by Aly Martinez
Which meant absolutely nothing got done at the apartment, and it was now the day before Christmas Eve and we were frantically trying to pack—just three hours before the movers got there.
Quarry was stomping around like a maniac, pissed because, while I had remembered to book the movers, I had somehow managed to forget the packers. I’d learned this little detail during the confirmation phone call the night before. Quarry had been none too happy, but after I’d spent over an hour talking to the manager, it had appeared we were on our own for packing. Quarry had rushed out and bought as many boxes as he could find, but it wasn’t going to be enough. It was truly amazing how much shit the two of us had been able to cram into that apartment over the years.
“Babe!” Quarry called, suddenly appearing in the kitchen, where I was packing plates. His hands were filled with three boxes of Christmas tree cakes.
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t have to show me every time you find more. I have admitted to having a slight hoarding problem when it comes to seasonal snacks, but you can’t fault me. They are only available for a few months each year. Just put those with the rest of them.”
His lips quirked humorously. “Really? You want me to just add these to the pile?” He opened the box and dumped them on the floor.
“Q! What the hell!”
“They’re green,” he informed.
“Of course. They’re Christmas tree…” I paused when I got a better look at them. “Oh, God, gross!”
He laughed heartily and stepped around a mountain of boxes to link his arms around my waist. “Exactly how long have you been hoarding snack cakes in my room? Those expired three years ago.”
“I have too many shoes to keep them in my closet.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Those were under my dresser.”
“Which is probably why I forgot them,” I retorted snottily.
He only grinned then kissed me. Plates crashed to the floor, shattering as he lifted me to sit on the counter.
“Leave the plates and go pack your panties. I started to do it but stopped when I found your vibrator.”
My mouth dropped open, causing his eyes to light with humor. “What the hell were you doing packing my panties?”
He ignored my question, pressed my legs open, and wedged his bulky body between them. “Your batteries were dead. Not sure if that means you’ve been hitting it every day or if you haven’t used it in so long they died. Either way, it made my dick so fucking hard thinking about it.” He licked up the side of my neck and threaded his fingers into the back of my hair.
My annoyance was trumped by the sudden heat pooling between my legs. “We have to pack,” I moaned, angling my head to give him more access.
“I just got off the phone with the moving company. They’re sending packers.” He raked his teeth across my skin, sending shivers down my spine.
“I thought they didn’t have any available?” I asked, not giving one single fuck about the answer as I glided my hand under his shirt and up his muscular chest.
“Being a professional boxer has some perks, Rocky.” He took my mouth in a sweltering kiss, brushing his thumbs over my nipples when he pulled away. “Money doesn’t hurt either, Cheapo.” He suddenly stepped away and leaned his hip against the counter. Crossing his arms over his chest, he fought back a smile. “Guy told me you talked them down three hundred bucks.”
“I had a coupon,” I stated proudly.
His lips twitched again. “Right. Well, your coupon didn’t get us packers, so I paid him an extra grand. Now, we have packers. So let’s pack the shit you don’t want strangers touching, like, say…your panties and whatever other sex toys you have hidden in your room, and head back to the house, where I can fuck you without the panties but maybe with the toys and then wait for your million Christmas tree cakes to be delivered this afternoon.” He grinned wolfishly.
His plan was definitely better than mine.
“Sorry I dropped the ball on this moving thing. I’ve been so busy.”
He helped me off the counter, not putting me down until we’d cleared the broken glass. “I know you have, and you need to slow down. What if you stepped down as director at the community center and took a volunteer position?”
“What if you stop suggesting that I quit the job I love?”
He groaned. We’d had that argument at least twelve times over the last month. We both knew that it wasn’t going to end well for him.
“Okay, okay,” he surrendered. “I’m just saying you don’t have to work anymore. Well…I mean, you don’t have to work for anyone but me anymore.” He patronizingly patted my ass.
Swatting his hands away, I made my way into my bedroom, where sure enough, my vibrator was sitting on my dresser. “Well, you should know, if you keep that attitude up, I’m replacing you permanently with this.” I lifted the toy at him.
He laughed loudly. “You’re so full of shit.”
I really was. Not a toy in the world could replace Quarry. Which was exactly why it was no longer in my nightstand but rather untouched in my panty drawer. I’d gone through more batteries than I’d ever admit over the last few years, but now that he was in my bed every night, I had no use for them anymore.
“Whatever,” I replied when a witty retort failed me. After nabbing a box off the floor, I threw it in his direction. “Okay, you pack the top shelf in my closet, and I’ll handle my unmentionables. Then we can get the hell out of here. The packers can do the rest.”
“Oooo, the top shelf! Whatcha got hiding up here?” he teased.
I shrugged, grabbing my own box and going to work on my drawers. “Not much. Just my collection of midget porn. And the dominatrix whip I’ve not had the chance to use on you yet.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
“I believe the correct answer is: Yes, mistress. But I’ll give you a free pass for now since I haven’t beaten you into submission yet.”
He chuckled, and I heard him digging around in my closet.
A few seconds later, he sighed. “I’m not sure what it says about me, but I’m disappointed to find out you were kidding. Maybe we should make a stop before heading back to the house.”
