by Amy Andrews
‘My turn,’ Gabe said, pulling away reluctantly.
Beth grinned and held her arms above her head. Gabe whisked her T-shirt off in one deft movement. ‘My, oh, my,’ Gabe sighed, staring at her lush breasts encased in delicate red satin and lace. The front clasp taunted him. ‘Sister Rogers…is this what you were wearing beneath your scrubs all weekend?’
He traced the edge of the lace over the ripe bulge of her breast and Beth bit her lip as her nipples scrunched tight. ‘No.’ She gave a husky laugh. ‘I was wearing a pale lemon one actually. I showered before I left work and changed into clean underwear.’
Gabe hadn’t looked away from her breasts. He cupped the lacy mounds. They looked bigger, fuller than he remembered, The baby, he supposed. He ran his thumbs in lazy circles over the satin. He heard her breathing go ragged and felt his groin tighten as he looked at her to discover her eyes shut and her teeth biting into her bottom lip.
He traced his finger down into the dip of her cleavage and quickly unclipped her bra. Her breasts swung free and she gasped as the air hit her heated flesh. She moaned out loud when he dipped his head and took a rosy tip deep into his hot mouth.
‘Gabe,’ she panted.
‘You are so beautiful,’ he groaned as he lifted his head to claim the other nipple.
‘Oh, Gabe,’ she whispered, the words no more than a strangled sigh.
He raised his head to claim her mouth and she was more than a match for his ardour and passion. He sank slowly down on the bed behind him, pulling her with him until they were joined from head to hip. Her weight on him felt good as she ground her pelvis against his.
But it wasn’t enough for Beth. She wanted more. She wanted to see all of him, feel all of him against her. She wriggled off him, standing a little unsteadily on her feet. He looked sexy as hell, lying on the bed before her, and she smiled at him.
‘What?’ He grinned.
‘Just looking,’ she teased.
‘Come back here.’ He held his arms out for her. She was naked from the waist up and her hair was tousled and her mouth looked thoroughly kissed. And he wanted her.
Beth shook her head. ‘No. These off,’ she said, and pointed to his jeans. She ran two fingers down his open fly.
Gabe could feel his erection strain against the fabric. ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.’
Beth grinned. ‘Deal.’ Her hands flew to the buttons of her cargo pants as she watched Gabe intently. She made short work of her pants as Gabe lifted his hips and slid his jeans down.
His black cotton boxers barely contained him. ‘Those too,’ she ordered.
Beth felt her eyes widen as he slid his boxers off. She devoured his magnificent proportions. Her hand reached out to touch it.
‘Uh-uh.’ Gabe grinned, covering himself. ‘You next.’ He pointed to her matching red satin and lace knickers.
Beth rolled her eyes. ‘Spoilsport.’ But she gave a few deliberately exaggerated wiggles of her hips and slid her last article of clothing off.
‘Now can I touch?’ she asked, hand on hip.
Gabe chuckled and removed his hand. ‘Now you can do whatever you like.’
And he gave her hand a yank, toppling her onto him. His chuckle was cut off by her mouth. She kissed him long and hard. She kissed him until they were gasping for air and their bodies demanded more.
His length pressed into hers felt divine but it wasn’t enough. Beth wanted to feel more. Feel surrounded by him. Dominated by him. She rolled off and pulled him over with her. That was better. His weight squashed her against the bed and she revelled in her femininity as his pelvis rocked against hers.
Gabe wanted more too. He wanted to touch her. Taste her. It had been months since he’d sampled the delights of her body and he was starving for her. He trailed kisses down her neck and heard her whimper of loss.
‘It’s OK,’ he said, kissing her mouth. Her eyes were glazed and he felt his erection surge. ‘I need to kiss all of you.’
Beth needed his mouth on hers more than her next breath but she also knew what magic he could weave on the rest of her body. Her mouth could get in line.
She shut her eyes as he trailed kisses everywhere. Her back arched as he laved her breasts with sweet attention. Her belly clenched and she shivered as he stroked his tongue across her stomach. And when he parted her legs and put his tongue inside her she cried out his name.
‘Gabe, please…’ She pulled at his shoulders. ‘I want you inside me.’
