Hope noticed Grace watching her and forced a smile. “I was just calculating how much yarn we might need. What colors do you think you want?”
Grace smiled. “I don’t know. I haven’t allowed myself to think on it for fear I’d give it away. You’re the only people I’ve told, and I’d just as soon keep it a secret—for the time being, at least.”
Hope nodded. “A secret is something I understand quite well.”
Chapter
13
The Oregon City Bible Church suited Lance. He’d come here at Edward’s enthusiastic invitation, but it was knowing that Hope would be here that sealed the deal. And, just as Hope and Edward had told him, folks were welcoming.
“Before we conclude our services,” Pastor Masterson said, “I want to remind everyone that the Methodist Church is planning a citywide Fourth of July picnic this Thursday. We’re all to bring food for the celebration. I was also asked to announce that there will be a political meeting at four o’clock at the City Hotel to discuss state business. Those of you interested will want to attend. I would imagine there will be some discussion on Governor Lane’s resignation. Secretary of the Treasury Pritchette is acting governor in the meantime.”
Lance had been less surprised by the governor’s resignation than some. Governor Lane had been with the army in the Mexican War and had distinguished himself in such a way that he rose from colonel to brigadier general and won the appointment to governor of the Oregon Territory from President Polk. It was clear to the men who knew anything about Lane, however, that he aspired to higher political office—perhaps even the presidency.
The pastor led them in a final hymn and then dismissed the congregation. Lance sat several rows behind Hope and her family despite Edward inviting him to join them. He didn’t want to impose himself on the family. He did, however, plan to greet them and waited until they began to make their way down the aisle before he stepped out.
“There you are,” Edward said, coming toward Lance with his arm extended. They shook hands. “Mina thought you might like to join us for lunch.”
Lance wondered if Hope and her sisters would be joining them as well, but before he worked up the nerve to ask, Edward offered up the information.
“And don’t worry about whether there’s plenty to eat. My nieces were going to come, but Grace is still under the weather and begged off. So you might as well eat their share.”
“With the way your wife cooks, I could very well see myself doing just that.”
“So it’s settled then.” Edward turned as his five-year-old tugged on his coat. He bent low, and the boy whispered in his ear. Edward nodded and turned his son toward the door. “The call of nature,” he whispered as he passed Lance. “See you at the house.”
Lance greeted others around him but noted that Hope, as usual, had avoided the crowd and instead made her way to where the family horse and wagon waited. Politely excusing himself, Lance followed her outside.
“Hope, I wondered if we might talk a moment?”
She turned at the sound of his voice and nodded.
Lance caught up to her in two long strides and smiled. “I must start by saying you look lovely today.”
Hope blushed and looked away. “Thank you, but surely that isn’t what you stopped me for.”
He laughed. “Always to the point. I wondered if we might . . . that is, if you would accompany me to the Fourth of July events. I’d like to attend, but I don’t really know anyone.”
“What about Uncle Edward and his family or your army buddies?”
“Your uncle and his brood are a family and should be allowed to enjoy the festivities together. I don’t want Edward thinking he has to entertain me or take time away from his boys. As for my army friends, there weren’t that many. My sergeant and I were friends, but he’s been relocated to Fort Vancouver, and soon the rest will follow.”
She nodded. “I suppose there is sense in that, but honestly, you’ve been here for months. It seems you should have made friends with someone.”
“I have.” He grinned at her.
Hope narrowed her eyes and cocked her head slightly. “You haven’t forgotten that we’re just friends, have you? I’m not at all interested in romantic notions, and I’m certainly not looking for a husband.”
“Nor I a wife. You are quite free of emotional entanglements with me.” But even as he spoke, Lance wasn’t completely convinced of his words. He liked Hope very much—perhaps too much. He felt he’d seen her at her worst and would like to witness her at her best.
“I suppose it would be all right, then. I doubt Grace will feel up to going, so would you be opposed to Mercy accompanying us?”
“Not at all. I hope she’ll soon be a friend to me as well. In fact, I think she already is. She’s congenial with most everyone.”
“That’s true. Probably far too congenial,” Hope replied. “Mercy and I will drive in on Thursday morning around nine. We’ll have food to add to the picnic, and after that we’ll be free to walk around with you. I understand there are going to be games and even a play.”
“That sounds wonderful, but are you sure it wouldn’t be better for me to ride out to the farm and help you in? I could leave my horse and just ride back and forth with you and Mercy. I heard there’s to be a dance, and I wouldn’t want you to have to head home in the dark, alone.”
Hope considered that a moment. “I hadn’t figured on staying for the evening dance, but I know Mercy has her heart set on it. I was going to suggest she just stay in town with Uncle Edward and head home early the next day.”
“But you might be surprised at how much fun the dance will be.”
She shrugged. “I used to like them well enough.”
He could see she wasn’t convinced. “Look, if you stick around and come with me to the dance, we can keep an eye on Mercy. We don’t have to dance if you don’t want to.”
For several seconds she seemed to consider this. Finally, she looked up and gave him a nod. “Very well. If you want to ride out to our place, be there by eight thirty.”
