ll always make time for you, pretty lady.” Then he’s pulling away and walking back over to the counter and serving his customers, but not before turning my way and giving me a friendly smile and a cheeky wink. I quietly laugh. That guy is unbelievable, though I’m used to his flirting now. I have a feeling that Phoenix won’t understand it and the friendship that Harry and I share. That could cause a lot of problems in the future. I’m not going to cut Harry out of my life, though. He’s a true friend even if he is a little full on. That’s what makes Harry, Harry.

  I grab my Pandora bag before walking out of Coffee Beans, feeling genuinely happy. I have a feeling that things are going to start looking up for me from now on.

  Chapter Sixteen

  It’s been a whole week since I met Phoenix at Coffee Beans, and a whole week and a day since we had amazing, earth shattering sex. To be honest, this has been one of the longest weeks of my life. My life has become a routine: my morning marathon, shower, get ready for work, go to work, come home, cook dinner, and spend the evening texting or sometimes on the phone to Phoenix. It’s been the same thing every day for the past week. You’d think after speaking to each other as much as we have been recently that we’d have run out of things to talk about. That isn’t the case though. We’re constantly finding things to talk about, even if they are the most pointless of conversations. As long as we’re in contact, I don’t mind.

  Of course, there have been times where we haven’t been able to talk much, thanks to my father’s demands, but he always makes sure to text me as soon as he’s finished doing whatever he’s been doing. It’s an unspoken rule between us; I don’t ask, and he doesn’t tell me what he does. I’d rather not know because I know that I wouldn’t be happy with whatever it is. None of my father’s business is ever good business. It’s dangerous, and knowing that Phoenix is in the crossfire of that dangerous business doesn’t bode well with me. I don’t have any say in what he does with his life. He knows how I feel about it, so I guess it’s up to him now to decide whether he wants to keep living that life or not. All he needs to know is that I won’t be on his side forever if he does choose the wrong life.

  Harry was true to his word. We’ve gone back to the way we were- him flirting, and me paying no attention to it whatsoever. It’s the way I like things.

  Life is pretty amazing, if I do say so myself. I cannot remember a time where I was truly this happy. It’s still early days, but you know when you just have a good feeling that everything will be okay in the end? Yeah, I have that feeling. After everything that I’ve been through, I seriously think that it may be my time to be happy. I guess only time will tell.

  My cell phone buzzing stops my hand midair from doing another brush of my mascara. Quickly finishing off my lashes, I put the brush back in its tube, putting it away in my make-up bag. Then I grab my cell off of my dressing table next to me.

  Phoenix’s name stares back at me, and without thinking about it, a giddy sound flies out of my mouth. It happens every time I hear from him. I’m like that fifteen year old girl who was in love with Phoenix all those years ago. It’s pretty sad, considering I’m twenty-two years old and am gushing over a man who I’ve known mostly my whole life.

  I open the text.

  You busy?

  No, I was just getting ready. What’s wrong?

  I don’t have to wait long for a reply.

  Meet me at Coffee Beans in thirty minutes.

  Always being vague. Ok. I reply. I hate it when I get text messages like this. I never know whether he’s in a good or bad mood. I guess I will find out shortly.

  Already dressed, I put on my sneakers, and now that the weather is getting a little colder, slip on my leather jacket over my red tee before leaving my apartment and making my way slowly to Coffee Beans.

  I love fall, the oranges and browns coating the sidewalk. The sky is blue but filled with a few white fluffy clouds. It’s cold, but not cold enough for a coat, scarf, and hat. It’s definitely my favorite time of the year, with everything being pumpkin flavored, the spices warming and comforting; which reminds me that I am yet to have anything pumpkin flavored. I know exactly what I will be having today.

  The warmth from inside Coffee Beans envelopes me all at once, the smell of all the cocoa beans surrounding my senses and putting me into coffee overload. I love it. The bell above the door alerts Harry to my presense, his head lifting up from serving a customer and his happy eyes meeting mine. This guy is always working. I’m not going to complain. He makes the best coffee, and when he’s not here and somebody else takes my order, let’s just say that I’m sorely disappointed.

  I have a few minutes to decide what I want to drink. Do they do pumpkin spiced drinks? Ahh, there it is, right in the very last column.

  “The usual?” Harry asks when it’s my turn to order.

  “No, actually, I fancy something different,” I reply smugly.

  Harry gasps, putting his hand over his mouth in shock. I laugh. “Are you telling me that after three months, Emilia is deciding to order something different?”

  I laugh harder. Am I that predictable? “I think I am.”

  He blinks rapidly, going along with his joke. “Well, what would you like today then, sugar?”

  “Hmm, I think I would like a pumpkin spiced coffee.”

  “Coming right up.” He sets about making my drink. Cakes of all sorts are displayed in a cabinet on the counter, tempting me to try them. They look beautiful; muffins, slices of cake, and cookies. I can’t remember the last time I indulged in my sweet tooth. Maybe today? “I see you eyeing up the cakes. Why don’t you have one? They really are as good as they look.”

  “Are you trying to tempt me?”

