“Good to know,” she countered and headed for his bedroom and the massive adjoining bath. “We’ll use your bathroom. I think we’re going to need the space.”
In minutes, they had stripped and were walking into the enormous, connected bathroom. The wall of glass lining one side allowed for a really astonishing view of the moonlight-kissed ocean and the cloud-tossed, starry sky above it.
The tiled floor was heated and felt delicious as she walked unerringly toward the impressive, if a little scary, shower. It was completely made of glass and cantilevered to jut out from the side of the ship, so that she could literally look down at the ocean below while she showered. Naturally, the glass was treated so that the view was definitely only one-way. No one could see in. No one would know anyone was in that shower.
She turned to face Sam as he approached and her stomach jittered with expectation. There were no nerves between them. Only exploration. Mutual desire. Need.
Sam joined her in the middle of the shower, and said aloud, “Shower on.”
Instantly, water, heated to the perfect temperature, erupted from six different showerheads placed at all different angles and heights. Surprised, Mia laughed and swiped wet hair from her face. “A voice-activated shower?”
He grinned at her. “Hands-free, so I can keep busy in other ways.”
There were two dispensers attached to one wall and Sam reached for one of them, squirting body wash into his palm. The hot water pummeled them both as he lathered the soap then ran his hands all over Mia’s body.
Slick. Slick and strong, each stroke of his hands drove her along the path she was so ready for. She rubbed her own palms over her soapy breasts then transferred that soap to Sam’s chest, and smiled to herself when he sucked in a breath. Mia instantly reached for the dispenser herself and when her hands were soapy, she did to him exactly what he was doing to her.
She defined every muscle, every line of his amazing body and felt her eager response to him climb. Her right hand curled around his hard length and began to slide rhythmically. She watched his eyes, heard his tightly controlled groan and smiled to herself again.
The hot water continued to cascade across their skin and as they moved together, bodies skimming against each other, the heat in the shower intensified.
Yet it wasn’t enough.
Sam called out, “Shower off,” and the spray of water instantly stopped.
He picked her up and Mia sighed into his neck before running her lips and tongue along his throat. Her heartbeat thundered and her blood was racing. Sam’s long legs carried them into the bedroom quickly and when he laid her down on the mattress, she reached her arms up for him.
“Just a minute,” he murmured and reached for the bedside drawer. He grabbed a condom and in a second or two had sheathed himself before coming back to her. “We forgot last time,” he whispered, “no sense pushing our luck.”
“Right.” A small curl of disappointment unwound in the pit of her stomach, but when Sam took one of her nipples into his mouth, that feeling was pushed to the back of her mind.
He joined her on the big bed and knelt down before sitting back on his haunches. Mia looked up at him and smiled as he reached for her. Lifting her easily, he settled her on his lap and Mia braced herself on her knees. She ran her hands through his still wet, silky black hair and leaned in to kiss him long and hard, letting her own need guide her.
Why was it that she never seemed to get enough of him? She wanted to keep touching him, to hold him, to have his mouth on hers and his body locked deep within. And on that thought, she rose up on her knees and then slowly lowered herself onto his erection. Inch by tantalizing inch, Mia tortured them both by moving as slowly as she could.
Until finally, Sam muttered thickly, “Enough!” His hands at her hips, he pulled her down hard, pushing himself high inside her.
Mia groaned, let her head fall back and then deliberately swiveled her hips, creating a delicious friction that reverberated all through her. And when she lifted her head to meet his gaze again, she saw fire in Sam’s eyes.
“You recovered from being tired really well.”
“Just what I was thinking about you,” he said and leaned close enough to taste the pulse point at her throat.
Mia shivered and moved on him again. He hissed in a breath and dug his fingers harder into her hips. Guiding her movements, he set the rhythm they danced to and she raced to keep up. Her arms around his neck, she locked her gaze with his and when the first ripples of completion gathered in her like a storm, she welcomed them.
“Let go, Mia,” he crooned. “Just let go.”
“No,” she insisted, her voice broken, halting. “Together. This time we go together.”
“Stubborn woman,” he muttered and made a fast move, flipping her onto the bed and covering her body with his.
He lifted her legs and hooked them on his hips, then leaning over her, he drove into her heat with such a quickness Mia’s breath was lost. Her head tipped back onto the mattress and she stared blindly at the ceiling as he rocked his hips against hers in a frantic rhythm.
Mia felt his body tighten, his muscles flex and she knew that he was as close to shattering as she was. She fixed her gaze on his again and he stared back, just as determinedly.
“Together,” he whispered, through gritted teeth.
“Now,” she countered. “Please, now.”
“Now,” he agreed and stiffened against her as her body splintered around his. They clung to each other like survivors of a shipwreck and when the tremors finally stopped, they collapsed together to ride out the storm.
* * *
Sam threw one arm across his eyes and waited for his heart rate to slow down to less than a gallop. Every time with Mia was like the first time. Every time with her only fed his hunger for more with her.
