by Mary Wine
It left her in a sterile environment and desperate enough to enjoy sorting through her meager belongings. By the time night fell, she was on the last bin. She pulled off the lid and set it aside.
The tan prescription bottles were nestled on top of her nurse’s scrubs.
Her mouth went dry.
She started to reach for the lid but stopped. She couldn’t very well label Devon a chicken if she was going to run away from a set of scrubs. She lifted them and found a fat, oversized envelope. Her hand shook as she picked it up and opened the flap.
It contained all the bits and pieces of her time at the county hospital. Her nurse’s badge with a pathetic picture that was slightly overexposed. There were the pictures that had been taped to the inside of her locker. In the pictures were the people she’d spent the last ten months trying to forget, but suddenly she didn’t want to do that. Maybe it had been cheating death herself that made her realize how precious life was. She studied each face, smiling as tears gathered in her eyes.
The contents of her wallet were next. Driver’s license, health card and a collection of supermarket customer-rewards cards. There was her credit card that made her mouth go dry, because having it only made her recall how dangerous it would be for her to use it. Gennaro’s men could only protect her if she was with them. A small collection of cash bills was there, along with a folded newspaper clipping.
She hesitated again but forced herself to reach for it. When it was unfolded, the headline sent tears down her cheeks.
Shooting Rampage at County Hospital Claims 12 Before Nurse Takes Shooter Out.
Their faces flashed before her eyes and she didn’t turn away. She recalled each one, including the shooter who had brought the number of dead to thirteen.
She folded the paper and slid it back into the envelope with everything else. Her purse was in the bin, completely empty and even cleaned. In fact, everything had been cleaned. There wasn’t a single pine needle or smudge of dirt to connect any of it with the cabin. Not even a lingering scent of pine. Only the smell of dry cleaning.
Sterilized.
So what on earth did they have in store for her memories? The idea raised the hair on her nape but also stroked her curiosity. What other sort of psychics were there? She laughed dryly, realizing her imagination was running wild.
And if it wasn’t, she’d happily live in ignorance until reality showed up.
She put the lid on and stacked the bin with the others. Ten plastic bins. She sat on the bed and stared at them, trying to decide where she was going after she left the mountain.
After she left Devon.
She scoffed at herself and went through the doorway that connected to the bathroom.
He’d left her.
Brutal but true.
She could call him all of the richly deserved names she wanted, but it didn’t change the fact that he was in control of their relationship. What little there was of it.
Well, except beyond the mind-blowing sex. On that plane, they were equals. As in equally out of control when together. For just a moment, she indulged herself in a memory of just how intimate it had been. It had felt like she’d discovered an entire new sense that was just as rich and vibrant as sight or hearing. She couldn’t call it just sex because it had been a hell of a lot more.
That knowledge left her feeling discouraged and empty. And damned fucking alone in the world. But at least it was a familiar position. It was the same position she’d been in up at her grandfather’s cabin. Devon had been an amazing distraction, but it seemed that was all he was interested in being.
She crawled into bed after drying her hair and found Devon sitting square on her mind. At least the memory of him was. She couldn’t feel him.
She missed that.
The longing was intense and impossible to banish. It held her just as securely as Major Genaro’s unit did.
Pop.
Kalin heard the little sound and wondered what it was.
Pop, pop, pop.
Not too loud, not too alarming. She looked up from the crash cart she was stocking. Dr. Colwart was in the doorway, his eyes wide and shock on his face. She straightened, peering closer at him as screaming started up behind him.
Pop. Pop. Pop, pop, pop…
He was hugging his belly and bright-red blood began to seep through his forearms. “Help…” His tone was full of pleading as he slid to his knees and the screaming in the main emergency room rose to a thunderous roar.
Things were crashing and glass was breaking as she ran toward Colwart, trying to assess his condition.
“I need a gurney!” she yelled.
But she couldn’t be heard over the panic sweeping through the ER.
Colwart’s lab coat was turning crimson and the scent of blood filled the air. People fell as they ran past the doorway.
Pop…pop…
“No, no, I have a wife!”
Pop.
She looked up as Dr. Adair jerked. He’d had his hands up but he flew back toward Kalin, sprawling across the white tile of the hallway. People were hunched down, only their ankles and shoes visible as they tried to take cover.
The gunman turned, horrifying her with the sight of his face.
He was just a kid.
Fifteen, maybe sixteen.
But he held a black handgun with confidence, his face twisted with rage. “You’re not going to cut my brain out!”
She recognized the panic in his voice. He was high on crack cocaine. She pressed back into the doorway, catching a horrifying glimpse of Dr. Colwart’s face. He was pale and his lips were turning blue because his heart had stopped. She leaned forward and pressed her palms down on his chest as a blur passed the doorway.
“Hold it right there, son!” A cop took shelter in the doorway with her and shoved her back. She reached out, grabbed Dr. Colwart’s belt and tried to drag him toward her so she could continue CPR.
