Professor Penrod’s eyes were wide. It looked like he was at a lost for words. It was a lot of information to take in all at once.
“Once we got back, I tried to follow your drawings from your field guide to reassemble the Expand-O-Matic. I thought that I did everything just right, but well … Let’s just say it’s more of a Long-Hair-O-Matic now,” I said as I pushed a chunk of hair away from my face. “It turns on. It warms up. But something is just not quite right. I can’t get it to work,” I said. A dry lump formed in my throat, and I knew that any second now tears would start rolling down my cheeks.
“So, that’s why you can never shrink again. Because if you do, the very best that can happen is that we’ll all end up super tiny humans with superlong hair. And trust me. It’s not as good as it sounds,” I said.
“Honestly, it sounds horrible, Danny,” Lin said.
“It does sound horrible, and it is even worse than that,” I said. “A hundred times worse, at least.” I sniffed back tears and glared down at my hair pooled across the floor, waiting for Penrod to scold us or to tell me that I was stuck like this forever.
“I’ll be honest. You’re correct. This isn’t a good situation, and it would have been much better if you’d told me earlier what was going on. If nothing else, I could have provided you with advice on dealing with the newly hatched tiny-saurus rexes, which might have avoided some of the other disasters,” Professor Penrod said.
I heard Lin sniff next to me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her wipe her nose on the back of her arm. I gulped, then braved a quick look at Professor Penrod, and I was shocked to see that he was actually smiling.
“But worrying about things in the past is better left for paleontologists,” Professor Penrod said with a wink. “I think we should turn our attention to the future. What do you say we work on getting you back to normal, Danny?” the professor asked.
I hurried and wiped a tear from my eye, hoping to catch it before anyone noticed. “I think that’s a good idea. Sure.”
“Well, then. Let’s turn that camera on the Expand-O-Matic, and you can talk me through what you did. I’m sure we’ll discover the issue together, and we’ll have it fixed in a jiffy,” Professor Penrod said.
“And if not, we can at least shrink you a pair of scissors so you can give yourself a haircut,” Lin added.
“Ha-ha. Very funny,” I said.
CHAPTER 12
A PROPER DIAGNOSIS
Picking up the phone and spinning it slowly around, I gave Professor Penrod a quick view of the new lab.
“While we were building the lab—well, while Lin was building the lab, I thought it would be nice if we put the Expand-O-Matic in its own room. It’s just behind this door,” I said as I let myself in. “Welcome to the Expand-O-Room.”
“It’s nice to see it up close and in person,” Professor Penrod said. “My compliments to the architect. Making it out of PIBBs was brilliant. I never would have thought of that. So simple. So easy to add on to in the future. I love it.”
“That’s what we thought. I have plans to add a pool with a real diving board soon,” Lin said.
“That sounds perfectly peachy, Lin,” Professor Penrod said.
I waited while Lin grinned and Professor Penrod messed up her hair, then we continued.
“So, I followed your blueprints as close as I could, but I had to make some adjustments because a few pieces were either lost or destroyed in all the chaos,” I said, aiming the camera at the Expand-O-Matic itself.
“Understandable,” Professor Penrod said. “You’re doing a fabulous job here. Can you take me around and show me the new modifications?”
“I had a little trouble hooking the condenser coil to the CBR percolation redactor,” I said, pulling the leather journal out of my backpack and flipping to the page with Professor Penrod’s blueprint drawing of the Expand-O-Matic. I showed it to the camera. “See. Right here.”
“Oh yes. That part was a little tricky. I had to use a modified spring pin assembly. But that’s not the most difficult part. You see, I had to figure out a way to attach a lint filter to the inlet valve without compromising the CEP flow, while at the same time allowing for the release of oxygen bubbles due to rapid expansion,” Professor Penrod said.
I followed the camera up the Expand-O-Matic’s condenser coil until I found something that looked like a steam whistle. “Is that what you used this tap adaptor for?” I asked.
“Precisely. But can you zoom in a little?” Professor Penrod asked.
