by Ava Dunne
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Please Note
Dedication
Cast of Characters
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
Acknowledgements
Tips on Choosing a Cruise
Sights Visited in Savasana at Sea
Preview of Davy Jones Dharma —Nautical Namaste Mystery #2
Preview of Playing the Angles
The Gwen Finnegan Mysteries
Delectable Digital Delights
About the Author — Ava Dunne
PLEASE NOTE
THIS IS A WORK OF fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
DEDICATION
FOR SONIA, WITH WHOM I worked in a cruise line office in San Francisco in the 1980s. We’ve lost touch over the years, but your laughter and friendship have remained with me always.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Don’t miss the “Meet the Crew” feature on the Nautical Namaste website:
http://nauticalnamaste.devonellingtonwork.com/crew.html
and the “Meet the Passengers” feature on the same website:
http://nauticalnamaste.devonellingtonwork.com/passengers.html
…
On both land and sea:
Sophie Batchelder — yoga instructor. When she loses her job and is dumped by her fiancé in the same day, she accepts a job on a cruise ship.
On Land (including Sophie’s family):
Gamma Batchelder — Sophie’s paternal grandmother and wise consultant, currently living in a retirement community in Perdido Key, Florida.
Carmen — homeless woman roaming the Union Square area, who Sophie feeds and tries to keep an eye on.
Jack Merrill — Sophie’s fiancé and corporate marketing guru. Soon to be her ex-fiancé.
Alyssa — Sophie’s fellow yoga teacher at Jelena Hahn’s NYC studio.
Loolie — the receptionist at the yoga studio.
Jelena Hahn — owner of NYC yoga studio where Sophie works at the beginning of the series.
Rowena Callahan — one of Sophie’s yoga students. Also works for the Diamond Cruise Line and hires Sophie.
Kath — another of Sophie’s yoga students, and a friend of Rowena’s.
Celeste Vandermeer, January Keating, Linette Hush — three of Sophie’s favorite authors.
Corinne — Jack’s receptionist at work.
Fawn Lassiter — Sophie’s housemate. Owns the Brooklyn brownstone where she rents a room. Works for a private family philanthropic foundation.
Bianca Suede — Sophie’s other housemate in the Brooklyn brownstone. Performance artist and tarot reader.
Freddie Diaz — college friend of Sophie’s, now also close to Fawn & Bianca. Professional artist.
Cassidy — Jack’s younger sister. Wants to stay friends with Sophie after the breakup.
Edwina Batchelder — Sophie’s next older sister, an archaeologist on a dig in South America.
Antonia Batchelder — Sophie’s mother, living in Taos.
Victoria Batchelder-Aston — Sophie’s eldest sister, married and living in London.
Rick Batchelder — Sophie’s older brother, living in DC working in Intelligence.
…
At Sea — Officers, Staff, and Crew of the Charisma:
Geri Smith — Lead Yoga Instructor. Runs an interesting sideline.
Hans Mueller — Fitness director, and Sophie and Geri’s immediate boss. Intimidating man.
Gary Bates — Engineer on the ship. In love with Geri.
Sebastian Anger — Engineer on the ship. Also in charge of Sophie’s Muster station.
Roz McIntyre — dancer, part of the entertainment staff. Likes bad men and good champagne.
Andrew Ellis — registered nurse.
Harmonia Ocean — tarot reader, and genuinely psychic.
Merhati Chandra — in charge of the laundry room.
Chief Security Officer Dhruv Bakshi — head of security on the Charisma.
Amy Russell — Cruise Director
Angie Castillo — Sophie’s roommate on the ship. Works as the night bartender in the Glitterati Bar.
Jacques Coronado —Spa Director. Likes to try bossing Sophie around.
Daciana Enescu — VIP Cabin Steward. Her twin is Costel.
Nicolette Powell — featured dancer. Roz’s chief rival.
Becky Cheung — blackjack dealer in the Casino. She and her roommate share the bathroom with Sophie & Angie.
