by Layna Snow
“Whose?” Thane asked, voice rising, too hard, too sharp.
“It has to be one of yours.” She signed quickly, which Em translated.
“Well, it sure as fuck can’t be ours! We don’t have that kind of stuff in our balls! Who the fuck have you been sleeping around with. You’ve been here for a couple months! Was it so easy to just forget us? You just found someone to replace us? Or more than one someone. Shit! We came here to try and get you back but you’ve already found another penis to your liking!” Sin hissed.
Gosh! Did he have to be so crude? But she could tell that he was hurting. The tone in his voice—and Thane’s destroyed expression—was painful to take.
She didn’t want to hurt them! She didn’t want to make them mad, or crush their feelings. Shoot, it made her miserable to know that she put that look on their faces, that pain in their hearts. She loved them!
Her throat hurt and her eyes stung, but she tried to hold back the tears as she shook her head.
“There is no one else! There hasn’t been anyone! I don’t know how it happened, but the baby has to be one of yours!”
She might not want to be with them, but she had to make them understand. She wouldn’t do something so horrible!
Sin snorted after Emily translated. “And why should we believe you? The evidence is pretty damning isn’t it?”
“Because I love you both! I couldn’t be with someone else! You came here, remember! I didn’t go asking for anything! You told me that I was replaceable. I don’t want anything from you. Why would I lie? Just…” She started, but had to wipe her eyes. Gosh, now she was crying and it wasn’t a good look for her! It certainly wasn’t a very respectable ending! “Just leave me alone!”
And before she could hear her words come out of anyone else’s mouth, she ran.
She ran blindly, not even sure where she would go. All she knew was that she couldn’t look at them anymore.
She couldn’t stay in the middle of town and have her honesty questioned and her heart ripped out. She needed something, anything but that.
If only Annie were here!
31
The sky was darkening and Sophie knew that she had to get home.
She couldn’t just avoid her problems. She couldn’t keep running away. Sophie knew that the time had come to face the music.
It had been hours since she had left the guys in the middle of town. Hours that she had spent in the cemetery.
She hadn’t been able to talk to her sister, but hoped that Annie could hear her, nonetheless. After pouring her thoughts and worries to her sister, Sophie had hoped that she’d get some type of sign. But she hadn’t.
The grounds were as still as ever. No one else visited their loved ones. No one was currently tending to the graves. It was just her, alone to weep and beg for her twin to do something to show that she was alright. That Sophie would be alright too.
It wasn’t fair!
She shouldn’t have to lose her twin sister this young! She shouldn’t have to go on without that one being who had always known her, had always been there! She shouldn’t be pregnant and alone, after having her heart ripped from her chest! And she shouldn’t be in love with two wonderful, imperfect, aggravating men!
And it wasn’t like in the movies where she could call up her mother for some words of advice, or crash on her best friend’s couch until the tears dried up and they were full on ice cream. The only person in the world who she could rely on was gone forever!
It was one of the reasons, she had to admit to herself now, that she had left Hell in the first place. She needed to talk to someone, to get her thoughts and feelings straight. She had freaked out when her emotions got too overwhelming.
She knew that she was being unrealistic with her expectations.
But when she came back, expecting to talk to her sister about the issue, to get advice, Annie was gone. She wanted to talk to Brooke, but the woman was ignoring her. The only person who seemed to want to know what was happening in her life was Emily. And Sophie hadn’t felt comfortable revealing everything that happened in Hell.
It was bad enough that she had to go over some of it with Melody, Seth, and Caleb! But she hadn’t mentioned Adrian and Thane!
And now, the boys were in town, wanting to talk. So Sophie went to the only place she could still find peace.
Getting a cab hadn’t been difficult. Getting one who would drive her all the way back to Cold Wood had. But she was here now.
She had to own up to her own thoughts and feelings and hope that the guys would do the same.
Only truth would set things straight.
Sophie sighed as her cab pulled into her driveway. Her house wasn’t right in town, it was a bit secluded, trees standing intimidatingly around the property. It was a joy to grow up there, but now, it looked ominous in the setting sun.
She paid the driver and stepped out into the cool air.
She was reluctant to go into her house. She didn’t really want to be alone anymore, but she didn’t know what other options she had.
The night was abnormally chilly, and Sophie wrapped her arms around herself as she strode to the door.
It wasn’t her house. It was her parent’s house. She knew that she’d need to move soon. She really didn’t have a choice. Just the other day her mother had mentioned the fact that they were putting the house up for sale. They wanted to stay in Barrie and didn’t need to keep this one.
It was just another thing in her life taken away from her.
For one of the last times, Sophie unlocked and opened the door. It was nice to be home, to feel the warmth of the air rushing at her again.
Home was a comforting word, a place full of love. A place where you could be yourself without fearing judgement. It was a place to relax and put your feet up. But this wasn’t going to be her home anymore.
Sophie dropped her purse blindly on the chair beside the door and turned to switch on the light.
She was almost there when a strong arm wrapped around her hips, another coming around her chest. She would have screamed, but nothing came out but air.
