I Know What You’re Doing
Part Two
‘Our Dirty Little Secrets’
By Zane Michaelson
Junction Publishing
United Kingdom & New Zealand
Copyright © 2017 by Zane Michaelson.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.
Zane Michaelson/Junction Publishing
United Kingdom & New Zealand
Our Dirty Little Secrets
[email protected]
Publisher’s Note: This book is based on real-life events, but names and places have been changed to protect the identities of those not wishing to be revealed. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any other resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.
Ordering Information:
Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the “Special Sales Department” at the address above.
ODLS/Zane Michaelson -- 1st Ed.
Dedication
As always, my family.
Prologue
adjective: secret
Not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others.
I‘ve led a charmed life in many ways.
But in other ways, I’ve been cursed by my own doing.
If you’ve read She Loves to Watch Me Play, you’ll know I don’t always make the best decisions.
Still, I can’t complain -- they were my decisions and I had to live by them.
Through it all, I never forgot the most important thing – family.
Jenna is the most amazing woman I've ever met. Yes, we've had our ups and downs, and you'll read more as the story unfolds, but marriage isn't supposed to be easy. Is it?
Macy and Naya, my beautiful children. They bring me untold joy and waking up in the morning to their smiling faces starts my day off perfectly. Like any parent – I’d sacrifice my own life for my daughters.
I have a fantastic career, doing what I love. And although it keeps me insanely busy, I’d miss it if it went away. At times I want to shout my frustrations from the rooftops, but my career allows my family to have a more than comfortable lifestyle.
My wife and children are still, and always will be, the most precious people in my life. They are the centre of my universe, and that’s the reason I was initially unsure about writing these books.
What would I say if any of my immediate or extended family ever realised who I was? How would they react?
A mini nuclear explosion is probably underestimating certain people’s reactions.
Still, the likelihood of any of them reading this is remote. I hope. But I’m not one hundred percent confident about it.
Putting my story out there for the world to see wasn’t easy, and to this day, I can’t believe I had the courage to do it.
Courage, or stupidity? You decide.
I knew I was opening myself up to a torrent of abuse and yes, if you’re curious to know, the emails from disgusted readers did indeed pour in, but I knew there would be people who would condemn my actions.
I opened up my life for the world to see, and their criticism is justified. Right?
Well, yes.
And no.
As ‘Disgusted from Leeds’ said in a bluntly worded email:
It's people like you that give the gay community a bad name.
Or my favourite comment from Facebook Messenger.
I hope you catch AIDS and die.
I think ‘Disgusted from Leeds’ missed the point entirely. My story does not allude to any community whatsoever. It isn’t about my foray into homosexuality, but about my experiences, and represents a very small part of my life as a whole.
With the above in mind, I wholeheartedly agree to a person's right to express their opinion, I also agree with the right to reply. ‘Disgusted from Leeds’ never gave me that option, but that is by the by. However, the mysterious Facebook keyboard warrior did get more than a strongly worded message in reply. I was swiftly blocked. I didn’t lose any sleep over it.
I like to think the individuals berating me and accusing me of spreading all manner of sexually transmitted diseases, are in fact, some sort of modern day Saints – that rare person who has never made a single mistake in their entire life.
Well, good for you is my reply. I wish I could have been perfect, but as much as I aspire to be, it won’t happen.
Writing the first book was all part and parcel of allowing people into my world, even if it’s only a sneak peek. But, going forward, I hope people won’t continue to judge me so harshly.
There are things I'll never tell – far too personal for me to reveal, or things I’ve been asked to keep private for one reason or another.
I might say things during the series that cause offence, and yes, I might receive another torrent of abuse, but this is my story to tell, and for those criticising, would you be brave enough to tell yours, warts and all?
If I were totally honest with you all, and this might be controversial -- Chad saved my marriage, so I regret nothing, nor do I offer any apology.
Saying he saved my marriage doesn’t come easily as the love I felt for Jenna has never died, and continues to grow stronger every day. I know I can speak for both my wife and I on that score.
The children are still the apples of my eye, and I'm pleased to say, daddy's girls through and through.
I sometimes watch as Jenna struggles with them. “Daddy do it,” they often say, and I know she doesn’t take it to heart, but it gets a little tiring when she has her own work to get on with and they are difficult to manage. It’s always the days Jenna has a limited amount of time they choose to act up.
Anyway, as I was saying above, Chad saved my marriage, and I will never believe anything different.
I was lost in my own world and didn’t know why. But, in a strange, roundabout sort of way, he showed me what I wanted, what I was in danger of losing and what I had to do to keep it.
I opened my eyes every morning and had that sinking feeling, like any joy I felt was being leeched out of me, and for those readers that have experienced any form of depression, for a while, I lost the essence of myself, and wondered how, and where I'd lost sight of who I was.