  He’s right though. They really do look good. My mouth is watering just from the thought of what they will taste like melting in my mouth, the chocolaty goodness teasing my taste buds. I think it’s been way too long since I’ve let myself have a treat like this.

  “Go on, give into temptation,” Harry whispers, his eyes drifting toward the cake stand before facing me again.

  “Are you sure you’re not the devil?” I question sarcastically.

  “I can be anything you would like me to be, sugar.” He winks.

  “She wants you to stop flirting with her and move back a step. That’s what she would like.”

  I sigh, loudly.

  Harry’s whole demeanor changes in that split second, going from laidback to uptight. It grates on my nerves. Harry shouldn’t try to be somebody that he’s not, and Phoenix should respect that. I know that I’m going to have to drill it into his head a little bit more that Harry and I are just friends.

  I twist my body, my hand on my hip and my eyes shooting lasers into his icy blues, which are rather intense right now. I can feel myself wavering, forgetting about what I was going to warn him about. Don’t let his hypnotizing ways distract you. Think of Harry! I shake my head and try to focus, not allowing his icy blues the power that they hold over me.

  “Phoenix!” I stress, begging with my eyes for him to stop.

  “No. You’re my woman, and I won’t stand for another man trying it on with you. Keep your words, hands, and your dirty thoughts to yourself, you understand?” Phoenix directs to Harry, his voice that cold one that holds power and can make a grown man quake in his boots. Harry looks exactly like all the other guys who are scared of Phoenix; that is, until I look at him, trying to feed some strength into him. I don’t want him to bow down to Phoenix. I’m not losing a good friend because Phoenix is being a caveman. I’m not even his woman yet. We haven’t defined
our relationship, and at this rate, there isn’t going to be one.

  “I think we will leave that up to Emilia to decide, shall we?” Oh, thank God. Harry has grown a set of balls!

  Phoenix audibly sighs. He knows exactly what I’m going to say. “I’m going to sit down.” As he walks off, I can’t help but let a little chuckle escape because I know that right now, he’s fighting with himself. Should he do something about Harry, or should he just listen to me?

  Harry sighs, a lot of tension leaving his body in one breath. “I thought he was going to beat my skull in for a second there,” he admits.

  “Ah, don’t worry. I wouldn’t allow that to happen.”

  “Maybe I should stay away? I think it would save you a lot of hassle.”

  “No, don’t you dare let him get to you. He’s just jealous, and if he wants me to be ‘his’ woman, as he so puts it, then he is going to have to get used to the fact that we are friends. I won’t allow him to ruin our friendship.” My tone is defensive.

  “Sugar, I don’t want to cause problems for you two. I mean, I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want your relationship to be over before it’s even had a chance to start. I don’t want to be known as a home wrecker,” he tells me honestly, sweeping the counter with a dishcloth for something to do.

  “You won’t. If he can’t accept that I’m going to have other friends apart from him, then there isn’t going to be a me and him.”

  “But-”

  I cut him off before he can give me any more excuses. “I’m starting to think that maybe you do want to get rid of me, Harry?”

  “Oh, no, that is definitely not the case.”

  “Good, because you’re stuck with me. Now, take my change and serve these antsy customers. I’ll see you tomorrow. Who knows, maybe I will try something else?” I wink, pick up my takeaway cup, and make my way over toward Phoenix, who is staring out of the window and no doubt still arguing with himself.

  I take the seat opposite him, sitting in the exact same place that we were in last week, and just watch him while I take a few sips of my drink. All of that drama has made it warm. It will have to do.

  We both sit in silence for a few minutes. Phoenix hasn’t even looked at me yet. I won’t let it show that it bothers me though. He was in the wrong, and he needs to realize that he can’t dictate who I can and can’t talk too.

  “Can I take you somewhere?” he pipes up a few minutes later when I’ve finished my pumpkin spice.

  “Are you joking with me?” I ask incredulously.

  “What?” He genuinely looks confused.

  “Jesus, Phoenix, are you bi-polar or something? A few minutes ago, you were going all caveman on me, and now you’re acting like nothing happened after spending a short while fighting with yourself?”

  “What’s the point in talking about it? You aren’t going to leave him alone.”

  “Can you hear yourself right now?” My voice is raising, grabbing the attention of other customers. “We’re not even together, and you’re demanding who I talk to. I won’t have it, Phoenix. You should know that better than anybody. I do what I want, and I won’t have anybody tell me what to do, especially you.”

  His eyes harden into little slits, the sharp blue of them penetrating into my soul.

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that you’ve been back in my life for all of two minutes, and you’re demanding. You’re becoming the jealous boyfriend, and we’re not even in a relationship.” I point out my arms, flailing around for emphasis.

  “How would you like it if a woman came in here right now and flirted with me, and you knew damn well that she fancied me? Tell me that you wouldn’t be jealous, Emilia.” He looks at me pointedly. He knows he’s got me exactly where he wants me right now. I can’t deny it either because I was jealous with Cindy.

  “That’s not fair…”

  “How isn’t it?”

  “Because…” I stutter for something to say. I’m stumped, and he knows it, judging by the smug look taking over his face. “Because me and Harry are just friends. You and Cindy fucked.” That word tastes vile on my tongue.

