“It’s great. Thank you.”
She hands them over and keeps standing in front of me. I assume she still wants to talk, but I’m just interested in burying my feelings in chocolate and opiates.
“Don’t you have an appointment soon?”
She checks her phone and leans against my counter. “Not for another half hour. I’m trying to stay awake until my coffee kicks in.”
She did save me from having to burn to dust in the sun. I suppose I can offer her my unpleasant company. “All right. What did you want to talk about?” I bite into the Boston cream and have to wipe some off my cheek. I’m not sure if it was overfilled or if it’s from my not being used to my increased jaw strength.
Lisa shrugs. “I don’t know.” She pulls herself onto my counter and barely avoids hitting her head on a cabinet. “We haven’t talked much in a few months. You see any good movies? Read something? New boyfriend?”
“New girlfriend.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widen as she stares from her perch. It reminds me a little of Harvey. I miss that annoying little fucker. “I had no idea. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’ve never said anything.”
“Well, yeah, but I’ve known you for like eight years. I shouldn’t make assumptions like that. What’s your girlfriend like?”
This was a trap. I’m trying not to think about Ollie. Hell, I’m trying not to think about anything. “She’s brilliant. She practically collects degrees,” I find myself saying. Great, now I’m thinking about her.
“Wow.”
“She’s had a really rough life, but she’s so strong.” I see her face lying on the pillow before me, her muscles twitching and straining in a dream. I lean back, hitting my head. “I think I’m kind of falling for her.”
“Aw!” She squeals, leaping from the counter and wrapping her arms around me. “I’m really happy for you. You always seem so sad. I’m glad you found someone.”
Am I that obvious? “Thanks.” Reluctantly, I pat her back a few times until she finally releases me.
“We could go on a double date sometime. I think my boyfriend may finally propose soon.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I guess that would be after dark.
Beaming, she plops back down with a little giggle. “How’d you two meet?”
She won’t be in the system, and I don’t know how nosy Lisa might get. What’s a good lie that wouldn’t make it sound like I keep this place running after hours off the books? “She was a friend of a friend, wanted to ask me some questions about her parrot.”
“That’s really cute.”
“He’s a good bird.” I finish my first doughnut. Now I miss Ollie more, and I kind of want to eat Lisa to make her stop asking questions. I’m not sure this is helping.
“If she brings him in, will you introduce me?”
“Sure.”
“Yay!”
Somehow, I make it through the conversation without killing her and deal with my various clients. At least the animals don’t look like food. I’m not sure why that is. I know we can eat them, but it’s only the humans I find myself watching the arteries of and smelling the air for their flavor.
Nevertheless, my teeth remain outside of anyone’s throat, and I finish my appointments, dealing with each of the minor nuisances their pets have. When everyone else leaves, I’m tempted to close up. The sun won’t be down for another hour, but I want to go home and get high.
Before I have the chance, the front door flies open. I find myself ready to fight and have to force myself to calm down. “Can I help you?” I ask, heading into the lobby to find a young man looking around nervously.
“Hi, you, um, you’re the person I’m supposed to see, right? The one who deals with the…I mean, unless you’re not. Do I have the wrong place?” His eyes fall over a few of the animal magazines in the waiting area. The sun is down enough that I can be in here, but I’d rather not try my luck outside yet.
He definitely doesn’t smell human. “Do I work with fiends? Is that the question?”
“Well, yeah. That’s a yes, then?”
“Yes.”
He extends his hand, grinning broadly. “Hi, I’m Dennis. Ms. Rosseau-Lester recommended you. Does that, like, get her some special referral bonus?”
“Actually, it helps you. We made a deal for a slight discount since she sends so many over to me. What seems to be the problem?”
“Wait a second.” He laughs, his smile going from toothy to fangy. “I know that smell. She didn’t say you were a vampire. I thought you were human.”
“I thought it’d be a nice change of pace.”
