by Rachel Gray
Lovecraft used the term Other Gods, but the label Outer Gods is often used today. Lovecraft’s Other Gods are powerful deities within the Mythos—more powerful than the Old Ones (hey, they’re not trapped underwater, for one thing). These powerful deities mostly ignore humanity.
ELDER GODS
There are some folks out there who distinguish between Elder Gods and Other Gods, but Lovecraft used the two terms interchangeably. So we’ll go with that. Deities such as Nodens and Hypnos are designated as Elder Gods.
BRINGING SOME OF IT TOGETHER
The Great Old Ones, being not entirely of flesh and blood, can only exist when the stars are right (also known as when the stars are ready). If the stars are wrong, the Great Old Ones remain in a dormant state—not dead, but not alive, either. Since the Great Old Ones are not quite dead, they can communicate by means of telepathy. So they can invade the thoughts of humans in dreams, and whip up cultists into a frenzy. Hence, the Cult of Cthulhu and their persistent desire to awaken the Great Old One.
It’s not all sleeping and dreaming for Cthulhu. While in his subterranean slumber, he keeps the Great Old Ones preserved—and in stasis—using special spells; overall, they remain protected until the stars, and the earth, are ready for them. And when that time comes, Cthulhu and his Great Old One friends will arise from R’lyeh, resume reign over Earth, and serious chaos will ensue.
If this explanation didn’t clarify things for you, no problem. When you encounter one of these beings, trying to figure out what to call them will be the least of your worries.
Fortunately for everyone attending the conference, Webb managed to translate the inhuman-sounding phrase: “In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.”
With this final bit, Professor Angell’s notes came to an end. Angell’s great-nephew, Thurston, the fellow who’d uncovered all of this, was left intrigued, but with no ending to the tale of Cthulhu.
REMAIN VIGILANT
Deciding it was better to know than to live in ignorance, Thurston investigated the Cthulhu Cult further. At first he had little success, and nearly abandoned the quest. But then he stumbled across a newspaper article regarding the freighter Vigilant, which had arrived in port with the yacht Alert in tow.
The only survivor of the Alert, Norwegian sailor Gustaf Johansen, recounted how his schooner, Emma, had been attacked, unprovoked, by the Alert and its suspicious-looking crew. But the crew of the Emma boarded and overtook the yacht, killing the evil men.
Then, the Alert’s new crew landed on a small, uncharted island, and something really bad happened. And given it was so horrible, Johansen didn’t really like to talk about it. Naturally, this left the worst part of the events to be created by everyone else’s imagination.
PUTTING THE PUZZLE TOGETHER
After reading the newspaper article, Thurston had an epiphany. The unconnected clues in Professor Angell’s notes fit together in Thurston’s head. The earthquake and subsequent storm in late February caused a portion of the ancient city of R’lyeh to rise. With R’lyeh closer to the surface, and Cthulhu’s slumbering brain closer to humanity, the Great Old One’s malign thoughts tumbled into the nightmares of men.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN,
THE STARS ARE READY?”
It’s hard to say when the stars will be ready, or what this means. Some believe certain celestial bodies must align in order for the stars to be considered “right.” Others claim great, cosmic forces, beyond humanity’s understanding, are at work and will bring about an end time.
In any case, it’s guaranteed the world will end, at the hands (or claws) of the Great Old Ones. And it’s become quite popular to say, “The Stars are Right.” Give that one a call-out. It’s another line that’ll get an answer if enough people are within earshot.
Knowing this, the crew of the Alert—who were actually cultists of Cthulhu—ventured into the ocean to protect R’lyeh. It just so happens that the members of the Emma bested them (cultists are better on land than water).
In late March or early April, when another storm swept the area, R’lyeh was submerged once again. The weird dreams around the world suddenly and inexplicably (well, now explicably) halted.
YOU’RE NOT REALLY GOING TO OPEN THE DOOR WITH THE MONSTER ON IT, ARE YOU?