Oh gosh! The Alliance! Are they here?
Her mind spun horrible tales of everything that could happen. She knew at the time that she shouldn’t have contacted them! She knew what could happen. Had been a part of it already. Just the memory caused the scar on her chest to throb.
The Alliance wouldn’t stop. They never stopped! They had sent someone to investigate already!
The hard band-like arms around her held her arms to her body, not allowing her to move, and pulled her back against a strong body. A body that she knew well.
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” Adrian’s voice came from behind her, a purr of pleasure.
We’d stop meeting like this if you’d stop grabbing me from behind. She thought sarcastically. As if you don’t like it! A sinister part of her responded.
“As long as it has been since I’ve been in you, you’re lucky that I’m not stripping you naked and finger-fucking you on the table. But Thane says that we need to talk, yeah? We’ll sex later. And you better make it worth the wait!” He continued, pulling her closer so that she could feel the ridge against her bum.
A responding ache started up in her body.
“Do you like that idea? I can smell your heat already. You better go sit with Thane before this all gets out of control!
A click brought them around, to Thane sitting on her comfy brown couch, her vintage lamp switched on beside him.
He looked so good sitting there, sinking into the cushions. His skin glowed warmly, his eyes sparkling in the dim light.
As he held out his hand to her, she was helpless but to go to him.
Automatically, Thane swept her into his lap and cuddled her close. It was so amazing to be back in his arms, to feel his warmth sink into her bones, to feel safe again. It was something that only the guys could give her, and these months had been so difficult without it.
“So, we
will talk about the baby stuff later. Yes, we believe you. But it wouldn’t matter. For now, we need to chat about other stuff.” Adrian said, coming closer and handing her the tablet that she had recently bought. There was a program on it for mute people which spoke out what she typed.
It was a little difficult to use the tablet when Thanatos was holding her so tightly, but she opened the program and looked at Sin, wondering what he would say. He looked wound up, pacing her floor as if something was eating him up inside. She wanted to tell him to sit down, but she knew that he wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry to tell you, hot-stuff, but someone broke into your house.” Sin’s words were hard, fast, and at first Sophie thought that she was talking about them, but Sin looked too keyed up to be joking.
“What? How do you know?” She typed in her text-to-voice program. As the feminine computerized voice spoke, she tried to stand up, tried to look around. She needed to see what happened, but Thane held her securely in his arms.
“We noticed the back door open. It was how we got in, but the lock is broken. There is a mess everywhere, including your bedroom. There is also a painted message for you.” His words hit her in the stomach.
Someone broke into her home? Someone ruined her things? Someone wrote something? It was almost unbelievable. Why would someone do that?
It was so personal, so threatening. Now she understood just how upsetting the attack against Mel, Cay, and Seth had been. How violated they must have felt.
“What was the message?” She typed, needing to know. Was it a threat?
It sounded just like the message that Melody, Caleb, and Seth found last year.
But Tim had died. It couldn’t be him!
Sin sighed and turned to face her, his expression holding both anger and concern. “It says ‘You’re not wanted here.’.”
What the heck? It felt like a stab, like a knife twisting in her heart.
She always tried to help people around the community. She was always nice to everyone. Sophie couldn’t imagine why someone would want her to leave so badly that they would vandalize her house, or her car. How could someone do that?
And what was she going to do about it?
“Sorry.” Thane’s deep voice was a balm to her soul, but she still ached.
Sitting on his lap felt more like home than this house, but she knew that it might be temporary. They hadn’t decided anything yet. They hadn’t talked about their problems.
“Phie, maybe you should come with us. We can leave tonight. I don’t like you here, when you’re being threatened.” He sounded so concerned, and she wanted to just believe it, but how could she? After the argument that they had before she left Hell, it was difficult to trust.
“I don’t know.” She typed, too much hope and worry to say no right away.
“Look, I know that you want to stay with your sister, Annie, but we can take her too. Heck, if she’s as sassy as you we’d gladly bring her along.” His words tore at her once more. Not just a reminder of all that she had lost, but it also told Sophie that maybe they weren’t happy with just her.
“She didn’t make it. She died before I came back.” She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to cry again so soon.
Sin looked struck. But he couldn’t have been half as shocked as she felt when heard the news.
Thane learned forward, nuzzling her head. “Sorry.” He whispered, his voice sounding thick with emotion.
Their show of emotion on her behalf was staggering. It was humbling. It made her wonder if maybe she had misunderstood them.
Maybe they did care about her for more than her body. Maybe they had wanted to be with her.
Sophie knew that she could have stepped back, could have talked to them about everything, but it was too much, too overwhelming at the time. They hadn’t known each other long. They didn’t know much about each other. All she knew were the words that Sin harshly spat out, and Thane’s silence.
But maybe it was better to talk about them, rather than this disastrous day.
“Why are you here?” She asked them, holding her breath.
This was important. More important than she had thought possible. If only they cared about her. If only they wanted her. Then maybe she could ignore all the hate, all the loss. If only she had this one thing.
