“Is this… Is it… Are we having a baby?” He finally finds the words.
He looks up at me expectantly. I can only nod my head. I am afraid that if I begin to speak that my voice will crack and I’ll fall apart.
“We’re having a baby?” His voice is louder now as he asks.
I just nod my head.
Patton drops to his knees in front of me, pressing his forehead against my flat stomach.
“Our baby, we’re having a baby.” He says the words as a statement, his voice is bordering on wonder and amazement.
“Yes,” I manage to choke out.
“Oh. My. God. Baby, we’re having a baby.” I can hear the excitement in his voice.
I laugh despite myself. I had been so worried and afraid that he would be angry and upset. He appears to be anything but.
Patton jumps to his feet and wraps me in his arms.
“This is the best day of my life.” He says. His voice filled with emotion.
“Mine too,” I promise.
I couldn’t believe it. I was engaged to Patton Blake and having his baby. One in a billion.
“You’re my One in a billion,” I tell him.
“You’re mine, baby.” He confesses and kisses me breathless.
“Let’s lock up. I have something to show you.” He tugs on my arm pulling me toward the door.
I giggle and follow him. I would follow him to the end of the world.
Patton takes my car keys and unlocks the car. He opens the passenger side door for me to get in. The smile on his face is infectious.
We drive two blocks away and Patton parks the car in the driveway of a large gorgeous modern home.
“Patton, what are we doing here?” I ask confused.
He smiles brightly and gets out of the car. Eager to know where we are I follow behind him. Patton reaches me before I cross the front of the car and lifts me in his arms.
He carries me to the front door. With expert skill, he opens the door and carries me in.
Immediately my eyes scan across the large living room that opens up to an enormous kitchen. The place is spectacular.
“Welcome home, baby.” He says and kisses me on my shocked lips.
“You bought us a home?” I ask confused.
His smile nearly splits his face. “I did.” He confesses.
“Patton, I can’t believe you,” I say shocked.
“Let me give you the grand tour.” He takes my hand and leads me through room after room.
The house is absolutely amazing. Already Patton had begun planning out the rooms. To my surprise, he wants many children. He also confessed to leaving his job. He has enough money to life off for the rest of his life but will continue to write freelance and help out with the shop and even help Milo with the club.
I cannot wait to move in and marry the love of my life. Patton confessed to wanting to marry me as soon as I will allow. He doesn’t want a long engagement. He knows what he wants and never plans to leave. I can’t wait to marry him and be Mrs. Blake. Over the past few weeks he had slipped and called me Mrs. Blake and I loved the way it sounded. I can’t believe I was such a fool and thought he was going to leave me.
Secrets
Written By: A. D. Herrick
Prologue
He’s doing it again. I can’t fucking believe he is doing it again. What is this? The third? The fourth time? All of the promises were lies. Every last single fucking one of them. Every single fucking time, I give in to his lies. What makes me sick isn’t what he is doing It’s the fact that he is doing it at all. I feel like such a fucking idiot. I must have doormat tattooed on my damn forehead. My stomach churned and filled with dread.
I want to slam my head against the wall but the migraine I have is already killing me. I know it’s from stress. I have been stressed out to the max for a while now. The same headache, every single day. Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with what he’s doing. Man, I wish he would just keel over.
I have been jobless for two weeks now. Yeah, sure that doesn’t seem like very long, but it is to me. My stress didn’t even start then. It started four months ago. Four long, grueling months ago. I don’t want to think about four months ago or any time up to now. I don’t want to think at all.
How am I ever going to find a job? I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. Everything is going to shit. My hair is a mess. I think I have yesterday’s lunch dribbles on my shirt. I thought I took a shower last night. Was it the night before? Now I’m losing days. Or maybe it’s just my mind that I’m losing. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. I slowly couldn’t to ten. It wasn’t working.