I shook my head with a huge smile on my face. “Just pack,” I told him, mentally scheduling a stop at the sex shop to pick up a few last-minute Christmas gifts for my guy.
We both went back to packing boxes.
Holiday music was playing through the speakers in my room while I meticulously folded my underwear, matching them with my bras, when a loud curse caught my attention.
I spun and found Quarry reading papers I immediately recognized.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he boomed, murderous eyes jumping to mine.
My chest tightened, but my pulse spiked in anger. No one got to read my letter from Mia. Not even him.
“What the hell are you doing?” I stomped toward him and tried to snatch it from his hands, but he lifted it over his head, holding it out of my reach.
“Please, God, Liv. Tell me this is a fucking joke,” he snapped.
I stared at him in confusion. What was he mad about? He was reading my letter—not the other way around. I never would have done that to him. Never.
“Did you seriously just read my letter from Mia?” I yanked at his arm, but it was useless. He was too tall and strong for me to do anything about it.
“I damn sure did,” he sneered, storming out of the room.
“Give that back to me. You have no right to…” I rushed after him but paused when I reached his room.
The muscles in his neck were straining, and his nose was still buried in my letter, but his other hand was outstretched, offering a hot-pink envelope my way.
“Why the fuck have we never traded letters?” he asked without looking at me.
“Uh, because they’re private,” I said, lunging forward and trying to snatch my papers from his hands.
He backed out of my reach.
After tossing the envelope on the bed, he s
tarted counting something on the paper.
“Damn it, Q. Give that back to me!”
He finally looked up—a mischievous smile softening his irate face.
“Twenty-seven,” he stated in an eerie whisper. “Twenty-fucking-seven, Rocky.” He took a dangerous step in my direction.
I instinctively backed away. “W-what?”
He passed me by and snatched the envelope off the bed. “Read it.”
I shook my head. “She wrote that for you. It’s none of my business what it says.”
“You aren’t even the tiniest bit curious?” He quirked his lips, incredulous.
I glanced at the envelope and lied. “If she’d wanted me to read it, she’d have addressed it to me.”
Groaning in frustration, he looked back down. “Right. Loyal to a fucking fault. Okay.” He laughed without humor. “Quiet, quick, quilt, quirk, quaint, quizzical, queasy, quality, quill, and quasi.” His eyes flashed back up. “And that’s only the first paragraph.” He dragged a frustrated hand through his hair. “For fuck’s sake, Liv. Please tell me you are not this blind.”
Clearly, I was, because I had no clue what the hell he was ranting about. I did know he had my letter and was acting like an asshole for no reason. I focused on that.
“Give me my letter!” I shrieked, losing all patience.
Quarry had already lost his though. He picked his letter up off the bed and made a dramatic show of opening it and then reading. “‘I love you, Quarry Page. And I know you loved me too. But, if you’re reading this, I’m past tense. You can’t be afraid to move on. Live, Q! Love. In the present! Go! Like, right now! Put this letter down.” He paused and lifted his eyes to mine before finishing. “‘And live.’” He dropped his paper back on the bed and then flipped to the back of mine. “‘You can’t be afraid of the quiet, Liv. The only thing hiding in the silence is the loneliness in your heart. Quell the silence and find a way to move on. Quit living in fear and quench your thirst for life the way you’ve always wanted to. You deserve it.” He stopped and looked up, unimpressed. “Please fucking tell me that you realize that bullshit makes no fucking sense.”
I reached forward and snatched my letter from his fingers. “What I know is that you had no right to read that. Those were her final words to me. They don’t need to make sense to you.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, and I watched his anger disappear right before my eyes. A small humor-filled smile crept across his face.
“So you think it’s completely coincidental that she used twenty-seven words that start with the letter Q in your letter? And I’d like to point out, while I didn’t go to college, I’m pretty sure she spelled quintessentially wrong and I don’t even think qat is a real word.”
I opened my mouth to reply then quickly closed it. I’d actually never thought of it before. Mia had been crazy. Her letter might not have been a work of art by Shakespeare, but it had comforted me on many nights over the years. I’d never once questioned her motives when she’d written it. Now…
Quarry slowly approached, pinning me against the wall with his hard body. Tenderly cupping my cheek, he whispered, “I suppose you also think it’s a complete coincidence that my letter clearly states that I should ‘move on and live.’ Again, I’m not nearly as well educated as you are…but after seeing your letter, it’s not fucking lost on me that your name happens to be Liv and my nickname is Q.”
My breath caught, and my eyes began to sting. I had no idea what to say.
Quarry did.
“We’re not wrong, Rocky. I have no idea what the fuck kind of game she was playing. Or why she would have even attempted to play it. But I’m sorry, it says something that, even in her last days, she gave that to us. I know you, and while I can tell you’ve put that guilt aside and committed to me, I’d bet my fucking bank account that it’s still hidden inside that beautiful mind of yours somewhere.”
