When Sinners Kneel

by R. Scarlett

  I nodded and again the silence, the tension stretched between us. He avoided looking at me, his hands clenched at his side, staring at the mats.

  I cleared my throat and wiped a few stray strands from my cheeks. “Why did you come here? Why the Pit?”

  Beau grabbed another water bottle and opened it. He tilted his head back and gulped aggressively and I watched in awe as his throat muscles worked, the ink too dancing there.

  He took a breath and wiped his mouth with the back of his arm. “I was looking for an escape. To release my anger. I knew how dangerous I was to anyone around me and I think deep down inside I knew I would regret hurting them so I wandered in here one night; high on belladonna and drunk, and I volunteered.”

  He sucked at his teeth, his eyes far away, deep in thought of those memories. Memories I was sure he didn’t think much about. “The fighters here were ruthless, brutal and I took it upon myself to use all my energy to become one. Each night was a new high, it was liberating, so fucking addictive, I couldn’t stop.”

  I eyed his shaking hands, lifting as he stared down at them. As if they were stained with something he had forgotten about.

  I listened like a fly on the wall.

  He wasn’t talking to me.

  He was remembering.

  “I felt reborn. I felt a purpose in this fucked up world. And I felt powerful. I didn’t stop—I think that’s what frightened the other fighters. Even with a broken rib or an unhinged jaw, I kept getting up, I kept going, like a beast from hell. A beast that wouldn’t die,” he whispered, harshly, those dark eyes flashing with anger. “After losing everything, everything I’d been born to rule over, I had found another kingdom, another empire. But… not one I was just handed with a pat on the back because of a birth order. No. One I needed to conquer myself.”

  I held my breath at his words.

  Because it was the truth.

  He had lost his future role of Dux to his brother and his family had distanced themselves away from him. I remembered his violent outbursts when I first arrived in their lives, but I remembered the hopelessness held in those dark eyes.

  He had been the monster…the beast.

  But he’d been so alone, afraid of himself.

  And his family had hidden him away, trying to sweep his sins under the rug. They’d easily replaced him with his younger brother.

  He’d been a lost soul.

  And despite having the Pit as his saving grace, I think Beau was still very much lost.

  Like me.

  My chest hurt, weighed with an emotion I didn’t want to feel yet.

  Our souls were identical. We were one of the same.

  “Respect I had lost was earned back in these concrete walls. Respect for me as a feared man. No one crossed me,” he said.

  And no one could get close.

  I lowered my gaze, my fingers fidgeting with the hem of my shorts. I wanted to get close, but I could see the wall he built up around himself. If I climbed it…

  “You should go shower, we’re done for the day,” he said coolly and when I glanced up, he avoided my eyes. He was shutting down again, he was retreating back to those high walls and I couldn’t stop him, I could only watch him walk away.

  As alone as ever.

  Weeks passed, and Beau and I had continued our little routine. At five in the morning, he would shake me awake and hand me some fruit. By five thirty, we were at the Pit. No one else ever came this early to the Pit so it was always just the two of us.

  The two of us, covered in sweat, dancing around unspoken words of attraction and hope. Each day I felt stronger, more powerful than ever before. Beau always made sure I ate right. I had never guessed he could cook but every morning and night, he cooked me large meals.

  I felt balanced, apart from my soul craving his more each and every day. I fed from his very soul each day, but it only made me thirstier, hungrier for more of him.

  Beau was an addiction I adored.

  Besides the moments I thought of Dolores and my stomach turned into a block of ice. I trained harder, I worked harder, because I needed to find her. I needed to save her.

  Sometimes when we finished training and I stood underneath the hot spray of the shower, I imagined him coming in behind me, wrapping his callused hands underneath my breasts and kissing me.

  Too many times I found release under that hot spray. Living with him was another difficulty in the sense that I wanted him but couldn’t have him. I watched him undress, bending over to get onto the couch, his firm ass accented in his gray sweats. And the dark happy trail all the way down to his defined V, daring me to get on my knees and pull them down.

  It was pure torture.

  When I had mentioned getting my own place, Beau had been silent. He hadn’t had much to say, but I knew I couldn’t keep staying with him much longer.

  The Pit was slowly coming back to life after the attack and I had noticed most people kept their hands to themselves now. I had a sinking suspicion Beau had warned them off.

  During my shift that night, Beau was nowhere to be seen. He patrolled most nights and tried to be home after my shift so I wouldn’t be alone. I laughed at that.

  In a messed up way, we were acting like a couple.

  I curled my hair behind my back and collected empty glasses.

  Someone tapped my shoulder and I spun to see Aaron, the bouncer I had used to get into Danny’s office, standing there. He again stroked his bald head, his nervous tic.

  “Hey,” he said, a sly smile breaking across his mouth. A mouth that could never be compared to Beau’s savage one. “I’ve been meaning to apologize, but every time I tried, Savage was watching me. I… don’t like the stuff brewing up in that guy’s eyes.” He laughed nervously. “Anyway, I’m sorry about what happened in Danny’s office, I don’t usually get drunk so fast.”

  I shrugged. “It happens.” I tried to walk past him, but he stepped closer, smiling again down at me.

