by V. Theia
But she asked him none of them.
Wild, unkempt, rough, stern—terrifying, and yet Zara didn't fear him anymore. It didn't matter if he'd killed Hades for his own reasons or to protect her because she belonged to his friend, it mattered to her simply because he'd done it, the whys didn't come into it and probably because she was still bouncing on adrenalin she did something dumbfounded by stepping forward closer to man and bike and wrapped her arms around his massive shoulders.
He instantly stiffened but didn't shove her away. Zara only let the one-sided hug last no longer than three seconds before she pulled back, smiled at him. "I mean it, thank you."
"Don't mention it," he answered gruffly. "Get back inside where it's warm, Queen."
And then his pale blue eyes raised to meet hers and Zara swore her breath quickened before he dropped his gaze. Her chest filled with his acceptance.
Don't you dare cry. Don't you cry and ruin it.
Zara found herself curious about his story. Who was Hawk, really? Was Hawk even his real name? Surly came with a reason and she reckoned Hawk had a lot of those dancing in his background.
Look at that, she mused with a tiny smile on her lips. The beast had pretty eyes. Maybe under all that hair and scowl would likely be a good-looking man, she had a feeling she knew the woman who had recognized his beauty beneath the hardened mask, no way in hell she was saying it out loud though because Rider was likely to go on a killing spree of one best friend.
It was her cue to head inside when he revved the engine. She got out of his way. Not before telling him. "Be safe, Hawk. Rider would miss you terribly if something happened to you."
I will too.
And that was the biggest surprise of all, even above the small matter of a murder today. His constant sneer had become somewhat familiar to Zara, not quite comforting, but she would miss seeing it around the clubhouse.
He jutted his chin, looked at the building behind her almost as if he was going to miss the place and everyone inside.
It was unsure how long he'd have to go away for, probably until Hades manhunt case was closed and no one was looking towards the Renegade Souls. Zara stood under the night sky watching him ride through the gates and out onto the main road, arms came around her from behind and she smiled leaning softly into Rider's chest. A slick pound of love filled her chest.
"You're taking a risk; my big bad biker man is just inside and word on the street is he's the vicious jealous type." biting her lip he growled pinching her sides making her laugh. "He'll come back, won't he?" Zara asked letting Rider guide her back to the main entrance where it was warmth and acceptance.
"'Course, baby. This is Hawk's home."
Funny how Rider's voice wasn't so sure, though.
EPILOGUE
“We’ve only just got started, Icy…” – Rider
There was a lot to be grateful for and most of it began and ended with his old lady he had on his lap curled deep into his ribs and Rider wasn’t letting her go from that spot anytime soon.
His nerves were still rattled over almost losing her. He’d loved her all night long and into the morning, reassuring himself she was here.
It wasn’t about priorities, though she was his, deep in his fucking bones, she was all of it, that’s how it was when a biker took an old lady, there was no shitting around with half measures, and not from the moment he got Zara back in his life, no fucking around with anyone else either, least, not for Rider, his woman kept him plenty satisfied and he’d go to his grave with his dick still hard for her. She was all he saw, breathed, tasted.
This morning and most of the afternoon he’d wanted to make sure she was okay and not fronting it for his sake. His boys bustled around but took glimpses at her as if assessing if Zara really was Queen material for their club, Understandable, the last queen associated to the club, old lady to the former douchebag president, was a bitch incarnate and hadn’t deserved any of the boys' loyalty or protection, but Rider knew his men approved Zara, most all of those crazy soft hearted fuckers had stopped by his room at some point to bring her food, coffee, those candy things she liked, Preacher even brought a stack of her Disney movies which pleased his girl no end.
