He got up to take care of the condom, and when he came out of the bathroom he picked up his briefs, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirrored headboard. He’d thought those mirrors would come into play during their interlude, but he’d been so entranced by Sophie, he’d forgotten all about them. Until now, as he put on his briefs and mentally prepared his exit speech.
He wasn’t sure he liked what he saw, and he definitely didn’t like the idea of an exit anything with Sophie. He swallowed against the truth of the man he’d become, or the man he always had been, feeling remorse about it for the first time in his life.
Sophie rolled onto her back, resting her arm across her forehead. She looked beautiful, with her eyes at half-mast and her hair a tousled mess from his hands. She made no move to cover herself up, and somewhere in his mind he cataloged that with satisfaction.
“Stay?” she asked sleepily.
“That’s not a good idea,” he answered tightly. Like his father, Brett had turned into a bitter, angry guy after Lorelei died. It wasn’t until he was older and poured that rage into working out that he learned to rein in his temper. Even still, unresolved anger lingered just below the surface, making him agitated and restless. That agitation hit him hardest in the mornings, and the only way for him to get through the day was to run or work out hard enough to settle his ghosts. As a rule, he never spent the night with women, but even if he did, he wanted to keep those morning hauntings away from Sophie.
The slightest frown curved her lips. “Then just hold me until I fall asleep?”
She lifted her hand in the sweetest invitation he’d ever been offered. He knew it was a bad idea, but as he stood beside the bed watching the woman he’d pursued for longer than he’d wanted anything in his life, how could he not accept it? He climbed into bed and gathered her in his arms.
As he drew the covers over them, he told himself the ache he felt at the thought of leaving meant nothing, that the warmth spreading through him was meaningless. But Brett had told Sophie the truth when he said he didn’t lie, and he couldn’t pull it off, even to himself.
She rested her fingers on his cheek and murmured, “You lied to me.”
He froze, wondering what she could possibly mean. He couldn’t remember ever lying to her. “I’d never lie to you.” He respected Sophie and genuinely liked who she was and how she treated people. He’d never risk hurting her.
She sighed again and snuggled in closer. “You said you’d give me everything, and then you wore me out so you didn’t have to.”
“So I didn’t have to?” He tipped up her chin and pressed his lips to hers. “You can’t really believe that. I’m ready to go again if you are.”
“Too tired,” she said with a yawn. “You owe me another night.”
In his heart he knew one night with Sophie would never be enough, but he also knew he wasn’t the white-picket-fence kind of guy Sophie wanted and deserved.
As he lay battling emotions he didn’t want to feel, Sophie dozed off.
A short while later he made his silent escape.
Chapter Four
SUNDAY MORNING SOPHIE ran on the treadmill like her life depended on it, and it sort of did. If she couldn’t outrun thoughts of Brett, which came with equally hefty doses of regret and desire, how could she possibly act normal when she saw him at the office tomorrow? She stared at her reflection in the mirror. The determined woman looking back at her didn’t appear any different from the one she’d seen in the mirror yesterday morning, but she felt nothing like that person. She felt raw and emotional. She’d known being intimate with Brett would be amazing, but she hadn’t expected to feel so much or that he’d leave with a piece of her heart in his hands. She saw Grace approaching and tried to convince herself not to share any more details about her and Brett’s tryst than she already had.
But come on.
How could she keep something so new, exciting, and terrifying to herself?
“Are you almost done chasing away your one-night stand?” Grace wiped the sweat from her face with a towel. They’d been working out together forever, and although they weren’t always able to connect in the mornings because Grace often had to work late in the evenings, they usually made it at least once on the weekends.
“I’m not sure that’s possible.” She slowed the treadmill to a walk. “I ran four miles instead of two. If this is what one-night stands do to a person, maybe I need more of them.”
“You do realize that in order to do that you’d need to have more than one horse in your stable. Otherwise you’re breaking in the stallion, not taking a single trail ride.” Grace pulled the ponytail holder from her hair. Dark waves tumbled around her face, making her eyes look even greener.
“Then line ’em up.” Sophie took a swig from her water bottle.