Sophie knew that she was putting a lot of pressure on them, whether they knew it or not. It wasn’t fair. They were only people, and could not be held responsible for her happiness, but she just needed one win.
“You,” Thane’s growly voice soaked into her, like his heat, warming something cold in her chest.
Sin stopped pacing, and looked at Sophie with confusion. “Why else?”
Sophie shrugged. She wanted to take it at that, but she needed more. She wouldn’t settle for less than she deserved. Not this time.
“But why?” The voice wasn’t hers. It would never be, but she was glad that it didn’t break with emotion, it didn’t come out as a sob. It was electronic, foreign, and for once she was glad for it.
“Because you’re ours! You can’t just leave!” Sin growled out, and it popped the bubble of hope in her chest.
“I am not an object. I am allowed to leave. I am allowed to have what I want.”
Sin rolled his eyes, and ran his hand through his hair, leaving it artfully messy. Sophie yearned to touch it. To touch him. She wanted the connection, even though she was angry at him. “Sure, yeah. I get it. But you didn’t even talk to us. You didn’t tell us what you wanted.”
She wanted to yell at him, wanted to deny his words, but he was right. She did run. It sort of humbled her. But she couldn’t ignore her needs.
“Like you would have listened? You do what you want. Don’t pretend.”
Thane chuckled behind her, the vibrations moving straight to her crotch. Did he find it funny that she fought with Sin? He was probably used to doing the same.
“True… but you didn’t give me a chance! No, I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not. I wouldn’t ask you to be more outgoing, to go out partying. But I will do whatever it takes to get what I want.” Maybe he wouldn’t ask her to change. Maybe she shouldn’t ask him to either. But that didn’t mean that they could make a relationship work.
“And you want my body.” She knew that that was what he liked most, it was all he had talked about since they met, but she was more than a body.
She wanted to be accepted for her whole being, not just one part.
“Well, yeah!” Every time her brain tried to tell her that there was something between them, his words shot her down again. “But I like other things about you too. If it was just your body, then I could find another similar. I could find someone else. Why would I track you down for something so basic? I mean, amazing, but I have sex all the time. I don’t ever chase anyone.”
Maybe he wasn’t being cruel because of his ego. Maybe he, too, wanted to be desired completely and thoroughly. Maybe he had been just as insecure and scared as she was.
When she didn’t respond, Sin sat on the table in front of her, leaning towards her. “I know I suck. I don’t talk about feelings. I don’t tell you that your brain is as big as your tits, or that I like your personality as much as your sweet body. I need my ass kicked sometimes. I do care about you, and as much as I want to tie you to a bed and keep you there forever, Death reminded me that you deserve a choice. Do you want to safe-word out, or are you going to let us take care of you? I’ll follow Dom rules this time! Put your needs and safety first.”
That was the question. He had brought up some valid points. He explained so much. He had opened up a part of himself that she didn’t know was there.
But it didn’t take away the issues either.
“This wasn’t a miscommunication, Adrian. You were cruel, you hurt me emotionally. I need more.” She did want to try. She did want to see where this went. She wanted more of them, of how they made her feel, but she needed forever.
She needed stability now that
she had a baby to think about.
But she didn’t know them well enough. She didn’t know herself well enough.
“What do you want? What do you need?” Sin took her hands in his. “I’m sorry that I didn’t give you a safe-word last time. I’m sorry that I was mean, and took things too far. That’s not what BDSM is about and I let my emotions get the better of me. A Dom’s job is to be fully in tuned with what their sub needs that so that they can provide it. I did a shitty job, but I’ll try to be better. I’ll be an open book!”
“Just ask. We will answer.” Thane told her.
Did they really mean that?
Would Thane really answer anything? There was so much about them that she wanted to know! What was it like to be a Warrior Angel? What things had Thane saw? And what was it like to Fall? Sin had mentioned that it had been traumatic for Thane, but what really happened?
She wanted to know everything!
But she didn’t know where to start.
Sophie took a breath and let it out slowly. If they were willing to try. If they were willing to make this work than she would have to be too.
Maybe they wouldn’t have forever. Maybe it wouldn’t be a long term thing but she was going to give them a chance. And then, before the baby was born, she’d have to make a decision.
“I have one more question. This baby doesn’t mean that you can’t have sex, right?”
Sophie laughed silently. Leave it to Sin to focus on the carnal matter.
32
“Yes we can, but I’m too tired. Can we just go to sleep?” Sophie asked and Thanatos realized that they needed to take care of their sub. It was not enough to explain the main points of BDSM, they had to show her as well.
He had always believed that actions were more important than words.
“I guess” Adrian responded, adding a pouty sound to his voice.
He understood how the man felt. Not only was there a sexual component, there was an intimacy that cemented their relationship. He wanted the closeness after the argument.
Just holding her was a relief. He liked her weight in his arms, the warmth and the softness against his skin. He liked knowing that she wanted to be there, and he would enjoy being closer.