He’d taken her to her therapy, sat in the waiting room being eyeballed by the old receptionist like she’d never see tatts and a leather cut before, probably thought he was gonna kill all the fish in the tank with his bare hands, whatthefuckever, he’d been there to support his woman, then he’d taken her out for burgers and fries, her favorite comfort grub. Over beef patties and malt shakes they’d talked, even laughed, she’d asked him for stories about Tiny, he knew she was trying to keep his brother alive in some small way and he loved the fuck out of her for that. Zara had reassured him she was good and he had to take her word for it. He didn’t bullshit himself into thinking all her problems would magically disappear now Hades and the rest of the Rebels were being fucked by devils in hell, Nah, but he could see with his own eyes she was better than that night he’d found her.
Shit, thank fuck he’d found her when he had.
What ifs.
His old lady was his priority, there was no what if he hadn’t found her, or hadn’t planned a raid on the Rebel’s flop. Somehow someway he would have ended up in Zara’s path, fucking fate, and all that new age bullshit.
She was his. He was hers.
Rider suspected his old lady would always hold a piece of herself back, self-preservation, he knew it well. He understood and he was fine about it. Because as much as Icy loved him, he loved her twice as much but there would come a day when all those extra guarded walls came down allowing her to live fully again, he would love his woman better than anyone else ever could and the day she decided to drop her shields, he'd be the lucky sonuvabitch holding her hand, every day she gave him a little more of her heart.
Fucking perfect.
Zara gave him bone deep peace on a whole new level and he could be exactly who he was, she never asked him to change.
Together they would build something more.
A new day one for everyone.
For right now he was with his Zara and later he would dole out what was needed from his men, the trouble was dying down, he hadn’t had a visit from the sheriff in days but he knew it was expected those fuckers never left his club alone for long. Hawk had arrived where he needed to lie low for a while. He was going to miss that shithead, maybe being in Texas a while would bring some peace to his friend.
Since the Russians were beginning to make noise, he needed to rule out aggravation from the law so he could deal with those annoying Bratva shits trying to worm their way in.
Things were steadily getting back to an orderly routine way of life.
Thank fuck. Murder was all well and good but give Rider a minute to breathe and love on his woman and he was happy.
He noticed Lawless had his head stuck in one of his books kicked back on a couch, one of his latest stray kittens he'd taken in wrapped around the back of his neck like it was the only place the cat wanted to sleep. Rider rolled his eyes then shifted his gaze over to Preacher chewing the fat with Jed. His road captain was heading out of town later tonight down to Lincoln Nebraska to scout out the problems there for him, maybe not the best idea but he had his orders to keep his shit together where Red Light was concerned, just as well Red Light was a nomad nowadays, those two had history that needed sorting if he ever wanted Red Light to rest his boots in the club on a permanent basis, he needed more good brothers patched in around his table.
"Prez, some of us are headed down to Otis' to drink the place dry, you and Z-girl coming? We’re gonna sit and watch Preacher strike out with the hot bartender." Called out Grinder as he swung into his coat.
"Nah, brother, another time." Rider gave a second's thought to breaking his tracker's legs when Grinder sent a saucy wink Zara's way. His damn men were gonna mess with him forever about his old lady.
“Rider?”
“Yeah, baby?” she moved against him, f
ingers inched up his chest, her taste still colored his tongue. He’d woken at the crack of dawn that morning, even before the light had crept in through the curtains with her climbing on top of him, before his eyes were fully open she was seating the hell down on his dick in a long impale making them both groan together. If he didn’t know Icy was perfect for him before that he did, then.
He made room for her to burrow into his ribs, an arm around her shoulder, her head on his chest and her dainty little fingers inching up the hem of his shirt to touch skin.
"I think I want to call my parents today." her inhale expanded against his own chest wall. Turning to face her Rider dropped a kiss to her forehead, tracked down to her lips.
His girl taking steps. Fucking proud as hell.
"Yeah? you thinking we should take a trip?"
"You'd come with me?"
"Not gonna let you go alone, Icy. They need to meet your man. Know you're safe, even if you don't tell them anything that happened, they're gonna want to know you're good with the man you're with."