  “I was wondering actually,” he started, shoving both his hands into the front of his jean pockets. “There’s a house party happening at Danny’s tonight after work. Wanna come along? We could have fun, you and I.”

  I froze, the information filling my head. Danny’s house. Aaron was handing me an olive branch without even knowing it. There hadn’t been any valuable information in Danny’s office, so if he wasn’t keeping it there, he had to be keeping it somewhere.

  And there was a chance that somewhere would be his place.

  Dolores’s warm smile came to the front of my mind.

  I couldn’t pass up the chance.

  I tilted my head to the side and smiled. “Yeah, I’d love to. Where is it?”

  He shook his head. “I’ll walk you there.”

  I hesitated but nodded after a beat. “Right after work?”

  “Yeah,” he said, smiling. “Don’t leave without me.” He backed up and went back to his usual spot near the entrance.

  My gut told me there was a chance this would end terribly, Danny hadn’t taken well to me ‘snooping’ around the Pit, if he were to catch me doing the same in his house…I shook my head. Dolores was worth it. She deserved someone to keep searching for her, the same way Tensley and Molly had kept searching for me. They hadn’t given up, and neither would I.

  The rest of the shift was a blur of drunken idiots and bloody fights echoing from below. Beau never showed up, but I tried to ignore that. I had to focus on finding more information to pin Danny or someone.

  I knew far too well the kind of monsters that crawled in the dark corners of our world. I knew what cruelties they were capable of.

  I wiped off the counter and looked up to see Aaron waiting by the back door. He smiled at me again.

  “You fucking him now?” Jackson asked from behind me, his usual frown marring his features.

  “Whether I’m fucking him or not, Jackson, it’s none of your business,” I snapped back.

  He scowled some more. “Watch your back, Lex. I’ve seen h
im associate with a bad crowd.”

  “Isn’t everyone here a bad crowd?”

  A faint smile lined his chapped lips. “I guess so, yeah. Most of us anyway.”

  “Thought so. Have a good night, Jackson,” I told him and pushed off the bar and toward Aaron. He was watching me with hunger in his eyes and a playful grin. I’d use him to get the information I needed. It was how we survived in this environment. It was what my father taught me. Use people. Use others to survive. In a world like ours, they’ll use you right back.

  Aaron wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we exited into the cool autumn night and I closed my eyes as the chill took the heat from my limbs.

  I ran from everything. I ran from commitments, I ran from fear and people.

  And I ran toward trouble.

  Something I’d always had a talent for.

  The house was packed. Bodies upon bodies squeezed together in an attempt to fit more people in. The living room consisted of a bunch of old couches some of which were occupied by couples dry humping each other. A heavy cloud of smoke floated above our heads and I could taste the bitterness of belladonna and other drugs in the air.

  This was the haven of illegal—drugs and sex and booze.

  Music blared through the speakers, but the voices still managed to overpower it.

  Everywhere I moved, someone touched me, grazing my body with theirs, overwhelming me. All the intense emotions storming me. Over the weeks, I’d gotten used to the overwhelming feeling of the Pit. But this place was all new to me, it was like starting over. I could taste everyone’s emotions on my tongue at once and it was making me sweat. The low lighting made it difficult to recognize who anyone was, but maybe I didn’t know anyone here. Aaron moved behind me, his hands loosely on my hips and his front plastered to my back. I could feel his hardness digging into my ass, but I didn’t panic. I didn’t let it stir the fear twisting in my stomach.

  I needed answers. I needed to see if I could find whatever information he had on me.

  I scanned the crowded room but didn’t see Danny. Maybe he was in another room.

  I paused, twisting my arm so it gripped Aaron’s neck and whispered in his ear. “I’m gonna find the bathroom. Be right back.”

  He nodded against me, his attention immediately going to another girl grinding on a guy on a nearby couch.

  I elbowed my way past the living room and into the kitchen to see a few people doing a line of coke on the counter. As I turned the corner, a group of guys blocked my path. All of them stared and as I bowed my head and moved past them, I heard one say something.

  “She’s a souleater,” he said, nudging his friend. “They fuck you up good.”

  Again, I ignored them and moved onto the next room until I ventured upstairs, hearing the excitement of people behind closed doors.

  I listened at each door until I found one that was silent and peeked inside. It wasn’t a bedroom, but an office.

  Jackpot.

  I tiptoed inside and began searching through the drawers. More bills, more notes of nonsense. I turned on the lamp beside me and squinted at the tiny notes. Nothing. Nothing important.

  Not again…

  I dropped the papers and sat down in Danny’s chair, sighing into my hands. The sight of folders underneath his desk made my stomach drop. I reached down and pulled them up.

  Folders about people—every single personal detail about them. Blood type, name, address, birthday—if they’d lose their virginity. What kind of demons they were.

  Dolores Sawyer.

  Her name sat in bold letters at the top of the folder. I flipped it open and began searching through, searching for a clue.

  Age: 32 (born March 9th, 1985)

  Appearance: Brown hair, shoulder-length. Green eyes. Very slender, probably malnourished.

  Breast: D

  Blood type: A positive

  Family: Mother (incubus from Kansas, deceased from overdose);

  Father (unknown);

  No siblings.

