by Willow Rose
Tina stopped at the door. "Now, I checked on her a few hours ago and she was fine. Then I do my late rounds and see this." She pushed it open for Mia to enter. "You tell me what it is you see. Because I don’t know how to describe it."
Mia held her breath and walked inside. She spotted the girl in the bed, lying peacefully, deep asleep, and at first, she thought Tina had to be pulling her leg, but then she saw it. The girl was there, but she wasn't really there. It was like she was…flickering? Like a light bulb right before it goes out.
"What the…?" she looked at Tina, then back at the girl who was soon very clear, then looked like she was fading again.
"At first, I thought something was wrong with my eyes,” Tina said, “that I was going insane. But it didn't stop and now that you see it too, I know it's not just me. It was driving me insane. What do you think it is?"
"I…I don't know. I’ve never seen anything like it."
Mia walked closer. The girl's face was peaceful behind the tubes. Her heart rate was normal, she was getting enough liquid and salt from the drip. There was nothing physically wrong with her, according to the monitors.
"What shall we do?" Tina asked.
Mia shrugged, then pulled out her phone. She found the camera and held it up. "I don't know about you, but I want to document it. No one will ever believe us if we don't get it on video."
Chapter 30
Fort Lauderdale, January 2010
Anna wasn't quite herself all day. Julia didn't really know what to do for her, how to help her feel better. Now that she knew more about what went on in her life, or lives, it explained a lot more, but also raised a ton of new questions.
Julia was preparing dinner, peeling potatoes, while Anna was playing in the yard. Or rather sitting on the swing, staring at her shoes. She had been sitting like that for at least an hour. Julia opened the window and yelled for her to come inside. Anna did, walking with heavy steps into the kitchen.
Julia walked to the cabinet and pulled out a tin box of cookies she had baked the day before. She handed one to Anna.
"I thought we were eating dinner soon?"
Julia shrugged. "Not for at least an hour. I am sure you won't ruin your dinner with just one cookie, am I right?"
Anna sat down and ate. Julia poured her a glass of milk. She couldn't stop thinking about Lucas, the son she never got to hold in her arms. It had been the biggest sorrow in her life to lose a child before she even got to know him, but it brought a lot of comfort to know he was living his life somewhere else.
If only I could go with her and see him. Just once. I would like to be able to hold him, just once.
Julia poured herself a cup of coffee from the pot and sat across from Anna. The look in her daughter's eyes was way too grown up for a young child like her; she had always believed so, but now she understood why. She had seen so much more than most people did in an entire lifetime. To think that she traveled between all these magnificent worlds. She wanted to ask her so many questions, to know so much more, especially about Lucas, but she was also afraid of overwhelming the girl.
"You know, you were never given an Indian name,” she said and sipped her coffee. "Do you know what mine was?"
Anna shook her head.
"It's Hachi. It means Stream. I got it because I was unstoppable as a child, my mother said. Like the stream."
"Nanna calls me Blackbird."
Julia looked surprised. "Oh, so she has already given you one. I like that, I guess. Did she tell you why she chose that? Is it because we belong to the bird clan?"
Anna shook her head. "No. It's from that song."
"What song?"
"The one about the Blackbird. She says she chose that because I sing in the dead of night."
Julia wrinkled her forehead. "Like in the Beatles song?"
Anna nodded, "Yes, that one."
She started to hum the old song. Julia felt strange. It wasn't exactly the name she would have picked and she had to admit, she was slightly disappointed that she wasn't going to be able to pick a name for her own daughter. It was one of the privileges of being her mother. But if her grandmother had already chosen one, then she should honor that.
Anna, however, could see the disappointment on her mother's face and grabbed her hand in hers.
"She never told me how to say it in our language, though."
Julia smiled. Anna was always so considerate of her mother's feelings. She had always been like that.
"Do you know how to say Blackbird in Mikisukî?" she asked.
Julia chuckled. She had never been very good at their native languages. Her mother had only taught her very little when growing up.
