I nod, almost annoyed by how much I appreciate this. I need to sleep. I don’t know why it set me off that badly the other day, but it won’t stop. “Thank you.”
She blinks. “Uh, you’re welcome,” she sputters, a look of sheer surprise on her face. “Medication on its own isn’t as effective as pairing it with therapy. We’ve already made some progress. You’ve even managed to meet my eyes a few times. I really do think this is good for you.”
“Maybe.”
“How about we finish this session and you think about it?”
Was I that obvious? I suppose she’s earned that much. She’s done far more than any human has for me in over a century. “Okay. I can do that.”
“Thank you. Do you have any friends? Anyone you talk to other than your priest?”
“Harvey…my parrot.”
She nods, swallowing audibly as her eyebrows crease. Is she worried about me? Her heart rate even increased. That’s novel. “Do you have a job? Anything that would put you around other people? Not even necessarily humans.”
“I don’t trust fiends much more than I trust humans. I haven’t had to work since the thirties. I invested wisely during the Depression, picking a few businesses I was fairly confident would pick up when the economy did and keeping them afloat. They paid dividends, as have the few after.”
“That must be very lonely.”
“I have Harvey.” Am I lonely? “I have books. I prefer being alone.”
“Any lovers? I know you’d mentioned a wife—”
“Drop it right now.” I bare my fangs and stiffen, ready to pounce. “She is off the table for this discussion.”
“Okay.” She gulps, shuddering as she moves back in her seat. It’s the first time she’s seemed that scared. The girl has some grit; most humans would be out of the room. Or on the floor. “I know that it’s part of the whole vampire aesthetic, and perhaps after however many years you’ve lived, you’re beyond these needs, but most people require some companionship from time to time. I think things would be a lot easier for you if you had a friend.” She scratches a scar on her neck.
“Why, are you offering?”
She chuckles. “I don’t think you’d have me.”
“Wow, you really are a good therapist.”
It’s weird seeing her smile. “Glad I can help.”
I adjust in my seat, not quite comfortable being on this good of terms with a human.
“Well, what is it you want to change in your life? You first came to see me because you wanted to be able to approach a human, and now it’s the dreams, but you don’t seem to want to work on the source of your PTSD. I know that it can be hard, but I need to know what it is that you want to work on if you want my help.”
I sigh, staring at the back wall for lack of a window. “Maybe I’ll have an answer for you if I come back. For now, hopefully, the medication will take care of it.”
“All right. That’s perfectly reasonable. There’s no rush to figure things out. I’m just glad you’re reaching out.”
Twiddling my thumbs in my lap, I consider her words. Is that what I’m doing? Do I really need help? I know that that’s what Father Gregory wanted me to do. Wow, I’m failing my priest. Why is it this hard to talk about? I have to relive it every night. What’s one more time? It’s not as if I haven’t had enough time to deal with it—it’s been more than a century—so what am I waiting for? I just don’t trust her. “Reaching out to a human certainly doesn’t make it easier.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s tough. But it gives you exposure in a controlled environment, where there are hundreds of fiends right outside those doors and only one of me. I promise I don’t want to hurt you, but I can also guarantee that I can’t.”
She has a point. “No, you certainly can’t.”
“Great.” She grins, her teeth showing. “Well, let’s work from there. Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable with me? More comfortable interacting with a human?”
What would help with that? Other than her being dead. That would absolutely make things easier. “I’m not sure.”
“Would phone sessions be any easier for you? You wouldn’t have to see my face.”
Fuck. That might actually work. I hate the idea of giving her my phone number—who knows what she could manage to do with that—but it might be the best idea. Maybe if I turn my GPS off it won’t be an issue? Modern technology can be so intimidating. Even rotary phones are such a new invention. “Okay. Yes. We can try that.”
I give her my number. I guess I’m really doing this. Now I really need that medication. I pay for the session and thank her again. As loath as I am to admit it, she seems to actually know what she’s doing. I hope this will help.
