Hard To Love

Home > Other > Hard To Love > Page 26
Hard To Love Page 26

by Ross, Sabrina


  “Sounds like you have everything under control,” I replied.

  “Is that okay?” he asked, putting me down.

  “Yes, its fine. I—I haven’t even told my mother yet,” I said.

  “We can go to Portland and take her out to dinner and tell her if you like,” he suggested.

  “I should have you plan the wedding. You seem more organized than I thought a man could be,” I replied with a chuckle.

  Claudia interjected, “Uh—men can’t be in charge of the wedding plans.” Nick looked at her perturbed.

  “Are you okay?” He pulled me close.

  “Yes.” I said lacing my fingers behind his head.

  “I’m not rushing this, am I?” he asked.

  “No, its fine,” I said.

  “You would tell me if it wasn’t okay, right?”

  “Yes,” I sighed. God, I loved him. “Yes, it’s fine.” I kissed him.

  “Okay, I’ll stay out of your hair.” He said kissed me, and then left with Mason in tow.

  When everyone was gone and Claudia and I were alone, she took my hand and pulled me over to the couch.

  “Is everything all right?” she asked.

  “Yes.” I let out a sigh. “Is it possible, to have someone love me this much?”

  “Yes.” She sighed with a smile. “I envy you both, you know. Nick has always been so respectful of other people’s feelings.

  He always thinks of everyone else over himself.”

  “I figured that out, our second day together.”

  “He is an incredible man. People adore him,” she added. “I have always looked up to him.”

  “I can see why,” I said, smiling.

  “So tell me. What are you envisioning for your big day?” she asked, taking my hand in hers.

  “Honestly, I never thought about it.” I said with a shrug.

  Claudia didn’t like my answer to much so instead we sat for hours, looking through magazines she brought over. We looked at bride dresses and bridesmaids gowns. I started to get excited more than I had thought I would be. Cassie arrived just after lunch, and she cried hugging me, congratulating me over and over. I asked her to be my maid of honour, and the crying began again. It was great to have my mind on the wedding rather than on the recent miscarriage.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Five months later…

  It was the day of the wedding and we were at the church. Cassie and my mother came in to find me sitting on the floor, out of my dress, in a panic.

  “What’s wrong?” my mother asked. “I don’t kno w,” I replied. “There is something in the pit of my stomach that I can’t explain.”

  Cassie knelt next to me, holding my hand, “Is it Nick?”

  “No!” I responded immediately. She looked up at my mother.

  “Is it too fast?” I asked, looking at her, then up at my mother.

  “Do you love Nick?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  She crouched in front of me. “Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?”

  “Yes.” I smiled.

  “Are you happy?” Her hand slipped in mine as she helped me up.

  “Yes.” My eyes started to well.

  “Then get dressed and marry your prince, sweetheart, because he is out there and he is waiting to hear you say those words.” The smile on my face was one of so much joy. My heart started to race and tears began to flow.

  “It just seems so unreal.” I sobbed but laughed at the same time.

  “You and Nick went through a lot to get where you are now.”

  “I know.” I hugged my mother so tightly that she coughed. “I can’t breathe, darling.” She laughed, letting me go.

  “Did you memorize your vows?” Cassie asked, pointing to her temple with a smile.

  “I did.” I sighed. I wanted to surprise Nick with my own vows.

  “You look great, by the way,” I said, hugging Cassie. She was in her grape-coloured A-line princess one-shoulder, knee-Length chiffon bridesmaid Dress.

  “Well, you’re the belle of the ball, so let’s get you in that gorgeous dress of yours,” she said, walking over to the cabinet.

  She gently removed my pure-white mermaid-style strapless dress with the ruffled top, chapel train and satin embroidered beadwork under the bust.

  “Ready?” she asked once I was in my dress. Sucking in a deep breath, let it out slowly then nodded. Cassie nodded, and left the room. My mother stood by the door, waiting for her cue. My mother was walking me down the aisle in place of my father.