Gabe grinned. ‘I thought I was.’ He smiled as he kissed his way back up her body.
Their mouths fused as Gabe entered her. Beth groaned and wrapped her legs around his waist as he went deeper.
Gabe, sheathed to the hilt, rose up on his elbows. He didn’t move, watching the ecstasy on Beth’s face, her eyes closed in pleasure. He didn’t want to stop doing this.
Beth felt filled and luxuriated in Gabe’s possession. She moved slightly and her eyes fluttered open. Gabe was staring at her intently.
‘Tell me you’ve wanted this since the last time.’
Heat lanced her groin. ‘Gabe,’ she pleaded.
Gabe withdrew the barest amount and then pulsed into her again. ‘Tell me,’ he demanded, his voice husky with desire.
Beth felt the craving to have him pull out and plunge in again nearly overwhelm her. She saw the desperation in his eyes. Saw the shadow of the last two days still there. She moved beneath him but he held her firm.
‘Gabe, please,’ she gasped. ‘I need you to…’
Gabe repeated the slight movement again, knowing it was driving him as crazy as her. Fighting the urge to drive in and out of her in wild abandon. ‘I’ve dreamt of this moment every night since that first time. Tell me you want me as much as I want you.’
‘Gabe,’ she panted, the sensation unbearably erotic.
He pushed into her harder. ‘Tell me.’
Beth couldn’t bear it any longer. She knew this was about more than their one-night stand. It was about months of denial and hungry looks, about the baby and about breaking his promise to the Fishers and failing probably for the first time in his life.
‘Yes,’ she gasped. ‘Yes. I’ve thought of us a lot.’
Gabe lowered his mouth and sucked roughly on her nipple. ‘Not good enough, Beth.’ His voice was ragged. ‘I need to hear you say you want me.’ He claimed her other breast.
Beth nearly fainted from the eroticism of his teeth grating against her nipple. ‘I want you, Gabe,’ she whimpered. ‘Damn it, I want you.’
Gabe locked gazes with Beth, the desire in her eyes ratcheting his lust up another notch. He pulled out abruptly and plunged back in again. He heard her gasp and watched as her pupils dilated with need. He repeated the movement again and again, their gazes holding steady.
‘Gabe.’
He could hear the loss of control in her voice, feel her body trembling against his. Feel his own loss of control roll through him.
‘Beth,’ he groaned, burying his face in her neck.
‘Oh, Gabe,’ Beth cried, clinging to his trembling shoulders, her orgasm breaking as quickly as it had built.
‘Beth, Beth, Beth,’ he whispered as she broke around him and he followed seconds later.
CHAPTER EIGHT
A FEW minutes later Gabe rolled off her and stared at the ceiling.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said after a while as his heart rate returned to normal.
‘It’s OK,’ she said, turning to look into his troubled eyes. ‘It’s been an intense couple of days.’
She held out her arms to him and Gabe went to her gratefully. He laid his head against her chest, her heartbeat bounding beneath his ear. She had every right to hate him for the stunt he’d just pulled. But after the surgery, after losing Bridie, he’d needed to feel a connection with her away from their jobs.
Their relationship had been strictly business since that first night. They’d both agreed it was the only appropriate thing to do. But they’d just been th
rough a momentous experience together and she was having his baby, for crying out loud. Tonight of all nights as they faced their uncertain future, he’d needed to know they were more than just colleagues.
Beth cradled his head against her breast and absently ran her fingers through his hair. She tuned into his deep even breathing as the silence stretched between them. ‘It wasn’t your fault, Gabe. You did everything you could. We all did.’
Gabe heard her voice reverberate through her chest wall. She could read his thoughts now? He rolled on his stomach, his chin against her sternum, looking up into her face. ‘I know that. I do. Really. I was just thinking, if only we’d had more time to prepare. If only Bridie had been stronger.’
Beth nodded. ‘You played the cards you were dealt, Gabe.’
‘Yes, but could I have played them better? Could I have done more?’
‘Gabe,’ Beth reasoned, ‘do you always beat yourself up like this after something goes wrong in surgery?’