He dropped his arm away and turned his head to look at her. The satisfied smile on her face made him smile in return, though she couldn’t see him. The woman was a mystery to him in so many ways. Whenever he felt as though he had her completely figured out, she threw another curveball that knocked him off kilter.
Most women he’d known would use those moments after sex to ply him with questions, or prod him to make promises he wasn’t interested in keeping. But not Mia. From the first time they’d been together, she’d simply enjoyed that afterglow and had accepted what they had for what it was.
He was the one who’d proposed, though he knew she wasn’t expecting it. He was the one who had taken that step though he’d known it wouldn’t work out in the end. And now, here she was, forgetting about how he’d blackmailed her to get her into his bed and instead, enjoying this time together for however long it lasted.
“You’re staring,” she murmured.
“Guess I am,” Sam admitted and she finally turned her head to look at him. Her mouth curved and her eyes shone as her red hair spilled across the white pillowcase. His heart fisted as he watched her. “You’re beautiful, Mia.”
She blinked and he could see she was surprised at the comment. Had he not told her before? Had he kept that to himself even when she took his breath away? Was it so hard for him to give a compliment?
“Okay, now you’re scowling. What’s going on, Sam?”
“Good question.” He wasn’t sure and he didn’t like the feeling at all. Indecision was a foreign concept to him. And it made him uncomfortable enough that he shifted the conversation to her rather than him. Staring into her eyes, he blurted out, “I’m curious. Why’d you want the divorce in the first place?”
“What?”
“You heard me.” He went up on one elbow. “I didn’t get it then—oh, I wasn’t surprised by it, but I didn’t understand your reasoning for it and I still don’t. We almost never argued. The sex was great. So what was the problem?”
Shaking her head, she turned on her side and propped h
erself up. “Let me answer that with a question. Do you remember my grandparents’ sixtieth anniversary party?”
Thinking about that, he had to frown. “No, I don’t.”
“Yeah, that’s because you didn’t go.” She pushed her hair back from her face. “You promised me that you’d be there, but at the last minute, you ‘had’ to fly to Florida for a meeting with Michael.”
Sam’s frown deepened. He remembered that now. The truth was, even after they’d gotten married, he’d focused on the company because he’d known even then that the business was all he could really count on. His marriage would end, eventually. But Buchanan Cruises would be there forever—as long as he was a good custodian. “Sometimes business has to come first.”
“Uh-huh,” she said. “But the party’s only one example of you disappearing without thinking about how it affected me.” She shrugged, but Sam could see she wasn’t taking this conversation as lightly as she was pretending to.
Then she was talking again. “You could have taken a later flight, but that didn’t occur to you.”
“Mia, I have a company to take care of.”
“You had a marriage to take care of, too,” she reminded him. “You were always so busy, Sam. If we had dinner plans, it was because you had decided that we could be together. When I decided I wanted to buy myself a car—suddenly one was in the driveway.”
He remembered that. Sam had bought her a fire-engine red SUV because it was the safest car on the market. “That was a good car.”
“It was the car you thought I should have. Even though you knew that I’d already decided to get myself a VW.”
“The SUV was safer.”
“And not what I wanted,” she countered, shaking her head. “You never listened. You simply pushed your way down my throat, expecting me to roll along.”
Sam decided he really didn’t care for this conversation.
“My fault too,” she added quickly, “because I did roll along. For a while. But being in love with you didn’t mean I stopped having a mind of my own. Honestly, I think the real problem was that you never learned to bend. To give a little. Basically, Sam, I got tired of being all alone in our marriage. It’s hard to be the one always giving and getting nothing in return.”
He could see that and he didn’t like having to admit that she was right.
“And I wanted kids, Sam,” she said softly, her gaze locked on his. “I wanted a family with you—and you didn’t.”
It wasn’t so much what she said as her expression when she said it. Sam could see the shadows of old pain in her eyes and knew that it hadn’t been any easier for her to say all of this than it had been for him to hear it. He wanted to defend himself, damn it. He wanted to say that he’d known that he would be a lousy husband. That marriage to him was a losing bet right from the start. But that he’d married her anyway because he’d loved her.
He didn’t say any of it though, because it felt to Sam as if he were trying to make excuses and he didn’t do that. Ever. He took responsibility for his actions. Which was why he’d agreed to the divorce when she’d first broached the subject.
He’d failed. Not something he did often. Not something he really ever admitted to. Not something he was proud of. But his mistake—his duty to fix it.
“I’m not saying any of this to make you feel bad, Sam,” she said and reached out to lay her hand on his forearm.
He felt that soft, warm touch right down to his bones.
“I accepted that our marriage was over months ago and started making plans for my future.” She smiled. “I’m not broken anymore.”
Broken.
He hated the sound of that. She was so strong, so confident, he’d never even considered that he might have the power to break Mia Harper. Knowing he had was like a knife to the heart.
The darkness of the bedroom was only relieved by the moonlight beyond the glass wall. And in that pale wash of light, her eyes were shadowed and almost impossible to read. Maybe, he told himself, that was a good thing.
