“Let me kill him!” I scream, somehow finding my voice again. I’m fighting so hard against what Tasia is doing to me. I’m taking a step forward even though it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
“Stop,” she says.
I freeze again.
Uden is looking up at me, but he’s not laughing anymore. He’s terrified. He was poking fun about Tasia before, thinking I was just fucking around, but now he sees I have no choice. That terrifies him.
“You won’t touch him again unless I tell you to,” Tasia says confidently.
I look at her, trying to glare, but I feel the fight leaving my body—but the anger doesn’t go. I need some sort of release but she’s not letting me take it out on Uden. I can feel that if I try to get close to Uden weights of my own invisible tie to Tasia will bring me down. So I turn away from him, roar, and I rip at the railing on my side of the boat.
“This is a rental,” Imae mutters.
“Are you done?” Tasia asks.
I know that if I say I’m not done, she’ll make it so I am. I nod my head stiffly and simmer silently in my rage. The boat is too small for me to get any sort of distance between me and anyone else, but I do my best as Imae starts the boat and begins steering us back to shore.
“As soon as you get reception, Tasia, call Blade and tell her we need transport back. Arsen probably wouldn’t do well with all of that uncovered silver on his back if we made him fly us back. I noticed he was sluggish when he flew us here.” Imae says.
“I’ll do that,” Tasia says.
“Why so down, Arsen,” Imae asks, turning to me with a pouty lip. “Could it be because Uden knows Yuki’s location?”
Fuck her.
She keeps talking, unperturbed, “I can’t wait until we find Yuki. I can’t wait to see you execute her.”
THE EEA IS ABLE to transfer Uden to the PA Branch without too much trouble. They had to pay extra for the boat Arsen decided he wanted to ruin, but overall it wasn’t too big of a deal. We did what we set out to do. It’s another late night by the time we make it back to the base though.
The chains Imae used on Uden are really efficient. He didn’t give us any trouble at all after she had him bound. The chains pretty much immobilized him, and he’s stayed rather quiet. Arsen’s also been uncharacteristically quiet. Ever since we caught Uden, it’s like he’s shut down. Now that Uden is being transferred over to Valor, Arsen looks worried. His eyes keep flickering every which way, like he’s taking everything in, and then he keeps his gaze on Uden.
“Where are you taking him?” Arsen asks.
“We’re taking him to an isolated room where we can interrogate him,” Valor replies. “He is a wealth of information.”
Arsen shouts to Uden being led down the hall by the orange eyed angel, “You know they’re going to kill you in the end no matter what you say, right?”
Valor crosses her arms over the silver armor covering her chest.
Arsen growls. “How exactly do you plan on getting him to give up all his information? I’m sure he’s figured out on his own that you have no intention of letting him live.”
“Who said we have no intention of letting him live, Arsen?” Valor remarks. “We will certainly let him live if he helps us. We will simply take him back to Ilenima, the Dregs specifically.”
Arsen casts a worried look out into the hall as Uden disappears from sight. It looks like he’s going to rush off at any moment to chase after him.
“Torture isn’t a very efficient way to get someone to talk,” Valor informs.
“Is that right?” Arsen says with a fire in his eyes. “The oracle doesn’t seem to hold that same opinion.”
Valor’s eyes narrow slightly, but she doesn’t say anything.
“I’m going to get some sleep,” I say, testing whether I’m allowed to leave or not.
Valor nods. “Do that. Rest well. You did a good job, Tasia.”
I walk away, and I don’t look back as I start in the direction of my room, but then I deviate from that path. I don’t know why I’m not going straight to bed. Sleep is what my body needs and wants right now. Doing my job and sleeping is all I want to do anymore. Socializing tires me out because I feel so empty all of the time, but it’s because of that fatigue and emptiness that I’m taking a detour now.
