The rest of the evening went smoothly, but Brian couldn’t ease the tightness in his shoulders. Even with Destiny napping the whole two hour drive, she was still sleepy, making it easy for them to camp out in front of the television and watch movies. He hadn’t been able to focus with his arm around Nora, the ball of tension in his stomach. He wasn’t sure how she’d react when he finally came clean, but it was time to clear the air. Otherwise, he’d never be able to move forward with her—which was what he wanted most.
“Brian, did you hear me?” Nora stood by the edge of the sofa, having gathered the popcorn bowls and glasses.
“What?” He blinked, pushing his thoughts away.
“I asked you if you wanted anything. Greta’s calling it a night, she’s going to do some reading in bed, but wanted to know if you needed anything before she turned in.”
“No, I’m fine.” He tapped the seat next to him. “Come join me.”
“Let me take these to her first.” She disappeared into the kitchen before he could stop her, giving him another moment to gather himself.
He rose from the sofa and paced before the fireplace. The warmth from the fire helped ease the chill settling over him. He couldn’t help but doubt his decision to tell her. The fight with Jim was in the past, it should stay there, but he couldn’t move onward unless he came clean. They needed everything to be out there in the open.
“Greta sent these.” Nora held up two glasses of red wine. “Drink, maybe that will loosen your tongue, and you can tell me what’s on your mind.”
“You’re right. I did want to talk to you.” He took the wine glass and took a sip. “I…” He let out an uneasy laugh, before shaking his head. “I give people bad news all the time, and it’s nothing like telling you this.”
“Just out with it.” She set her wine glass on the coffee table and came to stand before him. “Whatever it is, it’s best to get it out.”
“Jim…”
She placed her hand on his chest. “Do we have to talk about him tonight? He seems like a constant ghost between us.”
He laid his hand over hers, entwining their fingers. “That’s why we need to talk. See, I hadn’t been in touch for a number of weeks before Jim died and lost touch because of an argument we had when he put his name in for that deployment.”
“What?”
“I couldn’t believe Jim had volunteered for it, considering how much you needed him. I thought if I talked to him, maybe he’d see reason, but it only made things worse.” He squeezed her hand. “I tried to tell you earlier but I chickened out.”
“When?”
“When we were talking about the day we first met, and I said there were times when I could see the loneliness in your eyes but he’d never listen. Damn it, Nora, I knew you wanted him out of the Army and I tried to convince him of that. It was the biggest fight we had, and the next day he boarded that flight to Iraq. He was killed and I never got to make things right between us. He was a better man than I could ever be. He fought and died for this country, for all of us, and all I can think is he left you alone. You deserved better than that.”
“I’m not the only war widow. We all deserve to have our husbands come back to us, but some of us aren’t granted that luxury. He died to keep us safe at home. He’s a hero…but you’re right, there are times I hate him for it.” She paused, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Could I honestly say we’d still be married if he was here? I don’t know. We were having problems when he left for that last deployment. Maybe some of them were because of the deployment, but the bigger part was that he had changed. He wasn’t the man I married. He was different, the war had altered him.”
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, as tears streamed down her face. “I know, I saw the changes, too,” he reminded her.
“I never stopped loving him, but I buried him years ago. Maybe it’s time to move on.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I was hoping you’d say something like that, but I needed you to know the real reason I had lost touch. I hated to stand by while the sadness in your eyes grew stronger and there was nothing I could do.”
“I appreciate that you tried to talk to Jim. I tried, but he wouldn’t listen. He said he needed to go and at the time I thought because he wanted to protect us back home. Now I wonder if he didn’t go because he couldn’t live with the man he’d become, the man who’d seen and did what he had to do in that war.” She laid her head against his chest. “It’s something we’ll never know.”
“No matter how it changed him, you have to know he never stopped loving you.” He gently caressed her back.
“I do, and he gave me a beautiful daughter.” She leaned back and looked up at him. “Brian, what’s happening between us? It feels like more than just rekindling a friendship.”
“I’m hoping it’s more than just friendship because what I feel for you is beyond friendly. I want you, Nora.” He lowered his head until his lips hovered just above his. “In every way imaginable and then some.”
He closed the distance and claimed her lips. The spiciness of the wine hit him with full force as he let his tongue slip between her lips and explored the contours of her mouth. He ran the tip of his tongue over the sharpness of her teeth before she returned his kiss, bringing her tongue to meet his. With one final kiss he pulled away to look down at her.
“Come to bed with me.”
She tilted her head, her long hair tickling the backs of his hands where they remained on her back. “That sounded like a bad pick-up line.”
“Not a line at all. Plus, I hope I don’t have to use bad pick-up lines. I think I already have you.”
“Oh, Brian.” She tried to pull back from him but he kept his arms around her waist. “I’m a widow, with a sick daughter, and no job. You deserve someone so much better.”
“You’re the woman I haven’t been able to get out of my thoughts for years. As for the daughter, so what? As you said, I’m good with her, and she seems to like me. Isn’t that what a single mothers wants, for her child to like the new man in her life?”
