He inhaled deeply as he nuzzled at her throat, trailing his fingers down the delicate line of her exposed nape, voice thick as he added, "Now we can begin."
* * *
Jax looked up in surprise to see Sebastian walk into his office. It was barely noon and needless to say, Sebastian's unexpected appearance came as a shock.
"Hey, what’s up?" Jax said. "You weren't supposed to be back until a day or two."
"Yeah. I cut the trip short and got back yesterday."
Jax nodded thoughtfully, standing to lean on the edge of his desk, folding his huge arms, which seemed to bulge in the rolled-up sleeves of his black shirt. "Brooke was here last night."
"I know," Sebastian replied, his tone light. Then he shoved a hand through his hair and turned away. "I was there; I watched you with her, all through the scene."
Jax straightened from his desk. "Then why didn't you join us?"
Sebastian shrugged. "I could tell it was a sensitive moment. I didn’t want to break the mood by suddenly interrupting. Brooke seemed…comfortable with you. What I don't understand is why you went through with it."
He faced Jax again and met Jax's damned speculative gaze. Jax sighed. "She came by the club earlier in the day, during her lunch hour and I happened to be around. So I agreed to see her and she said she needed to talk. She had questions about the lifestyle and wanted to know more about being a sub. I told her I'd be happy to show her whatever she needed to know. I tried to call you and tell you about it but your phone was unavailable."
"I was stacked in meetings back to back. And then I was heading home on the next flight, so yeah; I understand how you didn't get to reach me. Still doesn’t explain why you agreed to go along with her idea."
Jax huffed. "What did you expect me to do? Anyway, I told her to come by later when the club would be open and I'll see what I could do about her request. I never thought she would, but she showed up. I wasn’t about to turn her away and then push her into finding out what she needed to know from somewhere else. I'm first and foremost a dom, and I did my job."
"You and I know that Brooke is far more than just a job - she always was," Sebastian said with more heat than he intended.
"And yet you seem intent on keeping her at arm's length. I'm not about to let you jeopardize everything we could have with her just because your instincts are telling you it's not worth the risk. Because believe me, it is. I'm willing to take that chance if you aren’t."
Sebastian's jaw clenched and he could see the answering rigidity in Jax's expression. After a few moments, Sebastian sighed. "Well, I can't deny she definitely seems to have no problems trusting you and letting you close."
"You can't be jealous, can you?" Jax asked, dark brow arching. The slight twitch in his lips warned how light-hearted he was being about it all.
Sebastian snorted. "Jealous? Yeah right. Like that could ever happen." Sebastian could still remember the soft glow in Brooke's eyes as she'd gazed up at Jax, while dancing and even during the most intense moments of the scene. And each time, Sebastian had wanted that look of trust and reverence to be directed at him.
But no, he wasn’t jealous. He and Jax went too far back for that. They'd shared a lot of shit during the years they'd been friends ever since their time in the army special forces. Nothing could come between them; not after so many times of saving each other's ass and being there through thick and thin.
If there was one person in the world he trusted like a brother, it was Jax. If anything, he'd been happy that Brooke had entrusted herself in Jax's capable hands and not some random dom at the club.
A hand fell on his shoulder and squeezed briefly, as Jax said simply, "She wanted you to be there as much as I did. You know it all can't be complete without you. That's the only way it's going to happen for real."
Sebastian knew in his heart this was true. It would never be the same if they couldn’t all make it work together.
"You know it took a lot for her to come back here on her own after that first time," Jax added, his hand falling away as he sighed deeply. "Even Brooke is ready to take a chance. Why can't you?"
I don't know, Sebastian almost said. But then maybe he did.
He sent Jax a wry smile. "I guess when you want something bad enough, that makes it even harder to let yourself go. Because you can't be sure if you'll find your way back."
"Trust me, I know how you feel," Jax replied, a slow smile splitting his face. "But then you could ask yourself if the risk is worth it. That's what I did. And after spending more time with Brooke, I know what my answer would be."