He nodded and smiled. “I will be delighted to do exactly that.” Grace and Mercy arrived at that precise moment. “Good day to you both.” He still held his hat in one hand and gave a slight bow.
“It’s nice to see you, Lieutenant—Mr. Kenner,” Grace corrected. “I’m afraid I’m feeling a little tired and must be on my way.”
“Let me help you up.” Lance took hold of Grace’s waist as she started to climb into the wagon. He made certain she was seated before he turned to Mercy. “May I assist you as well, milady?”
Mercy laughed. “Why, thank you, fair knight.” She gave a deep curtsy and let Lance lift her into the back of the wagon.
He turned just in time to see Hope roll her eyes. She hiked up her skirt and climbed up into the wagon seat without waiting for him to help her. He might have laughed at her expression had he not known how sensitive she could be.
“I’ll see you Thursday,” he said to her.
Grace frowned and looked at Hope. “Thursday?”
“I’ll explain on the way home,” Hope said, then snapped the reins.
Fourth of July arrived a little overcast but dry. Hope finished loading the wagon by herself while Mercy tended to the sheep. Grace had been sick most of the morning, so Hope had insisted she go back to bed. She’d even offered to stay home with her, but Grace wouldn’t hear of it, reminding Hope that it was just the way of her condition and would pass soon enough.
When Lance arrived, Hope felt her own stomach give a flip. She wasn’t exactly queasy, but his appearance did disturb her system. Throughout the night, she’d thought about his accompanying them today. She’d wondered how she might react if he should forget his promise of friendship and press her for more.
“Is there more to load?” he asked, jumping down from his mount.
Hope shook her head. “No. You can put your horse over there. He’ll have plenty of water and grass.” She motioned to the pen, and
Lance’s gaze followed.
“Very well. I’ll be right back.”
Hope used the opportunity to return to the house one last time. She took up her sunbonnet and knotted the ties loosely around her neck. With one more check of the kitchen to see if she’d forgotten anything, she let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding.
It was hard to go to the Fourth of July celebration. Harder than she’d thought it would be. She hadn’t gone last year, and the year before that she’d been with the Brownings in California. Generally, she had stayed home during celebrations, and neither Grace nor Mercy or even Alex had tried to force her to do otherwise. This year she’d only planned to go because Grace intended to be there and Hope had promised Alex to watch over her. Now, however, Grace would remain home and Lance Kenner would round out their party. No doubt people would talk.
“There’s nothing to be done about it now,” she said to the empty room.
When she made it back to the wagon, Mercy was already seated in the back with the food, and Lance waited to hand Hope up to the wagon seat. She accepted his help and settled herself on the seat, and he climbed up and took his place beside her, as if this were how it had always been.
He took up the reins and turned to her. “Do you mind if I drive?”
“Not at all.”
The ride into town was pleasant, even more pleasant than Hope had anticipated. The sun was peeking out from the clouds, and the day looked promising. Mercy chattered on about some of the games being sponsored for the younger children. She had volunteered to help with one game where the children would try to toss coins into jars. Apparently the prize was a cookie.
Hope directed Lance to park the wagon at the sawmill. It reminded her of the day of the hanging, and she couldn’t help but glance in the direction where the gallows had stood. It was gone now, but Hope would never forget what she saw that day or the mood of the people.
Lance jumped down from the wagon. As Hope began to climb down, he grabbed hold of her and swung her to the ground.
He let go of her and stepped back, grinning. “See, you lived through it.”
“What?”
He laughed. “You lived through me driving the wagon, having to sit next to me, and then enduring my help getting down.”
She hated that he knew just how uncomfortable she’d been. “Yes, I suppose I’m no worse for the wear.”
“Hope, I need to get to my station,” Mercy said. “I’ll see you at the picnic.” She hurried away without waiting for Hope to reply.
“Well, I guess we’ll get no help from her.”
“What do you need me to do?”
Hope looked back at the wagon. “Uncle Edward has a small pen on the side of the mill. We can put the horses there.”
“Yes, I’m familiar.”
“Of course. Well, once the horses are tended, we need to deliver the food to the Methodist Church. I suppose we could try to drive it over, but with the crowds and some of the streets being roped off, I wasn’t sure it would be worth the effort.”
Lance walked to the back of the wagon. “Is this all you have?”
She smiled and shook her head as he hoisted the wooden crate as if it weighed nothing. “I figured we’d have to carry the items without the crate. It weighs quite a bit, but you make it seem an easy thing to bear.”
“I’ve lifted a lot heavier things during my time in the army and even working for your uncle.” He put the crate aside. “Now you stay here and guard the goods while I see to the horses.”
It took Lance no time at all to turn the horses loose. He bounded back to her, looking for all the world like he’d just won a grand prize. When he reached the wagon, he hoisted the crate up on his shoulder.
“You lead the way.”
Hope did just that, and once they’d turned over the food to the ladies at the church, she found a place for Lance to leave the crate of dishes they would use at the picnic.
