“There’s only one lady I ever made a promise to—a long time ago,” Marius confessed.
“Only one promise and to one lady?”
“Yes. It involves you.”
I raised my eyebrows at him, wondering what he was talking about. “Go on.”
Marius stopped walking and put his hand on my shoulder. “I promised her that if you survived that night, you would tell the story.”
“The story?”
“Yes, in your own notebook-writing way.”
“Sure, anything else?”
“Yeah, I want it to have a happy ending.” Marius grinned. “I’m sure of it.”
“We’ll see.” I looked at him, puzzled, and continued walking.
“At least I’m not asking you to cheat.”
We both laughed as we walked under the bright rays of the moon.
CHAPTER 32
A Dance for Moony
Later that night, after introducing Marius to Rachel, I went back to the park. I needed to be alone with my thoughts. I still didn’t know who sent me the letter with the poem or where my satchel and teenage writings were. I was hoping to read them again; hoping that it would remind me of what it was like to be alive.
I could hear some of the kids in the park as I approached, while they celebrated their special night. The dance was over, and they were milling about outside the high school. I walked by them on my way to the riverbank. Couples holding hands were scattered everywhere. I felt a cool breeze coming from the river.
Amongst all these teenagers enjoying their youth, I was a solitary figure again. I looked up at the night sky and felt the welcoming warmth of the moonlight on my cheek. I could hear that voice again as I reached the side of the hill by the river. It was Moony’s voice asking if there would be dancing tonight. I smiled at myself and the comfort of hearing his voice.
I sat on the bank of the river. It was eerily calm tonight. The moonlight cast reflections on the waters splashing light into my tired eyes. I almost had to blink. The river suddenly revealed itself as an ageless and restful place. I believed my purpose was fulfilled. Marius had needed me here just as much as I needed him. I had all of the time in the world and sensed he would need every second of it.
Soft footsteps, coming across and down the hill, grew louder with each thought. Reaching into my jacket that I held in my hands, I looked back at the stars as I unfurled the paper I had carefully hidden in the inside pocket. Who had sent me this?
To my horror, the page was splattered in a quantum dance of blue ink. If I had been in a psychiatrist’s office, it would easily pass for two giraffes holding hands. It was not. My foray into the river with Marius blurred the ink, leaving behind a blue smudge. The poem vanished forever now, leaving me with memories and an abandoned promise. I shut my eyes in quiet thought. I tried to imagine who it was closing in on me. I could feel the breeze of the river brush against my cheek and the paper in my hand swoop up and out of my reach, glancing off my right eye and away. The figure sat next to me quietly as I continued to stare at the river, gently rubbing my eye.
“It’s been a long time, Kiran. You know, I still have some CDs of yours, if you want them back. I stopped smoking years ago, too, so I won’t ask you for a cigarette.”
Without looking at her, I grinned. My head looked down at the ground. It was a voice that quietly drifted in from the faraway lands of my childhood. A most welcome friend.
“Hi, Janie,” I said. I turned to face her and to confirm my instincts. Her head tilted toward me to meet mine at the same angle. I hadn’t seen Janie since the last days of high school. Her eyes were a darker blue than I remembered. She was wearing a black shawl with a white blouse and long skirt. She wore flats. Her hair was delightfully long, blonde, and tied at the back with a blue ribbon. Gone were the piercings of a rebellious youth. Sitting beside me now was a stunning flower.
She punched me on the shoulder and reached over and grabbed my chin to study my face. “Your eye did recover quite nicely. Never looked better.”
“I see you grew your hair out again. Nice touch with the blue ribbon,” I said, motioning to the back of her head. “You want to tempt me again. Got to get the left eye, right? Won’t happen, my dad taught me!” I laughed at my failed attempt at false anger.
She smiled back with no response. I could almost see her lips moving, practicing her next words. Finally, her eyes looked out at the river and back to me. “I’m sorry, Kiran. I know you were hoping it would be someone else sneaking up on you.”
I followed her eyes and looked at the ground and the satchel that she delicately placed in front of me.
“I can only assume you sent me the letter and had the satchel and everything?”
“Don’t be angry with me.”
“How did you get it? Why you?”
“Rachel gave it all to me. She came by looking for information. I work at the school now and when I heard she was Moony’s sister and she showed me the letter Moony wrote, I offered to help her find you.”
“You work at the high school?”
“Yes. A long story. Music teacher.”
“Why did you not tell me?”
“I didn’t think you would come back for me. I offered to help Rachel, though.”
“The satchel and stuff?” I asked with one eye on her and one eye on the prize sitting on the grass in front of me.
“The night Moony died, he tossed it into the trees, apparently to keep it safe. The police found it and gave it to his aunt. That’s how Rachel got it. She came looking for you. She is smart. No doubt about that. I told her we were old friends, and if anyone could find you, it would be me.”
“So, you read everything. Everything?”
“Yes. I probably shouldn’t have, but I did.” She studied me with probing eyes and a warm smile. She paused in between her words, almost in tune with some beat she could only hear. “I think it’s all very wonderful, really. The stuff you wrote. It was very touching that someone could affect you so much.”