I stop when I’m in front of Rynne’s door. I hold out my hand and knock quietly. I don’t know if he’s asleep already, or if he’s still awake. Even though I want to see him right now, I shouldn’t be too demanding. We all have a lot of important work to do, and if he’s sleeping, I’ll let him sleep.
When he doesn’t answer the door, I’m about to leave, but then a sound on the other side catches my attention. I press my ear to the door to try and figure out if I’m hearing something inside or something down the hall. The sound isn’t clear, but I’m sure it’s coming from inside of Rynne’s room. Is… is he crying?
That’s strange. I test the door to see if it’s locked by turning the handle. The door clicks open. I slowly open it wider. Inch by inch the dark room is revealed until I can see Rynne sitting on his bed, his back facing me. He’s sitting in the dark. He’s hunched over, resting his face in his hands.
“Rynne?” I say quietly.
The still figure inside moves. I can’t tell for sure, but it looks like he’s hastily wiping at his eyes. He stands up, turns around, and smiles, only a flash of white teeth in the heavy darkness.
“Hey,” he says. “You’re back. How’d it go?”
“You haven’t heard?” I ask. “We had to call in to get some help transferring Uden back. We did it.”
“That’s… great.”
I think about turning on the light, but I don’t. I thought Rynne would sound happier about our accomplishment, but there’s this melancholy feeling about him right now. His smile isn’t reaching as far as it should. I think his eyes are a little bloodshot, too.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Of course,” he responds. “I’m fine.”
His voice is tired and ragged when it usually has such a clear tone, a tone too pure for any human’s voice.
“You don’t sound fine,” I point out.
He turns away and sits back down on the edge of his bed. I don’t know what to think. I should be feeling something right now, like an urge to comfort him or something, but instead I feel irritated. I came here looking for a way to stop this empty feeling inside of me, but I’m greeted by more emptiness. I need something, or maybe I don’t. This is probably a mistake. I should be in my room getting sleep so that I’ll be revitalized for whatever comes tomorrow.
“I went out on patrol today,” Rynne says. “With Donovan. We ran into a woman who ended up being a werebeast. Actually, she came up to us. She was looking for help. She knew she’d been disappearing on nights with a full moon, and she knew something bad was happening whenever she did. She woke up with blood on her hands every time it happened, and she searched for help, but nobody could help her. I told her that nobody ever could. You know what she did after that?” He pauses. “She tried to kill herself.”
Well, that’s different. It makes things easier for Rynne and Donovan, though. There’s a twinge inside of my chest as I think those words, but then it disappears, leaving only the emptiness. Part of me says I should sit down beside Rynne, but the other part of me wants to run. Is he crying over this? Why would he be crying over this?
“Donovan and I followed her of course,” Rynne says. “She was having a hard time following through with her decision, so I offered her an aconite pill because I wanted to be sure of what she was. It revealed her true nature, and I killed her.” His last sentence comes out as barely a whisper, and his voice wobbles with every word. This time I’m sure he’s wiping his eyes. He is crying over this.
Why is he crying over this? He did the right thing. She was a monster. She would’ve kept killing people. He did the only thing he could do.
Why wouldn’t he cry over this?<
br />
I shake my head at the contradictory thoughts swirling around in my head.
“You’re wasting your tears on a lost cause when you could be searching for the demon that did this to her,” I say.
Rynne’s head jerks over his shoulder as he looks at me with wide blue eyes. His mouth is hanging open slightly. He says, “I haven’t just been wasting time. I’ve looked into everything I could about the demon that did this to her, but it’s not that simple. She didn’t know that much about him.” He stands up. “Wasted tears?” He walks to me. “This doesn’t make you feel sorry for her? The Tasia I know would be just as upset about this as I am, maybe even more so.”
He’s standing right in front of me now, and I have to tilt my head a little to look up at him. I reply, completely calm, “That woman did the right thing to try and off herself. You should be grateful for that at least. She made your job easier. We’re all doing what we can to save this messed up world. I’ve done a lot of crying, but there isn’t room for it anymore. I’m done crying.”