Grace laughed. “I’ve known you since we were playing patty-cake in the schoolyard. You could no sooner ‘line ’em up’ than I could.”
“Yeah, that is a problem.” She turned off the treadmill and followed Grace toward the locker room. “Why is it that our younger sisters have all the fun and none of the regret, and we’re wired for long-term relationships?”
“Because we’re the oldest, and that’s the way it works. We take care of them; they get in trouble. It’s sibling law or something.” She pulled open the locker room door. “After you, sexpot.”
“That’s Sexy Sophie, thank you very much.” As she said the words, it was Brett’s deep voice she heard saying it, and a wave of longing pushed through her. She dipped her head so Grace wouldn’t notice as she unlocked her locker and withdrew her sweatpants and sweatshirt.
Grace pulled on a sweatshirt and hoisted her gym bag over her shoulder. Leaning against the lockers, she watched Sophie intently. “It’s okay that one night didn’t break you of wanting him, Soph. It’s been forever since you’ve been with a man, so I’m sure you want seconds.”
Seconds? What if she wanted thirds, fourths, the whole darn meal? Ugh. She didn’t know what she wanted. Maybe a ticket out of town so she could escape before her heart got broken.
“No, it’s not okay,” Sophie said as she put on her sweatshirt. She pulled her sweatpants over her running shorts and stowed her water bottle in her gym bag. “I opened a door that I thought I could handle, but you weren’t there last night. You didn’t see the look in his eyes or feel the way he touched me, and his kisses. God, Grace. His kisses were…” She turned away, unable to put into words the way his kisses transported her to some wonderful, unearthly place and how he was right there with her, in the moment. And then he was gone…
“Forever kisses?” Grace moved into Sophie’s line of sight.
Sophie closed her eyes briefly. When she was a teenager and had her heart broken for the very first time, her mother had told her that the guy she was crying over wasn’t her forever love. When she’d asked how she would know who was, her mother had said, The man whose kisses last forever. Forever kisses remain long after he’s left the room.
“That’s it. You think he’s your forever-kiss guy.” Grace’s gaze softened. “Oh, Soph.” She hugged her with an empathetic expression. “Then maybe it’s not just a one-night thing.”
Sophie rolled her eyes and headed for the door feeling empty and confused. She didn’t want to feel this way about him, but those kisses…She could still feel the press of his lips, feel his tongue moving over hers, and what was worse, she could still feel the way he sank into those kisses like he felt it, too.
“Come on, Soph. Why not?”
“Because it’s Brett. He never goes out with a woman twice, and he makes no bones about it. We both knew what we were getting into.” She pushed through the door and walked into the gym. “And he’s working in our office tomorrow. How am I going to face him? What was I thinking?”
“That the guy you fantasize about swept you off your feet, introduced you to your idol, and then turned your world inside out.” As they passed the reception desk, Grace whispered, “Wave to Hot Guy.”
They both smiled and waved to the tall, blond, built new personal trainer.
“Nice workouts today, ladies.” He flashed a boyish smile that usually made Sophie melt.
She felt nothing. Not even a flutter.
“Brett broke me,” she said as they left the gym and blended into the crowd on the sidewalk.
“No, that’s just what he wants you to believe.”
“I didn’t even sigh when I saw Hot Guy. I felt nothing, Grace. Brett told me he would ruin me for all other men, and he was right.”
“Boy, Mr. Bad sure did a number on you. I still think you’re wrong about him and last night being a one-night stand. You’re an amazing woman, and no man can have you for just one spectacular night.”
“He can. Trust me. This is what he does. And it’s cool,” she said as nonchalantly as she could. “Whatever. I’ll get over him.”
Grace gave her a doubtful look. “Well, I don’t believe he’ll get over you. I think you’re too incredible to be forgotten.” She looped her arm through Sophie’s, guiding her toward the coffee vendor at the corner. “But I also don’t want to see you get hurt. You lived out your fantasy, which is more than most people get.”
A sad expression washed over Grace’s face, and Sophie wondered if it was empathy or if she was thinking about the guy she’d fallen for all those years ago before leaving him in search of a bigger life.