“You’re new.” He pulls on my hand, tugging me into a hug. I shove him, but his mood seems unfazed. “I’m new too. I was only turned last year. We should hang out. We could make a club or something. Maybe we’d trade secrets, talk about our experiences, and all that. It’d be fun.”
Am I that desperate that I’d be friends with this idiot? No. Absolutely not. “What was it you were saying brought you in today?”
“Oh.” He gasps, letting out a hearty guffaw. “That’s right. I ate someone who had, um, well…” He stammers, staring down at the ground. “AIDS.”
“Okay?”
“Could you, like, test me? Make sure I didn’t get it? Ms. Rosseau-Lester wasn’t too sure if it’d be transmittable. She said it probably wouldn’t, but that I should be tested to make sure.”
“And when was this?”
“I saw her yesterday.”
“No, the bite.”
He smacks himself in the forehead. “Like three days ago.”
“Did you tell her that? I’m pretty sure she’s smarter than this.”
“Well, she said I should see you in a few weeks. I figured sooner is better, right?”
I roll my eyes and resist snorting the rest of the opiates in my pocket. “It takes longer than three days to be detectable. Also, you’re a vampire, so you’re probably fine, and if not, drink some blood to heal up. But how about you come back in three weeks, and I’ll run those tests. Even if you could get it, the antibodies haven’t had time to develop yet.”
“But that’s so long.”
“You’re immortal. You’re fine. I can almost guarantee you have nothing to worry about, as I’ve run blood work on vampires before, and nothing stays in there, but because you are this concerned, come back in about a month, and we’ll run those tests to put your mind at ease. Okay?”
He nods. “Yeah. Okay. Since we don’t have to do anything, want to hang out? We can talk about how you got turned. I’m a great listener.”
For half a second, I almost consider it. “I’ll see you in a month.”
Sulking, he leaves me alone, and after another hour, I close up early. Sweet blissful oblivion awaits me at home, and I don’t want to keep it waiting.
Chapter Nineteen
Three Weeks Later
“I’ve missed you. Can we talk tonight? Pick me up from work around ten?” I stare at the message on my phone. She really does still want to see me. I blink away sleep, chop up some carrots for Harvey, and take a shower. I wonder how she’s doing now. I gave her the space she asked for, but I wish I could’ve been there for her. I know how terrifying this transformation can be. Well, she’s a lot stronger than I am, so I’m sure she’s fine.
Wearing a gray blazer, matching skirt, and a button-up blouse, I head through the open doors of her clinic. The door to her office is closed. I take a seat in the lobby, tapping the ground with my foot as I wait. I hate to admit how nervous I am. This woman must be special to stir such emotions in me. I had no issue being alone all these years, yet these last three weeks felt almost as long as three years. Not to say that’s a terrible wait—three years is nothing for someone as old as I am—but it’s still longer than three weeks should be.
“Hey, there,” she says, flashing a quick smile as she walks a massive, furry four-legged creature to the counter. Is that a fucking bunyip? Glad she didn’t piss it off. I prefer this block s
till being here. “Make sure you remember to brush your tusks too, okay?” she reminds the creature as it somehow hands over a hundred-dollar bill using its foot.
“I will. I don’t want another infection.” Her voice booms through the room. Her footsteps shake the chair beneath me when she leaves.
“Having fun?” I ask, pulling myself to my feet. Do I go in for a hug? I’m trying to see what she wants first, but I have really missed her.
Throwing her arms around me, she pulls me close, her lips brushing mine before she rests her head on my shoulder. “It’s good to see you, Ollie. I’m sorry it’s been too long.”
When she pulls back, I can’t help but notice how large her pupils look. “How have you been doing?”
She shrugs. “Buy me dinner? We can talk about it at my place, maybe? It hasn’t been the same without you there.”
With an enthusiastic nod, I slide my arm through hers and walk her to my car. “What are you feeling like?”
“Blood sausage?”
