by Kristi Gold
Once he had the tie undone, he pushed the garment from her shoulders and it fell to the floor in a pool of terry. When he took a long, lingering look over the suit, Kristina felt self-conscious. She tugged the black tank top lower, though it covered her midriff.
Clasping her wrists, Drew prevented her from doing so. “We’ll have none of that, Ms. Simmons. Not until I get a good look at you.”
“It’s nothing special,” she said.
He braced his hands on her hips. “I’d have to disagree. It looks great on you.”
Drew worked his palms beneath the tank’s hem, pausing at Kristina’s rib cage. His hands felt warm against her sides, and she found herself wishing he’d keep going up, up until she saw stars again, this time without the benefit of a night sky.
But he didn’t move his hands. He just kept staring at her with an expression that seemed too serious for the moment.
“What’s wrong?” Kristina asked.
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said. “I didn’t want to make you do something you didn’t want to do. I still don’t.”
She breezed her hands over the spattering of dark hair on his chest, across his flat brown nipples that peaked beneath her palms. “I don’t recall issuing one protest, Mr. Connelly.”
His smile crooked the corners of his magnificent mouth, and his eyes took on a bedroom hue of blue. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I think maybe we should talk.”
“I’m not in the mood to talk.” Kristina draped her arms around his neck and moved flush against him, finding that Drew was very much aroused. So was she. “I stayed awake half the night thinking about us. About how you made me feel.”
“It’s only the beginning, Kristina,” he murmured. “I can make you feel even better.”
As if he intended to keep that sensual promise, Drew walked her backward until she touched the wall.
“I’ve never ached like this before,” she whispered, pushing away the random lock of dark hair from his forehead now covered with a fine sheen of perspiration.
He whisked a kiss over her cheek then swept one below her ear with lips as delicious and inviting as cotton candy. “Any particular place?”
“Several places,” Kristina admitted, her words coming out in a breathy whisper.
Drew slid his hand up under the top to cup her bare breasts in his palms, teasing her nipples with his thumbs. “Here?”
“Yes.”
He trailed one hand down to her abdomen. “How about here?”
“You’re getting warmer.” So was she.
He moved lower until his palm came to rest between her thighs, the place that ached most for his touch. “Here?”
When she considered what was about to happen, Kristina automatically tensed.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, shifting his hand back to her waist.
“No, I— It’s just that I— Amanda might show up.”
“She’s probably still asleep.”
In reality, this had nothing to do with Amanda, and everything to do with Kristina’s concerns about her own inexperience. “No one’s ever— I mean—”
“I know, and I’m not going to hurt you.” He brushed a kiss over her lips. “Relax, Kristina. Let me do this for you.”
She couldn’t relax knowing what Drew had in mind, to satisfy the ache, to touch her in a way no man ever had.
But she melted against Drew when he grazed his tongue across her parted lips then slipped inside her mouth, his fingertips poised beneath the band of the suit’s bottoms. He kissed her deeply while he moved his hand lower, and lower still, balanced on the brink of taking their relationship further into the realm of intimacy.
A child’s shout broke through the sensual fog clouding Kristina’s mind.
Drew took an abrupt step back. “Mandy.”
Without another word, he rushed out the door, not bothering to close it, and dove into the pool.
Kristina straightened her suit and patted her cheeks as if that could really remove the blush she knew still existed.
“Kristina! Drew! We have arrived, dear hearts.”
Lilly.
Oh, heavens. Kristina would have to face not only Mandy but Drew’s grandmother, too. She tried to put on a happy face and meet the challenge head-on, hoping against hope that she could look Lilly in the eye knowing how close Drew had come to showing her pleasure she’d never known before.
Poor Drew, Kristina thought. His problem would definitely be more obvious. She hoped the water was cold enough to tame the serpent.
During his swim, Drew had avoided doing the back-stroke, had definitely avoided looking at Kristina or his grandmother. He hadn’t been able to avoid thinking about what had almost happened. Five more seconds, and he would have been caught giving Kristina what he knew she needed most, what he definitely wanted to provide.
Now, an hour since they’d left the pool, Drew could only think of how easy it would be to join Kristina in the shower for a different kind of water play. But Mandy and his parents and grandfather were still here, along with his grandmother, who was the only one sitting with him in the great room, conducting a serious survey of his face, gearing up to say something that Drew wasn’t sure he wanted to hear.
“We’re heading back to the cottage for the night.”
Of all things, he hadn’t predicted that. “What about the paint fumes?”
Lilly rolled her eyes to the vaulted ceiling. “Oh, good grief. A little paint never hurt anyone. And according to the caretaker, the place is aired out enough for occupants.”
“You’re all welcome to stay if there’s still a problem.” Drew’s offer sounded less than enthusiastic, and rightfully so. He didn’t relish the fact that he couldn’t crawl in bed with Kristina if his family was present. Of course, he still couldn’t do that. Not with Mandy in the house.
“I only foresee one problem,” Lilly said. “And I intend to take care of that.”
Here it comes, Drew thought. “What problem?”
“Yours and Kristina’s privacy. For that reason, we’re going to take Amanda with us.”