Chad forced me to take a long hard look at myself, but I wish I'd been able to find myself without breaking my vows.
“I’d never cheat.” Yes, I spoke those immortal words, but I did cheat.
I don’t believe it makes me a bad person, just human.
Chapter One
I laid a picnic blanket on the freshly mown lawn, taking advantage of the kids’ overnight stay at their grandparents’.
My cock was already rock hard, pre-cum dribbling from my piss slit.
I knelt at the side of Jenna's head and looked down as she took my throbbing cock in her hand, gripping it tightly. She looked up at me and gave me that knowing smile before teasing the tip of my cock with her tongue.
Noticing a string of pre-cum stuck to her full pink lips, I reached forward and with my index finger, wiped it away and slowly slid the finger into my own mouth.
“Naughty boy,” Jenna purred, finally wrapping her li
ps around my cock. Her mouth opened wide and seconds later the entire length of my cock disappeared down her throat. She retched just a little -- her gagging only heightening my arousal.
I loved the fact she struggled with my long, fat cock. The size of my cock was one of the reasons she’d been reluctant to perform oral sex on me, but over the last few weeks, she couldn’t get enough of it.
Jenna could make me cum so easily, and once again, the familiar tingles started in my ball-sack as my hot load threatened to erupt.
“I’m gonna cum,” I groaned, grabbing hold of my cock. “Where do you want it?”
“Over my tits,” she said as I jumped up, ready to explode.
Jenna pushed her breasts together.
I couldn’t hold it any longer and dumped my load exactly where she wanted, shooting my thick white spunk all over her perfect breasts.
I dropped to my knees and we both licked hungrily at the cum from her nipples. She loved it when I ate my own cum, but sharing it took things to another level. Once we'd finished, I clamped my mouth around her nipple, gripping it gently with my teeth, pulling slowly.
"Bite them," she ordered. I did as I was told.
I knew she liked it as the moans grew in volume and intensity. Jenna was able to make as much noise as she liked with no surrounding neighbours to worry about, and thankfully the gardener had left hours ago.
I knew she was close and stopped what I was doing, captivated by her. I watched mesmerized as her fingers crawled down to her pussy.
My cock was still hard as her fingers plunged in and out of her hole, then the familiar noises she made as she squirted almost made me shoot again, and I wasn’t even touching my cock.
She lay on the grass, her naked body glistening in the sunlight.
I couldn’t resist and buried my head between her legs, tasting her. Without hesitation, her legs parted wide for me and her eyes rolled back as she enjoyed my tongue deep inside her.
Finally spent, we pulled the rug over ourselves and fell asleep, her body curved into mine. I don’t know how long we were there for, but I opened my eyes and the house and garden were in total darkness.
The only light was cast from the moon and stars above.
I kissed her neck gently, and she stirred, responding immediately.
I was so horny – I had to take her again, there and then.
Pulling her onto her knees, I slapped her bare behind gently.
"Harder," she moaned, and who was I to refuse? I slapped her arse a few times. "That's nice, baby," she whispered.
"You dirty fucking whore," I said, slapping her arse harder than before.
"Fuck my arse," she said, and momentarily, I was shocked. She'd never asked that of me before. It had always been the most taboo of fantasies. “Do it.”
“No,” I replied, not wanting to hurt her.
"Do it," she repeated, snapping at me.
I was unsure, but really wanted to. It was too good an opportunity to turn down, I spat into the palm of my hand and used it to lube my cock.
"Are you sure?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't change her mind.
"Do it," was her only reply.
I pushed the tip of my cock into her virgin arsehole and pushed gently until a few inches of my cock were inside her. Her arse clamped around me. I was so turned on, I lost control and shot my load, there and then. Selfishly, I didn't tell her I'd cum as I hadn't finished. I grinded my hips toward her, feeling the tightness around my cock.
"Aaaarggghh," she moaned. “Slowly.”
I pulled out slowly, not wanting to hurt her.
“No, no,” she said.
I wasn't intending on pulling my entire cock out -- I just wanted to start off slowly. “Okay, baby. I’ll go slow.”
I took my time for a few minutes, but her body was on fire, and I could tell by the movements she made, she wanted more.
"Fuck me," she commanded. I pushed into her once more and to my surprise, she pushed back against me until my hard cock was fully inside her. "Just stay there and don't move," she ordered. "Let me get used to it."
I did as she asked and allowed her to take control, then slowly, she began to grind her arse against me, her hole became accustomed to my cock.
"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned.
She didn't answer, but let out a moan that told me how much she was turned on.
My cock was rigid -- solid as marble.
"Fuck me," she commanded.
I thrust forward as she pushed back, my balls slapping against her. I struggled to maintain control and could easily have shot my load again, but I held off as long as I could.
I grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back. She groaned as every inch of me was buried inside.
“Give it to me,” she pleaded. "Harder."
"I love you," I panted, getting closer.
"I love you too, Zane," she replied, slamming back against my cock.
"I'm gonna cum," I moaned, my body shuddering.
I was balls deep, keeping tight hold of her hips as I emptied my load inside her.
Chapter Two
I felt better than I had in a long time, but the phrase, cake and eat it, reverberated around my brain.
The selfish side of me was still in there screaming to get out, but I had no idea how to put my life back into order.
The weeks zoomed by and I struggled to keep my emotions in check. It felt like I was trapped on a non-stop rollercoaster ride of lies and deceit.
The truth was forever on the tip of my tongue, ready to drop, but I thought about how much pain the truth could cause.
So I stayed silent, but what other choice did I have? The last thing I wanted was Jenna finding out anything and having her world ripped to shreds.
When I was with Jenna, I felt content and was the happiest I’d ever been in my marriage, but God was on one shoulder, and the Devil, sitting like the weight of the world, firmly on the other. Two parts of my conscience in constant battle.
What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, the evil part of me said, whilst the good side kept prodding me to own up in the hope my marriage could somehow be salvaged.
I was deceiving the people who mattered to me the most, and I rationalised I had no right to feel any form of happiness.
I was married to the most amazing woman and my children filled me with undeniable joy. Nothing and nobody in this world would make me walk away from them.
Then there was Chad.
It felt good having him back in my life, and whilst I loved him as my friend, I definitely wasn’t in love with him.
I hadn’t lied to Chad about my feelings as it was important he knew where he stood from the start.
For me, what we had was horny, uncomplicated fun with my friend, and nothing more.
Still, as happy as I was, confusion hung over my head like a large grey cloud waiting to drench me.
Doubts, thoughts and feelings whirled around my brain continuously. I felt dizzy, and one sunny afternoon, I decided I needed to talk to somebody who wouldn’t judge me for my behaviour.
I jumped into my car and drove to the cemetery where my grandparents had been laid to rest a few years before. I still missed them like crazy -- they’d always been there for me, and even though it would be a one-sided conversation, I knew they were listening.
My grandparents were the only two people that knew about my real relationship with Chad, and although they probably didn’t understand, there was never any judgement from either one of them.
“If you’re happy, then we’re happy,” my Nana would say, and without fail, Grandad would nod in agreement. “Sod everybody else, and if your Dad has a problem with any of it, send him to me and I’ll sort him out.”
My parents never had a problem with any of it because I never told them, and don't intend to.
Not long after, I met Jenna, and that side of my life was over and done with. Or so I thought.
Anyway, back to Chad.
Being with him made me
feel like I was twenty-one all over again. It was exciting, and despite the responsibilities to my family, a part of me felt as carefree as I did whilst we were at University together.
I was angry with myself because the carefree part of me craved the freedom the rest of me didn't want.
Chad asked me if I considered myself bisexual, but it was something that never entered my conscious thoughts. Not back then, and certainly not now. He was the only guy I'd ever felt any form of sexual attraction to.
I hated the term pansexual with a passion. To me, it was just another way of saying I’m a greedy bastard and want to fuck anyone and anything. The old adage of ‘any hole is a goal’ was never something I’d subscribed to.
And yes, I was well aware the word greedy summed me up perfectly, but apart from Jenna and Chad, there were no others I desired that level of intimacy with.
I shouldn’t desire intimacy with anybody but my wife.
But I did. And I thought I knew the reason why.
I had two very different kinds of sex with both Jenna and Chad.
With Jenna, she’d taken on more of a dominant role in the bedroom, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t, and didn’t want to assert my masculinity with her.
Just last night, she was naked across my knees as I slapped her peachy backside with a wooden spoon I’d hastily grabbed from the kitchen.
I worried it would hurt her, but gentle taps were all it took, and a few minutes later, the familiar moans told me she was close to climaxing. At that point, I slapped her with the spoon that little bit harder and felt the shudders rack her body.
Pre-cum oozed out of my cock and dribbled down onto the tiled floor.
Jenna slipped off my knees, the faint flush to her cheeks made her look like a naughty schoolgirl caught in the act. I loved this new sense of sexual freedom we were exploring together.
I didn’t have to ask her, but she got onto her hands and knees. Crawling sensually toward me again, like a panther stalking its prey, she opened her mouth and deep throated my fat, veiny cock.
She didn’t stop sucking until I felt my spunk flood the back of her throat and even then, she wanted to carry on, but my orgasm was so intense, it left my cock feeling ultra-sensitive and I had to pull away. The sensations travelling the length and breadth of my body were immense.
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