Thurston was certain he had deciphered the puzzle surrounding the Great Cthulhu. But his theory lacked one essential element: Evidence. However, this little bump didn’t stop him. Thurston hunted down a manuscript written by the late Johansen. In the document, it described the events on the terrible island—the things Johansen couldn’t bring himself to talk about in public. After landing, the sailors found an odd, alien city, comprised of eerily non-Euclidean angles (not a surprise). As they descended into the ruins, they came across a door marked with a squid-like, winged creature on it. So, of course, they tried to open it. And who should they find on the other side but a very grumpy Cthulhu (having just awakened).
In the horrifying events following the encounter, all but Johansen eventually died (he had a shipload of friends). They were grabbed by squishy tentacles, simply dropped to the ground from fright, or died later on the yacht; it was difficult to recall. Regardless, Johansen had scurried back to the Alert and started the engines, pushing them to top speed. But even going that fast, he knew it wasn’t possible to outrun the gigantic creature pursuing him. As a last ditch effort, he reversed direction, and careened straight into Cthulhu’s tentacled head.
To Johansen’s surprise, the monstrous head popped like a sack of gelatin. Even so, it immediately began to reassemble into its original form.
But that was time enough for Johansen to gain speed on the monster and escape. Later, Johansen was rescued and lived happily ever after (if that’s possible).
And it was a simple conclusion that the following great storm sent R’lyeh back to the depths of the ocean, and Cthulhu with it—likely realizing the stars weren’t quite right.
PREPARING FOR MEETING CTHULHU
For the readers who were diligent and read this book in its entirety—or had a friend read it aloud—then everything from Azathoth to Zoogs have been covered. This means on a scale of 1 to 10 of preparedness, the diligent reader is nearly at 10. It should also be pointed out that if a friend read the book aloud, then the friend is probably planning the old “friend reversal” trick at this moment (and has neglected to read the previous statement). Good for you, clever friend!
MYTHOS SURVIVAL TIP:
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT CTHULHU?
“Beat” is a relative term here. In all fairness, in the case of Johansen, Cthulhu was caught off guard, and most importantly, the stars were just not ready. And let’s not forget, the Great Cthulhu clearly didn’t want to move or think much. If so, he could have easily called upon other minions, used spells, telepathy, or myriad other weapons at his disposal to destroy Johansen.
Still, it does reveal that if Cthulhu is encountered before the appointed time, a clever person might slip away mostly unnoticed—maybe along with the assistance of some foul weather.
Many will take this tidbit as a gleam of hope. Don’t waste too much time on it. The odds of the same thing happening again are pretty slim. And let’s not forget, Johansen used every friend he had to pull this trick off. So, unless you literally have a ship loaded with pals to keep Cthulhu’s attention, things look pretty gloomy.
When it comes to meeting Cthulhu, the answer doesn’t rest with how to beat him in a fight, or cast him out of this reality. What’s more important is to understand when he makes his debut to humanity, how to see the signs, and how to be prepared, and how to stretch out those remaining days on Earth. Most likely, one of the countless other Cthulhu Mythos creatures will rip through the barrier between realities and wreak havoc long before Cthulhu reawakens. Most of these creatures can be handled with the proper knowledge and tools (e.g. friends).
HOW TO PREPARE FOR THE END
Reading this book is the best starting point. Honest.
Jump on the Internet and join as many social networks as possible. Think about it. Do you think Facebook became so popular just because people liked posting personal comments, and other people (better known as total strangers) liked reading those comments? Nope. When looked at properly, “Friending” becomes something completely different thanks to social networking. So get things rolling. Add a few thousand friends to your life.
Silver daggers are useful in nearly all rituals related to the Mythos. But they can be dangerous. This means a silver dagger should only be obtained after the proper safety training. It is rather pointless to accidently kill yourself when preparing to prevent a death from the Cthulhu Mythos. Get the silver dagger, but be careful.
Chalk, salt, charcoal, silver dust, and a variety of other items are useful for drawing protective sigils. Needless to say the best one to learn is the Elder Sign. Don’t use the one on the spine of this book. Besides being trademarked, it isn’t the one you’re looking for.