Drew came to attention and shifted in his chair. “Does Mandy know this?”
“Of course, dear. I told her that you and Kristina need some time alone, and that she and I would spend the evening at Grant’s computer. She’s more than willing to come along.”
“Grandmother—”
“I promise we’ll avoid the singles’ site. After all, we don’t really need that now, do we?”
That reminded Drew of his most pressing concern. “I still haven’t told Kristina about this whole scheme.”
“Nor should you, dear.”
“Don’t you think she has a right to know?”
“Perhaps on your golden anniversary. By that time she’ll be too tired to issue a protest.”
Drew nixed that idea. Somehow, someway, he had to tell Kristina, before someone else did. “I’m worried Mandy’s going to slip up and say something. I’m surprised she hasn’t already.”
“Let me worry about your daughter, Drew. We have an understanding, and quite frankly, I’m not certain she cares how this whole thing came about. She only knows that her father has found the right mate for him and a mother for her.”
“It’s not that simple, Grandmother.”
“Yes, it is that simple. I know you’ve already opened your eyes and seen what a truly special woman Kristina is. Now you must open your heart and let her inside.”
If only it were that simple, Drew thought. But he couldn’t disregard the extra emotional load he still carried around. Maybe tonight, when they were alone, truly alone, he could find a way to discard some of that burden.
Lilly braced her hand on the cane and stood when Kristina entered the room. “Feel better after your shower, dear?”
Kristina smiled as she ran a brush through her damp hair. “Much better.”
Drew wasn’t feeling better at all. Kristina might not be wearing a swimsuit, but the ankle-length k
nit dress adhered to her breasts and outlined them in great detail. If he didn’t get his eyes off her now, he was going to reveal his biggest problem to his grandmother.
“I’m going to check on Amanda,” Lilly said, making her way toward the stairs. “She’s packing for the trip.”
Kristina stopped brushing her hair midstroke. “Are we going home?” Her voice was laced with disappointment.
Drew rose from the chair and shoved his hands into his pockets in an effort to hide his sins. “No. Amanda’s going to my parents’ lake house with the rest of the family.”
Her eyes reflected awareness. “Then you and I are—”
“Going to stay here.” He walked to her, but didn’t dare touch her. Not now. Not until everyone was safely out of the house and on their way.
“We’ll be alone?” she asked, a slight tremor in her voice.
“Yeah. Alone. No interruptions.”
There’d be nothing to stop Drew from touching her the way he wanted, and damn if he didn’t want that. But first, he had to decide how he was going to tell her the truth. And after he did that, a good chance existed that she wouldn’t want him touching her ever again.
Nine
After having waited for what seemed like a century to get Kristina alone, Drew’s stomach coiled into knots of apprehension. Nothing stood in the way of their privacy. Nothing prevented them from being together in every way. Nothing could stop them from making love. Except for the fact that he hadn’t come clean about his grandmother’s ploy.
He had to tell Kristina the truth. Immediately. Just as soon as she joined him in the great room, where he’d lit the logs in the hearth because during dinner she’d said how romantic that would be. Unfortunately, it was hot as Hades outside, so he’d turned up the air-conditioning, brought out some champagne and waited like a nervous bridegroom for Kristina to make an appearance so he could lower the boom. More like a guillotine, and it seemed dangerously close to his neck.
Still, he had no choice. He’d have to tell her that yeah, his grandmother had thrown them together. No, he hadn’t written the e-mails. No, he hadn’t wanted to go along with the scheme. But since she’d come into his life, things had definitely changed. And did it really matter how their meeting had come about? In the long run, what happened from here on out seemed more important than how they’d arrived at this juncture.
Drew couldn’t deny he wanted to be with her now. Maybe even longer. Forever? He wasn’t sure about that, but he was willing to find out, if she decided to give him a chance after confession time.
He poured himself a glass of champagne and stretched out on his side on the plush, multicolored rug, his feet to the fire. Funny, that was exactly how he felt knowing what he needed to tell Kristina.
The mantel clock counted down the seconds with annoying ticks while Drew tried to mentally rehearse his speech. All he could think about was Kristina, what he wanted to do with her. To her. Although he wore only his pajama bottoms, the heat from the fire was pretty intense. So was the blaze below his belt.
Speaking of heat…
Kristina entered the room wearing the lace gown he’d bought her on his trip to Canada. Sheer lace that left little to his imagination, not that he hadn’t already seen her finest features. But the short black gown did things to her body that could easily give a man a cardiac arrest, even one who happened to be less than thirty years old. His internal thermometer rose to dangerous levels, along with the rest of him. He was suddenly balanced on the boiling point, and it had nothing to do with the burning timber.
Kristina kept her eyes lowered as she approached him, looking more than a little self-conscious. If he were a gentleman, he’d stand and greet her, but he didn’t dare. By doing so, he’d risk exposing the fact that he was already revved up and raring to go.
Talking suddenly seemed less than appealing. Right now all he wanted to do was strip away that gown, take her into his arms, and roll her onto the floor so he could finally get inside her. No, he didn’t want to talk.