Sebastian combed his fingers once again through his already messy blond locks. "I have to go. There's somewhere I need to be," he said, sending Jax a meaningful glance before heading for the door.
"I'm sure there is," Jax said with a flash of his knowing grin. If his hunch was right then things would take a turn for the better and before the night was through, Sebastian would realize that in this gamble of love, everyone could win…
Chapter Eleven
"Sebastian!"
Brooke was as much surprised to hear her roommate call Sebastian's name, as she was to see him walk up to them as both women made their way up to the entrance of their building.
They'd been out with a couple of their other pals, just one of the usual girls' night out. They'd both chosen to make it an early night and once the cab dropped them off they were about to walk into their place when a tall, broad shouldered figure appeared through the shadowy night.
Brooke stared from Carly to Sebastian, as her roommate jumped to give him an embrace that set Brooke's teeth on edge for some reason.
"It's good to see you again Sebastian!" Carly exclaimed, drawing back from the embrace.
"You too, Carly. You look good," he said, before his piercing gaze turned to Brooke, who felt her heartbeat falter.
Seeing him again gave her all sorts of butterflies. How long had it been? A week, two days and eight hours since the last time she'd set eyes on him? Yep, that should about cut it.
Feeling pathetic that she'd actually been counting the hours, she bit hard on her lip and averted her eyes from his all-seeing blue gaze. Tried to tell herself she didn’t notice how hot he looked in those jeans and snug black tee."
"You know Sebastian?" Brooke heard herself ask Carly with a tone that was half-accusing. But of course Brooke knew that Carly had to. Why else had he shown up in their apartment that night over a week ago?
Carly smiled and went pink. "I forgot to tell you all about how we met."
"Carly and I got to know through an online forum - sort of a BDSM site," Sebastian said lightly. "We stayed in contact for a few months and then finally got to meet a few times and I even came over here once or twice but you and I never got to meet - until that night a week ago."
His eyes had that teasing glint that turned her to mush, but Brooke was still confused by all the revelations, not sure where things stood anymore.
"Anyway, so Sebastian was kind enough to invite me to Dark Desires so I decided to go - and believe me I'm glad I did," said the grinning Carly, oblivious to Brooke's inner turmoil.
Brooke's jealousy couldn’t be more gut-ripping. Quelling the feeling of betrayal that he'd invited someone else to the club as he'd done to her, she once again turned her accusation to Carly. "I guess you also forgot to mention you’ve been to a BDSM club!"
"It was just once. It was actually that night I came back home with Ash and Byron," Carly said, her smile growing cheeky. "That's where I actually met them - at Dark Desires. We hit things off just like I told you, and you know the rest. But you…how do you two know each other?"
Once again, Sebastian spoke up. "It was that same night you left the club with Ash and Byron. I know them as members of the club but I had to be sure you were okay after going home with them. So I came by your place, met Brooke and we got…talking."
"Oh," Carly said, eyes wide. Now it was her turn to stare from Brooke to Sebastian as they locked ga
zes, seemingly oblivious to anyone else around them.
"Looks like you forgot to tell me about that, too," Carly said to Brooke with a teasing look.
Snapping out of the spell of Sebastian's blue gaze, Brooke turned to Carly. "I'm sorry. It all happened in a whirl. Sebastian invited me to Dark Desires as well and last week, I went. I also got to meet Jax. I was there again last night. I guess I couldn’t stay away." She looked Sebastian's way again, unable to hide the look of hurt from her eyes before adding to Carly, "Jax kind of agreed to train me to be a submissive."
Carly had a look of pure confusion sprawled across her face as Brooke's words hit her. "Wow. Good for you. I’m envious…you’ve found something special."
Brooke watched with a sinking heart as Carly scuttled off and had half the mind to follow her.
"Don't go," Sebastian said quietly, a gentle hand on her arm making her freeze.
She spun on him with angry eyes but that wicked smile of his was in play again, putting her panties at risk of catching fire as was usual around him or Jax.