I don’t feel the need to cry anymore.
“Maybe we should break up,” I say suddenly. “I’m not even sure why we’re ‘together’ in the first place. It’s not like we even get to go out on dates or anything. There’s so much going on in our lives that it doesn’t make sense to even try dating or to be in a relationship. We have a lot of other things we need to think about instead.”
Rynne sputters, “W-what? What happened to you?”
“Nothing. I’m still me. Now I just see what’s important and what isn’t.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t understand. I’ve known you your entire life. I know you. This,” he gestures to me, “isn’t like you. You’ve always cared so much about everyone else. Sure, you’re introverted, but you care deeply. You never wanted to hurt anyone. But you don’t care about that anymore, do you? Demons and monsters are demons and monsters and there’s nothing more to it. People who get in your way are expendable. Have you forgotten that all the monsters you faced were made into what they are? Many of them didn’t ask for it. What about them? Do they deserve your pity?”
“Maybe you never knew me at all,” I say. My voice sounds detached, like it isn’t my voice. “This is me, and I’ve made my decision about what I’m doing. I’m going to stop the demons here. I’m going to make sure we clear them away from our world and the monsters with them. That’s the best way I can help anyone, and prevent the creation of future monsters. I’m doing everything I can, and tears don’t help. Thinking about anything but what I have to do, doesn’t help.”
I know what I said is right. I can’t have anything with Rynne while all of this is happening around us. I’m doing the right thing. I turn around and leave his room. I’m done here.
Rynne doesn’t follow me.
As I walk down the hall to my own room, I realize the reason I went to Rynne’s room was because I needed to break up with him. I’ve been feeling it somewhere deep inside of me for a while now, but everything seems so much clearer now. Things have been becoming clearer and clearer with each passing day. There is no place for me anywhere else until the demons are gone, and maybe not ever. Cassius said that if Rynne and I truly loved each other, he wouldn’t split us apart, but when all of this is over, maybe splitting us apart is the best thing he could do. If God wants balance, then Rynne and I can never be anything more than what we are: an angel and a human working side by side to set things right.
I’M PACING BACK and forth in one of the hunter base’s halls. I’m neither close to nor far from the empty storage room where they are keeping Uden; it’s the same room they kept me in. Valor said they wouldn’t kill him. She said they’ll allow him to live in the Dregs if he cooperates with them. She has no reason to be honest with me, but what she says scares me far more than if they were to simply torture Uden for information. If he sensed he was going to die anyway, there’s no way he would give the angels anything. He’s just a bit too stubborn for that. However, if they give him a chance to live, he’ll take it in exchange for what he knows. Because death is the scariest thing of all.
I slam my hands against a wall, holding back just enough not to break it, and then I press my forehead to the wall as well. What do I do now? If I could get in there and kill Uden, everything would be fine. I can sense they have an angel guarding him, probably the skittish orange eyed angel, and then I have my own angel babysitter with me. Imae is across the hall from me, standing against the opposite wall. She hasn’t said a word about my erratic behavior. It seems she doesn’t care anymore, or she’s trying not to, but I think I can see a glimmer of annoyance in her eyes. If I leave, she’ll follow me, and then I’ll end up having to go through two angels to kill Uden. That wouldn’t matter if I were in top form, but Tasia has me weak.
I look down the hall, in the direction Uden is being kept, and then I look in the opposite direction to see Tasia’s angel walking toward me. He isn’t standing straight like he normally does, with his head held high. He’s staring at the ground, and there’s an obvious frown on his face.
“You look like you just got dumped,” I bait him as I push off the wall.
The made angel looks up at me with the same fire in his eyes he had that night when he launched himself at me when I revealed myself among the demons and monsters at the base—though unlike them, I wasn’t there to destroy it. I was joking with my comment, but based on the reaction I’m getting, I must have hit the nail on the head.