Bassio Mantelli — One of the hosts who works in the Supper Club and throughout the ship, providing conversation and dance partnering to unaccompanied women on the cruise.
Hillary Gaffney — lifeguard. Becky’s roommate. They share the bathroom with Sophie and Angie.
Second Officer Viktor Horvat — one of the ship’s elite, it doesn’t stop him from messing where he shouldn’t with staff.
Ewan Drummond — Radio Officer. Had extra business with Geri, and assumes Sophie’s taking over.
Murali Acharya — One of the security officers
Ajeet Kumar — Restaurant Manager. Dislikes Americans; thinks they’re soft.
Kulap Aromdee — cleans Sophie & Angie’s cabin.
Arabella Cortez and Ray Phillips — Stars and winners of the reality show Dance-aholics, they signed a ten-month contract to appear in the Mainstage Show.
Kiki Lowell — massage therapist.
Veronika Sokolov — works in the dining room. Has her sights set on Sebastian.
London Coates — dancer on the entertainment staff and great at Internet research.
Xerses — ship’s illusionist.
Maude Chenery — Tiki Bar hostess
Alan Hansen — works in the Steakhouse; ex-boyfriend of Harmonia’s on both land and sea.
Lorna Furello — dancer on the entertainment staff. Roz jokes Lorna could find the good in Jack the Ripper.
Costel Enescu — Daciana’s twin. Works in the main dining room.
Peregrine Pepperman — Ship’s Purser.
Dean Lincoln — featured dancer, often Nicolette’s partner; known for his extra-curricular activities.
Lainey Prescott — Youth Director, in charge of child & youth activities.
Matt Lewis & Wendy Cooper — dancers. They are the “Vintage Couple” in the Supper Club.
Ernie Peppras — Ship’s engineer and Sebastian’s friend.
Dr. Heng Zhao — Ship’s doctor.
Environmental Compliance Officer Bohai Wen — in charge of making sure the ship is within the environmental regulations.
Captain Kjeld Poulson — Ship’s Captain. Responsible for steering, navigation, and everything else on the voyage.
Staff Captain Agamemnon Christakos — second in command of the ship, in charge of making sure the staff side runs smoothly.
Javier Garcia — Hotel Manager, in charge of the hospitality and guest relations side of the operation.
“Remembrance Man” — a mysterious crewmember who threatens Sophie when he thinks she’s taking over Geri’s side business. Sophie never sees him, but he smells of rosemary.
…
At Sea — Passengers relevant to this voyage:
Kristina Murray — award-winning actress in her 30s, a VIP guest on the ship who demands private yoga lessons. Married to fellow famous actor, Orrin Flaherty.
Orrin Flaherty — award-winning actor, married to Kristina Murray. VIP guest on the ship.
Lydia — shy, bookish teenaged girl, taking yoga for the first time. Her father just remarried and she’s the third wheel on the honeymoon.
Duncan Cooke — NYPD Homicide Detective, recovering from a gunshot wound to his leg. Still has to use a cane.
Neil Wallace — frequent cruise guest and dedicated yoga practitioner.
Stella & Bartholomew Orsini — they have the beauty and casual elegance of a Golden Age Hollywood couple. They also like to break rules, whenever possible.
Bridey — a lively, older woman, traveling with a Red Hat group. Loves yoga. Takes Lydia under her wing.
Bridey’s Suitor — an older gentleman quite taken with Bridey, and always sets his mat beside hers in class.
Luke — recently returned from multiple tours of duty in the Middle East, this ex-marine is trying to reconnect with his family and find some solace in regular yoga and meditation practice.
Melodie — traveling as a bridesmaid with a wedding party. One of Sophie’s yoga students.
Joshua — traveling as a groomsman with a different wedding party. One of Sophie’s yoga students.
Natalie — another teen, she and Lydia meet at the rock-climbing wall and become friends.