Some might think that as the end approaches, finding a copy of the Necronomicon might be wise. This is the worst thing one can do. It won’t help. Most likely it will spread insanity, panic, and then be stolen by someone else. Avoid that tome and all those of a similar nature. Too much insight is unhealthy. This is why doctors make bad patients. They know too much.
Consider relocating to a remote area with a very high altitude. Unfortunately, this means the location is probably snowy and mountainous, and filled with caves—and therefore, flying polyps; although, most people find them easy to avoid unless provoked. In either case, the higher altitude protects against rising waters, most thunderstorms, lost travelers, and a vast number of Cthulhu Mythos creatures not inclined to visit low atmospheric, low temperature areas.
Once relocated, build two abodes. Make sure one is hidden, and the other is in plain sight. This ruse fools most everyone as no one builds two houses and lives in the hidden one. Also, the advantage of the decoy house is the convenient aspect of inviting unwanted guests and then vanishing in the middle of the night to the second house. Don’t return. Leave them to believe you’ve been killed or abducted. Handy notes and splashes of red paint assist in this. Or, if you’re very creative, make or purchase a Mi-Go brain cylinder off the Internet and leave it sitting empty on a shelf. Nothing says “gone” like an empty brain cylinder.
Food and water. This one seems obvious, but think of all the disaster films where people overlook these necessities. In fact, if you start hoarding now, there will be plenty for bargaining later—even with the hungry Mythos monsters you will inevitably encounter. And as always, a bargain is a bargain. Find all those folks who bought into the Y2K end of the world scheme and purchase their military rations and stored goods at rock bottom prices—but don’t reveal why; they are just looking for another apocalypse to justify their previous purchases.
Make sure you have a variety of clothing. No one really knows what environmental disasters await the reawaking of Cthulhu. This means being dressed for survival success is essential. Be it hot or cold, have the clothing for both. Also, make sure you have a quantity of robes of varying colors, along with thread and needles for stitching emblems. It is possible the world will be swarming with cult members. Having the appropriate robe allows you to blend into the group.
Cell phones. Don’t bother with them. Once things reach the end, there is nothing more useless than a cell phone. In fact, they become a great risk as countless people in a dire panic will be searching for signals when there are none. Those people are better known as Victims of Mythos Creatures. While desperately running in circles, waving a cell phone, some horrendous creature will lurk up on them and have a snack. Just accept that coverage will not exist in the end times, and lose the phone. Can you hear me now?
HOW NOT TO LINE UP FOR THE END TIMES
It’s apparent the Cthulhu Mythos is fraught with danger. And one important danger is the destruction of our planet—cute little blue-green Earth. And now, after having encountered Lovecraft’s works, albeit third-hand, it’s clear the planet, and its inhabitants, teeter upon the precipice of destruction. This makes the question more “When” than “If.” Even so, it leaves a little room for “How?” All right, perhaps that was confusing, so let’s rephrase it: How does it all end?
To be blunt, no one knows. But after having read this book, it is apparent there are a handful of scenarios that are most likely. This means the odds favor them (not the gods). Knowing these scenarios allows for improvision and adaptation, the very trademarks of humanity. Memorize these scenarios so they can be readily identified and provide you with plenty of time to adapt:
A crazy cult or backwoods family summons an Other God, who arrives upon Earth, squashing it into oblivion. True, this isn’t the Great Cthulhu reawakening, but no one said humanity would be here when his nap ended. All that is promised is if humanity’s around, and Cthulhu re-awakens, then things are pretty much over. In other words, don’t put all of your magical amulets in one basket. Be prepared for another Mythos entity to bring about a swift and fearsome ending to the world.
A mad scientist creates a device that stimulates the pineal gland and the barriers between realities are rent asunder, allowing all manner of monstrosities to stream into our universe. If such a thing happens, and it nearly did in one of Lovecraft’s tales, then not only will the planet be overrun with hideous creatures, but also countless humans with excited pineal glands. It is unclear to experts which is the greater threat—squirming, wormlike abominations with razor-sharp teeth or humans using their third eye to pry into and control other people’s lives (a great risk for those with vast supplies of friends).
