Love,
Cindy
* * *
19.October. Harvest 200 OUAT
The Beast’s House, Kingdom of the Shifters
Dear Cindy:
It was so good to hear from you. Sometimes I feel so alone here. And Beastly’s all out of sorts lately. He’s bipolar, you know, and frankly, I think he nurses it for all he’s worth at times. In fact, I’m pretty sure he goes to therapy just to whine about me. Well, it’s not my fault that he’s stuck with me now. I wouldn’t be here in the first place if he hadn’t threatened Father’s life. In fact, when you think about it, I’m the one who should be seeing a therapist.
I know you’ve heard this before, but seriously. Is it fair? My sisters begged for all sorts of trinkets when Father went away on his last business trip, and he had no problem bringing them home basketfuls of thrift-store junk. I ask for one lousy rose and I end up being handed over to a strange beast because my old man was too cheap to buy me a flower. No, instead he had to plunder a stranger’s garden. A stranger who had been kind to him.
I have to admit, Beastly is proper enough around me, and he does try to keep me entertained, but I miss my freedom. I don’t like being cooped up inside this mansion. It’s lovely and all that, and Beastly is cordial enough, but it’s hard for me to pretend that I’m happy. I’d rather hang out in the library and read than talk because all he does is grumble about his existence. Can you say emo-boy? The library is the one saving grace about this joint. It has over a thousand books and at least they’ll take me some time to read through them.
How are things going with your stepsisters? I have to admit, I envy you. Not that you have to deal with the StepBitch or her daughters, but you have to admit, you can leave any time you choose. The only thing holding you there is the fact that you want your Mom’s jewelry. I’m trapped here. If I leave, Beastly will track down my father and kill him.
I do understand, though. It’s hard enough in this world if you have money. Being poor...well, poor and a woman...sucks. So, how are the ball gowns going? Why don’t you make yourself a dress and go, too? You might as well have a little fun.
Love and hugs,
Arabelle
* * *
28.October. Harvest 200 OUAT
The Noble’s Cottage, Kingdom of Prince Charming
Dear Arabelle:
I swear, I’m going to sound like I’m tripping, but Arabelle—the most marvelous thing happened! I’m not sure where to start so bear with me.
Yes, I managed to finish their gowns. They’re gorgeous, if I say so myself, and the spawn actually cleaned up fairly nice. They didn’t bother to thank me, but what the hell? I didn’t expect them to.
So, last night was the first ball. Yesterday morning, the StepBitch surprised me, though I should have suspected what was coming. She was admiring the gowns and suddenly said, “Cinderella, would you like to go to the dance, too?”
Well, of course I said yes. I mean, after months of drudging around here? Who wouldn’t want to get out and party hearty? I thought maybe, just maybe she was being nice for a change. Maybe she decided to get religion or that she could spare a drop of compassion or maybe she just woke up on the right side of the bed for a change.
But then, she holds up a pot of pinto beans—dry—and says, “If you can pick up every last bean by the time we set out, then you may go!” And she tossed them all into the ashes in the fireplace.
At first I thought, “Fuck you” but then, I realized that if I didn’t pick them up, she’d be even more spiteful. So I was down on my hands and knees, sorting those beans out of the cinders and ashes. Two hours later, I had managed to find them all and I handed the pot back to her.
You know what she had the nerve to say? “Oh dear, but look how grimy you are, all covered with soot. There’s no way you can be clean in time for the dance.” And she and her spawn sailed out of the house and off to the castle.
Even though I was pissed, I decided I might as well use the time to have a bath. So I filled the tub—sneaking a little of her bubble bath—and stretched out.
After I was clean and relaxed, I headed back to my room. I had no sooner entered the cubicle they keep me in when there was this blinding flash of light.
Now...here it gets really weird. I thought something had exploded but when I was able to see again, there this woman standing in my room. She was wearing a long white dress and get this—she had wings. I’m still not sure if they were real or fake.