“It means everything that she likes you, but things aren’t going to be easy with her treatments and everything. This isn’t the time for you to get wrapped up in us.”
“I already am.” He cupped the side of her cheek. “I told you before I’m going to be with you through Destiny’s treatments, and we’ll get through this together.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” His trailed his thumb along her cheekbone. “I want to be with you and Destiny. Don’t push me away.”
“I have no intention of pushing you away, I just wanted to give you fair warning that you should be running in the opposite direction.”
“You won’t catch me running anywhere unless it’s toward the two of you.” He rested his head against her forehead. “The next few months might be trying. Destiny is going to have good and bad days, but never doubt that I’m in this with you completely. You’re not alone now.”
“Thank you.” A tear rolled down her cheek and he used his thumb to wipe it away.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” There was something about the tears that rolled down her cheeks that made him want to fight for her, fight so he’d never have to see another tear of sadness fall from her eyes again. She brought out an honor and goodness within him. He was falling in love with her.
Chapter Ten
Wrapped in Brian’s arms, Nora wanted to say something to convince herself that what they were doing wasn’t wrong. She wanted to push her doubts away, but they kept creeping back at the worst moments. He was her husband’s best friend, shouldn’t he be the one person who was off-limits?
She couldn’t stop her body from reacting to him, her thoughts entangling themselves with him, and she couldn’t stop this desire to be with him. She had never felt this way with anyone but Jim, and now he was gone. She couldn’t be the lonely widow her whole life. Brian was just the man to change that.
/> “Mommy!” A screech tore through the house and through Nora’s heart.
“Destiny.” She stepped back out of his embrace and tried to push away the fears that were rising within her. She knew going so far from the hospital was a bad idea.
“Don’t panic.” He followed her toward Destiny’s room. “It might be nothing.”
“We’re so far from the hospital if something’s wrong.”
“Little mother, it’s going to be fine.”
She pushed open the door to Destiny’s room. “Sweetie, what is it?”
Greta peeked out of her bedroom. “Is everything okay?”
“Mommy, the light went out. It’s dark.” Destiny was curled up in the corner where her bed met the wall, hugging her teddy bear to her chest, tears running down her face.
“Everything’s fine,” he told Greta before stepping into the room behind Nora. “The light bulb just went out. I’ll get another one.” He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and turned on the flashlight application, holding it out to Destiny. “Here, sweetie, will this work until I can get the lamp fixed?”
Her little hand reached out and grabbed it. “Thank you.”
Nora sat on the edge of the bed while Brian slipped out of the room to get the new bulb. “It’s okay, sweetie, Brian will have a new light in the lamp in a few minutes. Why don’t you lay back down?”
“I woke up and it was so dark.” Destiny scooted down into the bed and Nora covered her. “I don’t like it.”
“I know, sweetie, you’ve gotten used to having the light from the hospital. It’s hard to sleep in the dark and in a new place, but it’s going to be okay.” Her stomach started to calm, now that she knew her daughter was okay. Everything was going to be all right.
“I’ve got a new light bulb.” Brian held it in his hand as he strolled across the room toward the lamp. “We’ll have this room bright again in a few moments.”
“I’m thirsty.” Destiny pointed the flashlight toward where Brian was changing the light.
“If you’re okay now, I’ll get you a glass of water. Brian will you stay with her.” She patted her daughter’s arm.
“We’ll be fine, go ahead.” He twisted the new bulb into place and the room lit up. “How’s that, sweetie, bright enough?”
Destiny nodded. “Thank you.”
With one last glance at Brian, Nora rose from the bed and headed toward the door. She knew her little girl was safe with Brian even if all the lights in the house went out. He had comforted her with the flashlight and had come to her rescue, just like he had done with Nora. The knight in shining armor. Or rather, the doctor in the white lab coat.
With the light working again, Brian dug a little flashlight from his pocket and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Look what I have for you. It’s a flashlight with a little arm strap, you can wear it around your wrist in case the lights go out again. Then you’ll never be in the dark again.” He held it out to her.
“Thank you.” She reached out and took it, placing his phone in his hand in exchange for the miniature flashlight. Pressing the button on the end, she tested it to make sure it worked before slipping it around her wrist.
“You’re welcome. Anything else I can get you?”
She twirled the flashlight between her fingers, her gaze locked on it. “A daddy.”
Her voice was so low, he wasn’t sure he caught what she was saying. His heart lurched into his throat. “What was that?”
“I want a daddy.” She looked at him. “Mommy says if you wish upon a star your wish will come true. I’ve always wished for a daddy but I’ve never gotten one. Other girls have one.”
“You do have a daddy, and he was a good man.” He nodded to the picture of Jim and Nora that sat by the bed. “He’s in Heaven watching over you.”
“I want one that’s here. I want one for Mommy. I’ve been so sick and she’s been so sad, I want a Daddy to make her happy again. You make her smile and I like you.” She looked up, turning her big green eyes on him. “Will you be my daddy?”