Gabe dropped his head, pressing a kiss to her chest. He lifted it again. ‘I’ve never lost anyone during surgery. In fact nothing’s ever really gone wrong for me intra-operatively. A few hairy moments but nothing I couldn’t handle.’ He grimaced. ‘That’s part of the whole Fallons-never-fail thing.’
‘Oh.’ Her fingers stilled in his hand. Poor Gabe had a whole legacy to uphold. ‘You’re human, Gabe. And human beings fail. Even your father, I bet.’
Gabe shook his head. ‘Oh, no, the great Harlon Fallon never failed.’
Beth stroked a finger down his cheek and cupped his jaw. Gabe’s stubble grazed erotically against her palm. ‘Yes, he did. He neglected you. His own child. He failed in the worst way.’
Beth knew better than anyone how neglect bruised. How damaging it was.
Gabe gazed into her earnest blue eyes and gave her a gentle smile as he covered her hand with his. He eased it off his jaw and dropped a kiss into her palm and another on her sternum. He turned his head and laid it against her breast again, shutting his eyes as she caressed his scalp and he succumbed to the eroticism.
He opened his eyes a few moments later. The view was pretty damn good. Her pale skin sloped away down the valley between her ribs, smoothing out over her stomach and rising into crescents on either side to cover the jut of her hips.
He trailed a finger down her middle, circling her belly button, his hand coming to rest in the cradle between her hips where his baby was safely nestled. He could feel the slight bulge growing up from behind Beth’s pubic bone.
He kept his hand there. His child. He had made her pregnant. Even now, a month down the track, he found it hard to wrap his head around.
‘Have you felt it move yet?’
Beth’s hand stilled in his hair. She wasn’t used to him talking about the baby. She could feel her heartbeat become more forceful in her chest. Surely he could too? ‘Some flutterings.’
Gabe waited, hoping to feel something. He barely breathed, reluctant to move a muscle in case he missed the tiniest quiver. The baby didn’t oblige but just knowing that they’d created life was particularly poignant given the loss they’d both just experienced. His baby grew safe and snug beneath his hands and yet he knew too well the frailty of life.
He shifted so he was on his elbows again and turned to look at her. ‘I’m sorry about how I reacted when you told me about the baby. You kind of…threw me that day.’
Beth shrugged, dropping her hand from his hair. ‘I know. For what it’s worth, when I found out it kind of threw me for a while too.’
‘So there was a time when you weren’t so…together about it?’ Gabe grinned. ‘That’s a relief.’
Beth smiled. ‘There was some initial hyperventilating but I always, always wanted it. I’ve loved this baby from the start.’ Beth placed her hand where Gabe’s had so recently been. ‘I’ve wanted a baby for a very long time.’
‘Since you were fifteen?’ Gabe asked, and wasn’t surprised to see her nod. ‘I guess that’s understandable. I wish I could say I’ve had the same burning desire. But I’ve never felt like that. Never.’
Beth had got used to Gabe’s assertion that he wanted to be around, had started mentally adjusting her plans, so his admission surprised her. Was he trying to back out? ‘I’ve already told you I don’t expect anything from you.’
Gabe saw her tense. Heard the strain in her voice. He traced a finger down the side of her face. ‘I’m not trying to back out. I’m just trying to explain how…unprepared I was for this. I mean, whenever I think about being a father now and particularly after today, I think how hellish a surgeon’s life can be on a child. We don’t keep normal business hours.’
Beth nodded slowly, thinking about the marathon thirty hours he’d just been through. But she also remembered his whispered words to Brooke and his fight at the end to give Bridie every chance, and knew that he’d fight just as hard—harder—for their child.
His green eyes were solemn. She could see he was torn. ‘We all have choices, Gabe. You can choose to break the mould.’
Gabe sighed. He pushed himself away, rolling onto his back. He remembered that night having dinner at the Winterses’ house. Witnessing the balance that John had managed to strike with career and family. But was he capable of that?
‘It’s not going to be easy to throw everything in I’ve ever worked for, ditch everything that’s important to me and come to Australia to play daddy.’
Beth twisted her neck to look up at him. ‘I’m not asking you to.’ Though, heaven help her, as the baby fluttered beneath her fingertips, she wanted it more and more.