At that, my eyes didn’t just burn—they leaked. He knew me well. No matter what the price, I’d decided I was going to be with Quarry. But there was always going to be a tinge of guilt over the fact that a part of me had wanted him even while she’d been alive. I was suddenly realizing that it wasn’t nearly the betrayal I’d made it out to be. Mia had obviously recognized it, and better yet, she’d known I’d loved her enough that I never would have made a move on him. She’d trusted me. That alone set me free. I should have known she hadn’t been stupid. No, Mia March had been an incredible—albeit slightly twisted—person. This stupid letter crap was merely her way of giving me permission to have the one thing I’d always wanted.
Him.
“Why was she so freaking weird?” I asked through tears. “She couldn’t just say, ‘Hey, it’s okay if you two want to hook up.’”
Quarry chuckled, pulling me tight against his chest. “No, because I’m pretty sure she would not be okay with us hooking up. She’d find a way to cut my nuts off from the great beyond if she thought I was just fucking you.”
I laughed through tears. “She totally would.”
“She wanted us to be happy, Liv,” he whispered, brushing his lips against mine. “And she knew that, after she was gone, you were the only person who would ever be able to give that to me.” He released me and crouched down so we were eye to eye. Holding my gaze, he swore, “She was right. No one in the world could have pulled me out of the darkness, time and time again, the way you have. I don’t know why you and I had to suffer to get here, but this right here is how it was always supposed to be. I’ve never been able to find a purpose in her death before, but those letters, the way I feel right now, knowing I can finally have all of you… I can’t help but feel like maybe this was her purpose. This was the madness we had to overcome in order to finally realize we were meant for each other.”
Staring into the hazel eyes that had always owned my heart, I couldn’t help but agree with him.
I sniffled and dropped my forehead to his chest. “Qat is a word.”
He chuckled. “Learn something new every day.”
After gliding my hands up his chest, I circled my arms around his neck, “I love you.”
“I love you too, Rocky. Every. Single. Day.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Quarry
“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” I bit out, pacing a path into the manicured grass. Considering I was alone and standing in front of Mia’s grave, my question went not surprisingly unanswered.
It had been a while since I’d been out to the cemetery, but after dropping Liv off at the new house, I knew that it was time for a special trip.
“Those letters were the most ridiculous play I have ever seen. Do you have any idea how hard I’ve had to work to convince her that we weren’t having an affair on you? For fuck’s sake, Mia. You really could have saved me a lot of trouble if you’d stopped with the mind games.” I stilled, glancing down at the small stone that marked her final resting spot. At the sight, the pain still sliced through me, but a smile grew on my face. “Thank you,” I whispered into the cold, dark night. My breath formed a puff of white, and as it dissipated, it took a lifetime of pain along with it. “Thank you so fucking much for her.”
I stood there for a few minutes longer, trying to find words to express my gratitude for the way Mia March had touched my life.
For keeping me in line as a teen when I’d thought that, at any minute, the world was going to crumble at my feet.
For loving such a broken boy who had been so angry that he couldn’t even figure out how to love himself but had somehow found a woman who would love him anyway.
For accepting Liv and healing her timid soul in a way I never would have been capable of doing.
For being so strong in the face of death that she’d still had the foresight to offer Liv and me peace in a world where she no longer existed.
And, most of all, for just being the type of woman who loved with wild abandon even in the middle of utter chaos.
She’d been gone for almost five years, and
I could have stood there for five more, trying to find those words of gratitude, but that wouldn’t have been living. Right then, the woman Mia had all but given to me was at home, curled up next to a fire, waiting for me to come home, so that’s what I did.
With a simple nod, I signed the words I love you and then headed back to my car.
* * *
“Leo, come on, man!” I complained.
Liv shifted in my lap, passing me her empty wine glass to set on the end table. “Let him talk,” she scolded, burrowing into my side.
It was Christmas night, and we were all over at Till’s house, relaxing after a huge dinner. Slate and Erica had come over with their kids, and Leo and Sarah had driven down the night before with Liv’s little brother, Ty, so we could all be together on Christmas Day. I had personally invited Leo with one thing on my mind, but as he stood in front of my entire family, preparing to tell this story, I knew I’d made a huge mistake.
“Jesus, how old were you, Q?” Leo asked, but I refused to answer.
“Thirteen!” Till called out with a huge smile from the couch, his arms securely anchored to Eliza’s thigh. His other was wrapped around a beer.
“Right. Okay, so he was thirteen. You have to remember Quarry didn’t look anything like a kid back then. I knew grown men who would have cowered if he’d approached them in a dark alley.”
“Damn right!” I yelled, causing the whole group to laugh.
“So there I was, doing some paperwork in Slate’s office, when the door swung open, and lo and behold, there stood this mutant teenager. I shit you not, the light flowed in from behind him like he was the grim reaper coming to take my soul.”
I groaned, knowing that, if this was the sensationalized spin Leo was giving it, this story was going to get a whole lot worse in a few minutes.
Liv looked back at me and giggled. I found not one thing funny, but her exuberant reaction still made me chuckle.
Leo continued. “When my eyes adjusted, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The Great ‘Stone Fist’ Page, king of amateur boxing, was standing in front of me with tears streaming from his eyes.” He raked his fingers down his face to exaggerate the tears.