* * *
It takes some searching. I pass a stand carrying all sorts of weapons, another with an excessive collection of venison, and a few that seem to be offering more exotic affairs, but I finally find the right place. At least, I think it’s the right place. They seem to be selling a wide variety of medications, if you can call some of it medication. The cannabis I can understand, but some of these things seem like they’d do far more harm than good.
“The hell do you mean two hundred?” A woman to my right almost screams. “This is barely even a hundred dollars’ worth. You want two hundred for it?”
“That’s the price, take it or leave it,” a masculine voice replies. “My last shipment never came in, so I’m running a little short. I can’t part with it for less than that.”
“Oh, give me a break.” She scoffs, her grip tightening on the bottles. “The hell kind of scam are you running? You sure don’t seem to be light. You have just as much stock as usual. Where’s Claire? Is she here? She knows me. She’ll give me the right price.”
I sift through the various bottles and packages, not all of which are labeled, trying to find the pills that Ms. Rosseau-Lester suggested. Prazosin, Prazosin…I don’t see it.
“She’s not in. She should be back next week, but I’m telling you, it’s two hundred.”
Her fist slams on the table, “Call her up.”
“She said she’s not to be disturbed,” he snarls back.
She’s grinding her teeth loud enough that I can barely concentrate. I turn to her, giving her a dirty look, only to find Amelia Sun holding a couple bottles and looking ready to murder the poor demon. She doesn’t seem to notice me. “I’ll give you one fifty for it, fucking scalper.”
He sucks on his teeth but eventually nods. “All right. One fifty and you get out of my hair.”
She throws the money on the table and begins to storm off. I’m tempted to stop her, but I think I’m well past my limit for dealing with humans. Why are there so many here? This is supposed to be a place for fiends, and yet there’re two of them running about like they own the place. It’s a veritable infestation. “Do you have any Prazosin?” I ask. “I’m also looking for Lamotrigine if you have it.”
He looks me up and down, chewing on his cheek as he considers me. Does he even run this stand? “You don’t need that shit,” he mutters, shaking his head. He pulls a vial from somewhere on the table. “Try this. Prazosin’s for bad dreams, right? You’ll have never slept as well.”
“I knew it,” Dr. Sun calls, storming back, her eyes ablaze as she spins on him. “This fucking charlatan. This isn’t even your stand, is it?” She snatches the vial from him, examining it with an expert eye. “Okay, it’s not snake oil, I’ll give you that. What with those horns, I thought you might still be behind the times on grifting.” She pops the cork, sniffing it. “Really?” She turns to me, recognition finally dawning on her face. “Oh, it’s you. This is just ether. I suppose it’ll knock you out, maybe. Not sure it’d work on a vampire, but if that’s what you’re going for, I’d advise some vodka or maybe heroin.” She glares at him. “Who the fuck are you?”
“Claire’s out of town,” he mumbles, quietly enough that she likely can’t even hear him. “I said I’d take over f
or her.”
“Right, and does she know you’re trying to ruin her business? I’ve been a customer of hers for the last three years, and I’m telling her exactly how you handled this.”
“What?” His eyes widen, the glowing red orbs flashing in surprise. “No.” His voice cracks as he takes a step back from us.
“So, you were trying to rip me off?” I let my fangs show, meeting his eyes, making my murderous intent abundantly clear. I’m no demon, but I can look plenty intimidating. “Do you know what I do to people who betray me?” Mostly let them get away with it, honestly. I’m zero for three there. “Do you have what I’m looking for or not?”
His eyes shift between the two of us, finally settling on me. He clearly thinks I’m the bigger threat. I guess he’s never known a human. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Give her money back, all of it,” I say.
“Okay.” He throws the wadded bills on the table, his eyes never leaving mine. I think he may be entranced. I hadn’t realized that worked on demons. “Now give me what I’m looking for, and for her trouble, give this nice lady anything else she wants for free. If you think Claire will be pissed at you for that, just wait until she finds out what you were doing to her customers.” I have absolutely no idea who Claire is.
