by Cara Colter
“Yeah, that would have been bad.”
“It got worse. She called her friend Jake, the boy who was with her today, to come pick us up. He didn’t even have his license at the time. I’d had so much to drink that night that I passed out and they couldn’t wake me up. They got scared and tried to rush me to the hospital, but Jake lost control of the car and wrecked it. It’s a miracle neither one of them was really hurt.”
“You weren’t hurt?” Simon asked.
“Not physically, not from the accident, but I almost managed to drink myself into a coma that night. For a while the doctors weren’t sure I was going to wake up, but I did. And then Richard moved back into the house with his girlfriend and Andie. I went to rehab and then met Marion at …” She stopped suddenly, looking at Simon.
“I know she’s in AA,” Simon told her.
“Yeah, I met her in AA. She took pity on me, took me in for a few months, something I understand she’s been doing for years. And here I am.”
Simon sat there with her, hating thinking of her having to go through that, of her daughter having to, of Audrey being lost and hurt and scared. And then he didn’t know anything for sure except that he wished she’d never had to go through any of that.
And now he’d made it worse for her because he’d ignored what she said, had told himself she wanted him despite that and had taken her in his arms, just in time for her daughter to arrive.
“I am really sorry about what I did and what your daughter saw. I had no right, Audrey. And I don’t even know if it’s something I can make better.”
Audrey shook her head, which was still resting against his shoulder, her face completely hidden from view. She took a shaky breath, as if fighting to keep from sobbing, and he let his hand rub gently along her shoulder, aiming for comfort and nothing else in his touch.
“Maybe I’m kidding myself. Maybe I just have to wait her out and hope that if enough time goes by, she’ll come back to me. Marion thinks she will. So I came here, to put myself in her neighborhood, where she’d have to see me and hopefully deal with me eventually.”
“It was the right thing to do. At least, I think so,” he said. “I always fight for what I want. I don’t know any other way except to fight for what I want.”
“So, I have the Simon Collier seal of approval, at least for what I’m doing now?” She lifted her head finally, eyes sad and wet, her nose a little red, and once again the thing he wanted most was to make everything all better for her.
Then he wondered if that’s what that other man wanted to do, too. If he thought she was adorable and … not helpless but in need of help, and he just wanted to make everything all better?
Simon bristled at the thought.
“What happened to the other man?” he asked, unable to help himself.
Audrey frowned. “I’m not sure. He and his wife sold their house and moved, but I’m not sure if they’re still together. I tried to get an address, so I could apologize to them, but the people I asked weren’t inclined to help me find them. Which I understand perfectly. I probably should have tried harder to get in touch with them, because we’re supposed to apologize, it’s part of the program. I guess I was relieved, really, to not have to face either of them or even know what kind of damage I’d done.”
So, she didn’t want anything to do with the man.
Simon, ludicrously felt better about that part. Still, the woman had issues. Serious issues.
“What about the drinking? Do you worry that you’ll fall back into that?”
“I’m not one of those people who loves to drink. I mean, I don’t see a glass of wine and crave the taste of it. It was about how bad I felt and how scared I was—and not being able to face that anymore. Needing to numb myself to all of that. So I worry that life might get really bad again. That even knowing drinking won’t solve anything, that it only made things worse for me, I might still feel so bad I’d crave that kind of numbness again. I can find peace when I run sometimes. If I go far enough or long enough, nothing else matters but to just keep going. Everything else falls away for a while. I just hope that’s enough for me now.”
“So the dog is like therapy?”
Audrey tried to force a smile, tried and failed, tears filling her eyes once again. “He is. He’s my best hope because he loves to run, too. And he’ll behave if he gets in a good, long run every day. So I’ll run. And keep hoping that something I’m doing will work with my daughter and she’ll come back to me. Beyond that, I have no idea what else to do.”
He still had one arm stretched out along the back of the bench, and he let that hand cup her shoulder, giving her a little squeeze and a nod, inviting her back into a loose embrace. She let her forehead fall to his chest. He let his other hand cup her cheek and laid a gentle kiss against the top of her head.
“You keep doing what you’ve been doing. Keep fighting for what you want. And hope that tomorrow’s a better day.”
Andie was walking home through the park when she saw them. She wasn’t sure it was her mother and that man at first, but then she spotted the dog, barking and playing with the little girl who’d been at the man’s house.
Then she looked back at the bench, not really able to see her mother’s face pressed against the man’s shoulder that way. But she was pretty sure that was her mother’s hair, dark and curly and a little bit wild at times, and that it was the same man from the big house in Highland Park.
They looked … close.
Not happy-close, but he appeared to be trying to comfort her.
Well, that was the way her mother did it, wasn’t it?
She played on a man’s sympathy, tried to get him to take care of her.
Which meant her mother was up to her same old tricks, just as Andie suspected. A few tears, a few kisses, stolen afternoons spent in bed ….
