by Hart, Eve R.
And… I felt like an asshole. Which I was, so it shouldn’t have really been a big deal. Shouldn’t have felt any different than any other day, but somehow it was.
“Sketch,” I grunted out as I stomped my way into the main part of the shop.
“Yo?”
“Stay here,” I barked and didn’t turn to look at him. “I fuckin’ mean it.”
“Where the fuck you goin’?” he asked and I heard Cami trying to muffle her laughter.
Fucking chicks.
Always gotta be gossiping.
I was half-tempted to turn around and glare at her but I couldn’t let myself get distracted like that.
“The fuck am I missing?” Sketch called out.
Cami could fill him in if she wanted to with whatever Abigail had told her. I didn’t give a fuck. I was already making a fool out of myself and stopping to bite his head off would have only made it worse.
I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with the aftermath of this.
You know, once all the old ladies got wind of it and then they talked to their men about it. And of course, I’d end up walking into a room, all eyes on me like I’d suddenly fuckin’ fallen and they had just been waiting for this moment.
Yeah, loved my club, but shit that like made it really hard for me to be around them sometimes.
“Blade?” Harley called out and I hadn’t even realized that I had not only made it across the street, but walked right into her shop as well. “You okay?”
Her face held a look of concern.
Or pity.
Maybe it was confusion.
Fuck, I didn’t know.
But the way she was staring at me made me think that I’d done something weird.
How long had I been standing here?
Hm.
The fact that I couldn’t say made me feel the need to grow hard. I couldn’t let myself get off my game like that. I couldn’t get lost in my head.
“Blade?” Harley asked again and I felt all their eyes on me. Staring. Watching. Assessing the situation and trying to figure out what was wrong.
Fucking hell, I was sweating.
I was breaking out in a nervous sweat and fucking tongue-tied all over a woman.
“Brought you somethin’,” I said and held the plastic container out for her to take.
“You… brought me something?” There was a ring of disbelief in her tone and she stared at my hands like I was holding a bomb.
“Caramel little cake thingies,” I told her, shaking the container and most likely messing them up. I was getting upset that she hadn’t taken it. “I made them,” I said under my breath but by the way her eyes went big, I knew she heard me.
“You made them?”
Why the fuck was she repeating everything I said in a question?
“Yeah. I mean, I had help, but I did most of it myself.”
Someone snorted and then laughter broke out around me.
I cut my unhappy gaze to the chick with dark hair that was highlighted with forest green at the bottom.
“Darlene,” Harley scolded while the tall one smacked the woman on the shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” the green-tipped chick said laughing harder. “It’s just really cute. The big caveman brought you baked goods he made himself.”
“It’s not cute,” I pointed out flatly. “It’s nice. She brought me something and I’m letting her know I liked it by returning the gesture.”
“Well, I think it’s sweet,” someone chimed in and I turned my head to take in the guy sitting in one of the chairs looking as if he was in the middle of getting some work done. Then my attention shifted to the man sitting beside him. Whoever that second guy was, I didn’t like. Not even a little. “I’ll take one.”
Before I knew what was going on, the first guy was out of the chair and taking the container out of my hands. I wasn’t sure what to do with the wink he gave me so I stood there frozen stiff.
“Who’s that?” I asked not too nicely.
“That’s Bennie,” Harley said right away. “He’s one of my regulars. Or that’s what he will be when he sees how much he loves my work.” She turned and shot him a playful wink that I was smart enough to know wasn’t meant to be flirty.
“And a friend!” Bennie called out with a smile.
“Not him,” I grunted.
“Oh, that’s my very straight, very single brother,” Bennie called out. “He came along for support.”
I eyed the guy— the supportive brother.
He gave me a wide smile and a nod of his head.
He got it. Good fucking thing too because I wasn’t letting anyone try to take Harley away from me.
One look and he understood that.
One look he told me he wasn’t interested in stepping in the middle of that.
See, men were fucking easy. Didn’t even need words to straighten out this situation.
“Well, as you can see, I’m in the middle of a piece,” Harley said and I wasn’t happy about the brush-off.
“It’s okay, girl, I need a break anyway,” Bennie said.
That was when I realized that I hadn’t seen much of her work. There had been a few pictures up on the website but it was mostly a jumbled mess of all their stuff thrown together on a page.
“May I?” I asked already stepping in Bennie’s space to study his arm.
The outline had already been done and looked healed. My guess this was a second session for the color. It looked like she’d barely started but from what I could see, her shading was good work.
I tried to make sense of the design. It was something complicated and I would have guessed very meaningful to Bennie.
There were a few wolves looking as if they were in mid-run. A crow or a raven clung to the back of one of the wolves and there was some random shit floating around in the background. Yeah, I wasn’t all that sure what was going on there.
But it was good.
Really fucking good work.
I felt a bubble of pride rising up through my body and causing a tiny smile to tip up my lips.