“Take whatever you want. It’s yours.”
I smile. After all the power I had to give up over the last hour, it feels good to be in control again. I needed this. “Good boy.”
He doesn’t run. He doesn’t even move. He stands there, waiting for us to take whatever we want and be on our way. I wish more of these stands offered this kind of service. I’d shop here more often.
Dr. Sun sifts through the bottles, looking like she has far more of an idea of what she’s looking for than I do. She tosses me a couple packages filled with bubble sheets and grabs a few wads of something in wax paper, stuffing it in her pocket. We walk away from the pitiful demon as he looks on. I wonder if I could’ve actually taken him in a fight. I’m no slouch, but some demons are in a whole other league. My age and experience mean nothing to someone who predates the first crusade. If it wasn’t my powers that made him behave like that, it was Claire. Whoever she is, she must be one hell of a terrifying woman.
“Thank you,” Dr. Sun says, breaking the silence when we make it to the door.
“You’re the one that came to my rescue,” I reply. This feels weird. Maybe my therapy session is already paying off, but I can’t believe I’m being nice to a human. No matter how much she’s done, or how attractive she may be—which is something I definitely hadn’t noticed before, when Harvey was my only concern—she’s still a human.
“Yeah, but I was mostly bullshitting him. Claire would charge one seventy-five.”
I chuckle, surprised to find a smile spreading across my face. “Well, I’m glad I could help you rip him off.”
She pockets the pill bottles, smiling up at me. “Is Harvey doing okay? That was your parrot’s name, right?”
Nodding, I reply, “Yeah, he seems to be doing a lot better. I’ve been meaning to thank you.”
“Just doing my job. You paid a more-than-fair price for it.”
“You do love ripping people off.”
“Well, after today, how about when you finish the medication, bring him back in, and I can make sure it’s all cleared up, and I won’t even charge you? I’d say you already paid for it, getting me all this.”
“I don’t recall it being quite as much as those pills are worth. One seventy-five, plus whatever else you took—”
“All right,” she interrupts, holding up her hands in surrender. “I’ll owe you.”
“You sure you want to be in debt to a vampire?” I smirk, as threatening as I can manage with how broadly I’m still grinning. “Who knows what I might ask you to do.”
She shrugs. “Nothing worth more than about eighty bucks.”
Leaning against the wall, I sigh. Why am I bantering with her? I was terrified of her the other day. I’ve done far more interesting things with humans than rip off a drug dealer before, and I certainly didn’t start bonding with them. It’s not like I’m not afraid, I still think that having humans at the Community Center—anywhere other than the slave market or on the menu—is the worst idea we’ve ever had. Maybe it’s just because she saved Harvey’s life. My opinion of her has been far more charitable since. “Here I was, planning on having you help me kidnap young maidens to feed off of.”
“See, I’ve been to the market. I know that they go for way more than eighty dollars. You’d owe me.”
“I guess I’ll have to find something else for you to do.” I need to get out of here. With Ms. Rosseau-Lester, it’s professional, and with Father Gregory, it’s religious. I have no desire to have a human friend. Hell, I have no desire to have any friends besides Harvey. “I should get going. Thanks again, Dr. Sun.”
“Call me Mia. We’re partners in crime now. I’d say that earns you a first name basis.”
That sounds almost exactly like friends. Unfortunately, my parents would never forgive me for being so rude as to not respond in kind. “You can call me Olivia.”
“Was I not already?” She leans against the wall near me, grabbing one of the bottles from her jacket. She takes a pill before offering another to me. “Want one?”
“Like I said, I’m leaving. Have a good night.” Fortunately, no one stole or dismantled my car while I was inside. I hate leaving it out here. I give her a half-hearted wave and walk back to it as casually as I can manage. What the hell was that? I shouldn’t even bother getting over my fears if it’s going to result in more of that behavior. Humans can’t be trusted, and I certainly shouldn’t be flirting with them. I blink, staring at my key in the ignition. Is that what I was doing? Damn it all.