“I don’t know what to say. I honestly do not mind you read it. If anyone found it, I suppose . . .” I stopped my sentence trying to find the words and hoping maybe she didn’t notice my incomplete thought.
“You suppose?”
“It never was meant for anyone to see. Moony read it, so he knew and now you. But I trust you.”
“You trust me? Really? I owe you a box-load of albums and CDs I borrowed and you can still say you trust me; I’m pleasantly surprised.”
“I always trusted you ever since that day.”
She looked at me and could see my eyes staring into space, processing all that transpired. She reached out and grabbed my forearm. “I need to tell you something. Rachel tried to. She’s the one who called me. She said you would be here.”
“She called you tonight?”
“Yes. I asked her to. I was worried. She wanted to tell you everything, but you took off. I know what happened that night. I know what happened tonight. She called me on my cell, just after you left.”
“I figured she did. Why else would any other adult be out here in the wee hours?”
“Fortunately, I was at the school, chaperoning the grad dance. Not too far really.”
“So, what is it that Rachel needed to tell me?”
“It’s about Laura. I tried to find her. After reading everything, I knew what I wanted to do, and told Rachel I would find her. We both knew it would be the only way to get you back.”
“Good grief. You didn’t have to do anything. I could handle it.”
“Please just listen and remember we desperately tried.”
“So you tried to find Laura?” I was almost saying it to myself, impressed by her deed.
“Yes, I did. It’s why Rachel tried to speak to you. I knew you would come back. After all, I read, I know you. I’ve known you
since we were six. I knew you would be back. I gave you a black eye and got you a detention and you still always were nice to me. I just knew. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“She moved away years ago. Someplace in Germany. I didn’t contact her. We couldn’t reach her.” She let go of my arm, got up, and walked down the slight incline. She walked near the edge of the river and was gazing at the reflection of light on the water. I bit my lip and pushed off with both hands onto my feet. I walked slowly to her and stood next to her. Out of the corner of her eye, I could see a dot of soft blue looking at me. She then turned and analyzed my face, seeing me biting my lip. Her eyebrows raised in acknowledgment.
“Oh, my God! You know. You’ve known all along?” Her voice trembled at my revelation, her eyes wide.
“That she married years ago and moved? Yes, I’ve known that for a long time, to be honest. A very long time.”
She gasped slightly almost in disbelief and partially in relief. “I don’t understand. When I sent you the poem, if you knew you wouldn’t find her, why?”
“Why did I come back?”
“Yes.”
“I came back hoping to find myself again. What you sent me was a reminder that I left my soul back here when I retreated south. I needed to reclaim what was once mine. My soul.”
“You’re not mad at Rachel or me?”
“No. Especially now that I’ll get all my music back.” I could see her face give birth to a distinct smile. It was almost like she was suppressing it. She turned and walked back to where the satchel sat and picked it up and brought it back to me, her arms outstretched before me. “It’s time it finally got back to its rightful owner.”
I took it from her and slowly opened it. An old, beat-up notebook with pages and pages sticking out everywhere. I sighed in recognition of it. She finally broke the heavy silence as she saw my eyes glitter with moisture.
“I know it must hurt you. Everything. Moony. Not being able to tell Laura—and now her being so far away.” Each word from her was melodic and soothing.
“I practiced, you know. Practiced all day that day what I was going to say.”
“I have little doubt that you still recall every syllable.” Her mood became playful suddenly.
“Yeah. I probably do.”
Her eyes grew wide with the schoolgirl excitement of a new idea. “Why don’t you tell me what you were going to say?”
“Oh, Janie. I would feel a bit awkward. It was so long ago.”
“Awkward. You made me read that other poem you wrote for Laura. Remember. Christmastime.”
“All along, you were on to me. I cannot believe it.”
“You are so transparent to everyone but yourself. Now please tell me, don’t be shy. I’ll be completely honest.”
“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.”
“I’ve done far worse to you. Now, please, for me.” Her eyes waited for the words as if listening to them.
“Be mindful that I was only sixteen. It is a little amateurish.” I didn’t wait or expect an answer from her. I closed my eyes and rewound my mind. The words reappeared as if conjured by a sorcerer’s spell.
“There’s a saying that love sets on fire the one who finds it. At the same time, it seals his lips so that no smoke comes out. Well, I am nearly suffocated from the smoke now. You see, I obsessed with how I would feel. I now know with clarity and in peace that it was never about me. The love I feel gave my soul air to breathe. The way I see it is simple. From that first day, I knew I loved you, I have been fabric by fabric, thread by thread, knitting a coat to give you, made of the most enduring of all materials: my love. Like any great gift, I have no expectation of anything in return in this lifetime. All I hope for is you accept this gift. It is yours to store away if you wish for now. It will always be there for you to wear in this lifetime and beyond. I will find my happiness knowing it will keep you warm through eternity.”