“She’s good, right?” Bennie said and I knew he was studying my face. “It’s something I saw in my head when I was reading one of my favorite books. Well, it’s actually a series… but you probably don’t care.” He shook his head and shrugged.
He was right, I didn’t care, but I’d never actually say that to him.
“I like it,” I told him, truly meaning it. I might not have gotten it but I could almost feel what he was feeling when he thought of the scene.
Realizing that I’d been a little lost looking at this guy’s arm, I took a step back and turned my attention back to Harley.
“I should go,” I told her and I could feel the scowl on my face. I shouldn’t have been surprised that I’d picked the worst time to come over here. “Looks good,” I added because I was at a loss for what to say.
“Thanks,” she tossed out looking as uncomfortable as I felt inside.
I wondered if she could tell. Or did she just think I was some giant asshole?
“There’s a back room here right?” Bennie cut in. “Or at least a bathroom? Go on girl, I won’t mind if you get a piece of that.”
I felt him drooling over me and wasn’t sure if I was flattered or confused.
Harley let out a loud, nervous bark of a laugh.
It was real fucking cute.
This guy was suggesting things that I was on board for.
And because sex was my go-to, I shot her a smirk and wiggled my brows at her.
“Oh my God!” she said acting all surprised. I was pretty sure she got that I wanted her by now. That time in the back room should have screamed it loud and fucking clear. “I don’t think I even know what to say.”
Then she was shooing me out with her hands.
“I have work to do and you are distracting,” she said and I let her back me up to the door. “Thank you for the sweets.”
“Promise me you’ll eat one.”
&
nbsp; She swallowed hard, beautiful green eyes peeking up at me from under her lashes.
“I will,” she said and I gave her a smile. “Blade?”
“Yeah, Sweet Cheeks?” I ducked my head. Man, I really wanted to fucking kiss her.
“I’m not ready,” she whispered to me and then there was shock filling her beautiful features.
I wanted to say something. Wanted to try and tell her it was okay, that as long as I had a chance, I would wait.
But before I could say anything, she was turning and walking away from me with hurried steps.
And I was left standing on the sidewalk looking like a giant tool.
Fucking shit!
Would I ever get it right?
Yeah, I would. And that was what I told myself because I wasn’t fucking giving up. She wasn’t ready but I would make sure I was there when she was.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Blade
I had become a stalker.
Yeah, I know, it wasn’t good.
Since I couldn’t get the woman out of my head, I’d become a little obsessed over her.
I figured out that she lived above the shop. Her section was on the left, and I wondered why she lived by herself while the other three shared the space on the right. I’d caught her in the window a few times. Yep, caught her, as in around the back because I was watching.
Like a fucking stalker.
It had been a week since the first time. That first time when I hadn’t meant to be creepy but somehow ended up being just that. And I’d been here every damn night since then, sticking around until I saw all the lights go off.
Then I stayed another half hour just to make sure she didn’t get back up. Or until I realized what a fucking creep I was being and forced myself to start my bike. I’d head back to the compound, ignored everyone as I made my way to my room, and locked myself away.
Even Charming was starting to catch on that something was wrong. And, well, if he thought there was something off with me, it wouldn’t be long until Abigail knew. She was already on to the fact that something was up since I asked for her help and all. But once she figured out that I’d been even more off than I had been that night, shit would be over for me because the women couldn’t keep their damn mouths shut when it came to shit. Abigail would be up my ass. Laurel would be up my ass. Cami would be up my ass. And they would also send their men to check on me.
A damn nightmare.
I needed to knock this shit off, fix it, forget it, and move the fuck on.
The last thing I wanted was people up in my business.
It didn’t matter that they had the best intentions, it just wasn’t who I was.
Sure, I’d gotten better over the years. I cared enough to get by. I let people close enough to not seem like a giant dick. But when you boiled it down, I still struggled with getting close to people. It was hard for me to let my guard down and trust.
My brothers and club had my back, I didn’t doubt that for a single second because they’d proven time and time again they’d be there for me. And though it was hard to admit, I would do the same thing for them even if I couldn’t say it. I figured they knew this by now.
Tucked into the darkness of the crossing alleyway behind her shop, I waited. I hadn’t closed the shop today so I was here counting the minutes until the back door popped open and I got a brief glimpse of her as she made her way up the stairs and into her apartment.
The back door flew open, the whole lot of them walking out and making their way up. The excitement of the day buzzed around them as they laughed and carried on loudly. Estelle was with them and I wondered how long she’d be in town for this time. I’d watched enough to know that she had been in and out since the place opened.
I still hadn’t figured out what the fuck was going on there. Why she kept tight-lipped about the place. They had to know that with Estelle’s name attached to the shop, they’d get a lot more people in the door. I was still stumped on the whole thing. There was something going on, I just couldn’t see what it was.
Harley joked as her eyes scanned the area. She wouldn’t see me, I had made sure of that. But I did like the fact that she was aware of her surroundings.