I swear I want to just end it all. Maybe it would solve my problems. It actually doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. The only problem is I am a control freak and if I did off myself I wouldn’t be able to control my funeral. I don’t even want a funeral. He would probably have one just to piss me off. Boy wouldn’t it garner him the sympathy he so badly craves. I seriously hate him. I hate him with a passion.
I would kill him, but personally, I don’t think I would look good in an orange jumper. All my friends tout that they would help me get rid of a body. But come on, be serious, they really wouldn’t. They are all talk and no action. Rachel would, though. She would have killed him for me without question.
Fuck, I don’t want to think about her. It will only make me cry. I feel like I have been crying for like ever now. Four fucking months of tears and then some.
Now here I am, stuck in the dilemma of all dilemmas. Fuck my life. Fuck it all to hell, man. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Maybe I should run to my moms and harass her for a while. I looked up at the clock. Holy shit, when did it get so late? It’s already eight at night. I just finished my morning coffee, didn’t I? Holy hell. Maybe I need to be locked up in a looney bin.
“Nicole, Nicole…” Erick’s voice startled me. I jumped in my seat at the shock of hearing his voice. We hadn’t spoken in days, probably over a week. I turned in my chair to face him. I did my best to mask my emotions from my face. I didn’t want him to know that I knew. Not until I had a game plan figured out. I couldn’t lay here floundering.
“Yes?” I feigned indifference and gave him a tight smile.
“We need to talk.” Oh shit. This was not what I needed right now. I needed more time. Fuck!
“Okay, what would you like to talk about?” I schooled my voice, hoping the panic I felt down to my toes didn’t eek out. Hoping he just wanted to ask me about finding a job. Anything but what I knew in my gut was coming.
“I’m moving out. I paid the mortgage for this month and I’ll pay next months. You are going to have to pay your own insurance though and you have to pay the bills yourself. I have gone ahead and made out a check for next month’s mortgage. I’m going to leave it on the desk.” He stood there so cavalier completely dismissing me and my current state. After everything I have done for him. Especially after everything that happened over the past four and a half months. The son of a bitch stood there arrogantly and more or less told me to sink or swim. You lousy mother fucker. I inhaled deeply and forced myself to remain seated. What I really wanted to do was launch myself at him and wrap my hands around his neck and choke the life out of him.
“When will you be leaving?” It took everything I had in me to keep my voice level and calm. I felt the crazy begging to come out. All of the pent up anger and sadness that I had been holding on to was at the cusp of the dam. I inhaled deeply and mentally counted to five. As his eyes cast over me dismissively.
“I’m leaving in just a few moments. I left my house keys and your spare car key on the kitchen counter. I need my car key back and the insurance cards and I will be on my way.” I closed my eyes and sent up a silent prayer, begging god to give me the strength to not kill his ass right there on the spot.
I stood up from my chair and set the laptop that been sitting on my lap on the table beside me. Walking across the living room I snatched up my purse off the sofa table and pulled out
his spare car key that I kept in the inside pocket of my purse.
I had used it to rescue his dumb ass more times that I could count. He had a habit of locking his keys in the car. I, for the life of me, could never figure out how he managed to do it if he was as innocent as he pretended to be. It seems so simple. Turn off the car, remove keys from the ignition, stow in a pocket, get out of the car. But no, he is the idiot that turns off the car, puts keys in the cup holder and then gets out of the car and goes into work. He thinks I’m an idiot. I know exactly how he was forgetting his keys in the car.
Fumbling through my wallet I fished out the medical cards. His company provided medical insurance at a much lower rate than I was able to get it. Being a sole proprietor left me at a disadvantage when it came to the open market so we opted to use the insurance through his company and he paid for it out of his paycheck every month. It’s a good thing I rarely used the damn thing. It would be a while before I could even think about getting proper insurance.
I held my hand out for him to take the items. He wasted no time snatching them from my hand and turning to walk out the door. Before he had fully closed the front door he turned around. “Don’t forget, I am only paying next month’s mortgage.” I gave him a tight smile and a nod. Fuck him. He shut the door and I slumped to the ground. I was really and truly fucked.