I reached up as high as I could to give Professor Penrod a better view of the little steam whistle.
“Yes, that’s one of the issues. Probably not our major problem, but something we should fix nonetheless. Lin, please start a list for us. Item number one, upside-down tap adaptor,” Professor Penrod said.
The professor tilted up his phone, and I saw Lin scratch down notes on a piece of paper. “Upside-down helicopter. Got it,” she said.
“Close enough, Lin,” the professor said with a smile. “What’s next? Let’s carry on.”
“Well, Bruno flattened the bushing bar connector, so I had to improvise.” I ducked beneath the CEP tank, turning on the flashlight on my phone for a bit of extra light, and focused the camera. “Can you see it?”
“Yes. Is that an elastic compensating ring?” Professor Penrod asked.
“It sure is,” I said.
“Brilliant. I used a less flexible method, but this is a nice improvement. It should increase the particle flow by ten, maybe fifteen percent!”
“I was hoping for twenty,” I said, and Professor Penrod laughed so hard he had to sit down. “I learned this method from my dad. He did something like this on his Smell-O-Tronic device he invented for SpyZoom.”
“Impressive. Well done, Danny,” the professor said.
“What are you writing down, Lin?” I asked. It appeared like Lin was still taking notes behind Professor Penrod as she bent over her paper, her pencil moving so fast it was blurry on my video feed. “Did you get the notes on the flexible bushing bar connector?”
“Uh, no. I thought you guys were just making up words. Sorry. I got a little distracted. Don’t mind me,” Lin said, then she went back to her paper and pencil. The professor and I continued our Expand-O-Matic inspection. We searched every inch of the machine before Professor Penrod’s keen eye picked up the problem.
“Wait! Danny, I think I figured it out. Can you zoom back in on the unidirectional inlet valve again for me, please?” he said.
The valve looked kind of like a pair of butterfly wings, and it allowed warm CEPs to flow into the housing unit before they were shot out.
“Yep. That’s our problem. For sure. The valve’s broken.”
I studied the valve in the phone’s light and sure enough, there was a tiny crack.
“Oh, I see … so how do I fix it?”
“You can’t.”
“What do you mean it can’t be fixed? Does that mean Danny’s going to be tiny forever?” Lin asked, looking up from her drawings.
“Certainly not. It just needs to be replaced, and I have the spare part right here in the barn-lab … which, now that I think of it, is a horrible place to keep replacement parts. This is the second time that someone’s been stuck with a broken Expand-O-Matic. I should really shrink all my replacement parts and move them to the new lab where I can actually get to them when I need them,” Professor Penrod said.
“So, we’re shrinking? Great! I’ve got six new haircut designs for Danny to choose from!” Lin said, bounding to her feet.
Lin showed me her drawings. She was very proud of herself, and they did make Professor Penrod laugh.
“I may not understand what parts make the Expand-O-Matic work, but I do understand haircut jokes,” Lin said, which made me laugh as well.
“All right, let’s shrink and rescue that tiny friend of ours, Lin,” Professor Penrod said. “It’s getting late, and it will take a bit to get the part over to the new lab
.”
“No it won’t! We’ve got one more surprise for you, too, Penny. The Slide-A-Riffic. It was a lot more fun this morning, but Danny pooped the party by installing brakes. But don’t worry. I’ll control the brakes so it’s still loads of fun,” Lin said.
“The Slide-A-Riffic. That sounds positively delightful,” Professor Penrod said.
“Oh, you have no idea. You are in for a real treat,” Lin said. “See you in a jiff, Danny.”
Lin clicked their side of the camera off, and I was left alone in the Microterium once again with Bruno and the Microsaurs. Only this time, it wasn’t so bad. I knew that soon I’d be rescued. I was about to sit down and relax until they arrived, and then I remembered something terrifying. I hadn’t shown Lin how to use the new, untested, and probably unreliable brakes.
