by Susan Crosby
“How’s baby Jamie?” Jenny asked her mother as they made and poured glasses of lemonade for everyone. Dori had brought a few dozen cookies, as well.
“Cute as a button. We stopped by the hospital on our way here.”
“And Annie and Mitch?”
“On cloud nine. How about you?” The look she gave her daughter was searching and curious but not demanding. She wouldn’t push Jenny for answers.
“I’m great. I’m sorry about the meltdown yesterday. Just an accumulation of stress that needed an outlet.”
Dori nodded. “You got yourself a good man, honey.”
“I know.” But he doesn’t want me. He’s just doing the right thing.
“Then you know that all you need to do to make him happy is to love him. Everything else will fall into place.” Dori held up a hand. “I’ve been observing. You’re holding back from him. I’m not asking you why. I’m giving you the benefit of my years of experience. Don’t hold back anything from him, good or bad. It’ll come back to bite you.”
Honesty. Win had made a point of it when they told their families about their situation. She should be as honest with him now. She should tell him she loved him, had loved him before, too, and all the years between.
Except...she really wanted to hear it from him first, as old-fashioned as that sounded. She’d worn her heart on her sleeve before. It was his turn now.
Patience. She needed to learn patience, something she wasn’t always good at. He, on the other hand, was the very definition of it.
After her family left, she found Win in the barn. “Would you like to take a drive to see the property?” she asked. “Or maybe you already have.”
“I trusted your research and plans. Yes, I would like that.”
“I’ll pack us a picnic.”
Win watched her walk away. Mine, he thought. All mine.
Satisfaction settled over him, which was different from contentment, but it would do for now. The week between finding out she was pregnant and having the ceremony had been rushed and stressful for them both. For him, getting the loan arranged, dealing with his father—who’d barely spoken to him since—and spending every dinner being scrutinized by her family had worn him down, and he wasn’t the one who was pregnant.
She came out of the house carrying a soft-sided thermal bag, the cardboard tube with the plans inside and a quilt, then they made the almost forty-five minute drive—much of it on an old, rock-studded dirt road—without saying much. Every so often he saw her eyes close for longer than a blink.
She came fully awake as they drove up the final stretch of road and reached the summit. Win rolled to a stop, turned off the engine and just sat there, staring.
“It’s really something, isn’t it?” she said, her gaze straight ahead, too.
He nodded, the view stealing his voice. The entire Red Valley stretched out in front of them, farms, fields and groves creating a perfect patchwork of color and texture. And smack in the center stood Gold Ridge Mountain, which even in late July was capped with snow. It towered, it glistened, it awed.
“Can you picture it?” Jenny asked, pointing. “The labyrinth over there. Row upon row of different varieties. Over there a gift shop, with an area where bridal parties can prepare. A distillery on the other side. Tucked back over among the trees, a B and B with a restaurant large enough to host receptions. Maybe even a spa. Think of the tourist draw. Imagine how beautiful it will be, and how incredible it will smell.”
He’d turned to look at her as she spoke. “I can see why you fell in love with it,” Win said at the rapture in her expression.
They climbed out of the truck and carried the plans to a dilapidated picnic table, unrolling the pages, examining the details and discussing what should be done first and when. They examined the old plants, which hadn’t been tended for years.
“They’re hardy, in general,” she said. “We can save money if we don’t have to replace everything, but it’s recommended they be replaced every five to ten years. It’s probably been at least five years for these. The English variety has a better scent, but the French yields more oil.”
“You know your family wants to help you clear the land and help with the planting, when the time comes. You need to let them, Jenny.”
“But—”
“You would do the same for any of them. In fact, you would insist on it. Can you grow from seed rather than buy plants?”
“I was thinking I could install a high tunnel greenhouse or two here and start from seed, yes. Although maybe I should just ask Annie if I could put one up on her property. We’ll probably be living there for a long time, anyway.”
He looked around. “Would you like to build a house here?”
She shrugged. “Maybe something above the gift shop to live in during those few months where we’d be open to the public. I have to learn to be patient. It’s going to take years to get everything done. And we’ll have a child to consider.”
Or two or three, he thought, anticipating the future, too.
“I’m hungry. Are you?” he asked.
They spread the quilt on the ground under a shady tree and ate sandwiches and potato salad, left over from their reception. He encouraged her to stretch out and close her eyes after they ate, her head in his lap. He ran his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp long after she’d fallen asleep.
Win studied the land as unemotionally as possible. It was Jenny’s dream, and he wanted to help her achieve it, but was it financially possible? He didn’t know. What he did know was that it was going to take time, energy and heavy equipment to prep the land. And man-hours. Lots of man-hours.
He couldn’t take on extra work for cash to help finance the venture and still have time to help out physically. She needed to let her family get involved.
After a half hour or so, she stirred, rolling onto her back and looking up at him, smiling. “Thanks. I needed that.”
