Healing Our Hearts

by Grace Roberts

  “Well, I’d have to check my diary first,” I teased, and she chuckled. I’d really missed the sound of her laughter. “Hmm… let me see… I think I can squeeze you in this Saturday between Sandra and Patricia, but you’ll have to be here on time or it’ll mess up my schedule.”

  “Haha, very funny,” she said. “I’ll ask David if he’s free, but I think it’ll be fine.”

  “Will you stay the night? We’ve been apart for two months, so we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” My tone was a bit too hopeful maybe, but I didn’t care. She had to know how much I’d missed her.

  She agreed almost immediately, and I felt as if I was floating three feet off the ground. I’d be seeing her in two days. Only forty-eight hours and I’d be able to wrap her in my arms, stroke her silky hair and kiss those wonderfully soft lips again.

  Chapter 31

  Kathleen

  June 23

  Mum had been terribly worried about me staying away all weekend on my own. I’d told her I’d be sleeping at my old house with Annie, but this hadn’t reassured her in the least, and she’d suggested David stay with me. He’d started to say it would be a good idea but I’d glowered at him, and he’d stopped mid-sentence. Why was everybody treating me as if I were sixteen again?

  After David helped me convince Mum I was old enough to look after myself, and that Annie would take good care of me—punctuated with a wink in my direction—we finally got into David’s car and set out, leaving my mother on the doorstep looking as if we were off to war. I sighed and shook my head, leaning against the headrest and closing my eyes.

  “Are you nervous?” David asked, after a while. I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at him.

  “A little,” I admitted, as a weird sense of anticipation mixed with fear swirled in the pit of my stomach. “What if he’s not the guy I fell in love with anymore?”

  David took my hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

  I loved how he referred to me with such affection now. Even if things with Colin shouldn’t work out, I knew I wouldn’t be alone. I knew David would be there for me from now on.

  We reached the outskirts of Dublin around half past ten. We’d agreed I’d send Colin a text as soon as we exited the M50 highway so he could meet us in the parking lot of Beaumont Hospital, since it was close to Colin’s apartment and far away from Dublin’s downtown traffic. David had suggested taking me to Colin’s apartment, but I’d thought it best for him to meet Colin on neutral ground, where it would be less awkward for everyone.

  It was a beautiful summer’s day, the sun was shining bright and warm, but I was sure my good spirits weren’t due to the weather. I had confirmation when we approached the parking lot and Colin was standing there, leaning against the trunk of his silver-gray Chevrolet SUV, his legs crossed at the ankles and his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed, as he enjoyed the warm rays on his face. He looked even more beautiful than I remembered. His hair was longer and even more tousled than it had been in New York, the curls tucked behind his ears and curling on the back of his neck. He was so tall, and with that dark blue T-shirt he looked strong and sturdy. I just couldn’t wait to let those arms encircle me and hold me close to him. The familiar swarm of butterflies took flight in my stomach, and I started fidgeting in my seat.

  “No need for a heart attack, sis,” David teased, staring at me with a naughty grin.

  Colin opened his eyes when our car approached, and when he saw me waving at him his face broke into a grin—that adorable grin I’d come to love and miss so much, his cute dimples just as lovely as I remembered. I wished I could jump out of the car, run to him and kiss those dimples over and over.

  He walked around to the passenger side and yanked the door open, sticking his head inside and stopping only inches from my face. His eyes boring into mine were the deepest shade of blue I’d ever seen.

  “I was afraid you’d stand me up.” He stared at my lips with a look that told me he wanted to kiss them so bad, but knew better than to do so in front of my brother.

  “But here I am.”

  “Shall I help you out, Kathy?” David asked in an annoyed tone, once he’d taken the wheelchair out of the trunk and rounded the car. Before I could say anything, Colin scooped me up in his arms, kissed the tip of my nose, and put me down in my wheelchair.

  “Sorry, professional habit,” Colin said to David, shrugging, as if to apologize for his gesture. My brother sized him up, and my blood went cold. I didn’t like the look on his face; it was a mixture of annoyance and… mistrust. He wasn’t going to make a scene now, was he?

  “Are we going for a coffee or something?” Colin interrupted the embarrassing silence and looked at David.

  “I’m meeting some friends downtown, before driving back,” David said, a little too roughly. I gave him a “What’s wrong with you?” look, so he quickly added, “But thanks anyway.”

  Colin nodded. If he’d noticed my brother’s cold behavior, he didn’t let it show, and I was glad. The last thing I wanted was for my brother to start a fight with my boyfriend.

  David crouched down and looked me straight in the eye. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right?” he asked, as worried as if he were leaving me in the hands of a serial killer. I nodded and stroked his cheek, to reassure him. “If anything turns out wrong, you just call me and I’ll be here in a flash. And beat the living daylights out of him, if necessary.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. I loved the way he’d turned into my hero during the past couple of months, being super attentive and loving like I’d always wanted him to be, but he was going a little overboard now. He needed to understand I was old enough to make my own decisions even if I was stuck in a wheelchair.