CHAPTER 13
BIG AGAIN
“Come in, Lin! Can you hear me?” I said into my Invisible Communicator, but it was no use. Lin wasn’t listening. I tried to call Professor Penrod, but he didn’t answer, either.
“Come on, Bruno. Let’s go see if we can get their attention,” I said. Bruno jumped up, wagged his tail, and ran to me, excited by the sound of my voice.
As he ran by, I grabbed on to his wide crest, swung on his back, gave him a nudge with my heels, and we were off! Bruno was heading in the wrong direction, so I pulled hard to the left, and he responded so fast it was as if we were sharing one mind. I had to admit, I was pretty proud of how much better I’d gotten at riding Bruno. The first time I’d tried it I felt like I was going to get bounced off with every step, but now it was as natural as running on my own, only SO much better.
A shadow in the grass, cast from the guitar-string rails of the Slide-A-Riffic, acted as our guide, and Bruno ran with all his might toward a small grove of trees between us and the landing zone. I could hear Lin and Professor Penrod before I could see them, but between Bruno’s clumping feet and the whiz of the Slide-A-Riffic’s pulley system, it was hard to tell if they were happy shouting or worried shouting.
I looked up and saw the bottom of the Slide-A-Riffic, with Lin leaning out over the front with a large grin on her face. I got a glimpse of Professor Penrod; he was wearing Lin’s skateboard helmet, but nobody was holding on to the brakes.
Bruno didn’t bother dodging around the trees, which is exactly what I was hoping for. He smashed into the trees, toppling them over with ease, just as Lin and Professor Penrod were soaring above us. The trees smashed to the ground, branches and leaves falling in a tangled mess right on the landing zone.
The Slide-A-Riffic zoomed so close over my head that I had to duck as Lin and Professor Penrod swooshed into the fallen tree branches. I had done everything I could think to do to try to slow down the Slide-A-Riffic, but in the last second, Lin jumped from the front of the basket to the back, grabbed on to the brake, and hung off the back of the Slide-A-Riffic until it came to a screeching halt.
Professor Penrod was launched from the basket, and he let out a big OOOF! as he landed in the pile of leaves. Lin jumped from the back of the Slide-A-Riffic and ran with Bruno and me to find the professor. I slipped from Bruno’s back and joined Lin as we dug in the leaves for Professor Penrod. When we found him, the helmet was a little dinged up and his eyes were closed.
“Are you all right?” I asked, and a little smile spread across the professor’s face.
“That was simply stunning. I’ve never had such a magnificent view of the Microterium.”
He sat up, rubbing his chin and adjusting his jaw. Bruno was so excited to see the professor that he nudged his way into the group and started licking the top of Lin’s helmet.
The professor looked at Lin. “When can we do it again?”
“Soon, but next time we’ll go even faster!” Lin said.
“Oh, I believe that was fast enough,” the professor said. “In fact, next time I’d like to volunteer for brake duty.”
“You’re just lucky Lin remembered there WAS a brake. I was worried there for a minute,” I said.
“I knew all along. I just wasn’t in a hurry to try it out,” Lin said.
I pushed the hair out of my face and held out my hand to help Professor Penrod up. He took it, then as he stood he gave me a great big hug. I totally wasn’t expecting it, and it was really nice after such a long and crazy couple of weeks. All the worried feelings, all the thoughts of messing things up, and even the feeling that I’d failed the professor, were squeezed right out of me.
“I’ve missed this place more than I can express. And it looks like even more visitors are coming to greet us. Prodigious!” he said as a large HOOOOONK-HOOOOOONK! sounded in the forest behind us.
“Now, let’s go get a firsthand look at that new lab of ours,” Professor Penrod said.
“And a look at the playpen as well. That’s where Pizza and Cornelia are,” Lin said.
“Most excellent. I can hardly contain my happiness. In fact—” the professor said before being interrupted by my buzzing phone.
A text message from my dad appeared on the screen.
“Um, the tour might have to wait. It’s getting late, and my dad wants to know where I am,” I said.