Anyway, I was like, “Who the hell are you?”
Arabelle, she told me she was my Fairy Godmother and that she was going to make sure I went to the ball. She went on about a whole bunch of stuff that I’m not quite clear on—karma and all that—but the upshot is that she hit me on the head with her wand (as skinny as it was, that stick of wood was heavy) and there was a poof of rainbow colored smoke. The next thing I knew, I was wearing a dress as golden as the sun—a ball gown that fit as though it were made to order.
I figured I might as well go for it because...hey, if it was a hallucination, it was a good one, and if it wasn’t, well...YOLO.
I asked her how I was supposed to get there on time. She grabbed me by the arm and yanked me outside. And it got weird again. Weirder, even. Fairy Godmother tossed a pumpkin on the ground, touched it with her wand, and it turned into a coach. And she commandeered four of my pet rats and turned them into horses, and one of the chickens ended up as the driver. In human form. Not chicken form.
By that point, I was beginning to wonder if I’d been breathing in too much soot, but before I could say a word, Fairy Godmother shoved me in the coach. She told me to be certain to leave the dance before midnight or things would go very bad. And zoom, away we went. We were speeding so fast I was afraid for my life. But hey, chickens can’t steer very well, I guess, and rats know how to scramble.
We reached the castle and the ushers escorted me in (I dunno if they’re actually ushers, but I’m not sure what you call them—I’ve never been in a castle before). They asked my name. Well, I couldn’t very well tell them Cindy because if the StepBitch and her spawn realized who I was, I’d be done for. I told them Ella and that’s what they announced me by as I swept down the grand staircase, making an entrance I’ve only dreamed of.
The dance was beautiful. Everything was decked out with buffets and decorations and a thousand candles burning. But then, here’s where it gets awkward.
The Prince came over to ask me to dance. Prince Rudyard Charming. So I danced with him. And he kept coming back for more. Now...this is going to sound snotty, but Arabelle, he’s the most boring man I ever met. All he could talk about was how rich he was, how handsome he was, how charming he was, how lucky any woman would be if he chose to marry her. I begged off after three dances and hid out in the women’s restroom. Oh! They have really nice sofas in there.
I was sitting there, debating on whether to leave early, when a gentle voice touched my ears. I glanced up and, oh Arabelle, there stood the most beautiful woman in the world. She was shorter than me, with hair as red as fire. And she was wearing a form-fitting green dress that hugged her curves perfectly. Her eyes were pale blue, like mist on the water.
She asked if she could sit by to me, and before I knew it, we were chatting like old friends. I felt comfortable around her. And I also felt something else. Arabelle, I think I’m gay. All I could think about was what it would feel like to kiss her.
I’ve mentioned before how I’ve never found any guy that made me even remotely interested in getting married. Well, now I know why. She enchanted me. I think...I hope...she feels the same way. I have to go to the next ball. I have to see her again. I can’t forget her. Hell, I’m dreaming about her. The trouble is, I don’t even know her name. Somehow, in all our talk, we didn’t get around to introducing ourselves and by the time I realized how bewitched I felt, the clock was striking midnight and I had to run. I barely made it back home before the rats and chicken turned back into themselves.
So, there. That’s been my week. No business-as-usual about it, right?
How about you?
Love, Cindy
* * *
31.October. Harvest 200 BG
The Beast’s House, Kingdom of the Shifters
Dear Cindy:
Holy crap, that’s wild. Yeah, it does sound like an acid trip, except I know you, and I know you don’t exaggerate. You have to go back and find her again. Connections like that don’t happen very often. You can’t let the chance go by that she might be the one.
I’ll be honest. I’ve had my suspicions that you might be gay for some time, but I couldn’t say anything. That’s something you have to figure out by yourself. But I saw the way you looked at Rapunzel the last time we hung out together, before her mother sent her away to the Tower Boarding School and my father shipped me off to Beastly. You were looking at her like a horn dog, girl. I’m surprised you didn’t realize it back then. But whatever the case, I don’t care. You’re my BFF.