He took her small hand into his much larger one. “Sweetie, anyone would be honored to be your daddy. You’re a bright little girl and we’re going to make you all better soon.”
“Then will you be my daddy?”
It pained him that she wanted him to say yes but he couldn’t. He couldn’t give hope when he wasn’t sure what would happen between him and Nora. “That’s not up to me. We need to see how things work out with your mom and me, but I’ll always be there for you when you need someone.”
“I need someone now. I need a daddy now,” she demanded with intense determination. “There’s a daddy daughter tea party at the hospital but I don’t have a daddy to take me.” She frowned, her bottom lip poking out.
“How about this, if your mom is okay with it I’ll be your daddy for the day and take you to the tea party. What do you think?”
“Really?” She perked up.
“Yes, but your mom has to say it’s all right.” He patted her hand. “I’ll talk to her and we’ll see what she says.”
“What who says?” Nora stepped into the room, a glass of water in her hand.
“Busted.” Destiny smirked.
“Nothing.” He winked at Destiny and stepped away from the bed so Nora could give her the water.
“What’s this?” Nora questioned as Destiny reached up for the glass.
“My light.”
“It’s a miniature flashlight, in case the lights go out. She’ll have something to use until we can get to her,” Brian explained as he stepped closer to the door. “I’ll wait for you in the living room.”
Knowing that when Destiny had settled back down into bed, Nora would follow, he slipped away. It would give him a moment to get over her wish. The poor little girl wanted so much to have a dad. One who would do the things with her she’d seen other girls do. It was sweet and sad all at the same time. He could do the tea party and other activities with her, but he’d never replace Jim.
“You promised to go to the daddy and daughter tea party with her?” Nora strolled toward him but he wasn’t sure if she was angry or not.
“Yes, but if you’d rather I didn’t—”
“No.” She went to him. “I think it’s wonderful. Thank you. That tea party was something she’s wanted to go to but I wasn’t sure how to make it happen. They wanted only fathers for the event, since it’s Valentine’s Day.”
“Come sit.” He sat down on the sofa and patted the cushion beside him. She sat down beside him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Do you realize how much she wants a father of her own?”
“What?” She tipped her head towards him, her eyebrow raised.
“Destiny asked me to be her daddy. That she’s wished on a star every night hoping to have one but even though you said it would, her wish never came true. She wants a daddy for you, too.”
“For me?” Her eyes widened.
“She doesn’t realize that her daddy wouldn’t also be yours. She just wants someone to be there for you. With her being sick she knows you’re worried and wants to make sure you’re comforted. She thinks the two of you having a daddy will make you happy again.”
“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “I’ll have to talk to her in the morning about this. I mean, I know she wanted a father but she can’t just go around asking people.”
“She didn’t pick a stranger. She picked someone she knows makes her mom smile, someone her mom likes. I think in her own way, Destiny has given you her blessing on what’s happening between us. That’s important, not only to you, but to me. I want her to be comfortable.”
“Taking on a child is a lot. Most men would be running the other way from a single mother.”
He cupped her chin and turned her head enough to look at him. “I’m not most men.”
“No, you’re not.” She laid her hand on his leg. “You’re amazing and so much more than I could have asked for. Especially with all that’s happening.”
&nb
sp; “You’re worrying again.” He let go of her chin and laid his hand over hers.
She frowned. “Monday is looming and the closer it gets the more nervous I become. When I’m busy I can push it away from my thoughts, but in moments like this everything comes rushing back to me stronger than before.”
“Well, I think we can find something to keep your mind off it.”
She nuzzled her head closer to his neck. “What did you have in mind?”
“How about a dip in the hot tub? The hot water can ease your stress.”
“That way you get to see me in my suit again.” Her lips curled into a smile.
“Hey, this is for you. I’d have suggested a movie, cuddling in bed, but if you can’t get into the movie than you’ll just think about everything we’re trying to get your mind off of.”
“Hmm, I was thinking of something more fulfilling.” She slid onto his lap, stradling him. “Something in bed, but it has nothing to do with a movie. Cuddling, sure, but no movie.”
“Now, that I can arrange.” He leaned forward and claimed her lips.
Sometime during the night, Nora had managed to fall into a deep sleep in Brian’s arms and slept the rest of the night. It had been the first truly restful sleep she’d had since Destiny’s cancer returned. Sleeping in the hospital recliner, with the nurses in and out all night, did nothing for her. If it wasn’t the nurses waking her, there was some other kind of excitement. No matter how she’d tried, she had never managed more than a few hours’ sleep.
She awoke more refreshed than she had in months. The sun was streaming through the windows, casting rays of light across the floor and the bottom of the bed. She rolled onto her back and stretched, enjoying the moment. The comfortable bed meant she didn’t have kinks in her neck or back like she was used to. When his hand slipped across her waist she stilled for a moment, remembering everything that had happened the night before.
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