"Maybe. I’ll see how a call goes first." she chewed on her lip. He kissed her again.
"However, you want it to go down."
"It feels like a good day; you know...fresh start."
He understood. The MC life was always gonna be club life, sometimes dangerous, oftentimes turbulent, never dull, it was how he thrived. Outlaws walked a fine line and one percenter's didn't care about any lines at all, Rider was somewhere in between that. He had a feeling in the coming weeks the irritating Russians were gonna make him question those lines. Whatever the outcome, it would be in his club's best interest. The cold country mafia with fingers in pies in most every state were going to learn that lesson the hard way if need be.
For today he was about his old lady and his club, everything else could take a back seat.
Making sure she was good.
Fear and failure had never crossed his mind before yesterday, but both had hit him in the face, never wanted to go there again.
"You want to go do that phone call now?" she stiffened beside him. He skated a hand to her hip, kissed the side of her neck coaxing her down from the obvious anxiety. "I’m right here with you, Icy, not gonna let you go through it alone, no matter what."
******
Four years ago
"Mom. I'm going to be seeing you at Christmas." Alice Freeze wasn't known for her hysterics, always calm in a crisis and could whip up a mean eight layered salad with only half a minute’s notice, but on the rare occasion when she let rip the whole world knew about it. Zara hugged her tighter, the bustle of the airport loud around them. Her dad stood in the usual three-piece suit, with his spine stiff not saying a word.
"I'm just going to miss you is all. It's been nice having you home for spring break. You'll call as soon as you get there?"
"Of course, I always do." she took her backpack from her father's grasp. "See you soon, dad."
"Don't forget you have the intern interview in a few months, Zara, you must be ready for it. I stuck my neck out for you to even get on the list." Zara inwardly sighed, she hadn't really thought this all through when she'd gone to law school, that at the end of her schooling she'd have to become a practicing corporate lawyer, her place already fixed in place within her father's prestigious Boston firm with two of his stuffy friends she didn't like at all. Not to mention the arranged marriage hook-up she knew he was trying to wrangle with one of those partner's equally stuffy sons. Now she was in her graduating year before she’d have to take the bar exam, and all those life decisions were careening towards her full tilt.
The truth was she didn't want to be a lawyer, she found it boring as hell, now she was fucking committing the rest of her life to something that didn’t interest her. She'd simply never had the courage to fight her parents on what they told her was best for her. What was best for her was living her own life her way, whatever that may be, maybe she could meet a tall filthy guy and bang his brains out, you never know, it could happen. In any case, she was going to enjoy her last year of school before she took the law bar exam, she’d color outside her box, she might even let Morgana talk her into some risky shit like staying up past nine pm.
"I know, dad. I will be. Look, I have to go, they're boarding soon."
She watched them for a minute stood at the gate, her mom smiling tucked into her father's side, his arm wrapped around her. As apathetic as he projected they really did love one another, when he thought they were alone at home they'd often laugh and make out like teenagers. Zara wondered why then he'd never been able to show her much of any affection at all.
She waved and turned to walk to her gate to take her back to college in Colorado. She'd deliberately chosen a school far away, shying away from her father's choice, her last-ditch attempt at freedom. Deep in the mountains, what really could happen in Armado Springs anyway...
Present Day.
"Hey, Mom? it's me." Zara clung to the phone, her bones tight like they could break any second, hearing her mother’s voice after so long, having a conversation that wasn't lies upon lies, without one of those men leaning over her shoulder threateningly. Her heart beat fast, she wanted to cry so badly.
"Oh, baby! is it really you? Jerome! it's Zara! hurry! sweetheart, where have you been? are you coming home? We've been so worried when we didn’t hear from you, we'll get you whatever help you need, we promise, just come home to us, daddy and I aren’t mad. We love you so much, baby."