Chapter Four
Prazosin
I’m so hungry. Hungrier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I don’t know how long I was asleep. It feels like years. I need to eat. I need to drink. I push myself to my feet. Every inch is a mile. My body doesn’t want to cooperate. Did I really swoon on the day bed? What happened? I remember…what was it? All I recall is blood. My own? I look down at myself, but I don’t see blood anywhere. Why does that sound appealing? I must be even hungrier than I thought.
Wait, where did he go? I wasn’t alone. Was I? My head hurts, everything hurts, and I feel like my stomach is trying to devour itself. My chest feels as if there’s molten metal being poured onto it again and again. I don’t even have it in me to scream. Maybe I should just lie back down. I don’t know if I can. I’m starving. If I don’t eat something I might die.
Outside, I hear cannons, clashing steel. I need to get out there. We’re under attack. I have to help my men.
I finally manage to stand without falling back down. Staying on my feet takes all of my will. I have to drag myself to the door. My limbs seem to have been replaced by iron bars. I ignore it, pressing on. I’ve only managed a few feet. If I only had a bite, I’d have the strength to go on.
I push open the door, shielding my eyes from the sudden light from the window. My wife is sitting up in bed, looking out at the sea. She’s waiting there. She looks delicious…beautiful, she looks beautiful.
“My love, are you all right?” she asks, noticing me as I catch myself on the bed. The battle outside is so loud, it’s no wonder she couldn’t hear me. Everything is so loud. Her voice is booming in my ears. I can hear her heart racing. I can hear the blood pumping through her veins. I close my eyes, trying to shut everything out. “Are you unwell? Should I fetch Emilia? Perhaps she could bring you a wet cloth or some water?”
I groan, trying to support myself as I fall against the bed. I’m stronger than this. It couldn’t have been that long, so why am I so weak? Have I been poisoned?
She places a warm hand against my forehead. “You feel cold.”
That smell. I can smell him on her. He was right. More than that, she smells like food. Why do I keep thinking that? “You did
do it,” I breathe.
“I’m sorry?”
“Spare me your apologies. He told me all I need know.” Why would she? She loves me. He can’t be right. I can’t think clearly! I need to eat. I need to eat her. I shake my head, trying to rid myself of that horrid thought. I need to think this through. I still don’t have proof. Where is it? I know it was missing, what was it? Nothing is coming clearly.
“Whatever do you mean?”
I snatch her wrist away, my nails biting into her skin. I feel blood on my fingers. That’s unlike me. I’d never let my nails grow that long. I stare at them, releasing her. My hands don’t look any different than usual. But there’s blood, sharp and red and tempting. The smell of it calls to me. I bring my finger to my lips, slowly, hesitantly, fighting against these base instincts. My tongue reaches out, unbidden, snatching the droplet of blood. It tastes like heaven. My mind is clearer, but it’s still fuzzy. I need more. If I just had more blood, I could figure out what to do.
She clutches her hand to her chest, staring at me in confusion. Blood trickles down, staining her dress. I need it.
I tackle her to the bed. The act is familiar, intimate, and yet violent. I don’t want her, not for who she is, not for the woman I love. I’m eyeing her like a piece of meat. I know she betrayed me, but is this what it’s come to? “What are you—”
I sink my teeth into her neck, ignoring her inquiries. They’re meaningless words now. We’re well past that. All that matters is the blood. Why am I biting her? I thought I was going to lick more of it off her arm. That would make more sense. It’s like my body is moving of its own will.
She convulses under me, fighting back. “Stop. That hurts.”
Her pleas fall on deaf ears. The words don’t even register until sometime later. All I see, all I taste, all I need is her blood. I hold her there, feasting on her, taking her for every last drop.
Olivia Page 5