  Status: Single

  Address: Unknown

  Employment: Sex worker

  Addictions: none known

  Race of demon: Incubus.

  A photograph snuck between the white papers and I gawked at her tanned skin, the freckles scattered across her cheeks and nose like splatter from a paintbrush.

  But I didn’t see any clues as to where she would’ve been taken to.

  I put the folder down and shuffled through more papers.

  And then my heart dropped and twisted violently when my eyes stumbled upon my name.

  Alexandra Harvey.

  My own name plastered on a yellow folder.

  I flipped it open, tearing at the papers and reading over all the details written about myself.

  My blood type.

  My old address before the hunters took me.

  My birthday.

  And that I’m a souleater.

  My hand flew to my mouth, covering it before any sound could come out.

  What did all of this mean? Why did he have such detailed files on these demons?

  He’d said back in his office that he liked to research each of his employees extensively, and sure enough, he’d known things about me that not many knew.

  But this didn’t feel like the kind of research one did on an employee.

  I stuffed the files into my coat, not caring if it bent them. Just as long as I had them.

  The door squeaked, and I straightened, gawking at the sight of Danny, leaning against the doorframe.

  His features were drawn into an ugly frown and the zigzag scar moved as he gritted his teeth.

  He slammed the door behind him, the few paintings on the wall shaking from the blow.

  “Hello, little Lex,” he said, no hint of friendliness in his tone. It was all anger and frost. “Here we meet again, in a place you weren’t invited to enter.”

  I stood quickly, trying not to tremble in front of him.

  Fuck. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

  “What were you doing, hm?” He took a step forward, blocking my path to the door. “I thought I’d made myself clear on the consequences of snooping.” He tsked, head shaking disapprovingly.

  I swallowed down my panic and raised my chin. Not backing down. Not being the scared little girl he wanted me to be. “You have folders. You have folders about me. About my friend that is missing.”

  His nostrils flared at that and he glanced down at my jacket. “Naughty snoops die around here, little Lex, did you know that? Of course you did, because I warned you once. Didn’t I?”

  He stepped closer, too close that I couldn’t help but back up. He grinned down at me, his hand going into his leather jacket pocket and pulling out a knife. “Such a lovely, lovely face though, such a shame.”

  I darted forward, trying to rush around him, but his arms caught me, and we tumbled into the wall.

  I groaned, in pain as he brought the knife to my throat. I froze, slowing my breathing.

  He hummed, the knife stroking my neck. “Did I mention I like to enjoy my victims before I kill them? Maybe I should do just that, your sweet little ass has been teasing me for far too long, little slut. And I’ve been good to you, but you’ve been very bad, little Lex. Now is the time to right your wrongs.” He leaned forward, licking me from collarbone to neck and I couldn’t’ help but shiver at the touch.

  “Wilson!” he bellowed, a dark laugh breaking through his cruel smile. “Maybe I’ll invite our friend to join in, how would you feel about that, souleater?”

  The door cracked open and I froze, watching as a man walked inside.

  My heart paused when my gaze reached his face.

  I knew him.

  But how? From where? I searched my memories hurriedly, trying to remember.

  Where? Where? Where?

  The man smiled darkly at something Danny had just said, exposing his crooked teeth and dimples. A memory flashed in my mind at that and my breath left my lungs.

  He’d st
olen me. He’d been the man who stole me and gave me to the hunters all those months ago.

  But he wasn’t human.

  He was a demon.

  A demon had sold me to hunters.

  My heart grew frantic at the discovery and what it all implied as the weight of a thousand nightmares crashed into me at once.

  The hunters. Being kidnapped. The laughs. The fists. The pain. The blood.

  Him.

  Him.

  Him.

  He’d been there.

  I knew it as much as I knew who I was and where I’d come from.

  I fought through the panic, through the darkness. I fought to push the nightmares back, locking them away deep within me. This wasn’t the place to think about all this. This wasn’t the place to be afraid and weak.

  “We’re gonna have fun with you,” Danny whispered into my skin. “I hope you said goodbye to your Knight.”

  I trembled, the knife at the base of my neck but my eyes stayed glued to Danny.

  “You,” I gasped.

  He arched a brow and Danny looked back at him. “You know her, Wilson?”

  Wilson shook his head.

  But I knew it was him. It was the last thing I’d told myself to do before they’d dragged me away from the party I’d been attending and consequently, away from my life. To memorize someone. To focus on everything to try and save myself. The man that I thought was a hunter that sold me to more hunters. I had seen in my hazy vision the hunters give him money.

  “You sold me,” I whispered, shaking as I stared at Wilson.

  “Sorry, babe, I don’t remember you.” He squinted at me, stepping closer. “Don’t take it personally, I sell a lot of faceless women to hunters. They all blur after a while.” He shrugged nonchalantly, having the nerve to smile after admitting such horrors.

  “And you—you’re in this with him,” I said, turning my head to look directly at Danny, eyes accusing. “You help him sell these demons to the hunters.”

  Danny dug the knife deeper into my throat and I flinched. “Don’t get cocky, little Lex. It’s not attractive.”