"I was hoping we could grab some coffee. There's a bar just right the corner on your street," he said, his tone light. "Just a half hour of your time, Brooke - that's all I'm asking."
Brooke sighed heavily. She knew she really shouldn’t. This man had practically ignored her for a week, after sharing the most mind-boggling night with her and his best friend.
"One question I need to ask," she finally said, eyelids drooping to shield her expression. "You and Carly…did you two ever…."
"No," he said quickly, his grip on her arm tightening reassuringly as he compelled her to meet his deep, stirring gaze. "Like I said earlier, we just happened to meet online on a forum we run for the club. She was curious about the lifestyle and when she found out I was a dom, wanted to find out more. So I decided we meet up but there was never anything romantic or sexual between us. When she hooked up with Ash and Byron, I was happy that she found exactly what she was looking for - some excitement in her life."
"Like me, huh?" Brooke said with a self-mocking laugh. "Though I guess I should be grateful you took the extra effort in my case. Too bad you got bored, huh?"
"Brooke," Sebastian said gruffly, as she withdrew her arm from his grip. Then he let out a sigh. "Look, let's just go somewhere private where we can talk. How about that coffee?"
Her lips twisted. "I'm not sure what a half-hour chat over coffee could ever hope to achieve, but okay. Let’s go."
* * *
She went with Sebastian down to the trendy little coffee bar that was an hour from closing. Brooke tried to lie to herself that she wasn’t relieved Sebastian had never had anything to do with Carly in a sexual way. The range of Brooke's jealousy when it came to Sebastian was a surprise to even her. She never felt jealousy before. And yet, seeing Carly laughing and being cool with Sebastian had made her heart ache just a little.
They soon had their coffees steaming on the table between them and still Sebastian hadn't begun the conversation. When she finally managed to lift her head and hold his gaze, a slow smile crossed his lips.
"You look beautiful," he told her softly. "Especially when you're angry at me."
"You like having me mad at you?" she fired back with a thin smile, while her heart thrummed with pleasure at his words.
"Not for the wrong reasons," Sebastian said more soberly. "Not when you're thinking the worst of me."
"I don't," she whispered. She wrapped her palms around her coffee. "I wanted to, but then I thought about it and I told myself you must have your reasons for staying away."
"Yet every second wanting to be with you," he said. "And that got to me, hard. How I'd never wanted anything so bad in my life."
"Then why…" she began, then shook her head with a deprecatory laugh. "I may be stupid but I'm not blind. I guess it's pretty obvious why you chose to stay away."
"Is it?" Sebastian asked, his hand taking one of hers to cover it warmly in his grasp. Suddenly, Brooke couldn’t breathe. But somehow managed to piece together her next sentence.
"Deep down, I was scared that you stayed away because I was lacking in some way. So I went back to the club last night because I didn’t know how else to reach you. I found Jax and he offered to help me with my…fears. I asked him to teach me more. So I could be a better sub. So that you could be pleased with me."
"Is that what you thought - that you don't please me?"
His deep, rough voice made the tips of her nipples swell and tingle. She bit hard on her lip as her fingers shivered beneath his. "I didn’t know what to think. After that one night and I didn’t hear from you, I was so confused. I hated to feel like I failed."
"And I hate myself to think I put you through that," Sebastian said, his jaw tightening. "Part of me told myself that I needed you to be sure you knew what you wanted, and I didn’t want to cloud your judgment so I gave you some space to figure things out. Because this isn’t a game, Brooke. With you, it's different. I can't just play dom a few nights a week anymore. That isn’t what I want."
A small smile tilted the side of his lips and Brooke couldn’t help another soft blush that swept her cheeks.
"Watching you with Jax last night…the light in your eyes, so full of trust. And then, seeing you blindfolded, gagged and bound while taking your training was such a turn on. That's what I want with you, all the time. And it freaked me out. That I wanted too much."
Brooke's head flew up as she gaped at him. "You were there last night?"