Special Agent Anna Vallejo — FBI, joins the ship at Nassau when Geri’s death is declared murder.
Special Agent Burt Madigan — FBI, Vallejo’s partner, joins the ship at Nassau.
CHAPTER ONE
Bad luck comes in threes.
Experience taught me to believe Gamma Batchelder, and Gamma Batchelder (may she live in good health in the sunshine of Perdido Key, Florida) predicted that bad luck always came in threes. I had my fill for the day.
My boot heel broke on the subway. An errant taxi driver splashed me, intentionally veering close to drive through an oily puddle. One, two. Neither was earth-shatteringly awful, but, in my experience, minor incidents built up to major incidents.
Name it, I reminded myself. Name it and let it go.
I mulled over potential names for the chaos while I took a quick detour to the deli between the Union Square subway station and the yoga studio. I bought a plain bagel with cream cheese, a small carton of orange juice, and a chocolate chip cookie. When I turned the corner onto W. 17th St., I handed it to the woman huddled in the long black coat, the cracked skin of her calves sticking out from her moldy, dark blue skirt. “Here you go, Carmen. Thought you might like some breakfast.”
“Ain’t you the dearest, dear?” The woman smiled at me. If she lost many more teeth, she wouldn’t be able to eat bagels anymore. I wondered if she still had the toothbrush I bought her last week.
“Make sure you go to St. Peter’s tonight for dinner, okay?” I touched her shoulder. Carmen shrugged, and I knew better than to force the issue. At least she knew I wasn’t squeamish about contact with her. Did those milky cataracts trap her soul behind her eyes or protect it?
I staggered into the building on W. 17th Street, just off Union Square. I shook the water out of my strawberry blonde curls that never behaved, out of my eyelashes, and stepped out of my boots. In socks, I clambered up the narrow stairs to the second floor, housing the yoga studio where I taught twelve classes a week.
I tripped going up the stairs, and heard Gamma Batchelder’s intonation inside my head, “If you trip going up the stairs, you won’t get married that year.”
That prophecy wouldn’t come true. Jack and I booked a June wedding date; we were in late April. I’d mail out the invitations next week. Gamma Batchelder would be wrong. First time for everything.
The stairs opened out onto a wide expanse of shiny bamboo flooring. The space was an old loft, renovated to be a state-of-the-art yoga studio, with two studio rooms, showers, juice bar, and a shop from which I could rarely afford to purchase anything, even with my employee discount.
My smile faltered when I saw my least favorite colleague, Alyssa, chatting with Loolie, the receptionist. Alyssa was everything I wasn’t — tall, willowy, confident. Jack liked to point out that there was nothing wrong with my proportions — I (barely) hit an average height of five feet five inches, and I have a good figure. Alyssa, tall and slender, always made me feel like something small and silly, not to be taken seriously. The day Alyssa leaned down to pat me on the head would be the day I shocked everyone by breaking Alyssa’s arm.
Make an effort I demanded of myself, and kept the smile pasted on my face. “Good morning!”
“Drown in a puddle?” Alyssa asked, looking at me.
“Taxi driver. Aiming for me.” I shrugged.
“That’s because you’ve got a come-get-me attitude,” Alyssa retorted. “Bet you fed that disgusting homeless woman on the corner again.”
Nice to see you’re living your chosen path of compassion, I thought, then forced the mindfulness to acknowledge and push the thought away. Sarcasm, I named it. Petty sarcasm. I was trying to cure myself of the petty sarcasm habit.
Because Alyssa is a hypocrite, a little voice in my head whispered. Gamma called the voice “Ida”, as in “Ida know how I know it.” When I first saw the Family Circus comics with the gremlins “Not Me” and “Ida Know” I thought Gamma was the artist. Gamma explained archetypes, universal group mind, and trans-cultural diffusion, not that I understood it when I was eight. Those concepts make more sense now. Sometimes.