“It’s been a good day. Tomorrow it’s back to the salt mines for us.”
“Are you sorry we didn’t go to the hotel in Medford that Mom and Dad arranged for us?”
“I’m not much of a hotel guy myself.”
“You just didn’t want to say no to the gift.” She sat up, sitting cross-legged, facing him.
He smiled slightly. Only an idiot would turn down a gift from his new in-laws. “It was thoughtful of them.”
She laughed.
“Being here takes me back,” he said, remembering that first summer, being outdoors every time they’d made love, although they’d never taken it slow and easy, or hesitated for any reason. They’d never known how much time and privacy they would have.
“We were lucky we never got caught. Really lucky,” Jenny said. She took advantage of how easy things were between them to ask, “How much did it hurt that your father didn’t come yesterday?”
“He said he wouldn’t, so it wasn’t a surprise.”
She gave him a steady look. “That wasn’t what I asked.”
“I know. It stung, okay? But I don’t have any expectations where he’s concerned.”
“Rose enjoyed herself, I think.”
He nodded. “I’m glad she defied him. She needs to get out more. If you don’t mind, maybe I’ll bring her to the farm with me for dinner sometimes when I get off work.”
“The more, the merrier.” She yawned. “You’d think I hadn’t already taken two naps today.”
She wanted to ask why he was holding back. Desire had always been strong between them. They’d made a baby out of that desire—twice.
So what was stopping him now?
Ask him. The words shouted in her head this time. If she wanted an answer, she should just ask. But then she waited too long.
“Time to head home,” he said.
And
because she was afraid of his reasons, she agreed.
Later, when they got in bed, he seemed to expect it to be like the night before. He gave her a light kiss and rolled away from her. After a long, tense minute, she curled up behind him and put her arm around him. He covered her hand with his...
And went to sleep.
She would have it out with him, get to the bottom of his hesitation. They’d always been able to talk to each other. What was different now? It should be even easier. They were well and truly married with nothing to stop them from making love.
Tomorrow, she decided before she closed her eyes. Yes, tomorrow. She’d waited long enough.
Chapter Ten
Jenny startled awake when the alarm clock went off at 5:00 a.m. the next morning. Win hurried into the room.
“Sorry. I thought I’d turned it off.”
“It’s all right.” She rose up on her elbows. He was dressed for work. “I should be a good wife and fix you breakfast, but I don’t think I could stand the smell of anything.”
“I’ll eat with the hands at the ranch.” He sat on the bed beside her and brushed her hair from her face, smiling. “The act of making breakfast doesn’t make someone a good wife.”
Now or never, she thought. He’d given her the perfect opening. “I’d like to be the kind of good wife who makes love with her husband.”
After a few seconds, he stood. “I gotta go.”
“Why won’t you talk to me about it, Win? You seemed relieved last night when I didn’t push you for sex. Please, just tell me. Anything is better than my guessing. You were so adamant about being honest with my parents. Shouldn’t you be honest with me, too?”
“Maybe tonight. Brody said he’d help you set up the booth at the market. I’ll meet you there after work,” he said tersely, not kissing her goodbye. “I’ll call the Realtor about putting an offer on the property.”
Jenny eyed the empty doorway. They’d had a good day yesterday, comfortable and relaxing. Now it looked like the honeymoon was over before it’d even begun.
She lay back and closed her eyes but couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally she got up, drank a glass of water and dealt with her morning sickness. She took a quick shower, ate a bowl of cereal then went out to the garden to pick the produce for tonight’s farmers’ market.
Last year Annie had U-pick Saturdays open to the public for her berries then later in the year, pumpkins, but this year she’d found a buyer in San Francisco for all of that. She’d earned her organic status and with the help of a local restaurateur had found a strong market for her produce, especially her specialty lettuces and potatoes.
Maybe that’s what she should be doing herself, Jenny thought, instead of her grandiose plans. Annie was smart. She’d specialized in a few products, lessening the chance for failure, whereas Jenny planned to enlarge her operation every year with a product that had a short selling period.
And now Win’s cash and credit would be tied up with her dream, possible or not. She had to succeed, for his sake as well as her own.
What had she gotten herself—and her patient husband—into? She could easily end up ruining his finances.
Talk about pressure....
Jenny worked for a couple of hours then stopped to eat a handful of blueberries and a piece of toast with peanut butter. She’d just tugged on her work gloves when a white compact pickup pulled into her driveway. Her sister, Haley.
“Good morning,” Haley said as she got out. She was the most serious of the Ryders. Ten years older than Jenny, they hadn’t been particularly close but had been finding their familial connection over the past couple years when Jenny came home on break. She was taller than Jenny and thinner, but they shared the same auburn hair and Ryder blue eyes.
“It’s my first full day off in weeks,” her sister said as they hugged. “We’ve been down two physical therapists, but they finally hired one. She started at the rehab facility this morning, so I figured I’d see if you needed any help.”