“I need to get going, too,” Lin said. “It’s bingo night at the Song household, and I’m first caller tonight.”
“All right, then. Let’s get this part in place and zip back to normal size. A tour can always wait, but nobody keeps bingo waiting,” Professor Penrod said.
The professor and I worked on the machine while Lin wandered around the new lab. It didn’t take long at all to replace the little valve, and in no time the Expand-O-Matic was ready to do its thing.
“I think we’re ready to get you home,” Professor Penrod said. “Only one problem. Where is Lin?”
“I don’t know. But I can find her,” I said as I tapped the Invisible Communicator in my ear. “Hey, Lin. Where are you?” I asked.
“I’m in the playpen with Pizza and Cornelia. Come say hello!” Lin said in my ear.
“Follow me,” I said to Professor Penrod. “We need to introduce you to the twins.”
I led the professor to the overlook window in the back of the Fruity Stars Lab 3.0. He leaned out first, and I heard him gasp as he saw Pizza and Cornelia for the first time in real life.
“They are magnificent! I’ve never seen their equal. Look at the strength in their tails, their back legs, their JAWS! They are simply stunning,” he said.
“I couldn’t agree more!” Lin shouted up, and the Invisible Communicator shook in my ear. I pressed it to turn it off before she shouted again. “I’m going to teach them to do tricks. I think it will give them something to do instead of chasing the other Microsaurs.”
“That’s an excellent idea, Lin,” Professor Penrod said. “But what is that large ball they are snacking on?”
“Oh, that?” Lin said, proud as can be. “That’s just my own special invention. It’s a healthy and nutritious snack I made. I call them Microbites, but when we’re shrunk down they don’t seem that micro anymore, do they?”
I leaned out the window with Professor Penrod to get a look at how large the Microbite was compared to Lin and the twins. My hair rolled out of the window and reached all the way to the ground below.
“That is huge,” I said. “But we really should get back. The Expand-O-Matic is ready.”
“Aww. I wanted to stay for just a few more minutes, but if you let me do one last thing I’ll be happy to leave,” Lin said.
“What’s that?” Professor Penrod asked.
“Can I climb up your hair and come in through the window, Danny?” Lin asked with a huge grin on her face.
“If you call me Rapunzel, I’ll invite Vicky Van-Varbles to sing at your next birthday party,” I said, then I started rolling up my hair before Lin could start climbing it.
“Aww, man, you’re no fun,” Lin said. “I’ll meet you at the penny. Guess I’ll have to walk like a boring person.”
I lumbered to the penny, p
acking my hair, which was heavier than I ever imagined hair could be, while Professor Penrod warmed up the Expand-O-Matic. But that wasn’t the only thing warming up. Lin and Professor Penrod were warming up their jokes and trying them out at my expense. The hair jokes continued for a solid five minutes as the Expand-O-Matic came up to temperature, and the three of us took turns expanding back to our normal size. But let me tell you, it all stopped being funny to me after I expanded back to normal size and my long hair came with me.
“It’s NOT FUNNY!” I said to Lin and the professor, who were laughing so hard they could barely stand up as we made our way to the barn-lab.
“Oh, it is funny, Danny. Just not to you,” Lin said.
“Why did this happen?” I asked Professor Penrod. “I thought things only grew back to their original size. This is NOT original size.”
“I don’t know, Danny. It’s opened up new theories in my mind, but sometimes the mysteries of science are inexplicable. Even the most well-crafted hypothesis can end up producing a false positive. The most simple and understood theorem can be debunked by anomalies. And even experiments that have been repeated thousands, even millions, of times can return negative, causing you to toss the blame onto complex chaos theories,” the professor explained.
I nodded, my long hair rippling behind me. Lin looked at me with a confused look on her face.
“You understood all that?” she said.
“Yeah. He said science is messy. Isn’t that right, Professor?” I said.
He passed a large pair of gardening shears to Lin and kept a large wire brush for himself. “I couldn’t have said it better myself. Now, which of Lin’s haircuts do you prefer?”
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