Pop…pop, pop, pop…
“Get away from me!”
The cop let out a grunt before sliding down on top of Dr. Colwart. His eyes were wide open as a hole in the center of his forehead leaked blood. His arms were flung out wide, the gun he’d tried to threaten the kid with in his hand because he’d been unwilling to shoot first.
“Do you hear me? I’ll kill all of you…brain eaters!”
Some of the people pinned down started screaming.
“I’ll…get you all!”
She grabbed the cop’s gun, the weapon feeling strange in her grasp. Her knees were knocking as she pointed it toward the doorway and stood up to get a clear shot.
Pop.
The kid was behind the main desk, his lips curled back as he fired at whoever had taken refuge there. Someone fell into the open as they panicked, trying to get away.
Kalin pulled the trigger.
But nothing happened.
Pop…pop…and a click.
The kid was out of bullets. She breathed a sigh of relief before he pulled something from his pocket and slid it into the gun. He laughed as he took aim.
“I got enough lead for you all!”
She looked at the gun. The small safety was still on. She pushed it up and aimed the gun at the kid again. It was horrible, almost too horrible to do, but another scream bounced around the ER as the kid came around the back side of the desk.
“Please, please…don’t…” someone whimpered, hysterical.
Pop.
Kalin felt the discharge travel through her fingers, up her arms and into her shoulders. Time slowed down and the kid spun around as the bullet hit him in the shoulder.
“Brain eater!” he yelled, leveling his gun at her.
Pop. Pop.
The trigger responded so easily. So horribly easily. This time he jerked, two crimson spots appearing on the surface of the tee-shirt he wor
e. His mouth gaped open as he tried to draw breath but couldn’t because his lungs were filling with blood.
People ran by screaming, but she felt like she was shattering. Everything she was flew apart as her fingers refused to stay clasped around the gun. Blood coated her fingers, pushing her over the edge into pure panic over what she’d done.
She couldn’t scream.
Couldn’t draw in breath.
Couldn’t look away from the kid bleeding out on the floor.
Couldn’t live with what she’d done…
“Kalin.”
Someone shook her, but she fought them. She shoved at them as she tried to scream out her terror.
“Wake up.”
She was shoved back down and a hand covered her mouth as she opened her eyes and stared at the dark room, disoriented.
“Wake up, Kalin, you’re safe.” Devon’s voice drove the nightmare back, but not far enough back. Her belly rolled, nausea making her choke.
She struggled to roll off the bed, desperate to reach the bathroom before she threw up. There was no time to protect her modesty by being polite. But she smacked one knee as she fell in a heap.
He reached down and scooped her up with one strong arm around her waist. The moment she got her footing, she raced toward the bathroom and hung her head over the toilet as the nightmare took its toll on her body.
She ended up draped over the rim of the commode, too shaky to get up. Tears streamed down her face as the horror clung to her mind like oil.
Devon suddenly filled her thoughts, driving the memory back into the shadows. She made a little sound of relief before he picked her up and carried her to the vanity.
“I need…a second…” she managed.
He punched the light on and handed her her toothbrush in response.
She grabbed it, unable to meet his gaze as mortification claimed her. She fumbled with the sink and succeeded in turning on the water before he walked past her and back into the dark bedroom.
She was relieved but disappointed too. Only remnants of his presence remained in her mind.
She needed…
The water was cold, helping her to wake up.
She needed to deal with it. She focused on getting the toothpaste onto the bristles and brushed her teeth and washed her mouth out with mouthwash. She drew in a deep breath and let it out.
There was a click as Devon set a shot glass down on the counter in front of her. The scent of whisky was strong. It was tempting. He lifted another glass to her before tossing the contents back.
“Thanks,” she muttered before drinking the glass in three swallows.
The bright light of the bathroom was too much. She wandered back into the bedroom to hide in the shadows. Devon turned the light off, leaving her blind.
But she knew where he was. The mental wall he’d put between them was missing. She smiled, enjoying the feeling of him just like she might his embrace. In many ways, it was the same.
The bed moved as he joined her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against him.
He didn’t have a shirt on.
For certain, she’d decided on a dozen reasons why she should control herself with him. None of them stuck. They went sliding away as he turned her thoughts upside down, just as he had from the start. There was only him and her desire to touch him.
And be touched.
He cupped her chin, raised her face and flooded her mind.
She gave a little purr of pure enjoyment, welcoming the bliss that came with being in contact with him.
“I shouldn’t touch you…” His voice was rough with his battle to maintain control. She flattened her hands on his chest, the feeling of his heart sending a flash of relief through her.
Life…she wanted to touch it, roll in it, immerse herself until there wasn’t anything else for her in the universe.
Devon could give that to her.
“I want it too.” His tone was hard and his kiss was harder.
She reached up and slipped her hands along his jaw to hold him as she met him. His lips slashed overs hers, teasing and sucking. He pressed her mouth open, capturing her nape to keep her prisoner to his demands.