  “David, I really appreciate you being so protective, but this Schwarzenegger macho act really doesn’t become you,” I said with a smile, hoping it’d be enough to make him feel better about leaving. “I’ll be all right, don’t worry.”

  He nodded. “But promise you’ll be careful. Don’t let him do things you’re not ready to…” he trailed off and my cheeks heated. Was he forgetting something? Maybe the fact I was in a wheelchair and I couldn’t let Colin do the things I wanted him to do anyway? There was really no point in David worrying about that and, as much as I loved my brother, I wasn’t going to have this conversation with him.

  “David, you have to go now.” My tone was firm, and he looked at me for a moment, as if deciding what to do. “You’re making me nervous and you’re making Colin nervous. I really need you to be gone now.”

  He nodded, scrutinized my face one last time, then gave me a big hug. “I love ya, sis,” he whispered in my ear, and my heart warmed. He was only trying to be protective, he’d meant no harm.

  “I love you, too David. And thanks for covering for me.”

  He pulled back and grinned before standing up and turning toward the car.

  “Careful what you do,” he told Colin, and I wished a hole in the cement would open right there and swallow me. “You break her heart, I’ll break your legs.”

  “David!” I shouted, wanting to punch him. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening. Colin chuckled, not at all intimidated by David’s threat.

  “Don’t worry, David; I’ve got no intention of breaking your sister’s heart,” he said, patting David’s shoulder amicably. “She, on the contrary, will end up breaking mine, if she doesn’t stop pushing me away.”

  I blushed and stared at my hands. David walked to the driver’s side and gave me one last concerned look before driving away. I watched the car disappear around the corner and my wheelchair was spun around to face Colin. He looked beyond my shoulder one last time before taking my face in his hands and giving me the most breathtaking kiss I’d ever received in my whole life. I had a feeling this was going to be the most amazing weekend ever.

  Chapter 32

  Colin


  June 23

  For a moment there, I’d feared for my life. I’d thought her brother was going to smash my head and leave me to bleed to death. The look he’d given me had been very clear and, after his not so subtle threat to break my legs, I understood he probably hadn’t been too pleased to find out about us. I was feeling much better now he was gone and I hoped this little incident wouldn’t spoil our weekend.

  Good thing I hadn’t kissed her when she was still in the car, like I’d wanted. I had waited until his car was out of sight before I even dared crouch down and take her face in my hands. I stared into her beautiful blue eyes that watched me with such intensity it gave me chills, then I moved down to her lips, so full and soft and… inviting. I took a deep breath, and pressed my lips to hers, losing control as I tasted her again after two endless months of thinking about it. When she eventually pulled back, I was almost disappointed.

  “Sorry, I need to breathe,” she said, smiling apologetically at me, and I chuckled. Yeah, I was kinda breathless, too.

  We went back to my car and I sat in the driver’s seat after putting her wheelchair into the trunk.

  “Nice car.” The way she said it, coupled with her grin, told me she was about to come up with a witty remark. “Very Yankee.”

  I laughed, totally unfazed by her provocation. “Yeah, women love it.”

  She glowered and I held out my hand for her to take. She pressed her lips in a thin line and narrowed her eyes in what was meant to be a threatening look, but when I smiled at her she gave in and took my hand, lacing her fingers through mine. I brought it to my mouth and kissed her knuckles, then started the car.

  “So, what are your plans for the weekend, New Yorker?” she asked after a few minutes of silence. “I hope you’re not planning to spend it making out on your couch in your bachelor pad, because it’d be a pity to waste such a beautiful day.”

  Her tone was serious but the corners of her lips twitched, trying to hold a smile. I grinned.

  “Well, I hadn’t actually planned on doing that, but it definitely sounds like an interesting plan B, in case you don’t like plan A.”

  She blushed, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I still had to come to terms with the fact she was actually there, inches away from me, holding my hand. It felt like a beautiful dream, and I wished the weekend would never end.

  I left my car in the parking lot in Dublin city center and pushed her down the street to St. Stephen’s Green. She seemed happy and comfortable enough to be wheeled down streets now, as if she’d accepted that people would somehow always give her compassionate looks. I was glad about that, because I really wanted her to realize she wasn’t that different to the girl she’d always been. Okay, she couldn’t walk, but inside she was the same, and she had to keep believing she could achieve all of her dreams, no matter what.

  “Are you taking me on a carriage ride?” she asked when we reached the side of the park where all the touristic carriages were waiting to be hired. I grinned and shook my head.

  “That would’ve been a bit lame, since we already did that in New York,” I said, pushing her further down the side of the road. When I stopped by the Viking Splash Tour bus stop she looked up with raised eyebrows and her mouth agape.

  “You’re kidding me.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. “The Ice Queen is gonna turn into a Viking Queen today,” I said, handing the reservation to the driver who was standing by the amphibious boat-shaped truck. “An ice crown would melt in this weather, so you’ll have to make do with a horned helmet.”

  She shook her head, but it was too late: I scooped her up in my arms, and took the six steps that led up to the bus while the driver carried the wheelchair, putting it at the rear of the vehicle behind the back seats.