"I think that LVSTE is black."
Anna nodded. "Okay."
"And I might be wrong but I think that FUSWV is bird." Julia shook her head. "But I don't know how to say blackbird."
Anna leaned back. "It's okay, Mommy."
Julia smiled again. "Alright, little Blackbird—who sings in the dead of night—do you want another cookie, maybe? I think there is time for just one more while I finish peeling the potatoes, am I right?"
Anna smiled and nodded eagerly. She seemed to have forgotten why she was so sad—at least for a little while. Julia might have to share her with other worlds, but she was still her mother. And mothers provided comfort when needed if nothing else.
Chapter 31
Fort Lauderdale, January 2010
They ate late. Andrew hardly spoke a word to them, a habit he had gotten into a lot lately. Julia tried with the small talk, but it was like he had no interest in really talking to them. Was he mad? She had asked him several times, but he told her he wasn't. Julia had believed he was just mourning the loss of his mother and given him his space to grieve.
But almost two years had passed now, and nothing seemed to have changed. Andrew just grew further and further away from his family and got more and more involved with his work on the faculty.
It was getting to a point where Julia no longer knew what to do about it. She feared she would never get her husband back, that he would distant himself so much there would be no turning back. It hurt her that she had no idea what was going on inside of him. He spent hours upon hours in his study on the weekends and had long days at the university during the week. Since the trip to Key West, they never did anything together again. Andrew seemed not to want to. Not even go for ice cream at the port like they used to on Sundays.
Julia had been visiting her Aunt Cora at the reservation quite a great deal lately. She was the closest relative she had left there, being her mother's sister. She was one of the elders at the reservation and filled with wisdom. And with everything that had been going on lately in her life, Julia needed someone to talk to. Andrew, of course, knew nothing about her visits and she wasn't going to tell him. It would only enrage him. It was like he blamed the reservation and his tribe for everything bad that had ever happened to him. Everyone deals with mourning in their own way, her aunt had told her when she had spoken to her about it. But Julia had a hard time still calling it mourning after all this time.
"I’m done," Anna said and swallowed the last bite.
Julia smiled. "Eat your carrot too."
"But, Mo-om. I don't have room for any more."
"One little carrot doesn't take up much room. Go ahead."
Anna did as she was told. She ate the carrot, then got up, taking her plate to the kitchen.
"Only twenty minutes to bedtime,” Julia said and looked at the clock. Usually, that would make Anna burst into a series of aw, really? But I was just…or I just need to…and can I get some extra time to…
But not today. Today, Anna just nodded and exhaled. "I’m tired. I think I'll go up and get my PJ's on."
She was anxious to get to bed, but also worried. Julia saw it all on her face and in her eyes. For the first time, Julia felt anxious too. What if she could never go back and see Lucas? Julia had finally learned about his existence and wanted desperately for Anna
to go and tell him that his mother knew he was alive, that she missed him. She wanted Anna to bring her news about him. To tell her about him, tell stories from when he was a baby, stuff she had missed. She had always kind of had the feeling that he was close by and wondered about him, if he was in the Heavens somewhere looking down at her, waiting for her to come.
"I'll be right up and tuck you in."
Anna went upstairs; Andrew left the table to go back to his study and read, while Julia cleaned up after dinner. She left a few plates before she rushed up to Anna, who was already in her bed, a book in her hand that she wasn't reading.
"You ready?" Julia said and sat on the edge of the bed.
Anna's eyes were wide. "What if…"
"Now, stop," Julia said. "No ifs or buts, okay? Whatever happens, happens. Hopefully, you’ll go back there. And you tell Lucas his mother says hi. Okay?"
Anna nodded. "I'm scared, Mommy."
Julia nodded. "Of course you are. But we don't know anything yet, okay? Just close your eyes and I'll sing you to sleep."
Anna closed her eyes and pulled her blanket up to cover her entire body. Julia looked at her while she dozed off, Julia singing Blackbird by the Beatles. Then, as she heard the girl's breathing get heavier, she whispered:
"Fly, Blackbird, fly."