I quirk an eyebrow at her.
“I’m joking. How about pancakes?”
“Not like I had breakfast. Sure, sounds good.” I open the door for her and drive the few kilometers there. It smells richly of syrup outside. I can’t imagine how coagulated the blood of some of the people inside must be. We grab seats by a window, and I watch the night sky while Mia sorts out her thoughts.
With her lips pursed, she looks me up and down, an appreciative glint in her eye. “I want to say again that it wasn’t anything to do with you. I do still want to be with you.”
“I know.” Well, I mostly knew. “I want that too.” I wait, not asking any questions. She’ll tell me what she wants me to know.
Mia smiles at the waitress and waits until she leaves with our orders to elaborate. “I killed someone.”
“You hunted?”
“No. I can’t. I mean, I killed Iago.”
“You said it yourself, he was a monster.” I want to comfort her, to convince her that she hasn’t done anything wrong, but I know full well that I need to let her talk. She’s had the time to figure things out, and my ill-informed additions won’t help until I have the whole story. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. You’re right, he was, but it doesn’t change that I’m the one that did it. And hell, now I’m a monster too.”
I resist saying fiend. I suppose it’s hardly offensive when she says it now.
“You know I never liked people, but I’m still a doctor. I never wanted to take a life. I wanted to help animals, and eventually, that turned into helping fiends as well. It shouldn’t have ever involved killing.”
“I’m sorry I made you do that.”
Her hand snatches mine out of the air, squeezing it. “You didn’t. Iago did. Like I said, I don’t blame you. I just had a lot to process.”
“And how have you been dealing with it?”
Those dilated pupils avoid my gaze. What would be strong enough to last this long on a vampire? “Same way I handle everything, but I have a much stronger tolerance now.”
“That’s not a sustainable solution—”
“I know!” She calms herself as a few stoned college students look in our direction. “I know it’s not. But I can’t even sleep at night. All I see is his face, a few feet away from his body, staring up at me. Every time I close my eyes, in every dream, in every face, it’s right there. The only thing that quiets it at all, that makes me stop hearing his voice, stop killing him again and again and again, is being so high that I can’t even think straight.”
My heart breaks, and my grip on her hand tightens. I found this wonderful woman, and I turned her into me. A murderous, bloodthirsty, irreparably traumatized vampire. “I’m so sorry. I know that feeling. I deal with it every single day. In fact, you’ve actually helped me. Having you there when I woke up helped, sure, but you killed the source of half of my nightmares. I still see those hunters, all the time, but it’s not like it was…it’s my past haunting me now, not the eternal fear of it returning to my present.”
She nods, taking a sip of water, blinking tears out of her eyes. “I know you know. I never wanted to understand what you go through, and now that I do, I don’t know how you’ve put up with it for this long.”
“Pets, mostly. It gives me something I need to look after. A reason that I can’t give up and die.”
“Huh. Well, maybe I should start looking after Harvey too.”
“Mia?” I ask, not wanting to make any assumption from that sentence.
“I’m not saying we should U-Haul or anything, but I really liked sharing my place with you, especially since you actually cook and clean and do things that aren’t drugging yourself up. Even when you’re not on Ritalin, and that’s more than I can say.”
“My place is a lot farther from your work.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to talk her out of it or saying we can stay at her place.
“I guess you’ll have to drive me.” She smirks. “I mean, on nights when I’m staying there.”
“I suppose I will.”
Plates of pancakes are set before us with hash browns on the side. She releases my hand, her fingers trailing along my wrist as she pulls away.
“Thank you,” I say to the waitress. When she’s gone, I say, “You know, you probably shouldn’t keep all those drugs around Harvey. They could be bad for him, and you’re his vet, so causing him to need more treatment must be unethical.”
“I guess.” She doesn’t sound terribly convinced.