  “The only reason you two haven’t fucked is because you don’t want to. I bet he’s imagined fucking you multiple times. I bet he imagines it every time he sees you.”

  “Stop, please,” I ask.

  “Why? We both know it’s the truth. That guy over there wants to fuck your brains out, just like Cindy still wants to fuck mine too.”

  “Stop.” My voice is a whisper.

  “Do you see it now? Do you see why I’m jealous of him talking to you, being close to you? That guy doesn’t just want to be your friend, Emilia. It will do for now, but he won’t wait forever for you to make your mind up about whether you want him or not. One day he will make the decision for you both, and he won’t care if we’re together. Men don’t. If they want something, they fight for it, and I’m fighting for you. So call me jealous. Call me a caveman. I’m just fighting for what I want. How can I be punished for that?” He’s leaning forward over the table now, his face as close to mine as it can get. As he was speaking and moving forward, it’s like my body moved of its own accord; that or Phoenix has a bit of rope wrapped around my neck and was pulling me gently towards him.

  “You’re right. When you put it like that, I can’t punish you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “BUT,” I say, not finished. “I’m not just going to discard Harry like yesterday’s trash. He was the first friend I made around this area, and yes, I know that his feelings are different from mine, but I’ve also told him from day one that he doesn’t have a chance as long as my heart belongs to somebody else. He understands that, more so now that you’re back on the scene.”

  Phoenix leans back in the booth, crossing his arms over his chest like a petulant child having a tantrum. “Is he going to stop his flirting?”

  “Probably not, no. That is just his nature. He does it with a lot of ladies. I’ve learnt not to pay any attention to it, and I suggest you learn to do the same.”

  “How can you expect me to do that, Emilia? Turn a blind eye like I don’t see him chatting my woman up?”

  I’m getting exasperated now. This is what Phoenix does to me. He makes me so mad!

  “Phoenix, I’m not your woman!”

  His icy blues harden, and he leans forward again, getting up close to my face.

  “See, that is where you are wrong, my sweet Emilia. You always have been and always will be mine. We just had a few obstacles to jump over first. Now I’m back, and I’m claiming you again. Have you got a problem with that?”

  I swallow hard. I don’t know why, but him telling me that I’ve always been his woman is a huge turn on. I can’t speak.

  “I said, have you got a problem with that?” His voice is low, deadly, and serious.

  He’s using his powers that he has to hold me captive, stopping my voice from working to tell him where to shove his condescending words.

  “No.” I sigh, shaking my head at the same time, even though I want with all my might to say yes. If I weren’t sure before, I am now. Phoenix must be a magician with how he’s able to control me. I’m going to have to be careful, because if I thought that he was powerful when he was younger, that was nothing compared to now. I already knew that he could ruin me, but I think I may have been wrong. I think he could do one step worse – I think he could destroy me!

  “Good.” He relaxes back in the booth, a contented look on his face like the cat that’s just gotten the cream. I guess I’m the cream? “I want to take you somewhere today.”

  “Where?” It seems that he’s broken the spell, allowing me to speak once again.

  “It’s a surprise, but we have to leave now before it gets too late.” Phoenix doesn’t wait for my reply. He stands up and holds his hand out to me. I slip my small hand in his much larger one, shocks flying through my body at the contact. It’s been so long. I look up at him to see if he
felt it too. If he did, he’s giving nothing away. Maybe it’s just me then…

  As we walk out of Coffee Beans, I wave to Harry, who replies with a guarded smile. I don’t blame him. I stop in the parking lot. I don’t even know what Phoenix drives. That conversation has never come up. Why would it though? We weren’t close for the last few years.

  “I don’t even know what you drive,” I state, looking up at his tall frame towering over me.

  “Well, you’re about to find out.” He pulls my arm gently in the direction of a black Escalade. Fuck me, they are huge. I’ve never seen one up close and personal before now. People always go on about how they are a beast of a car, but their words don’t do it justice. It’s absolutely enormous and completely beautiful.

  “Wow,” is my only reply as we stop in front of the towering machine.

  “You like?” Phoenix asks me.

  “I love it. I’m a little jealous because now I want one.”

  “I’ll buy you one,” he says like it’s not a big deal.

  I turn around to face him, completely gob smacked. “Oh, no you wont! You will not spend that amount of money on me. Don’t be stupid!” I shake my head vehemently.

  He doesn’t say anything else on the subject, just leads me around to the passenger side and helps me jump in, and I say jump loosely, because it was more like a leap. After I’m seated comfortably in the passenger seat, Phoenix slams the door shut then makes his way to his door and gets into the vehicle with grace. I guess he’s had time to practice, and it helps that he is like a giant. Me, I’m short compared to him, and definitely not made for this car.

  Without saying a word, he starts the engine and swiftly pulls of out the parking space, heading in the opposite direction of my apartment. I don’t say a word, my thoughts consuming me. Shouldn’t I be angry with him right now for the way he had power over me for a few seconds, not allowing me to say what was really on my mind? Or should I swoon because he basically claimed me as his? My mind is overflowing with pros and cons about the situation that just transpired, both the scenarios outweighing the other.