“Maybe it is time to move on,” Grace said, pulling her from her thoughts. “Just act normal at work tomorrow. You were used to blowing him off, so just do that.”
“Act normal? Blow him off?” She lowered her voice and said, “Did you forget I’ve actually blown the man? How can I pretend I haven’t seen him naked or had him inside me?” She leaned closer and said, “Not to mention, spending years dreaming about what it would be like to finally be in his arms and having those dreams obliterated by pure, sexual perfection.”
“Then we have to make it our mission to find some other hot guy to wine and dine you and make you forget him. Maybe we can change your search for forever kisses to a guy who dips his fruit in yogurt. Food compatibility is important.”
“Mm-hm. Sounds promising.” Even if she doubted it would ever happen, she could try. “Now what?”
“Coffee, of course. Isn’t that what we always do?” Grace ordered two lattes, and when Sophie took out her wallet, Grace covered it with her hand. “My treat. You’re in turmoil.”
After they got their coffee, they walked two blocks to the corner where they’d go their separate ways and Sophie would be left alone to deal with her thoughts.
Grace hugged her again and said, “Here’s the thing. I totally know where you’re coming from. You put your heart into last night, whether he knew it or not, even though you didn’t want to. You fell asleep in his arms and woke up alone, which feels awful regardless of whether you knew you would.”
“Like you would know about falling asleep in a guy’s arms and waking up alone?” Sophie teased. Grace was so busy with work, she rarely had time to relax, much less have overnight playdates.
“Remember that one time? The left-handed guy?” Grace shrugged. “Even we good girls go bad sometimes.”
Sophie was glad for the smile that brought, although Grace’s “bad” began with a lowercase B and hers didn’t.
“Give it a day or two,” Grace suggested. “See what happens and how you feel. It might be easier to handle him tomorrow than you think. And most importantly, don’t forget who you are, Sophie. The hottest legal assistant in the city. He’s a fool to stick to his one-night rule and let you slip through his fingers.”
“Thank you, Grace. I needed to be reminded of that.”
“Don’t forget, you’ve got your grandparents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary next weekend. I’m sure Nana and Poppi will have a nice single guy on hand to help you forget Mr. Everything.”
Sophie groaned. She adored visiting her family, but the last few times she’d gone home to Oak Falls, her grandparents tried to set her up with ‘nice, down-home fellas,’ and she’d had to wrangle Lindsay into playing interference so she could slip away. Her grandmother celebrated every holiday and event as if it were her last chance to do so, and their anniversary parties were big, all-day community events. Like Sophie, Grace usually went home to attend the parties, but she was mid-production on her play and wouldn’t be able to make it.
“Do not remind me,” Sophie said. “If you were going, I’d pawn him off on you this year instead of Lindsay.”
They talked about the party, and after another quick hug, Sophie headed home. She tipped her face up to the sun, enjoying the warmth as a breeze swept over her cheeks. It was a beautiful morning, and she’d kicked butt with her workout. Maybe Grace was right. She’d had her fantasy. It was time to move on before Brett Bad took up any more of her thoughts.
It’s his loss. The thought felt wrong when she was so full of hope.
As she waited at the crosswalk for the light to change, she remembered the way he’d sung to her and danced with her like they were the only people on the sidewalk. He hadn’t cared that people were watching them.
Is it your loss? Or is it mine?
She knew she was letting him cloud her thoughts again. He hadn’t minced words when he’d told her he couldn’t promise anything past last night. Why was she even bothering to hope for more? She crossed the street and made her way to her apartment building, deciding once and for all that she wasn’t going to do this to herself. It was the perfect day to take a book down to the park and disappear into a world of victims and villains.
An afternoon at the park was just what she needed before watching the football game. She loved football, and four o’clock couldn’t come fast enough. She entered the elevator feeling good about her decision, but as the doors closed, she was thrown right back to last night. She could feel Brett’s thumb on her lower lip and the heat of his gaze boring into her. Her pulse quickened, and she closed her eyes, but that only made the images of him more vibrant. She could smell him all around her.