As far as how I am. Well, I have news, too. Beastly surprised me the other day in a way I really didn’t expect. It actually made me feel more kindly to him.
I was in the library, crying, when he came in. He asked what was wrong, and I told him that I felt like a prisoner. That he was always moping around and that his mansion is always so dark and gloomy. I begged him to let me redecorate—at least my room—and he actually apologized for being so angsty.
He gave me the go-ahead to re-decorate my room and the library! He said he noticed how much I love reading, so I might as well be comfortable doing it.
Then, he gave me a present. I expected it to be some dress or something froufrou but no! He managed to find a first edition copy of The Adventures of the Gingerbread Man. That’s a collector’s item! Ever since Hansel captured him and ate him, the book’s been hard to come by. And even better, this is a signed copy! It has the Gingerbread Man’s handprint in the front. You can even make out the cracks on his hand from when he was first baked and was left in a little too long.
Well, I can tell you, I feel a little remorseful. Beasty actually took the time to find something he knew I would love. Instead of jewels or perfume, he brought me a book. And a rare one at that. I guess...Maybe he isn’t so bad. Maybe he’s been paying attention to me more than I realized. Whatever the case, when we had dinner last night, I didn’t even complain about his manners or that he got soup in his mane. And we talked about literature instead of his problems. It felt almost like home.
So that’s about all from my front. Let me know what happens at the next dance! I’m getting a vicarious thrill out of this, you know.
Love 4Ever,
Arabelle
* * *
6.November. Harvest 200 OUAT
The Noble’s Cottage, Kingdom of Prince Charming
Dear Arabelle:
I’m in love! I’m in love and I don’t know what the hell to do about it because yours truly had to go and find the only woman in Fairyland that she can’t have! I’m weeping, Arabelle. I’m weepy and crying and moping and for the first time in my life I feel like one of those goth emo chicks like Rose Red.
I guess I should start where I left off last time.
The StepBitch was absolutely furious about the ‘strange beauty at the ball who co-opted the Prince’s attention.’ Heaven forbid she ever find out it was me—she’d probably try to kill me like Snow White’s stepmother tried. By the way, did you hear that after seven years, they finally managed to get a conviction once Snow woke up and was able to tell them what happened?
Anyway, the StepBitch and her spawn were on a real rampage. They wanted new gowns, brighter and better. I didn’t have time to make three new ones so I had to take the ones they wore to the first dance and do what I could to make them different. It’s amazing what twenty yards of tulle and a Dazzle-Mate can do. The gowns were hideous once I got done, but they loved them.
So the day of dance number two arrived. Before the StepBitch could goad me, I retreated to the hen house until they left. By the way, the chickens are looking pretty good and laying eggs steadily, so my plan to make sure they’re eating enough seems to have worked. Anyway, I was about to put on that golden dress and try to figure out a way to the castle when boom, poof, and a big glittery unicorn-fart flash later, Fairy Godmother was standing there again.
She asked me if I wanted to go to the ball again, and of course I said yes. One wand-wave later and I was decked out in a gown as silver as the moon. And four rats, one pumpkin, and a chicken later, I had my carriage and steeds. Oh, by the way, FGM is a whiz at hair and makeup, too—she’s just a makeover marvel.
And then, I was off to the ball.
But this time when I entered the room, the Prince was waiting for me. Before I could say a word, he swept me into his arms and away we went, dancing. And I felt nothing, Arabelle. Nothing except for his hand groping my ass. I kept swatting him away but the man doesn’t want to take no for an answer. And once again it was, my castle’s so big, my fortune’s so huge, my carriage is an eight-horse-power carriage.
Finally, I managed to plead a headache and slipped away to the restroom. I was hoping to see her again, of course.
And...she was there, and she was waiting for me. We snuck off to a side room where she swore nobody would barge in on us. And we talked and laughed, and it felt so wonderful. She’s so beautiful, Arabelle.