  “Since you always say I’m a Yankee, I thought I’d act like one and do things Yankee tourists do,” I said as I put the helmet on my head, grinning at her. Her lips twitched and I knew I’d won the argument. “Here, put your helmet on.”

  I adjusted the helmet on her head and took a picture of her with my phone. She laughed, saying she felt stupid, but it was obvious she was happy. She was having fun; that was all that mattered. For the whole duration of her stay in Dublin I wanted to see that smile constantly plastered on her face, and I would do anything to make sure it did.

  We blended in quite well with the rest of the tourists thanks to my accent, and the fact I was acting like someone who’d never been to Ireland before. Because of this game I played just to make Kathleen laugh, the American tourists sitting behind us insisted on providing information about where to eat, what attractions to visit, and what pubs served the best Guinness with the best traditional music. I didn’t tell them I already knew it all very well since I’d lived there for almost twelve years; I simply thanked them profusely while Kathleen kept giggling and made it hard for me to keep a straight face.

  When we got off the bus and I put Kathleen back in her wheelchair, she tugged at my jeans and I crouched down.

  “That was fun,” she whispered, timidly. “Thank you for forcing me to go. I never thought I’d actually like tourist attractions.”

  I smiled. “You needed a Yankee to start enjoying life, Icy.”

  She stuck out her tongue at me and I grinned mischievously. Then I pushed her toward Grafton Street, where we would stop for a quick lunch, before heading on to the next attraction.

  When we left Bewley’s Café with our bellies full, I went back up Grafton Street toward St. Stephen’s Green. I turned right at the shopping center; only then did Kathleen finally speak again.

  “Where are we going?” she asked, in a curious tone.

  I smirked. “To do something very touristy again.”

  She rolled her eyes, although she was smiling. When I stopped by the Gaiety Theatre and pushed her through the doors, she stared at me with a quizzical look.

  “Riverdance?”

  I nodded. “I heard there are quite a few good-looking girls with short skirts and great legs.” She swatted my thigh and laughed. “Besides, American tourists really love traditional Irish dancing.”

  “I hope there are good-looking guys, too,” she said, looking at me with a smug grin. “At least it’ll be worth the cost of the ticket.”

  I was able to get very good seats and she was quite happy about it, saying she’d be able to check out the dancers much better because we were so close to the stage. I hugged her and planted a loud kiss on her brow while she pushed me away telling me to go kiss the dancers with the short skirts and great legs instead.

  She enjoyed the show, and so did I. Ever since I’d moved to Dublin I’d never really done any of the tourist attractions, thinking it would be stupid because I actually lived there and my friends from college were all Irish. But I was enjoying today—although, maybe it was because Kathleen was with me, so whatever we did together was great.

  I’d left the most romantic attraction for last. When we reached Bachelor’s Walk and I pushed her toward the Liffey River Cruise sign, she looked up at me and smiled.

  “A cruise?” This time the disbelief was genuine; there was no mocking in her tone. “Why, I’m really impressed, New Yorker.”

  I shrugged, waving her away as if it was nothing special, but I was glad she liked the idea. I’d thought it would be really romantic.

  The staff helped us get onto the ship and we sat outside, as Kathleen wanted. She took my hand soon after the ship left the dock and rested her head on my shoulder, letting out a long sigh of contentment.

  “Thank you for this wonderful day, Colin. I loved every minute of it.”

  I squeezed her hand and kissed the top of her head, resting my chin on it.

  “There’s still one last thing on our schedule but we can skip it and go home if you’re too tired,” I said, and she looked up at me narrowing her eyes.

  “We’re not going on the Ghost Tour, are we?”

  I chuckled and shook my head. That would be a little too touristy, even for me.


  “I thought we could have dinner somewhere in Temple Bar, in one of the pubs where they play live music.”

  “And will you start singing Whiskey in the Jar while draining pint after pint of Guinness? Because if that’s the case, I think I’ll pass.”

  “Low blow, Icy. I’m a great singer, especially after a couple of pints,” I said, bringing a hand to my chest, feigning offense. She gave me a worried look and I grinned, reassuringly. “I won’t be drinking, babe, don’t worry. First of all, I’m too old to get wasted like a teenager and, secondly, I’ll be driving, and your brother would rip my head off if you so much as scratched your finger.”

  She laughed at my comment and relaxed against me, letting the soft rocking of the boat lull us. It had been a long day and I’d been up since six, because I couldn’t sleep thinking I’d be seeing her—but I wasn’t tired at all. It was as if she’d brought a boost of energy with her, as if she was the vitamin I needed after two interminable months feeling a real wretch. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. My heart filled with emotions I’d always thought I’d never be able to feel, and I knew right then and there she was the love of my life.

  * * *

  “Can we go for a quick stroll in St. Stephen’s Green?” Kathleen asked after we disembarked the boat. “It’s been ages since I’ve been there.”

  I nodded and stopped a taxi to take us back to the town park. There were lots of people lying on the meadows, enjoying the lovely summer weather and making the most of it while it lasted. Kids were running around, chasing each other; lovers were holding hands and kissing; teenagers were laughing loudly, drinking coffee and teasing one another.