I wanted to cry but instead, I found myself falling onto my side laughing. That stupid mother fucker. He paid the mortgage. The stupid son of a bitch made double what I made a month and that was all he ever paid. That and the insurance. I paid for all of the utilities, the food, the household supplies, and the cat food for his stupid fucking cat. I paid for everything. What the real kicker and sickest part of it all was, our mortgage was only three hundred dollars a fucking month. Meanwhile, our basic bills were over three thousand. Plus I had a car payment. Now here I was no job. No husband to rely on for financial security. Nothing. Fuck me running sideways.
“Rachel, I need you,” I cried into my hands. I missed her. I missed her more than anything. She was my best friend. I picked myself up off the floor and flopped onto my back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Yup, the watermark was still there. Erick was good for nothing. I mean it. Other than paying the mortgage and the insurance he did nothing. We had a five bedroom house that sat on five acres and he did nothing to maintain it. He stayed on his computer or phone claiming work kept him too busy.
He wasn’t always like that. I had to laugh to myself. Isn’t that such a cliché. The fucker was always like that. I just had my head so far up my own ass that I didn’t notice or care.
I met Erick six years ago in an online chat room. We talked for a year before we decided to meet. Quite honestly, we had nothing in common and his voice grated on my nerves. But he was insanely sexy. He was everything I wanted in a man, looks wise. And he never spoke so I rarely had to hear his voice.
Erick was a 6’2 roman god of a man. He had high sculpted cheekbones, sandy blond hair, piercing gray eyes. His body was the stuff wet dreams were made of. He had muscles on top of his muscles and a six pack and that was absolutely drool-worthy. Not to mention his Adonis belt that made my legs jelly. His bright white smile lit up the room.
When we would go out women would just stop and stare at him. I couldn’t blame them, he was hella good looking. That was why I dated him. He was hands down the sexiest man I had ever laid eyes on. Unfortunately, that was all he was. The sex was just dead. Nothing. Thankfully he only wanted it twice a year. He never seemed to want sex which was shocking at first.
The first time he cheated was during the first year of our physical relationship. We were living together and going out with friends all the time. Then one day he just started doing his own thing. I didn’t mind. I had my own friends to hang out with. Then one day I found condoms in his car. I had opened the glove box to get out a stick of gum from the stash I always left in there, and low and behold, there sat a box of condoms. I had ovarian cancer several years back and had a complete hysterectomy and we hadn’t used condoms in almost a year. Actually, we had only used them once.
When I asked him about them he tried to claim that they were from when we first started dating. That would be believable had I not been the one to clean his car out every week for the past eight months and had I not kept a stash of gum in the same damn glove box for the same amount of time. No, it was obvious, he was cheating.
That night when he left to go hang with friends, I knew what he was doing. I had had enough. I was done. I started planning my exit strategy. The lease was in my name but I began apartment hunting anyways. He could have it all. I had an appointment to see an apartment for the following week.
When Erick came home that night he informed me he was going to visit his family in Washington. He claimed to be homesick. I just shrugged. No answer. Inside I was thrilled. I could get a lot done over the weekend while he was away.
I spent the weekend house hunting with Rachel and clubbing, lots of clubbing. By the time Sunday night rolled around I was snuggled in bed and just about to turn in when Erick came home. I listened to his footsteps as he headed straight to the bedroom door. I groaned he was the last person I wanted to see.
He walked in with a cocky swagger and just stood there over the bed chest puffed up like he was king shit. I just gave him a blank stare. I really didn’t have the time for his antics.
“I’m moving back to Washington. My family needs me.” I couldn’t hide the joy on my face no matter how hard I tried. So, I didn’t.
“Oh, Erick, That’s fantastic. I’m sure they missed you. When are you leaving?” My cheeks hurt from how big I was smiling but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t have to leave my apartment, which I happened to love and I didn’t have to worry about packing, which I absolutely dreaded. I would much rather buy all new things than to have to pack and then unpack. It was like the worst possible thing to ever have to do.