I felt horrible lying to her. Because...oh goddess, I’m going to die. Turns out that she’s Princess Charming—the Prince’s younger sister! Her name’s Antonia. Antonia Charming. She asked me what kingdom I’m from, and before I realized what I was saying, I told her I was from EverAfter, because that’s about as far away as you can get and nobody knows what’s going on over there anyway. You could be a frog and say you’re a prince from EverAfter and nobody would question it.
Anyway. She kissed me. And it was wonderful and everything I imagined a first kiss should be like. Her lips were warm and supple, and she smelled like warm peaches straight out of the orchard.
She took my hands and said, “I know this is sudden, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” I told her I felt the same way and right there, we pledged our undying love. But now, it’s all going to be ruined because I am a stupid idiot. She thinks I’m a princess. I have no idea what to do.
And now the StepBitch wants brand new gowns for her spawn for the third dance. She’s convinced that I’m—well, she doesn’t know it’s me—after the Prince. All she talks about is that bitch of a girl who co-opted the Prince’s attention.
As if! The last thing I want is to be saddled with him. But I can’t tell the Grand Dame of Bitchville that or she’d know it was me at the ball. So, what do I do? I’m in such a deep muddle that I am clueless.
Of course, I’m going back to the third dance, but after that...what? I can’t stand thinking that I may never see my true love again. Antonia made me realize I don’t care about jewels or fancy homes. Except she lives in a castle and I live in the scullery and, oh Arabelle...I’m so heartbroken.
Love and hugs,
Cindy
* * *
8.November. Harvest 200 OUAT
The Beast’s House, Kingdom of the Shifters
Dear Cindy:
I wish I had some advice for you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. To find your true love and then not be able to tell her who you really are? I’d say continue the lie, let her think you’re from EverAfter, and maybe...Oh, I don’t know! I’m feeling particularly stupid about matters like love lately. I’d almost rather die than admit this to you, but...I’m in love, too.
Yes, it’s Beastly, and OMG, how can I even say that? He’s not even human! At least you’re in love with someone who doesn’t have to use flea powder. That sounds so horrid but I have no clue what to think about this now. But how do you fall out of love with someone you didn’t even like in the first place?
Beastly’s been so nice lately, and his therapy seems to have
turned a corner. Although, it can be a little much and I’m wondering if I preferred him when he was in his angsty phase. Now he’s all gung ho and positive thinking and let’s-get-motivated. I think he’s been listening to that new minstrel in town—you know, Anthony Bobbins.
Either that or the teapot opened her mouth and told him how I’ve been feeling. I can’t help it. I talk to myself. And this is the first time I ever lived in a place where I have to worry about the china and silverware eavesdropping on me. And don’t even get me started on that freaking grandfather clock. I swear, if I have to listen to him rumble with his old stories one more time, I’m going to throw that winding key into the lake.
Anyway, so yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, I think I’ve fallen for Beastly.
I told him flat out though, this is just a platonic relationship unless he figures out a way to change shape because I’m sorry, I just don’t do beasts. And if he can’t, then I need this to be a poly relationship so that I can at least have sex now and then. That knocked him for a loop. I think he expected to spend his days wooing me with flowers and wine and poetry—cerebral love. Well, cerebral love is all well and good, but I’m almost a grown woman. I have needs. I have desires.
So the past couple days have been tense. I love him, but I can’t bring myself to sleep with him. I mean, all that fur? And he loves me, but I think he was looking at me like a china doll that he could pretend-play house with and now the doll has turned into a living, breathing woman who wants more than a few baubles and pretty words.
Everything is all screwed up. Unless Beastly can find a way to shift into human form, I think our relationship is doomed. And he’d better not use that frog prince crap on me. Edan only had to kiss the frog before he turned back into a prince. She didn’t sleep with him.
Let me know what happens, girl. I miss you.
Love, Arabelle.
Once Upon A Kiss: Seventeen Romantic Faerie Tales Page 13