“I’m almost done. Want some lemonade? We can sit on the porch and talk.”
“Sure, thanks.” Haley followed Jenny into the house. “I stopped by the hospital. Mitch was picking up Annie and Jamie to take them home. Everyone is fine,” she added before Jenny could ask. “That baby is so stinkin’ cute.”
“I’ll go see them tomorrow. I have too much to do today.”
“How are you doing?”
If Annie had been there, Jenny would’ve confided in her, but she was hesitant to be as open with her sister. Which made no sense. “I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Okay, no, I’m not, but I’m working on it.” Tears pricked her eyes. “Sorry. Hormones.”
“Apparently. After all, I’ve seen you fall off a horse and not shed a single tear, even though you broke your wrist.”
“Because I was mad.” Jenny plucked a tissue from a box on the counter and dabbed her eyes, the deluge over as fast as it had come.
“I remember.” Haley accepted a glass of ice-cold lemonade. They went out to the porch. “I wanted to talk to you about Win’s father.”
“You know him?”
“I sat with Rose for a while on Saturday. Knowing I’m a PT, she mentioned that Shep seemed to be favoring his right leg, often limping by the end of the day, although he tries to hide it. Her imagination is going wild with possibilities, but he tells her it’s nothing and refuses to see a doctor.”
“If Rose can’t convince him, I don’t see how I can help.”
“I wasn’t thinking you so much as Win.”
Jenny sort of laughed. “Honestly, I might stand a better chance than Win. Their relationship is rocky, to say the least. Why do you think Rose told you and not Win?”
“Shep ordered her not to, so she figured this was the way around it. She didn’t specifically ask me to tell you and Win, but I know she expected me to.” Haley leaned forward. “Someone needs to get through to him, Jen. Maybe it’s deterioration that could be fixed with a knee or hip replacement. But maybe it’s more than that. Maybe he fell from his horse and didn’t tell anyone. The longer he puts it off, the less chance he has of a successful recovery and pain-free life.”
“What is it about cattlemen?” Jenny asked. “Dad’s the same way. If Mom weren’t there to push him about his health, he’d be as stupidly stubborn about it as Shep.”
“They pride themselves on their stoicism,” Haley said.
“Men,” Jenny said, summing it up, conveniently ignoring the fact that she had done the same thing when she’d broken her wrist.
They both laughed. “I imagine men say women in much the same way,” Haley said.
“But we’re perfect.”
“Uh-huh. So, to change the subject completely, do you think you’ll ever build a house on your ranch property?”
Vaughn and Mitch had built homes on theirs. None of the other siblings had yet, although they’d chosen their sites. “I don’t know how Win would feel about that. We can’t afford it right now, anyway, so we’re lucky that Annie is happy having us live here. Why? Are you thinking about building on yours?”
“Maybe. The owners of the house I’m renting are putting it on the market. I’m tired of paying money to someone else, but I’m not sure I want to be that far out of town.” She drew a circle on the wood planks with her toe. “I’ve been offered a job in Sacramento. I’d be heading up a team at a large rehab hospital. Lots of responsibility, and a huge increase in pay. Plus Sacramento’s been named the best city for singles for several years. It’s not too long a drive home, so I could be here for the big events.”
Jenny sat back, a little stunned. “I guess I never thought about any of us leaving home. If it’s what you want, of course you should do it. You can always come back.”
Haley shoved her
self off the glider, clearly agitated. “I haven’t told you everything, and I need to tell someone everything. Will you keep it to yourself?”
“Of course I will.” She joined her sister at the railing and rubbed her back. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve also been offered a different job. Do you remember Clint Boone?”
“Vaguely. He went on the rodeo circuit after high school. He’s still news in the Red Valley Press.”
Haley nodded. “Did you see he broke his pelvis and other assorted bones in a competition last week?”
“I missed that.”
“He’ll be ready for rehab at home sometime in the next few weeks, and has asked me to be his private PT.”
“Where?”
“On a spread he bought, maybe thirty miles from here.”
Jenny couldn’t get a handle on her sister’s mood. Why was she so agitated? It seemed simple. She’d been made two offers. Choose one and be done with it. “Is it good pay?”
“He’s mega rich, Jen, mostly from endorsements. He’s very popular on the circuit. I quoted him a rate I thought he’d laugh it was so high, but he said okay, when could I start?”
Jenny smiled. “Called your bluff. That’s interesting. I don’t see your problem, unless... Do the two of you have a history?”
“One-sided, but yes.”
“He pined for you?”
“No.”
“Ah. And you don’t think fourteen years of not seeing him is long enough to have killed that desire?”
“No.”
Haley’s tone was definite, which made Jen frown. “Why not?”
“I just know. If I see his picture in the paper or happen to catch him in an event being televised, that’s all it takes.”
“I’m not sure anyone happens to catch rodeo events on TV.”
Haley glowered, which made Jenny laugh.