  Once the music began, so did the butterflies in my stomach.

  “That’s our cue.” She smiled and held out her hand.

  As I walked down the aisle, the nerves didn’t calm one bit. Everyone smiled and snapped pictures as we walked past them. I finally got a clear view of Nick as we hit the middle of the aisle and my heart pounded in my chest. He looked dashing in his three- piece jet-black suit with satin lapels and white ascot. My mother hugged me, and then stepped away. Nick stepped forward, taking my hand, and I felt his hand shaking nervously, which made me feel better that I wasn’t the only one who was nervous.

  The officiant started the ceremony, lasting a little less than twenty minutes until we reached the most important part of the ceremony. “And so here you are today to say your marriage vows to each another. Mr. Porter, please go first. The ring please,” the officiant said, and Mason handed the ring to Nick. Nick reached out to take my hand in his. “Lauren, when I look in your eyes, I know I have found my home. In your heart, I have a love I never imagined existed. In your soul, I have found my mate. With you, I am whole. You make me laugh. You let me cry. You are my breath, my every heartbeat. I couldn’t imagine a single day without you. I am yours forever and always.” He slid the ring on my finger, and my body shook tremendously. Then he added, “Miss Miller, I give you this ring as a daily reminder of my love for you.”

  Sniffles from the crowd behind us could be heard. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, and the longer I stared, the more the urge to burst into tears became greater.

  “Miss Miller,” the officiant said, “the ring, please.” I turned to face Cassie and took the ring in my palm. I took Nick’s hand in mine, and as I spoke, my voice shook. “From the first moment we met and I looked into your eyes, I knew you were my inspiration and my soul’s fire. You taught me how to love, laugh and cry. Every day that we spend together, you fill me with joy. I’m in awe of you and blessed that you chose me. I am yours forever and always.” I slid the ring on his finger, never taking my eyes off him. Nick’s eyes began to water. “Mr. Porter, I give you this ring as a daily reminder of my love for you.” We both stood there, staring at each other. He mouthed “I love you,” and I reciprocated, smiling.

  “So now, by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife and invite you to kiss one another.” At this point I practically jumped in his arms, crushing his mouth with mine. We both whispered words of love before turning to face our family and friends. “Please put your hands together . . . Congratulations to the newlyweds!” Everyone stood, clapping as we walked back down the aisle.

  As soon as we were in the limo, I turned to Nick and planted a big kiss on his lips. Both of us were unable to stop smiling. Nick wrapped his arms around me, keeping me close.

  “Mrs. Porter.” He hugged me, kissing my forehead.

  “Has a nice ring to it,” I giggled. “No pun intended.”

  “I bet,” he said and kissed me.

  “You still haven’t told me where we are going on our honeymoon,” I said.

  “I told you it was a surprise, so you will have to wait and see,” he replied.

  “I love you, Nick.”

  “Forever and always.” he smiled, looking down at me with those sexy blue eyes.

  “Forever and always.” I reached up to kiss him.

  During the reception Mason came up to me, congratulating me. It was the most honest thing he had said to me in
months.

  “Thank you, Mason. That means a lot,” I said, touching his arm.

  He smiled at me, then leaned in and hugged me. “I wish you all the best. If you need anything, just let me know,” he said, sincerely.

  “Actually, Mason, Nick and I would like to talk to you,” I said, taking his arm and heading over to Nick. Nick caught my eye and started towards us, looking all handsome in his three-piece suit. Nick took my other arm and we walked out to the patio.

  “What’s going on?” Mason asked nervously.

  “Nick and I have talked about this a lot.” I looked at Nick, shaking my head playfully. “And we have decided that we want you to be the godfather of our baby.”

  “Huh?” he gulped, looking at me, then over at Nick, who was smiling proudly. “You’re pregnant?”

  “Yes, we found out two months ago. I’m four months along.”