I couldn’t understand her. Couldn’t figure her out. That might have been the reason why I was here. Or simply the reason I held onto because anything more would be dangerous. There was something about her that she hid and I had become a little desperate to know what that was. The story behind the fight and the fear. The reasons that they were both there. Most of it probably had to do with me, I got how I came off and looked, but there was more there too.
I couldn’t forget her last words to me. She wasn’t ready. For what? Me? Something more? I could only guess and my guess was that something big was keeping her held back. Something that had happened to her to make her hesitant. And I might have imagined all this because I didn’t want it to be me that she wasn’t ready for.
And the brief moments that I caught sight of her like this, almost carefree and playful, I wanted to see more of. And I wasn’t talking about from the shadows or across the street, witnessing as an outsider. I wanted to see her laughing for me. Wanted to be the one to make her smile.
I would.
I was fucking determined to at this point. She’d like me, it would just take time.
But time wasn’t the problem. All the other shit was. Like how was I supposed to approach her and set her at ease? How could I show her that I wasn’t as scary as I seemed?
Well, as long as you weren’t on my shit list, that was. I was deadly. I had times in life where I was out for blood and got it. I didn’t hesitate in those moments and I never would. It was who I was on the inside. I didn’t have trouble sleeping at night because of the things I’d done. They didn’t bother me and never would.
You want to know if I feel at all, right?
Well, I did, it just wasn’t a whole lot and I rarely let any of it show. What was the point? When you lived this kind of life things weren’t guaranteed to last long. People were more likely to be gone in the blink of an eye.
I blinked myself out of my thoughts, my gaze sliding over to the window on the far corner of the building. The blinds were drawn and it would only be a matter of minutes before she made her way over to close them.
Then she was there, her hair still up and not a strand out of place. But her face was harder, her eyes sharper as she looked down to the lot and alley below for a few beats. The blinds slid down quickly and all I had to take in was her perfect silhouette. But then that was gone too and I was left sitting here waiting, pretty much fucking hoping, that I get another tiny glimpse of her. That I’d get lucky somehow, maybe she’d even know I was there and come out to call me over.
Pretty fucking dumb fantasy, but I’d used that one a time or two in the last week. All the ways I’d take it from there once I had the go-ahead.
But I knew that would never come. She’d never want me like I desperately wanted her.
I’d tried so hard to convince myself that one good fuck would get her out of my system. Yeah, I was still waiting for the day that I truly believed that.
The lights went off and I let blew out a long breath through my nose. It felt almost as if I’d been holding the damn thing in a lifetime. Another five minutes went by and I started my bike.
The ride back to the compound I told myself I needed to get my shit together. Needed to forget her and move the fuck on. Couldn’t waste any more time on a woman that seemed like she didn’t want me around. Especially not when I had plenty that did.
It wasn’t like I was looking for a woman that held my attention anyway. Not longer than a few hours at least. I was good with my life, keeping the drama to a minimum by getting what I needed and then gettin’ gone.
But maybe I was lying to myself a little bit there.
The next day at the shop, I tried my hardest not to look across the street. I had some fucking willpower and was able to last the whole day. However, Sketch did
point out that I was in a shittier mood than normal at least once. I might have tuned him out most of the day, not in the mood for his shit. I was there to do my job and that was it.
I didn’t even take enjoyment in the ink I did lay down. Granted, it wasn’t anything special, but still. I normally didn’t mind sitting there for a good spell causing pain to someone while leaving my mark on them. There was a sadistic kind of happiness I took in my job. Even the chick that came in to get her nipples pierced didn’t make me perk up. I got through it all, did a good job like always, but at the end of the day, I was just done.
Then, despite all the willpower I’d shown the entire day, I still rode out hours after I knew she’d be asleep and sat behind her shop.
I dropped my gaze from her window and shook my head. Then I shifted with the intention of flicking up my kickstand so I could roll off, but paused when I heard a door open.
My heart skipped a beat and then I realized it was the wrong door.
No, she would never know I was there. She’d never come out to see me even if she did know.
This wasn’t something romantic, it was sick and twisted.
And I guess that deep down, that was exactly what I was.
My eyes tracked Estelle as she made her way down the stairs. I didn’t know the woman but I still had this need inside to make sure she was safe.
She hid herself away under the stairs and a second later, I saw the orange glow of a flame.
It didn’t take long before that sweet smell drifted through the night air and hit my nose.
And it wasn’t shit weed either.
Yeah, I fucking knew the difference.
I shifted my weight, resting my bike back on the kickstand. Then I swung my leg over and walked with calm steps up to her.
She didn’t look startled as I got closer.
Which surprised me.
“How long you been doing that?” she asked jerking the joint in the direction of where I’d been hiding.
“Not long,” I told her with a shrug. “How’d you know I was there?”
“Didn’t know it was you, but I knew someone was there.”
