by V. T. Do
“That’s okay. You take your time.”
And I wanted her to know I would always be there for her, should the day come that she wanted to talk to her mom again.
“Besides, our children will need at least one grandparent,” I said.
“Children? Don’t you think you’re getting ahead of yourself?”
“Nope. You’re it for me. And I think I’m it for you too.”
She smiled. “I love you.”
Those were the three words I would never get tired of hearing from her. “I love you too.”
She looked down at my chest for a quick moment, before looking back up at me. Her eyes were swimming with unshed tears. I wanted to wipe away every last drop, but knew she wanted to say something to me. So I stayed still while she gathered up her thoughts. “Before, when I thought... you know.” I nodded. I did know. And it was my fault.
Had I told her everything from the start, she wouldn’t have thought Erin was her mother. She wouldn’t have left me. I caused us both some unnecessary heartbreak that I would regret for the rest of my life.
I wiped away a stray tear with my thumb when it fell down her cheek and she shot me a watery smile. Unable to resist, I leaned forward and kissed her.
Emery wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close. “It didn’t matter what I thought then. I was and am still in love with you.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that.”
She pulled away and laugh, and my heart tightened. I wanted to spend the rest of my life hearing her laugh.
“I think that’s why you scared me so much at the beginning.”
“Oh?”
She nodded. “I knew, even then, that I loved you beyond reason. And there was just no way to get back from that.”
I shook my head, in awe of this girl in my arms. I still couldn’t believe she was real, and that she was mine. “I’m going to ask you to marry me one of these days, and you’re going to say yes.”
She sighed, hugging me tighter to her. “Yes.”
I laughed. “I haven’t asked you yet. Wait until I have the ring, woman.”
She pinched my side. “I’m giving you my answer right now so you won’t have a nervous breakdown when the time comes.”
“Okay. So if I buy a ring tomorrow, you’ll wear it?”
“Yes.”
“And if I ask you to move in with me right this second, you’ll do it?”
“Well, seeing as I’m homeless now, what choice do I have?”
I squeezed her ass for that comment. Then I reached into the bedside table, until my hand come in contact with a tiny black box. Opening it, I pulled out the gold ring with a princess cut diamond and slipped it onto her ring finger. When I felt her stiffen, I bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud.
“Emery Caldwell, there are no words to describe what you do to me. It doesn’t matter, you see, I was never any good with words. So I’m just going to ask. Will you marry me?”
There was no hesitation from her.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life worshipping the very ground you walk on. I’ll give you the world. And I’ll build you a home. We’ll be happy, Emery.” My eyes had started to burn from all the emotion I was trying to hold back.
She looked up and kissed me. Then she wiped away my tears, her smile shining so brilliantly, the diamond on her finger couldn’t compete. “Yes, we will.”
Epilogue: First Sight
Wyatt
I remembered the first time I realized I loved my wife. It was the day she took me to the Vietnamese restaurant her grandpa used to take her to.
She wanted to show me something new, she’d said. That this could be a new experience for all of us.
And I realized then that the new thing for me that day wasn’t eating a bowl of traditional Vietnamese noodles. It was that I had fallen in love for the first time in my life, and I was terrified of losing her.
I vowed to love only her and no one else, and so far I had kept that promise. I loved her more than anything in this world. My day began and ended with her.
That first moment I saw her walk down the aisle at our wedding was when I realized how her love made me weak. That this five feet, four inches of a woman could bring someone like me down to my knees. And I didn’t mind one bit. I would rather be weak for her than be strong for anyone else.
My hands shook when I held her hands in front of everyone we loved, and my heart stuttered when she uttered the words “I do,” sounding a hell of a lot like a blessing to my ears.
I worshipped the ground she walked on.
I would do so for the rest of my life, like my own personal brand of religion.
And when she announced her pregnancy, I realized how her love made me strong. I felt like I could take on the world just to protect the two most important people in my life. To be able to watch our baby grow inside of her everyday was a humbling experience. One I would never take for granted.
It wasn’t until Emery reached her third trimester that I was plagued with self-doubts.
Would I be a good father?
I never told Emery about my doubts. I didn’t want her to think I couldn’t handle the responsibility of being a father. But still the thoughts persisted.
Emery swore she had loved our son from the very first moment she found out she was pregnant. And I envied my wife’s ability to connect with him in ways I couldn’t then.
I loved watching her get bigger and bigger each day, but the thought that there was an actual human being in the process of being made right before my eyes was a little daunting.
And if I couldn’t love the baby while he was in his mama’s belly, how could I love him once he was here? Would he be able to sense my doubt? My worries about bringing him into this world? Would he know that I didn’t want to be like my own father? That I wanted to be good for him, but wasn’t sure if I was capable?
Emery was sound asleep, because nearly fifteen hours of labor had rendered her incapacitated. I didn’t blame her, but now I was waiting for the nurse to bring my son over to me, and I was shaking with nerves. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do the right thing by him. I needed my wife.
The nurse smiled at me when she walked in with my son. My son, who looked so small in her arms I didn’t think it was possible.
She carefully handed him over, and as quiet as she was when she’d entered, she left in much the same way.
I took one look at him and my heart stalled, before picking up speed so fast it nearly hurt.
Sitting in that semi-dark room, I realized I had lied.
I couldn’t only love Emery more than anyone else in this world. That the heart I had thought couldn’t grow any bigger did the instant the nurse brought my son in to meet me for the first time.
He had only a thin patch of dark hair in the front of his head, his cheeks were chubby, and his lips were in a pout. He looked like a grumpy old man.
He was so small, my own two hands could engulf his entire body, and he felt infinitely fragile. I was afraid of crushing him.
“Can you hear me?” I asked. His face scrunched up in a frown that made me think he could. “I’m your daddy.”
I held on to him with one hand, and ran my fingers down the soft skin of his cheek. His face scrunched up once more, and I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.
I grabbed his toes and counted them. All ten. Then his hands. Five on one hand. One, two, three, four, and five little fingers on the other. I smiled. Yes, I could be a good father.
He opened his eyes. They were dark, and at that point, it was uncertain what his eye color would be. He frowned up at me. I knew he couldn’t see me clearly, but I hoped he knew who I was anyway. I played with his hand, fascinated by the size of him. Then he grabbed onto my finger, and my heart wanted to burst free from my chest.
So much strength coming from such a little guy.
It was unreal.
He must have known the effect he h
ad on me, because I saw a smile in his eyes.
“Daddy loves you,” I whispered. And that was the truth. I’d lied to my wife. I didn’t just love her. I loved this little one too. So, so fucking much. “And I loved you at first sight.”
end.
About the Author
V.T. Do grew up in beautiful Colorado with words on her mind and dreams in her eyes. It's not always easy for her to express herself, but when she writes, magic happens. When she's not writing, you can find her talking to herself, daydreaming, hunting magical creatures, and reading. The Mess You Left Behind is her first book, and with many more coming soon!