Andie saw the man touch her face, kiss her gently on her forehead.
The gesture was intimate and oddly sweet.
Another man taken in, Andie thought, disgusted.
Then the little blond girl and the dog ran over to them, the girl looking puzzled, then concerned.
Audrey watched as her mother lifted her head and put on a bright smile, the little girl smiled back and the dog started prancing with excitement at her feet.
They almost resembled a family together like that.
New man, new daughter.
She hadn’t thought it was possible for her mother to hurt her any more than she already had, but Andie absolutely hated the sight of her mother with that man and his little girl.
Simon wasn’t sure whether it was the right thing to do, but since he decided he’d helped make this mess, he had to try to help clean it up.
He waited until Peyton was asleep that night, with Audrey upstairs in her room, he supposed, then got in his car and drove to Audrey’s former home. He remembered the way from when he’d gone to check out the job she’d done with her yard before he’d hired her.
It was a little after nine o’clock when he pulled into the driveway, lights still on both downstairs and up, an older-model sedan in the driveway and a little convertible. Neither of which he suspected Audrey’s ex would drive.
So at least he wouldn’t have to see that man.
He got out of his car, went to the front door and knocked.
From the music he heard coming through the front door, he was certain a teenager was in there somewhere.
Three tries at the doorbell and Andie finally answered, looking ready to lay into him the moment he opened the door.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“Three minutes of your time,” Simon said, not waiting for an invitation before he walked inside.
“Hey!” she protested.
“Three minutes and I’m gone,” he promised, stopping just inside the doorway and not trying to go any farther, looking around the warm, comfortable atmosphere of the home and knowing without a doubt that Audrey had created this room.
Her daughter pus
hed the door hard enough that it closed with a smack, then stood there, arms crossed, glaring at him, but the tear tracks on her face softened the whole look, and then he realized how tiny she was, tiny arms, tiny shoulders, just … tiny all over.
So fragile looking, despite what she wanted anyone to think.
And Audrey’s daughter.
“Look, I don’t care about anything you have to say to me,” she claimed.
“Fine. I’ll say it anyway and then I’ll go.” He looked at his watch, set it to count down from three minutes, showed it to her and then punched a button to start it. “I hired your mother to work for me and nothing else—”
“Right—”
“Hey, it’s my three minutes. I hired her to do a job, and she’s been doing it. And I told her tonight that I was interested in her, and she told me in no uncertain terms that she wanted nothing to do with me, beyond doing her job.”
“Well, I hear women get paid for that sort of thing—”
Simon blasted her with a blistering glare. She held up frustratingly well beneath it, but at least she shut up about her mother for a moment.
God help him if he ever had to resort to this with his own daughter. He didn’t think he could stand it.
And the clock was ticking on his three minutes.
“She told me she wanted one thing and one thing only right now and that’s to get you back into her life.”
Andie laughed, a disgusted sound.
“That’s what she said. That’s what she wants. She came to work for me because I live in the right place. I’m only five blocks from you, and she’s dying to be close to you in any way she can. Me, I can be a little stubborn and a little conceited. I’m used to getting what I want from women. I kissed her anyway.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. And I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry for that because I have a daughter, too, and I wouldn’t be able to stand it if she wanted nothing to do with me. I would be furious at anyone who got in the way of me winning her back.”
“How touching,” Andie said.
Simon bit back a curse, barely.
Were teenage girls the most infuriating, stubborn creatures on earth? He’d heard they were. He began to fear his own daughter turning into one.
“I’m lucky your mother isn’t furious with me, but in truth it’s almost worse to see what she is. Which is hurt. Devastated, even. She doesn’t think she has a chance of making things right between you.”
“Done?” Andie asked, not relenting one bit.
“I understand your anger. Really, I do. She hurt you. She became someone you couldn’t count on for a time, and it frightened you.”
“I don’t need her. I don’t need anybody,” Andie claimed.
“Oh, yes, you do. Your life will get a lot easier once you realize that. Tell me something, before your parents split up, which one of them was really there for you day after day? Who fixed things when you had a problem? Who listened to you? Who did you think would always have your back? Because judging by how angry you are and how betrayed you feel, I’d say that person was your mother. Otherwise, it wouldn’t matter so much that she let you down.”
Bingo.
He’d finally said something that got through to her.
“Now, you’ve been through a rough time, and you’re very young. I understand that, and I’m sorry. But we all go through tough times, and we all get disappointed by people we love and count on. It’s just a part of life. The important thing is what they do afterward. Do they walk away and give up on us? Or do they fight to make things better? Your mother is fighting for you, and she’s not going to stop. So the question is what do you want? I know you think you want to keep punishing her, because you’re still mad and still hurt, and that’s fine for a while. You’re entitled to be mad.”
“Gee, thanks. I really need your permission to be mad at my own mother.”