Chapter 32
Fort Lauderdale, January 2010
WHEEZE. GASP. WHEEZE.
Anna's eyes shot wide open. She was gasping for air. The tubes hurt. Her throat felt so incredibly dry. Everything was spinning, her eyes finding it hard to stay open.
Then a set of eyes appeared between blinks. Anna gasped, frightened. Where was she? What happened? The eyes were smiling. A voice cut through the fog.
"Anna?"
Nanna!
"Don't try to speak, honey. I'll call a nurse."
The eyes disappeared. Anna's heart was racing in her chest. The sound of the machines beside her overpowered everything, along with the buzzing in her head. Without seeing her, she could still hear Nanna's voice loud and clear through the thick mist.
"Lucas, wake up. Your sister is awake; come talk to her while I get a nurse. Yes, yes, I’m sure. Now go."
Overwhelming dizziness made Anna close her eyes again, and when she opened them, Lucas was looking at her. He had crawled up on a chair and was leaning over her. "Anna?"
She smiled. The sight of his beautiful brown eyes caused a wave of relief to roll over her body. She opened her mouth to try and speak, but couldn't.
"I’m telling you, she just opened her eyes and looked at me," she heard her Nanna say as the door opened and two nurses stormed in.
I did it. I came back. I’m here again. Hurt and in pain, but I’m here. I’m not dead. I didn’t die.
A strange face appeared on the other side of the bed, then another one. A light was shone into her eyes.
"She's awake," the nurse said. "Get Dr. Anderson."
A while later, the tubes were removed and so were most of the monitors since she could breathe fine on her own. The doctor told Anna she had been lucky. She was badly bruised and needed to stay in the hospital for observation of some swelling in her brain, but other than that and, of course, the bruises and a broken arm, she had survived miraculously.
"You weren't hurt?" she asked Nanna when the doctor was gone and they were all alone again. Lucas wouldn't leave her bed. He sat on his knees on top of it, staring at her like he was afraid that if he blinked she might fall back out of consciousness again.
Nanna shook her head. "Not a scratch on either me or Lucas. You were the only one. I was afraid I had lost you. That was quite the scare. Me and Lucas were…well, afraid we wouldn't see you again."
Anna felt the warm tears roll across her cheeks. She reached for the cup of water. Her throat was still too dry to speak properly.
"Here, let me help you," Nanna said.
She grabbed the cup for her and held it up to her mouth. Anna drank greedily, spilled a little bit, then laid her head back on the pillow. She looked at Lucas and reached out her hand so he could grab it.
"I spoke to Mom," she said, then cleared her throat to get rid of the scratchy feeling. Her voice was hoarse. "I told her everything. About you. She says she thought she had lost you but always believed you were close by. She would love to see you and hold you." Anna stopped to catch her breath, then continued. "I promised to tell you she loves you."
Lucas' face lit up. Anna was so relieved to be back. She looked at Nanna. "She believes me now. She saw the bruises. I told her everything. At least I think she believed me. I even told her you call me Blackbird."
"Good. Good. I’m glad she's coming along. I’m sure your dad will too. Some day. Just give him time, hm?"
Nanna smiled widely. Anna hoped dearly that she would never have to choose between being with her or with her parents.
"The doctor says two to three days," Nanna said and handed her some more water to drink. "I think that means I can take you home the day after tomorrow, don't you? How does that sound? I still owe you some Frybread."
"And Sofkee," Lucas exclaimed.
"That too."
Chapter 33
Bushlake, January 2010
E.T. was sitting at her house when she saw it. She was flipping through stuff on YouTube when the site suggested she might be interested in this particular video. E.T. watched it till the end, her heart pounding hard in her chest. When it was over, she watched it again, then again, and finally once more just to be certain. She wasn't drunk; she hadn't been drinking for years.
"Finally," she said, laughing. She closed the laptop and rushed to her truck. The engine roared as she drove over the grass and into the street. "This is it, Gubba, my boy. This is finally it."