  “You don’t even look it.”

  “The dress disguises it.” I laughed. “But thank you.”

  “Why me?” He asked. Nick and I glanced at each other, and then back at Mason.

  “Because you’re our family and we love you, Mason. As long as you can change your wild ways and commit to being a good role model to our child, then there is no one else we would rather have spending time with our baby,” I said.

  “I don’t know what to say.” He rubbed at his jaw.

  “You don’t have to answer right now. Think about it; then let us know. Claudia is the god mother. She is aware we are asking you and she didn’t oppose.”

  “Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll do it.”

  I grabbed him and hugged him tight. “Thank you.” I kissed his cheek. Then Nick came over and hugged him.

  “Thanks,” he said, pulling away.

  “I’m surprised you would pick me after everything—”

  “Mason, haven’t you learned by now that I do not hold a grudge, ever? Honestly, life is way too short to be angry or hateful. You didn’t try to kill me or anyone I love, so I have no reason to hate you,” I replied. He nodded, speechless.

  Together we went back in to enjoy the rest of the party.

  EPILOGUE

  On the day that our son, Jaxon, was born, a tragedy befell our family. During the hours of our son’s birth, Mason wrapped his Ferrari around a lamp post and died on the way to the hospital. He had been drinking . . . unable to get his demons under control, instead letting them control him.

  The funeral was a few days later, and with heavy hearts we lined up in the room to accept empty sorrow-filled hugs from people who had known him. Sadly, he would never know how many people loved and cherished him, including me. Jaxon had woken and started crying, so I left the room and sat alone in an empty visiting room. Tears streaked my face.

  “Oh , Mason. Why didn’t you ever ask for help?” I sobbed into the Kleenex.

  “Because I was stubborn,” he said, and my head shot up. I looked around. No one was in the room. “He is beautiful.” I turned to find Mason standing over my shoulder.

  “Mason,” I cried. “Why?” I felt the coldness of his caress on my cheek.

  “I couldn’t get past my regrets.” He looked away. “I’m good now. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I didn’t mean to wrap my car around a post. I was being stupid, yes, but I was so angry that I didn’t think.”

  “We miss you.”

  “I know.” He knelt placing his hand on mine. “I’ll be around. He has a real guardian angel now.”

  “It would have been better to have you here for real.”

  “I’m truly sorry, for everything, for every pain I ever caused,” he replied.

  “I know.” I sighed.

  “Bye.” He waved, and then disappeared.

  “There you are.” Nick came walking around the corner.

  “Hey.” I looked up as he bent down to kiss me, rubbing the back of his fingers over our son’s cheek. “You want to go?” He asked.

  “No, I’m okay. I think Jaxon needed some space,” I replied.

  “Or mama did.” He kissed me again. “I’ll be back.”

  “Yes, go. I’m fine. We’ll be in here.” When he disappeared, I looked up to find Matt, my father and Mason all standing there, watching us. Then one by one they disappeared, and I whispered goodbye.

  Watching them lower M ason’s casket into the ground was hard. Only his immediate family were there. They allowed all of us one by one to shovel a pile of dirt into the hole. When everyone was done they walked away but I couldn’t leave. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Jaxon was sound asleep in my bosom and I held a red rose in my free hand looking down into the hole.

  “Let’s go babe.” Nick kissed me his back to the grave, tears weighing heavy in his eyes. I nodded then tossed the rose in the grave.

  “Good bye, Mason.” I said l ooking up as his ghost appeared. He stood with his hands in his pockets. I nodded, he nodded and I turned leaving him behind.

  THE END ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Sabrina Ross has a passion for writing and creating an alternate universe in her work. She has been writing since she was a child and always dreamed of becoming a published author. She is a selfpublished author of the Immortal Island Series as SL Ross currently available online.

  Copyright © 2014 Sabrina Ross All rights reserved.

 

 

 


‹ Prev