Loolie, who usually bubbled over with friendship when I entered, only gave me a weak smile. She wouldn’t look me in the eye, which meant something big was in the works. Before I could ask her what was wrong, Jelena Hahn, the owner of the studio came out of her office and said, “Sophie, do you mind stepping in here for a minute?”
“Sure.” I pretended not to see Alyssa’s triumphant smile. I followed Jelena into the office. Jelena had the same effortless grace in her movements as Alyssa. “What’s up?” I undid the curly topknot of hair and refastened it, using the gesture to cover my nerves.
“Sophie, you’re a lovely girl, and it’s been a pleasure having you work here, but things aren’t working out.” Jelena sat behind her desk, folded her hands together, and looked at me.
“What? Excuse me? Why? What am I doing wrong?” I couldn’t believe my ears.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Sophie. Please don’t ever think that.” Jelena’s voice dropped to the soothing monotone she used when someone had a meltdown during class. I called it her “diffusing the bomb” voice.
“Then why don’t you want me here anymore?” I demanded. “Are my students complaining? Has anyone ever gotten injured in my class? I’m never late, I don’t flake out.”
“You don’t fit our platform.”
“Your what?”
“We’re reshaping our image. We’ve brought in a new marketing firm. Fresh logo. We’re focusing on teachers who have platforms, books and DVDs out, work the conference circuit. We want someone with a show on the new yoga cable channel. Someone who brings in a following.”
“Even they had to start somewhere. They didn’t burst fully formed out of a lotus leaf with 50,000 Facebook friends.” I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. “I could put together a yoga show. Give me a couple of weeks, we can film it, and you’ll see.”
“No, dear, I’m sorry, this just isn’t going to work.” Jelena reached into a folder, pulled out an envelope and offered it to me. “Three weeks’ severance. More than generous.”
“You don’t want me to teach this morning’s class? What about my students?”
“Alyssa will take it.”
I granted myself a moment to imagine choking Alyssa with a resistance strap and let it go. “Can I at least say goodbye?”
“I don’t think that�
�s wise.”
“What if they ask where I am?”
“We’ll tell them it was time you moved on.” Jelena’s voice tinged with impatience. “There are two kinds of teachers. Those who inspire rabid loyalty, whose students follow them wherever they go, and those who are competent fill-ins. You’re the latter. No one comes to your class because it’s you. They come to your class because it’s there.”
That stung. I stood up, trying to gather the remains of my shredded dignity around me like a cloak, and picked up my purse, tote bag, and mat bag. “Thank you for the opportunity to teach here,” I said, and walked out of the room before Jelena could respond.
I walked toward my locker to collect my belongings. My shabby little luggage lock had been replaced by one that was shiny and new. I turned toward the desk. Loolie stood up, two bright red spots on her cheeks, unshed tears in her eyes, offering me a canvas tote bag. “They had me clean it out this morning, first thing,” she said in a voice just above a choked whisper. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” Damn it, I am not going to cry. I accepted the plain canvas bag, not the $40 organic one with the Center’s logo on it. Denied me the pleasure of burning the logo bag in the fireplace when I got home. I sensed Alyssa watching and refused to give her the moment of triumph. “Thank you, Loolie.” I stepped back into my boots, walked across the shiny floor, through the entering students, and back down the stairs. Retaining my dignity was difficult; one boot had a heel, and one was flat, the broken heel in my tote bag.
I was on the third-to-last step when I heard, “What the hell?” from upstairs and a clatter behind me. Close to losing it, I kept going onto the street. I hesitated, not sure which way to turn, then turned towards Union Square.
“Sophie! Wait!”
I turned to see two of my regular students, Rowena and Kath, dash down the block to catch up. Rowena was a tall, athletic woman in her thirties, Kath smaller and slighter. They were two of the students I could push in class.
“What the hell?” Rowena repeated as they caught up, Kath huffing a little bit.
“You move fast for someone with only one working shoe,” Kath puffed out.
I watched them. I had nothing to say. The lump in my throat hurt too much.