“What did you do? Did Tasia decide you’re not all that perfect after all?” I taunt.
“Shut up!” He growls at me. He’s stands right up to me and bares his teeth. He’s shorter than I am, and I don’t feel threatened in the slightest. I chuckle in response.
“Boys, really,” Imae says as she walks over to us. “Rynne, you know better than to let Arsen rile you up like that. He’s just trying to get under your skin. He’s the one being neurotic, pacing back and forth down the hall without stopping.” She sighs. “Would you mind staying with him for a moment just so I can get a breather?” Then she adds, “Only a few minutes.”
“I can do that,” Rynne says with the slightest nod of his head.
“Thank you,” she says. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She dashes away from the hall, and probably the base entirely. She must be pretty sick of me if she has decided to leave me with a made angel. That or she doesn’t think I’ll be any trouble. This works out better for me. I won’t complain.
“You’re a pushover,” I say. “You could’ve told her to suck it up and do her duty, but instead you take over for her like a good dog.”
The made angel doesn’t repeat his outburst. He leans against the wall instead.
“Where were you going before your superior stopped you?” I ask. “It looked like you were in a hurry.”
“I was going to ask Uden some questions about a demon named Victor.”
“Victor?” I ask. “Why that particular demon?”
“Because I’m going to kill him,” the angel informs.
That earns him another laugh. “A made angel killing a natural demon would be quite a sight,” I say. “I’d pay to see it.”
He glares at me.
He’s no fun. Time to change tactics.
“I’ll go with you,” I say. “You don’t have to stop what you were about to do on account of me. You won’t even notice I’m there.”
“Why do you want to see him?” the angel asks.
“I don’t believe I said I did,” I reply.
“It’s not a hard conclusion to come to since you let him escape in the first place. Seems only natural you’d want to see him. I don’t know what your relation is to him or why you care, but that much is obvious.”
Snooty angel.
“We’re pals,” I say.
“You’re never straight with anyone, are you? Do you ever tell the truth?”
“I’ll tell the truth now,” I say. “I want to see Uden because I want to
kill him.” I smile.
The made angel is silent for a moment before he asks, “Why?”
“Does a demon need a reason to kill?” I ask.
“No, but you clearly have one. Are you trying to protect him? Or do you really want to kill him? Maybe you’re trying to protect someone else?”
I laugh. “Protect? How did that word get into this conversation? Demons don’t protect. Uden is a bastard, and I think it’d feel good to lay into him. His heart would taste fantastic, and all the life essence that comes with it. That’s all there is to it.”
“Did you really kill Tasia’s parents? You did, didn’t you?” he asks.
I raise an eyebrow. “Why would you ask me something like that? You’re not blaming that on your oracle too, are you?”
“Just answer the question,” he replies.
Is he trying to figure out when I’m lying and when I’m telling the truth? Well, let’s test him too.
“Not that it matters,” I say. “But no, I didn’t kill them.”
The angel doesn’t give anything away. I don’t know if he believes me or not, and I don’t really care.
“What will you do if I go to see Uden?” I ask. “Will you try to stop me? I could easily overpower you, and apparently you are no longer Tasia’s boyfriend. She probably wouldn’t hate me for hurting you now.” I smirk.
The angel doesn’t back down from my dominance display. “Good luck getting past the guard,” he says. “I know you’re supposed to be strong, but I also know your strength hasn’t quite lived up to what everybody believed it to be. Besides, you’re in a hunter base. You’ll be stopped before you can kill Uden.”
“Let’s put that to the test,” I challenge.
I’m gone. I speed away from the angel. His reaction is slow, and there’s no way he’s going to be able to catch me before I make it to Uden and kill him. He must realize that too, because he stops following me abruptly and takes a different course. Maybe he’s going to get his precious confidant.
The Pull of Destiny (Undying Love, Book 2) Page 34