“Do you think you could handle not using them all the time?” In truth, it’s not about Harvey, and she knows it. I didn’t mind how she used them before because it was to keep her stable, and we all make sacrifices for that, but she’s talking about turning off her emotions all the time. I’m a little jealous, but it’s not healthy.
“I’m fine, Ollie.”
“How much have you spent on drugs this week?”
Her eyes dance on the ceiling as she does the math in her head. “A couple grand. Like I said, this tolerance is ridiculous.”
“And that doesn’t sound like an issue?”
“Wouldn’t be an issue if I wasn’t a vampire.”
“Mia—”
“Sorry. It’s not your fault. I asked for this. It lets me work. I like working. I just hate dealing with being alive. Even more than usual.”
“Will you try seeing Elizabeth? She’s been a huge help to me, and I think it could do you a lot of good with processing everything. I’m here for you, whatever you need, and you know that I understand and am more than willing to listen, but you need more than that.”
“You could go get a degree in therapy in a couple years. I believe in you. I have time. I’ll wait.”
“I have one, but I’m your girlfriend, and I’m not exactly impartial.”
She shrugs, slathering syrup on her hotcakes and shoving a bite into her mouth, taking her time chewing so she doesn’t have to acknowledge my point.
I wait and eat my own food.
“Can I still move in if I don’t?”
She did mean that, then. With a sigh, I nod. “Yes. I want you to do it for you. I trust you, and I know that you’ll try to look after yourself the best you can.”
She scoffs at that. “Right.” Another snorting laugh, and she adds, “I guess I can try to take care of myself if it means that much to you. I am stuck being alive for a while.”
“A fate for which I am quite grateful.”
“I’ll see the fucking therapist,” she grumbles, skewering another bite of pancakes. “But I’m still using drugs. The bipolar shit doesn’t help.”
“It’s longer lasting, might be worth it with your new tolerance.”
She chomps down on the pancakes hard enough to bite off the tongs of the fork. “I’ll look into it.”
“That’s all I ask. Don’t swallow that.”
She spits out the metal, glares at it, and shakes her head. “After we finish up here, can we go grab my bags? I just want to b
e someplace where I wasn’t knocked out and kidnapped.”
I hadn’t even thought of that. Why am I so bad at considering her trauma? I consider mine constantly. “Yeah, finish up your pancakes, and we’ll go.” I flag the waitress down for a new fork.
* * *
“This is what you’ve been hiding from me,” Mia marvels from the passenger seat, an actual emotion on her face as she takes in my estate. It’s not as impressive as she seems convinced it is, but it’s still a pretty large house, with a good bit of land. I do like my privacy. “I knew you were rich, but wow.”
“Are you only dating me for my money?”
“If I was, I think I’d have pestered you for drug money the last few weeks.”
I’d been wondering if that was going to come up. “Do you—”
“I can look after myself. I have a well paying job and a black-market operation, plus a good bit in savings. I promise I won’t leech off you or anything.”
“It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”
“Please, you ate your last housewife.” Her eyes widen, and she waves her hands in front of her. “Holy shit, I’m sorry. I wasn’t…I didn’t…”
Ignoring her, I climb out of the car. I know she didn’t mean that. Just wasn’t expecting it.
“Ollie, please, I’m so sorry.” She hesitantly approaches me, reaching out slowly enough that I could avoid her without issue. I let her take my hand. “That was so stupid. I can’t even offer an explanation.”
“You’re bitter and high and making shitty jokes?”
“That’s a pretty good explanation.”
I pull her hand to me, running my thumb along her knuckles. “Don’t joke like that, please. Besides, I know you would never want to be a housewife. You love your work too much.” It is why she became a vampire, after all.
She nods, leaning her head against my shoulder. “I’m still really sorry.”
“I know. It’s okay.” I play my fingers through her hair, and I breathe in her scent. Maybe not the best first couple of hours, but it’s good to have her back. “Want me to give you the tour?”
“Do we need a golf cart or something?”
“It’s not that big.”
Olivia Page 23