Someone in the Dreamlands dreams an opening into this world. Until this point, most travel has been one way with the Dreamlands, and usually this requires dreaming on the traveler’s part. But there are many humans who’ve found themselves trapped in the Dreamlands, and now long to come home. This means it is certainly possible for them to dream-up some method of opening a door between the Dreamlands and our reality. Once this happens, night-gaunts, cats, moon-beasts, ghasts, gugs, zoogs, and every other entity found in the Dreamlands will be on our doorstep.
Randolph Carter returns. Let’s face it, this fellow was enough trouble the first time around. But now, in all likelihood, he’s lost in space and time, battling it out with some alien body he’s inhabited. This unfortunate writer of weird fiction has caused trouble on Earth (though mostly in cemeteries), in the Dreamlands, and even on the planet Yaddith. Overall it spells bad news. It wouldn’t be surprising if he returned with the whole of some alien race in pursuit, and most of the creatures of the Dreamlands as allies. And this time there will be no relatives to send him away.
Zombie infestation is a great threat. Remember Herbert West? Of course, you do. And we all know he’s dead. But think about it, he was a reanimator, and he made notes, and he attended Miskatonic University. Obviously, his notes have been found, and that explains why crowds of zombies dwell in shopping malls. The next step is the suburbs and inner cities. Except these reanimated dead are all out for revenge upon the person who returned them to an undead state. Nothing but chaos and an unhappy ending can result from this.
The Yith return en masse. It is important to remember that the Yith are masters of time. They typically protect themselves by jumping from one time to another, and to make things worse, they send their consciousness into a human body in yet another time. Since they can travel through time, there is no doubt they know when the end of the world comes. As a result, when they encounter it, they’ll pop into another, safer time—except when all of the Yith do this at once, it spells the end of humanity (a very unimportant fact to the Yith). So keep an eye out for changes in personality/demeanor in public figures and friends. These are early warning signs.
The Deep Ones invade! Don’t think being beneath the ocean prevents these devious creatures from returning to the surface. They already occupy many towns around the world—with the only clue being t
he “Innsmouth Look.” And to make matters worse they worship both Dagon and Cthulhu. Undoubtedly they’ll start the invasion by proffering gold trinkets and baubles, proclaiming that everyone can be rich (just watch late night infomercials to spot their advance guard). And while humanity is lost in a shopping frenzy, millions of Deep Ones will spring out of the waters and sacrifice every living thing on the surface.
We go with the Mi-Go. If it wasn’t evident from Lovecraft’s tale of warning, the Mi-Go are not here because they are friendly. And it’s likely they’re not here to mine some rare mineral, as it has been supposed. Rather, they like humans, or more specifically, human brains. This group of aliens has already landed upon Earth, and like the rest of us they need more computing power, more memory, more versatility from their PDAs. However, unlike the Mi-Go, humanity uses silicon based technology. The Mi-Go use human based technology—namely human brains. There is little doubt they are looking for the smartest smart phone, and the brainiest supercomputer in the universe. And with a planet ripe for harvesting, the Mi-Go are a great threat—and clever, as they’ve learned to use friends against friends.
Shoggoths attack. Remember the Elder Things? They were the aliens visiting primordial Earth. In fact, many argue they are the progenitors of all life on the planet. They loved to dabble with genetics. As it turns out, they were fond of slaves, and created the amorphous shoggoths. However, the shoggoths weren’t very fond of being slaves. They revolted, the Elder Things fled, and then all was peaceful. What this really means is the shoggoths have had hundreds of millions of years to reproduce and prepare to destroy humanity. While it could be said that humans and shoggoths are siblings (having the same parents, so to speak), it appears the shoggoths prefer to view humans as “food.” Since these Mythos creatures can alter shape, and can potentially imitate human forms, it is merely a matter of time before they attack—or come looking for a quick snack.