But she wasn’t in the mood to be controlled. She turned and lifted her leg over him, settling down with her thighs clasping his hips while she hooked her hands around the back of his head and kissed him back.
His cock was hard, pressing against her sex with only a thin layer of fabric to protect her. Not that she wanted protection. He was her protector, the thing shielding her from the nightmares. His chest was blissfully bare and she let go of his head to run her hands along his shoulders.
She was bold.
It made Devon feel more on edge than he ever had. He reached for the bottom of her night shirt and pulled it up and over her head. She raised her arms so he could strip it from her, but he twisted the thin fabric around her head and arms, holding it with one hand as he leaned over and captured one of her nipples between his lips.
She gasped but thrust her hips forward, rubbing his cock. She wiggled her arms and the stretchy fabric yielded enough to let her pull her arms loose.
“We’re not playing that way tonight.” She pushed him back and climbed off his lap. He bounced back on the bed, expecting to curl back up, but she caught his waistband and opened it. She ripped his fly open and yanked his pants down his legs.
His cock sprung free, straightening out.
She dropped his pants on the bed and smiled with victory. She reached for his length and wrapped it in a tight grip before leaning over and giving him a view of her mouthwatering tits.
“Next time you walk away from me, take this memory.”
She leaned over and licked his length.
“Oh shit…”
His cock hardened to a painful level. She held it, pumping her hands from just below the head to the base. But what she did with her tongue sent him back onto the surface of the bed as enjoyment wrung him. She lapped a hot, wet trail around the head, teasing the underside with the tip of her tongue before she closed her lips around him.
He growled, curling his fingers into talons. She laughed softly with her lips still wrapped around his cock. The sound vibrated against his flesh, sending him thrusting up to fuck her mouth as she pumped him.
“No,” he snarled as his balls tightened, threatening to spill his load into her mouth.
He curled up, reached for her hair and pulled her away from his cock. Face-to-face, he felt her breath on his lips, but she pumped her hands down his cock once more, making him fight back the urge to come.
“Not nearly yet.”
He reached over the side of the bed and hooked one of her legs. He pulled her up and onto the bed, pinning her beneath his body. When she squirmed, he caught her arms and pressed them above her head.
“Stop demanding control, Devon.”
“You enjoy it,” he whispered against her lips. “I feel the desire inside you, that deep, dark secret…”
No one knew that…
He grinned. The curving of his mouth sensual and too knowing. He tightened his grip on her wrists, just a fraction to feed the craving boiling inside her. “I feel all your needs.”
“That can go both ways, Devon.” She lifted her legs and clasped them around his hips. Her body was wet, her folds opening so that the head of his cock slipped easily between them. Their thoughts were mingling, making it impossible to resist the urge to finish connecting completely. She lifted her hips, gasping as the head of his cock penetrated.
He groaned and lifted up and off her. “Got to use a condom.” He fumbled in the puddle that had been his pants and withdrew a foil packet. He ripped it open with his teeth before pushing up onto his hunches to sheath his member.
For a moment, she savored the sight of him. Hard, demanding and the answer to ev
ery longing she had. Lying on her back was impossible. She was impatient, unable to remain so passive. She sat up and reached for his shoulders.
“Missed me, did you?”
He grabbed her hips and guided her onto his lap. He eased her into position, his hands cupping her bottom as he sank into her body.
“I’m not the one who walked away.” She pressed herself down on his length, gasping as pleasure swirled through her. Somehow, sex had never been so good before. The actual act had never been so full of delight.
“Good.”
He was inside her mind, her thoughts merging seamlessly with his. He dug his fingers into her bottom, lifting and pushing her as their tempo increased.
“I want to be the only man you ever think about.”
His tone was raspy and possessive. But she tossed her hair back and refused to let him command the pace. She was going to ride him, claim him.
“In that case, you’d better be planning on being around.”
Her heart was pounding and so was his. She could feel him reaching the breaking point, climax tightening through his body. She was focused on his pleasure and it gave her enough restraint to hold back her own. He snarled as his cock began to jerk, spurting as pleasure rolled through him. He clamped her against him, thrusting into her with short, powerful motions that rubbed her clit.
She exploded, pressing her mouth against his shoulder to muffle her cry. Their pleasure mingled, washing through her and leaving her draped over him in a boneless heap.
Sometime later, she opened her eyes and realized he was still in the bed with her. She didn’t recall how they got untangled and didn’t care. All that mattered was the way he was curled against her back, his arms holding her securely and his mental wall nowhere in sight.
For just a moment, everything was perfect.
It had been so long since she’d felt like that that she tried to stay awake and savor it, but slumber claimed her as satisfaction glowed softly all around her.
Kalin felt Devon withdrawing from her. Even half-asleep, the separation was still something she noticed keenly. She rolled over and found the bedding warm but empty. She opened her eyes and found the blackness of night giving way.