“I never thought to bring dishes,” Lance said, frowning. “I’ve done well just to get the cabin back in shape for proper living. Tomorrow your uncle and I plan to start laying the new floor. As for food, well, I’ve either been eating with your uncle’s family or grabbing what I could in town. I’m not even sure I have dishes.”
Hope couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t worry, I brought some for you. I figured since you were going to be with us, it was only right.”
He looked relieved. “So what now?”
She shrugged. “I suppose we could walk around. I see some displays of woodworking that might interest you.” She started them in that direction.
“You seem much happier today,” Lance said, surprising her.
She looked up at him. “I suppose I am. I’m no longer afraid of Tomahas finding me, so that alone gives me relief. The trial is over and done with, and hopefully I’ll never be expected to speak on the massacre again.”
“Not unless you want to. And if that happens, I’m more than happy to listen. That’s what friends are for.”
Hope looked at him, wondering if he had any idea how difficult it had been for her to agree to accompany him to this celebration. Being in town was difficult, and it was made worse by the fact that there was no concrete purpose for her being there other than to have fun.
“I’d just as soon bury the past along with Tomahas.”
“I understand, but forgive me for asking—has his death put an end to all of your fears and worries?”
If anyone else had asked that question she would have put them in their place, but with Lance it was surprisingly different. Still, she wasn’t sure how to answer it. All around her were happy, laughing people, including women who had been with her at the massacre.
“Sometimes I don’t understand why the other women can move on with their lives and I can’t.”
Lance nodded and took her arm. “It’s been my experience in the army that no two wounds heal the same. One man might be laid up for weeks, even months with swelling and misery, while another is up and fighting the next day.”
She let him lead her down toward the river. “I suppose that makes sense.”
They passed a group of men who took off their hats and made themselves known. “Morning, Miss Hope. You gonna be at the dance tonight?” one of the men asked while the others nodded and awaited her answer with great expectation.
“Miss Hope is my date for the day, fellas,” Lance said. “You’ll have to find another.”
The men muttered and replaced their hats atop their heads, looking utterly downcast as Lance and Hope passed them by. They were well away from the group before she could no longer suppress a giggle.
Lance looked at her in such surprise that it only made the situation funnier. “I’m sorry.” She fought to control her laughter. “It’s just that . . . well, the look on their faces and the look on yours . . . it just reminded me of a bunch of little boys being reprimanded by their father.”
This made Lance smile. “I didn’t want them crowding in on my fun.”
Hope shook her head. “I doubt they’ll even try to dance with me now.”
“Good. That means I can have all your dances.”
She sobered. “I don’t know that I want to dance at all, so if you have your heart set on it, you may have to find another partner. Mercy might be willing to help you out.”
He shook his head. “Like I told you before, I don’t have to dance to have a good time with you, Hope. That’s the joy of being friends. We can always just sit and talk about everybody else and how badly they dance.”
A sense of relief washed over her. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
She spoke before thinking. “For being my friend. For not expecting anything else. For understanding why I feel as I do.”
He stopped, and from the look on his face, Hope momentarily thought she’d somehow offended him.
“I’m not sure I do . . . exactly understand. I don’t think it’s possible for a man to understand the feelings born ou
t of a situation like what you went through. But I do care, and I understand enough to know you still don’t feel safe most of the time.”
She turned away and looked out at the river. “That’s more than anyone else understands. But even the death of Tomahas and the others didn’t leave me with any real sense of . . . being settled. I wish it had. I suppose that’s the thing that bothers me most. I thought his death would finally lay everything to rest, but it hasn’t. I’m not sure I’ll ever feel safe in this territory.” She continued to look out at the water until she sensed Lance’s presence beside her.
“I figured his death would give you a sense of satisfaction. Didn’t it help in that way?”
“Why do you ask?” She turned to look at him. His face looked pained.
“A long time ago, a man caused my family a great deal of pain and suffering, and that led to the utter destruction of our family. My father and my two older brothers and I were all that was left after we lost my mother and little brother to yellow fever. Then a series of events happened, and this man whom I’ve long considered an enemy did something that led to the death of my oldest brother. Shortly after that, my other brother died too, and ironically enough that too was connected to the same man. That left just my father and me. I was filled with anger and hatred toward the man who had destroyed my family. I often thought that if I could just make him pay for what he’d done, then somehow it would negate all the misery. But when I hear you talk, I doubt that it would.”
Hope looked up at him. “I suppose it comes down to this. Revenge or even justice won’t undo what happened. It won’t bring the dead back to life or restore what was stolen, and while it might satisfy the requirements of the law, it satisfies very little for the heart.”
He nodded, and it was his turn to stare off at the water. He gave a heavy sigh. “My father would have said the same. In fact, before he died, he did say as much. He was able to put the past behind him—to see that what happened to my brothers was a tragic turn of events that no one could have foreseen. He told me he’d given so many years of his life to questioning how he might even the score or how he might have done things differently, and all he’d accomplished was losing those years of his life when he might have done something far more productive.”
Beloved Hope (Heart of the Frontier Book #2) Page 13