She ran a couple of red lights and received a couple of middle fingers, along with some blasting horns, but E.T. didn't care. She drove into the swamps, parked outside the homestead, and ran inside, slamming the door open.
"Gubba!"
The boy was still sleeping, lying on his side, his eyes closed. E.T. walked to him and yelled. "Get up, you lazy…"
"What's going on?"
Gubba sat up and rubbed his eyes. He had gotten a little chubby lately. Eight years of hiding in the swamps, doing absolutely nothing, could do that to you, but now it was over.
"The wait is over. Your wait is over,” she said, giggling, and placed the laptop on the small coffee table in front of him.
She had bought some furniture for him and they had put wood on the windows to make it look like the place was abandoned from the outside. They knew he would have to hide for quite some time, but eight years they had never imagined.
"What do you mean?" Gubba asked.
"I found her."
"Found who?"
"Your eyes. Look."
E.T. started the video and let Gubba watch. The girl in the video looked normal for a little while, lying in her hospital bed, tubes breathing for her.
“Nothing is happening," he said.
"Wait for it. There. You see it now?"
The girl was flickering. She was definitely flickering. It was the first time that E.T. knew of that someone had actually caught the flickering on video. Gubba watched the video till the end, and then looked up at E.T.
"It was some nurse at a hospital in Fort Lauderdale who posted it. She wrote the entire story beneath it. Apparently, she saw it happen in the middle of the night on her rounds. She and some other nurse saw this girl flickering and decided to video it. When they called the doctor, and the doctor finally arrived, the girl had stopped flickering. The doctor didn't believe them and they were both sent home on leave, with the note that they had been overworked and needed sleep. Not even the video convinced the doctor or anyone else they showed it to. Apparently, people find it easier to believe that there is something wrong with the camera, that there is a glitch of some sort in the recording than the fact that this girl is slipping in and out between worlds. Now the nurse-lady knew she wasn't going crazy,
she knew what she saw and wanted the world to see it, so she decided to upload the video and in the text, she tells the viewers to judge for themselves. Most people in the comments think it has been manipulated with, you know in a computer and stuff, I don't know much about that, but I do know it is real. You and me, Gubba, we know, don't we? We know, yes, we do. Pack up. We're taking a trip down south."
Chapter 34
Fort Lauderdale, January 2010
Julia hardly closed an eye all night. She tossed and turned for hours thinking about Lucas, wondering what he looked like and if she would ever get to see him for herself.
When the sun finally rose, she had just fallen asleep, but the rays of sunlight hit her through a crack in the curtain and woke her up. She gasped and sat up.
"Anna."
Andrew was still asleep as she jumped out and sneaked out of the bedroom. It was Sunday, so he could sleep in all he wanted to. Julia walked to Anna's bedroom, put an ear to the door, and listened. She wasn't awake yet.
Usually, Anna woke up at sunrise, so it couldn't be long. Julia thought about going in there and waiting, but her daughter needed sleep and Julia would feel awful if she accidentally woke her up. Instead, she decided to go downstairs and start making coffee. While the machine spurted the black substance out into the pot, Julia drummed her fingers on the kitchen table. She tried to sit still, but she couldn't. Instead, she decided to bake. Cooking always calmed her down, especially baking because of the kneading. Besides, Andrew and Anna loved to eat freshly baked bread for breakfast on the weekend. Beating the dough reminded Julia of her own childhood at the rez when her mother would bake and Julia would help her. She sighed as she prepared the bread and looked out the window onto the empty street. The neighborhood they lived in was nice, but also incredibly boring. There were never any kids playing in the streets, even though lived in a cul-de-sac. Where Julia grew up, there had been kids everywhere all the time. She had played outside all day. And they still did. When Julia, every now and then, sneaked off to visit her aunt, she would see them, playing ball, playing hide and go seek, or climbing the trees. She would have wished for Anna to have that in her life. Not to mention the closeness to her cousins.