“I think we need to talk, Drew.”
Damn. He rose to a sitting position and patted the rug beside him. “Have a seat.”
She came to her knees beside him, palms resting on her lace-covered thighs. Drew wanted to put his hands there, too, and higher.
“The fire’s nice,” she said quietly.
“Yeah. Kind of ridiculous considering the weather, but I guess it does provide a certain ambience.” He nodded toward the coffee table where a silver bucket held the bottle of champagne. “Do you want a glass?”
She shook her head, not yet meeting his eyes. “Maybe later. Once we have something to celebrate.”
Drew got a sneaking suspicion something was wrong. “What’s going on, Kristina?”
She sighed. “I think it’s important that we’re honest with each other, and that’s why I have to tell you what’s on my mind.”
Surely she wasn’t referring to his grandmother’s plan? “Okay. Go ahead.”
She sighed. “Last night I talked to Lilly about a few things.”
Man, she did know. “What exactly did she tell you?”
“Details you’ve managed to avoid since we met.”
The weight lifted from Drew’s chest, replaced by an astounding relief that the truth was finally out in the open, at least most of it, and she was still here with him. “I can’t believe you haven’t walked out the door.”
She laid a hand on his forearm. “Do you think that learning about the circumstances behind your wife’s death would make me up and leave?”
She wanted to talk about Talia? Obviously she still had no idea about the e-mails, but she apparently knew details about his wife’s demise. Leave it to Lilly to protect her own secrets, yet have no qualms about revealing his.
“That’s all in the past, Kristina. I don’t feel like bringing it up tonight.”
“I know you don’t, but I can’t go any further in this relationship until I know I’m not going to continue to compete with your wife’s memory.”
He frowned. “Is that what you think you’ve been doing?”
She raised a fine dark brow. “Isn’t it?”
Drew grabbed a pillow from the sofa and stretched out on his back. He stared at the ceiling, unsure of how much he was willing to reveal. “I don’t know what Lilly told you, but I don’t think you understand everything that went on.”
“Why don’t you make me understand?”
He hated calling up all those bitter memories, hated baring his soul. But Kristina was right, she needed to know about his failures. After learning the details, she probably would pack her bags and catch a ride back into the city. Odd, that was exactly what he’d wanted in the beginning, to drive her away, yet now he despised the prospect that she might be out of his life for good.
At least he wouldn’t have to worry about how this whole relationship had come into play. He wouldn’t have to tell her about the e-mails, or Lilly’s scheming. It wouldn’t matter how they’d come together since more than likely they’d soon be apart. He hated even thinking about that now.
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
“I guess I’d like to know what you loved about her.”
A tough question, one he’d avoided asking himself. “Talia and I were young when we met. You could probably say we started out more in lust than in love.”
“Are you saying you didn’t love her?”
“I loved her for giving me Mandy, but she didn’t love me for that. I got her pregnant and took away her dreams. She couldn’t handle it.”
Drew glanced at Kristina in an attempt to weigh her reaction. He saw no disapproval in her eyes, only concern. “Did she ever ask if you had any objections to pursuing her career after Mandy was born?”
“No, but I didn’t ask. I was too busy with school, working in the family business. Then when Mandy was born, Talia totally withdrew. We didn’t talk much. We stopped making love completely. I kept thinking time would make a difference, tha
t she’d eventually settle in to being a mother. It didn’t happen.”
“She wasn’t a good mother?”
Drew noted the distress in her expression. Kristina had natural maternal instincts. She was a born nurturer, so it would be logical that she might not understand Talia’s problems. “As I said, Talia was very young. She went through the motions of being a mother, caring for Mandy’s basic needs, and I know she really loved her. But the minute I came home, she went to bed, and Mandy was all mine.”
Drew recalled those wonderful nights, remembered the way Mandy smelled after he’d bathed her, her tiny cheek resting against his chest when he’d rocked her to sleep, the silly way he’d talked and her responding baby smiles. Great times, until everything had come apart.
“That must have been a huge burden, caring for a child on top of all your responsibilities,” Kristina said, pulling him from the recollections.
“I didn’t resent it because I loved Mandy. She always seemed glad to see me. I looked forward to coming home for that reason. But I ignored Talia’s depression.”
“Did you find her a doctor?”
“Not at first. Everyone told me, including Talia, that it was just postpartum depression and it would eventually go away. After Mandy was a few months old, Talia didn’t get any better so I insisted she see a psychiatrist, which she did. He put her on antidepressants, but they didn’t do much good. I called him a couple of times, and he told me it would take a while for her to adjust. She never did.”
A long silence followed until Kristina finally said, “Lilly told me she died from a drug overdose.”
“Prescription drugs. It happened before I came home one night.”
Kristina covered her mouth with one hand, but it didn’t stifle the gasp. “You found her?”
“No. Not me.” This was the part he hated most, the very worst moment of his life. “When Talia’s mother couldn’t reach her, or me, she called the neighbors. They called the police. By the time I got home, the paramedics were there, working on her. I found Mandy sitting in the playpen. I could tell she’d been crying for God only knows how long. She was just a baby.”