She'd figured her parents had never bought the backpacking around Europe and Asia lie, it just didn't fit in with the plain jane personality Zara had before she'd left home.
"Mom, I'm good, I swear. I'm---I'm in Colorado. I'm happy, so happy and I can't wait to see you both again."
"Zara?" her father's voice, must have picked up the extension in his home office. Her mom was crying.
"Hi, daddy. I miss you. I was just telling mom I can't wait to see you. Soon."
"Zara. Sweetheart. We've missed you very much. Are you okay? Do you need anything? Please, whatever you want, just don’t cut us out again, your mother is heartbroken. It's so good to hear your voice, Star." Her childhood pet-name. Emotion clogged her throat. Was that her father's voice cracking? it couldn't be. He sounded older. Tears welled in her eyes and without moving she reached out a hand behind her, felt herself slipping into that emotional vortex, the next second warm fingers curled around hers, the second after that Rider's warmth was at her back, holding her in one strong arm, kissing the top of her head.
"Mom...dad. I'm so sorry. I can’t explain now, just…so sorry." Zara couldn't speak after that, she was stretched thin with sentiment, sobs shaking her chest, she didn't notice Rider taking the phone out of her hand until his voice rumbled, keeping her pressed against his chest, his hand going to the back of her nape. "Hello, Sir, my name is Rider Marinos, Zara is a little upset right now so until she can speak you have me, no ... yes, ma'am, she's absolutely as she said, she's happy, just overcome to talk to you after so long, you have a very smart daughter... me? I'm her man, sir ... a while now ... yes, I do, she’s my world. Zara and I were thinking of heading out to Boston next week, after thanksgiving with my family, if that suits you both. Sure, that's fine."
All the while Rider had the bizarre calm conversation with her parents she sobbed into his chest, clinging to him, not because she needed protecting, or scared she would have to tell her parents the truth, she'd already decided she could never devastate them that way. It was because she'd missed them. They might not have always been the kind of parents she would have wanted at times, but she loved them, hearing their voices made the last three years all that more real, she'd missed a whole chunk of their lives. She only hoped they still had a place for her.
"You okay now, baby?" she looked up into incredible blue eyes, nodding, she scrubbed her face, took a shuddering breath.
"Here is Zara again. Yes, ma'am, I look forward to meeting you, too."
Such a polite man was her outlaw. she gigg
led watery scrubbing a finger under her eye, taking his pressed kiss before he handed back the phone but stayed in touching distance of her, stroking her back.
"I'm such a cry-baby." she laughed. Her mom was crying again just the same. "I just miss you both and I'm sorry for any worry I caused I hope you don't hate me."
"It seems we've missed a lot, Zara." her father's voice austere but she could hear the softness and intrigue there as well. Things had changed for all of them. "You have a gentleman in your life now?"
"Yes, daddy. That was Rider. I can't wait for you to meet him, I know you have a ton of questions and will be naturally and understandably skeptical, but everything is great, you'll see when we come to visit. I don't want to swell his ego because he's stood right here," fingers caressed her neck in that way that made her shiver, she didn't need to look up to know he would be smirking. "but he's pretty wonderful, you'll like him, I promise."
The call lasted another twenty minutes, she'd cuddled on Rider's lap and caught up on book club meetings and the latest charity events her mom was involved in with a promise she would come home soon and another promise to call again later.
"Pretty wonderful, huh?" the laugh was in his tone. Zara crinkled her nose, jabbed fingers to his ribs, leaning into his massive chest. He was so achingly wonderful.
"I knew that would go directly to your head."
"Not just my head, Icy. Want to fuck you. Wanted to fuck you the whole phone call while you wriggled on my lap."
He was already unbuttoning her jeans, helping them down her legs, before he split them over his lap, his hands going to his own jeans, pulling out his hard cock.
It took no work at all pulling her panties to the side and pushing inside her. They both moaned against each other's tongues, their kiss turned up to scorching immediately.