“I’ll be leaving on Friday. That way I have time to tie up loose ends here and pack everything up.” I had a feeling this was going to happen. I had noticed that a lot of his stuff was missing when I was going through my own things. It looked like he took a lot more than was required for a weekend visit. I just didn’t want to get my hopes up.
“That’s fantastic. I am sure your family is happy to have you coming home.” I gave him a bright smile and pulled the blankets up over my shoulder signaling the end of the conversation. Erick apparently didn’t get the hint because he kept droning on.
“My mom is excited to have me home. She and her sisters keep fighting over who I am going to stay with.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I silently prayed he would shut up.
“That’s nice Erick. I’m going to get some sleep. I have to be at work early in the morning.” I rolled over and gave him my back.
I heard clothes rustling. “Okay, I’m tired too.” I groaned inwardly. I don’t know what you think is going to happen but you're sadly mistaken, mister. I closed my eyes and begged to fall asleep swiftly. I felt the bed dip beside me. The covers rustled as he slid beneath them. I winced as his body huddled up to mine and his arm went around me. He placed a kiss on the back of my neck.
“Do I get any welcome home booty?” I scooted away and rolled onto my back.
“You are moving fifteen hours away. That is pretty much ending our relationship. I don’t see how we could have a long distance relationship. We would never have time to see one another.” He groaned and rolled onto his back and shoved his hands beneath his head.
“You’re right. But that doesn’t mean we can’t play house while I’m here.” I felt the contents of my stomach threaten to upheave.
“Eh, I prefer single.” I gave a shrug of my shoulder and rolled back over. After a few minutes, I heard his breathing begin to slow and deepen. I finally relaxed and closed my eyes.
Rachel kept me busy Erick’s last week in the apartment. We stayed out late hitting up bars and flirting with men. It was spring and the weather was fina
lly starting to warm up so it was no surprise that our clothing began to get smaller right along with it. Erick waited up for me every night, never saying a word, just silently watching me. Normally it would have bothered me. But I was having too much fun to let him rain on my parade. I loved being in a relationship with someone I enjoyed but I also loved the single life just as much.
On Friday night when I stumbled in from the club I expected to come home to an empty apartment. Instead, I came home to Erick waiting up for me on the couch.
“What are you doing here?” The words just stumbled out of my mouth. My hand flew up to cover my mouth, keeping me from vomiting any more of my thoughts so readily.
“I’m sorry. You just shocked me. I thought you were leaving today.” I gave him an apologetic smile.
“I was, but I wanted to say goodbye to you first. I didn’t think it would be right if I just slipped off while you were out.” He wore a sad smile.
“So, what were you out doing? I thought you didn’t like to go out much.” I was shocked by his tone. He was jealous. We weren’t even together and he was jealous. Even while we were together he never got jealous. It was very odd.
“I was out with Rachel. We hit up a few clubs.” His face scrunched up in distaste.
“I thought you didn’t like going out?” my eyebrows drew up in confusion. I never knew I didn’t like to go out. Weird.
“What are you talking about?” I hoped he could explain it to me as I was rather confused.
“Several times I told you to go on out and have fun, you never went.” I had an ah-ha moment.
“Yes, that was because I don’t feel that it’s proper for a woman in a relationship to go out clubbing and bar hopping. It just leads to trouble. I went out and did other things, though.” He closed his eyes and shook his head.
“Well, I have to get on the road. I’ll call you and let you know I made it.” I gave him a weak smile.
“Okay, be safe.” Before I knew what was happening he had me in his arms. He gave me the longest hug I think he had ever given me. I thought I would feel something, anything from the hug but I didn’t. I felt nothing. I pat him on the back signaling I was done with the hug, but he held on a few moments longer. He planted a kiss to my crown and walked out the door.
A La Mode Page 9