Gabe rolled on his side and looked at her. ‘Come to England with me.’
Beth shut her eyes. If her life was simple, she would. ‘I can’t, Gabe. You know why.’
Gabe nodded slowly. ‘Tell me about him. Your son. About that time.’
Beth stared into his eyes. Maybe if he knew, he’d understand why this was so important to her. She grabbed the sheet.
‘Cold?’ he asked as he helped her.
She shook her head. She couldn’t lie here naked and tell him about her past. Her memories would lay her bare enough. She covered herself and rolled on her side, raising herself up on an elbow to face him.
Beth was silent for a few moments, struggling with the memories. ‘It was an awful time. I mean, things had been bad for so long at home but that made it so much worse. My father was furious. He pressured me to give the baby up for adoption. I didn’t want to but…I was scared and powerless.’
Her tortured gaze pleaded with him to understand. ‘Of course you were,’ he said quietly, stroking a finger up and down her arm.
‘I was also underage. He kept telling me it was best for the baby. That I was too young to look after him. That I couldn’t do it by myself. That they wouldn’t support me. That the baby deserved the best start in life. Two parents who loved him. Not a teenage troublemaker. Didn’t I want the best for my baby? he kept asking. He accused me of being selfish and self-absorbed. He just kept at me and at me.’
Beth remembered the arguments and the horrible tension during that time. How she’d been a virtual prisoner in her own home. How she’d cried herself to sleep every night, begging the universe for intervention that never came. How appeals to her stepmother had fallen on deaf ears and she’d felt the loss of her own mother so very acutely.
‘Until I caved in.’ Beth felt tears build in her eyes and blinked them away. ‘Of course I wanted the best for him. He was my baby. I loved him.’
‘Oh, Beth…’ Gabe murmured, hearing the twenty-odd years of misery in the huskiness of her voice.
‘It broke my heart when they took him away.’
Beth recalled the precious minutes she’d had to hold her baby as if they were yesterday. His smell, his newborn curiosity, looking around at the bright new world he’d emerged into. The devastation as he was taken away.
‘There hasn’t been a day go by when I haven’t wondered about him.’
He lifte
d a hand and stroked a finger down her cheek. ‘I’m sorry.’
Beth felt a lump lodge in her throat at his sincerity. ‘I’ve wanted a baby ever since, Gabe. Desperately. I’m sorry it scares the hell out of you but I’ve been waiting for this for twenty-three years.’
Gabe nodded. They were silent for a while and Beth had never felt so exposed in her life. ‘I suppose you must think my adolescent behaviour pretty shocking.’
Gabe stroked her cheek. ‘Not at all. I think you were young and sad and desperate for someone to understand you. To love you.’ God knew, his own adolescence had been pretty fraught.
Beth nodded. He was right. That was exactly how it had happened. She’d never thought for a minute there’d be such lifelong consequences.
‘So he hasn’t come forward yet…your son?’
Beth rolled onto her back, the pain in her heart rendering her incapable of supporting herself. ‘No. It’s been five years since he could have…contacted me…if he wanted to. But…nothing.’
‘I’m sorry, Beth.’ She sounded so bereft he wasn’t sure how to comfort her. And he wanted to. Having her here with him tonight had been immeasurably comforting to him.
‘You understand why I can’t leave?’
Gabe nodded. He didn’t want to, but he did. ‘Have you thought about finding him yourself?’
A tear rolled out from the corner of her eye. She wiped it away. ‘Yes…often. But I couldn’t bear the thought of being rejected. At least if he comes to me, he’s seeking me out. I’ll know he wants to have a relationship.’
It didn’t matter that another baby was growing inside her. Her thoughts, her arms still yearned for the child she’d held for only a few cherished moments.
‘I thought maybe this birthday he’d seek me out. But…’
‘When’s his birthday?’
‘January tenth.’
Gabe blinked. January tenth? Click. That date was burned into his brain. The night they’d first made love. Another piece of the puzzle slotted in. That was why she’d been so upset. Why she’d sobbed in his arms. It had been her son’s birthday. The son she’d given up twenty-three years before.