He nodded with a wry smile. "Jax must have told you I went on a business trip. Well, I couldn’t stand it anymore and cut things short to come back a few days earlier. The first place I went was the club, and that's where I saw you and Jax dancing. Two of you together…for one moment I felt I'd blown my chance with you. That I'd let my indecision push you away. But for the most part, I felt glad seeing you with Jax; it just felt right."
"Yes, it did," Brooke replied softly. "But it wasn't…complete. Not without you."
At her words, Sebastian leaned in swiftly, cupping the back of her neck and sealing her lips with his. It was just for a few seconds but the kiss felt like it lasted a lifetime.
"I'm glad you think that way," Sebastian said thickly, his temple resting against hers for a moment. The scent of fragrant coffee filled the air between them; heady. "I'm glad you realize you don't have to choose. That if you wanted, you could have us both."
Once again, Brooke's lashes fluttered to conceal her deepest thoughts as she asked, "Have you and Jax…always shared a sub?"
"No, just once," he told her. "Her name was Shannon and she was a submissive working at the club. One night she asked to play with us both, and it was then Jax and I discovered we played well off each other. We found that we could easily catch what the other might miss, and were able to give double the excitement to our sub and ourselves. That was when Jax and I considered that this was something we would want long term. But Shannon couldn’t withstand that much pressure. Whatever her reasons, it ended soon enough and Jax and I hadn't bothered looking ever since."
Sebastian lifted her knuckles to his lips to brush like silk over her skin. "That's why everything about you blew my mind. When I'd just given up wanting that kind of life, you showed up and it all clicked in place perfectly. Almost too much. Yes, I wanted you and Jax did, too. Unlike me he had no real hesitation. But beneath it all, I kept telling myself you just got into the whole BDSM lifestyle and rushing you into something deeper might frighten you…push you away."
"I understand and you’re right. It scared me at first…it really did," Brooke whispered as she felt the heat of Sebastian's lips on her fingers; sensual and thrilling. "But it wasn’t enough to keep me from trying again. Despite my fears, I let Jax take me through the scene with the gag, blindfold and restraints. And in those moments, I discovered I never felt more free."
Her breathy voice faded as she recalled every moment of last night; the hours of pleasure-pain as she was lost in the darkness of he
r blindfold. The pleasure of Jax's dominant touch that teased and tortured her along with all the other implements he used. He'd held her off from coming as long as possible; making her earn it. And then finally, with continuous slapping on her clit with a leather crop he'd sent her shuttling into bliss. It had been one of the longest, most intense orgasms she'd ever had.
And yet through it all she'd known that it would have been tenfold more intense and beautiful if Sebastian had been there with them. Little had she guessed he'd been watching all along.
"Last night made me realize I'm strong enough to go after what I want if I just let go of my inhibitions and insecurities for once in my life," Brooke finally said, voice only slightly quivery. She didn’t want to seem like she was pushing, or talking Sebastian into believing she was ready. Instead, she wanted to prove it to him. "That's why I made up my mind…that I didn’t want to stop my lessons there. Ever since I discovered this side of myself, I want to give it a chance to blossom and I know that you and Jax are the ones I need…the ones I desire above all others."
Sebastian's hold on her fingers tightened fractionally and the blaze in his eyes flew higher. "What are you saying?" he growled. "Tell me what it is you want."
Just one look from him had her secret folds twitching. Brooke had to quell the heat pooling moistly within her thighs, her cheeks equally hot as she went on, "I'm saying… I want you and Jax. And I'm willing to entrust you both with my…my submission. And if after a month you decide I please you, then I…"
Once again her lips felt the pulsing pressure of Sebastian's lips on hers.
Brooke wasn’t sure where she'd found the nerve to speak out the way she had. Offering herself up that way…she should have more pride! And yet, being able to reveal her darkest desires without shame gave her the greatest feeling of empowerment she'd ever felt. Then came Sebastian's kiss that sped away the last of her constraints.
Shades of Submission: Fifty by Fifty #1: Billionaire Romance Boxed Set Page 81