She was losing her mind.
The elevator stopped on her floor and she bolted out of it, digging her keys from her bag. She looked down the hall, and her heart leapt into her throat at the sight of Brett leaning against the wall beside her door. His arms were crossed, and as their eyes connected, electricity blazed a path between them. Sophie swallowed hard, too confused to think. Her legs turned to noodles, but she forced herself to straighten her spine as he pushed from the wall, looking unfairly hot in a pair of running shorts and a sweaty shirt. His lips curved up in the same smile she’d seen at the bookstore, and she felt her resolve chip away.
She was not going to end up in bed with him again. Nope.
What if he was there to say last night was a mistake? That would be mortifying. Shit, shit, shit. Maybe she could get back into the elevator. Oh Lord, he was a few steps away, and his eyes smoldered.
No! Don’t smolder.
Smoldering made her knees weaker. She looked away, but it was too late. Lust simmered low in her belly, filling her up, streaming through her veins until it pulsed inside her like an animal needing release. She focused on unlocking the door and refused to look into his eyes.
“Hi,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt. “What are you doing here?” Please don’t say it was a mistake.
He followed her inside, swept her in his arms before the door even closed, and captured her lips in an intoxicatingly sweet kiss. Her bag and keys clunked to the floor as he backed her up against the door, forcing it closed. She told herself not to enjoy it, not to kiss him back. But he took the kiss deeper, held her tighter, and her thoughts spun away. She couldn’t remember why she shouldn’t enjoy him, and as a needy noise slipped from her lungs and he smiled against her lips, she stopped trying and surrendered to their passion.
Her arms circled his neck, and he eased his efforts, placing a series of feathery kisses on her lips, her cheek, her jaw, and a single t
antalizing kiss on the hollow of her throat. There was a dreamy intimacy in every touch of his lips, but it was the intensity of his gaze that had her holding him tighter, hoping for more.
“You wanted everything,” he said heatedly.
“Yes.” She was unsure if he meant between them, or sexually, and right then she didn’t care which.
“I can’t promise you tomorrow, but I couldn’t leave you wondering what our everything would feel like.”
“Me?” she asked hastily. “Or you couldn’t be left wondering?”
His gaze moved over her face for so long, she thought he might not answer. And when he touched his forehead to hers and said, “Both,” a laugh of shock and disbelief fell from her lips.
“Both?” she repeated. Elation danced inside her.
“I can’t promise more.” Pained honesty brimmed his eyes. “I’m not a more guy. You know that, right?”
She nodded. As much as it hurt to hear it, she knew it was a huge step that he was standing there with her, wanting seconds as much as she did. “I know. I don’t need more.” She wanted more, but she knew want and need were two very different things.
“You do, and you deserve it, but I’ve never lied to you, and I’m not going to start now. Be sure you want this, Sophie. If you don’t, I’ll walk out that door and never bother you again.” A glimmer of heat rose in his eyes and he said, “Or at least I’ll try not to. No promises.”
She laughed again, feeling overwhelmed, excited, and frightened by the renewed hope swelling inside her. She’d always followed her heart, even when it hurt. Leaving home for the city was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but it was the right thing. She had a feeling this was the right thing, too. “I’m sure I want this. I want you.”
THERE HAD TO be sins wrapped up in offering a woman like Sophie another commitmentless tryst, but even if it landed him in hell, it would be worth it. He’d spent half the night hating himself for leaving her and the other half berating himself for being such a pussy. The whirlwind of emotions she’d unearthed in him were new and overwhelming. He’d hit the industrial gym in his home at three in the morning, hoping to work off his confusion, and then he’d crashed for a couple hours before meeting Dylan and Carson for a run. But every mile they’d covered was just another handful of minutes when his mind wandered back to Sophie. He had no idea how he’d ended up at her apartment, as his morning had blurred together. It was as if they were tethered by an unseen cord and he had no chance at staying away. As he claimed her luscious mouth in another steamy kiss, he couldn’t care less about the hows or whys. He was there, and she wanted him.
Bad Boys After Dark Page 6