When they returned to Long Beach, he’d be signing those papers, as promised. The two of them would no longer be linked, in any way. She had plans, as she’d said many times, for her future, plans that didn’t include him.
Suddenly, he wanted to know what they were.
“You keep talking about your plans,” he said, initiating an abrupt change of subject. “What are they?”
“Why do you want to know?” she asked, honestly curious.
“So, when I do take an interest and ask a question, you’re not happy?”
“Fair point,” she said and he saw the quick flash of a smile. “Okay. If you really want to know. I need you to sign those divorce papers soon because I have an appointment to keep on January twenty-fifth.”
Now he was more curious than ever. “What kind of appointment?”
“At a sperm bank. I’m going to be a mother just as soon as I can arrange it.”
Whatever he’d been expecting, that wasn’t it. He was stunned. Okay, yes, he knew she wanted kids, but to do it on her own? Be impregnated by a stranger?
“Why?” he asked and sat up, drawing up one knee and resting his forearm on it. “Why would you do that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” she countered and sat up to face him. Both of them naked and not caring, they glared at each other for a long minute before Mia started talking again. “I wanted kids with you, but you shot that down.”
All right, there was still some guilt left there. He lifted one hand and nodded. “I know. I should have told you where I stood before we married. It’s not that I don’t like kids. Your sister’s boys are great. It’s just that I’d be no better at being a father than I was at being a husband.”
“That’s crazy. You were great with the kids tonight.”
“For three hours,” he pointed out. “They weren’t my kids.”
“No, they weren’t,” she said. “And as much as I love them, they’re not mine, either. And I want my own children, Sam. Why should I wait to try to find someone else to love?”
He didn’t like the sound of that, either. “What’s the big rush?”
“I’m thirty years old and I don’t want to wait until I’m forty to get started. That’s okay for some women, but not for me.” Shaking her head, she lifted her chin, took a deep breath and said, “That’s why I’m taking my future into my own hands.”
“To get pregnant by a nameless guy who left a sample in a cup.” He couldn’t believe this. “Doing this alone, Mia? Not exactly easy.”
“Nothing worthwhile is easy,” she said and shrugged. “And I won’t be completely alone. I’ll have my family. They’re all behind me on this.”
He knew she was right there. The Harper family would circle the wagons to protect and help one of their own and just briefly, he wondered what that must feel like. To be able to count on people.
“Yeah. You said children. You’re going to do this more than once?”
“Hopefully. I’ve always wanted three kids.”
Stunned, he asked, “Have you always wanted to do it alone?”
“Of course not. I wanted to do it with my husband.”
He gritted his teeth to keep from saying the wrong thing.
“But the fact that I am alone isn’t going to stop me.”
His brain was buzzing with too many thoughts at once. He didn’t even know what to say to all of this. Imagining Mia pregnant with another man’s child hit him hard, leaving behind an ache in his heart and a knot in his gut. But surely insemination was easier to consider than picturing Mia naked in some other man’s bed.
He shouldn’t care, either way. He knew that. They weren’t a couple anymore and really—they never had been. They were married, but they weren’t a unit. They lived together but led separate lives. So why the hell was this bugging him so much?
Sam climbed off the bed and stalked across the room to the balcony doors. Tossing them open, he let the cold wind rush into the room. Instantly, Mia yelped and he glanced over his shoulder to see her grab the quilt off the bed and wrap it around her. She clutched it to her chest as she walked toward him. The wind lifted her hair and drifted her scent to him and that did nothing to ease his mind.
“Why is this bothering you so much?”
He pushed one hand through his hair, then scrubbed that hand across his face. “I don’t know.”
“Geez. Good answer.”
“What do you want from me, Mia?”
“Just what I’ve always wanted from you, Sam. Honesty.”
“You want honest? Okay, how’s this?” This idea had just occurred to him a moment ago and now he found himself blurting it out.
“When we had sex the night of the storm, we didn’t use a condom. Were you hoping you’d get pregnant then?” He kept his gaze fixed on hers and waited for the answer.
“Of course not.” Her eyes went wide and in the moonlight, the insult stamped on her features was easy to read. “I wasn’t thinking about protection any more than you were.”
She had him there. That first night with her after months apart, a condom was the last thing on his mind. He’d been desperate to have her and he hadn’t been capable of rational thought at all.
Still... “Okay, I grant you that. But you wouldn’t have minded if you did get pregnant.”
“You say that like it’s some great shock to you. I’ve already taken steps to start my own family and that’s why you signing those papers is so important. I don’t want any custody questions later. But if I had gotten pregnant that night—no. I wouldn’t have minded. Why would I mind getting pregnant by my husband?”
“And yet you keep saying we’re not married.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Sam. I want kids. You know that. If I got pregnant the other night, of course I wouldn’t care. But I also wouldn’t have expected anything from you.”
“Meaning...”
“Meaning,” she said, “I would sign whatever you wanted, releasing you from child support or any other connection to my baby.”
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