Simon sighed, more frustrated than he remembered being in years. Time to change tactics one more time, take a chance.
“Look, if everything’s fine here, and your father’s taking good care of you, giving you all the parental attention and support that you need, great. Go on being furious at your mother. But if your living situation isn’t so great and you’re missing what you used to have with your mother, you should know that you can have it again. She’s right down the road, waiting for you, hoping that you’ll let her back into your life. Think about that. It’s yours for the asking.”
“No, it’s not. She’s not the person I thought she was!”
“Right. She’s human. She messed up, Andie. She spent nineteen years with your father, and he walked away from her and you. That’s what happened, isn’t it? He walked away and left her to try to pick up the pieces and take care of you. You think that was easy? You think she wasn’t scared? And every bit as mad as you are? You think she didn’t try for as long as she could to take care of you and everything else?”
“I don’t know!” The words practically exploded from the girl. “I don’t know what happened to her! I don’t know why it happened. I just know it did, and it’s not something she can take back!”
“No, she can’t,” Simon said softly. “But she still loves you.”
Finally, more hurt than anger showed in her expression.
“She does. She loves you, and it’s nothing to dismiss lightly, that kind of love.”
“I can’t trust her,” Andie insisted. “I can’t. But it’s fine. I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”
“Sure you can,” Simon said, frowning, worried that he’d only made things worse.
His watch beeped, three minutes gone.
He took a breath, couldn’t think of anything else to say, then settled for, “I’m sorry I made things worse between you tonight. It really was my fault, and I’d hate to be what stands between the two of you.”
“There’s so much more standing between the two of us,” she said.
Simon nodded.
His time was up. He let himself out without another word.
Chapter Ten
Audrey kept her head down, took care of the dog, planned Simon’s yard and did very little else in the next few days.
Although she did manage to watch Simon every day as he walked from the house to the garage to get into his car and drive away. And most days she managed to catch him as he came home and walked from the garage into his house.
“There must be something wrong with me,” she told Marion one day on the phone as she watched him.
“Honey, there’d be something wrong with you if you didn’t appreciate a man as fine looking as Simon Collier,” Marion said. “You’re a young, beautiful woman—”
“I’m ready to be a smart woman. And the idea of getting in line and becoming one of Simon’s women …” Surely she was too smart for that.
Marion made a scoffing sound. “I know he looks like the kind of man who’d keep women on a string, ready to come when he crooks his little finger, but he’s not like that now. He made his money at a very young age, and he’s always had women after him. He made his mistakes a long time ago, and he learned from them. Believe me, a string of women is the last thing he wants.”
Marion sounded as if she believed that, and when Audrey thought about it, she had to admit, she’d never seen him with a woman, except Ms. Bee. But Simon was out of town as often as he was here. Maybe he just restricted that sort of activity to his nights on the road, an idea Audrey absolutely hated.
“Ask me what he wants,” Marion prompted her.
“It doesn’t matter what he wants. I can’t give it to him.”
“Of course, you can. But you’re going to have to figure that out on your own. For now, I’m just going to say that the man is as solid as they come. And I’m not talking about those pretty muscles of his.”
Audrey sighed, giving everything away in that one sound, she feared.
Marion laughed, as if she’d known all along anyway. “Remember what you want.”
&
nbsp; “I do. It’s all I think about. I want my daughter back.”
“And then you’ll let yourself have a life?”
Audrey frowned, caught off-balance. “I had a life. I blew up my old life.”
“So, maybe now you can have something better. Think of that.”
“Marion—”
“Oh, fine. How’s the dog?”
“Tink is great.” He was sprawled out on the floor and lifted his head as Audrey said his name. “He’s like … my only friend. Besides you.”
He was always happy to see her and slept beside her in bed no matter how many times she shooed him out. By morning, she woke up with him beside her, usually with her arm around him, happy for the comfort of a warm, furry body next to hers.
“And how are your plans for Simon’s yard coming?”
Audrey made a face. “I have to … get some input from him on that.”
Which she was dreading, because it meant she had to face him, talk to him, when she’d been avoiding him since that scene with Andie.
And she was still nervous about being equipped to do the job he wanted with his lawn. Truth was, she was nervous about everything.
“Just keep moving toward what you want. That’s all there is to it,” Marion claimed.
If only Audrey could believe it.
Simon knew Audrey was still here because someone was taking care of the dog, but Simon hadn’t seen her since that night her daughter caught them together. It had taken every bit of willpower he possessed to leave her alone, to not apologize again or make sure she was all right. He was afraid if he pushed, she might not stay, and he very much wanted her to stay.
So he’d left her alone, gone to work, getting through one day after the next, waiting, hoping, feeling more alone than ever.
Finally, he walked out of his house one morning to go to work, and there she was in the garage, waiting for him, the dog by her side.
