What to Do When You Meet Cthulhu

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What to Do When You Meet Cthulhu Page 21

by Rachel Gray


  THREAT: High

  WHAT TO DO: Don’t try Barnabas Marsh’s home-made fish and chips recipe.

  MI-GO (ALSO: FUNGI FROM YUGGOTH)

  Large, pink, crab-like extraterrestrials with wings. The Mi-Go set up outposts on Earth in order to mine some sort of stone, not found on any other planet. Mi-Go are very secretive, and don’t take well to people meddling in their affairs.

  If caught by a Mi-Go, you will likely have your brain extracted and placed in a Mi-Go brain cylinder. Mi-Go brain cylinders have speech, hearing, and sight attachments, so at least it’s not a total loss.

  THREAT: High

  WHAT TO DO: Pretend you don’t know anything about them. Hard to do, when you just read all about the Mi-Go in this book. Sorry about that.

  MOON-BEASTS

  Large, gray, slippery creatures with a mess of pink tentacles on their snouts. The Moon-Beasts live on the moon of the Dreamlands, but also like to hang out on the Plateau of Leng. The Moon-Beasts use the humanoid Men of Leng as slaves to crew their large, black galleys.

  THREAT: Low (you can always wake up)

  WHAT TO DO: If you go on a dream-quest to find a great, enchanted city, and your quest involves some sort of consultation with the gods, do not blabber all around town about it. The moon-beasts will happily snatch you up and sell you to Nyarlathotep.

  NECRONOMICON

  The most infamous tome in the Cthulhu Mythos. The Necronomicon was written by the mad Arabic author, Abdul Alhazred, and contains powerful magical incantations and Mythos knowledge.

  THREAT: High

  WHAT TO DO: Don’t read it. Don’t listen to it on tape, either. Not even the abridged version.

  NYARLATHOTEP

  The most troublesome of the Other Gods, Nyarlathotep is often found meddling in the affairs of mankind. He is recorded in history as coming out of Egypt, resembling a pharaoh. But Nyarlathotep can assume a thousand different forms.

  Nyarlathotep often serves as a messenger or guardian of the gods.

  THREAT: High

  WHAT TO DO: Try not to get manipulated by him. No slaying of children on Nyarlathotep’s behalf. Don’t start up a cult in his honor. Don’t believe him if he tells you he’s going to send you to the enchanted city you’ve been trying to find for six months.

  NIGHT-GAUNTS

  Great, winged creatures that inhabit the Dreamlands. The night-gaunts are often used as steeds by the Ghouls. Night-gaunts like to tickle.

  THREAT: Low (unless you really hate to be tickled)

  WHAT TO DO: Giggle. You’re being tickled. And learn how to speak ghoul. If you can speak to a night-gaunt in the ghoul language, you’ll do fine.

  OLD ONES: SEE GREAT OLD ONES

  OTHER GODS

  (ALSO: OUTER GODS, ELDER GODS)

  Lovecraft used the term Other Gods, but the term Outer Gods is often used. The Other Gods are powerful deities within the Mythos—more powerful than the Old Ones (they’re not trapped underwater, for one thing). These powerful deities mostly ignore humanity.

  In some stories, Lovecraft also referred to Elder Gods for certain entities, but he didn’t distinguish much between Outer Gods and Elder Gods.

  THREAT: Low, unless you hunt them down or summon them, in which case, HIGH

  WHAT TO DO: Don’t hunt them down (or summon them).

  OUTER GODS: SEE OTHER GODS

  R’LYEH

  Underwater city full of non-Euclidean angles, where Cthulhu dwells in slumber.

  THREAT: Low (it’s just a city full of non-Euclidean angles . . . how dangerous can a non-Euclidean angle be?)

  WHAT TO DO: It’s best you don’t visit it. But if you insist on exploring R’lyeh, just make sure you stay out of the chamber where Cthulhu is located. You’ll be able to tell that one by the big symbol of Cthulhu on the door. Pretty easy. Stay out of that room.

  SHOGGOTH

  Shoggoths are large, blob-like creatures that are tarry black, with bulbous eyes sticking out from everywhere. Being amorphous, shoggoths can form into almost any shape they want.

  THREAT: High

  WHAT TO DO: See What to Do When You Meet a Shoggoth in The Pabodie Expedition section for more details.

  SHUB-NIGGURATH (ALSO: THE BLACK GOAT OF THE WOODS WITH A THOUSAND YOUNG)

  Shub-Niggurath is usually mentioned indirectly in the Mythos. If you hear a cultist or sorcerer spitting out a litany of evil-sounding words, Shub-Niggurath’s name is likely in there somewhere. But Shub-Niggurath is an Other God in her own right.

  THREAT: Medium

  WHAT TO DO: Shub-Niggurath is primarily cranky because she has a thousand young to look after. You would be, too. Consider offering to babysit.

  TSATHOGGUA

  Great Old One that looks like a toad. Tsathoggua is rumored to live in the lightless cavern N’kai, below K’n-yan.

  THREAT: Low

  WHAT TO DO: As long as you stay out of N’kai, you should have no issues.

  YITH

  (ALSO: THE GREAT RACE OF YITH, THE GREAT RACE)

  A cone-shaped, time traveling race of extra-terrestrial beings. The Great Race of Yith enjoy inhabiting the minds of humans, in order to do field research, and increase the knowledge in their vast library.

  THREAT: High

  WHAT TO DO: You could try one of those foil hats . . . but you’ll just look silly.

  YELLOW SIGN

  Like the Elder Sign, the Yellow Sign is a strange symbol, but one with malign purpose. If you come across a pendant depicting the yellow sign, you’re likely to be hunted down by the King in Yellow, eventually leading to insanity and/or death. Neither option is good.

  THREAT: High

  WHAT TO DO: If you come across an odd sigil, and you think it’s the Yellow Sign, destroy it. Or give it to your best friend.

  YOG-SOTHOTH

  Powerful Other God existing above and beyond our space-time. Yog-Sothoth is believed to be the gate and key that keeps the Other Gods from breaking through to our universe and destroying us.

  THREAT: Medium

  WHAT TO DO: As tempting as it may be, try not to summon Yog-Sothoth. Don’t mate with it, either (see entire chapter on Dunwich).

  ZOOGS

  Rodent-like creatures inhabiting the Enchanted Wood of the Dreamlands. Small but inquisitive, they are rumored to make some really great wine. They tend to get into a great deal of trouble, especially with cats.

  THREAT: Low (they like to eat humans, but you can always wake up)

  WHAT TO DO: Try to make friends. Certain humans, such as Randolph Carter, were able to do so, with limited success.

 

 

 


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