I stopped and opened my eyes. Janie stood smiling in front of me. “I assume you were going to give her your flight jacket that night as a symbol. Cool and sweet.” She didn’t wait for the affirmative nod. “Did you ever wonder what kind of reaction that would get?”
“To be honest, I was hoping for a smile back. That’s what I told Moony, and I meant it.”
“How about, I love you?” She grinned with her eyes flashing like a million fireflies. I may have been blinded by the light as my mind remained tangled in the past.
“That would have blown me away if Laura had responded anywhere close to that.”
“Silly boy. It’s not her saying it.” She stood before me, eyes sparkling, and without me realizing it right away, she was holding both of my hands.
The realization flooded the chambers of my dry soul with fine mineral water. A million words danced in my mind. “Janie. I was not expecting.” My voice trailed off and blended in with the water evaporating off the river.
“Of course, you weren’t.” She giggled with a hint of nervousness. Janie had always been confident and self-aware. I was now witnessing her vulnerability. I was overwhelmed with the complete trust she was showing me.
Suddenly the words tumbled from lips. “Are you sure? You read all this and . . . are you sure?”
She laughed at the childlike wonder I showed her. I was giving her an out, a way to take back the words. She could always repent for I would surely forgive her.
“I’m sure because I read all that. Sounds simple if you ask me.”
“Crystal clear,” I said, laughing.
“Understand that when I read what you wrote, it was such an intense flame that must have burnt inside you. It gets cold up here. The warmth of that fire attracted me because the source is so caring.”
“I wrote this for someone else. I mean about someone else.” I said it in a whisper.
“Of course, I know that. We’ve known each other since we were kids. I always liked you, but as I learned more about you, I liked you more. Knowing you had this in you and what you were capable of feeling, well, maybe you understand why I’m next to you today.”
Her hand reached out and touched my cheek gently and slowly brushed it. Sparks erupted at my very depths, setting off fire upon fire. “Janie, I always considered you my friend. Not just any friend. A special one.”
“Kiran, I know how much you loved her. Even over the years. I know you still do. Be honest.”
A lie would have been easy, not for Janie. “Yes.” My heart was content in the truth. “The love that awoke inside of me years ago was always part of me, the best part.”
Janie continued my sentence. “And you always will. It will never change how I feel about you.”
A gentle breeze swept over the river, and a quiet roar went up from the currents. My heart exploded in rhythm. “Follow me.” I took Janie’s hand in mine and with the other hand picked up the satchel. I led her to the edge of the river and kicked off my shoes and reached down and took off my socks. She followed my lead and took off her shoes and lifted up her skirt slightly. We waded a couple of feet into the water. I stopped and looked at her as I put the satchel down in the water and pushed it adrift into the river.
“I figure Moony needs something interesting to read.”
“Are you sure? I know how much it means to you.”
“I’m sure. It’s only words. The feelings and emotions will exist beyond these words. Those words are for another time and another place. What is important to me now is here.” I leaned over to her and held her by the wrist and kissed her on the lips. “If I let go, you’re not going to slug me again, are you?”
“No. Only if you promise me one thing.”
“I’m staying. For sure, I’m not leaving you.”
Her face beamed, and before she spoke, I continued, “I have no job right now and not many prospects. I may not be the best catch.”
/> “I wouldn’t worry about that. Follow me.”
We walked back across the field and up and over the hill until we could see our old high school on the other side. The students had long since departed and there were faint lights that emanated from the school. I could see a memorial plaque at the entrance of the school and decided I needed to visit it with Marius and Rachel. I had already made my offering to the gods.
In the midst of our trek, she turned to me. “I’ve been teaching music here the last ten years. We could use a good English teacher.”
“Janie, did you read my notebook? I can’t teach English,” I said, almost serious. “Unless proper spelling and grammar are optional.”
“I will just say I know the principal very well. I don’t think it’ll be an issue.” She smirked, pointing to the school parking lot.
There in the space reserved for the school principal, in bright black print on a white background were the words:
RESERVED FOR PRINCIPAL WOODSMITH
I looked at her in utter amazement. She unlocked the doors and led me into the school. We walked into my old English class. It was refurbished with a smart board, new desks, and chairs. I paused at the doorway and looked around the now empty room. My eyes looked at my old spot and darted across the room to the last seat at the back of the class at the far side. I stopped momentarily, beamed, and could almost feel a smile back. I then continued down the corridor.
She led me to the gym. Paper plates, cups, confetti, and ribbons were strewn everywhere. She maneuvered me to the middle of the dance floor. She took my hand and guided it partway to her hair.
“Go ahead. I know you’ve wanted to.”
I reached out and caressed the blue ribbon dancing again at the back of her head and slowly untied it with both hands in her hair. My hands felt her soft blonde hair, and at that moment, I could feel her lips on mine. She slowly pulled her head back and began singing. I never knew how angelic her voice was.
She sang a song I recognized from my youth. One I had not heard in years. The lyrics danced off her tongue. I welcomed them all like an old lost friend seeking shelter from a storm.
The Boys Who Danced With the Moon Page 21
