Blaze of Memory

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Blaze of Memory Page 21

by Singh, Nalini


  When Dev pushed to his knees, she couldn’t help her sharp cry of disappointment. He pressed a hand to her chest. “Wait.” And then he was getting off the bed and heading to the living area.

  Tempting as it was to go after him, she obeyed the order. It was another fence, another line of control. The psychologists would have a field day with her, she thought, but if this helped her cope with normality, then who were they to judge? None of them had spent endless mindless hours floating in the dark, unable even to sense their own skin, their own fingers, their own face. It had been like she was dead—alone in a cold, indifferent universe.

  “So many thoughts,” Dev murmured, walking back into the room with her scarf taut in his hands, the ends wrapped around his fists. “I can hear you thinking. It’s like a little knocking at the back of my head.”

  Her eyes tracked him as he moved across the room with lazy confidence, her toes curling into the comforter. “Do you mind?”

  “No.” The bed dipped as he got on the bed, prowling up over her body. “What were you thinking?”

  “That this need I have, this need for boundaries,” she whispered, “it doesn’t cripple me. I escaped you, after all.”

  A little smile that suggested all sorts of wickedness. “Did I punish you for that yet?”

  “Dev.” He was teasing her again, and this man . . . God, he was pure addiction.

  Taking her wrists in his hands, he raised them above her head. “No, you aren’t crippled. You’ve just found a way to deal.”

  She met his eyes. “Does it bother you?”

  He wrapped the scarf around her wrists, pulling it tight enough that she could feel the delicious pressure against her skin, then tied the ends around the bars in the headboard. “In case you haven’t noticed,” he murmured, even as his fingers undid the buttons on her shirt one by one, “I like being in control.” One big hand closed possessively over the bare roundness of her breast.

  “Dev!”

  He stroked and squeezed her with leisurely focus, kissing her each time she tried to hurry him. Sweat began to sheen her body and he hadn’t even gone past her breasts. “You’ll drive me to insanity,” she accused.

  “I promise to make it good.” A slow smile as he began to kiss his way down the centerline of her chest, pausing to torment her breasts with little bites that had her arching her body upward in silent entreaty.

  When he refused to comply, she bombarded him with telepathic requests laced with the fever of her hunger. His eyes glittered. “Playing dirty, baby?”

  It was, she realized, the first time he’d ever used an endearment. Something shifted inside her, but she didn’t know what it was, didn’t understand why her heart beat with a sudden painful ache. “I say anything’s fair in bed.”

  “Remember, you said it.” He continued his downward journey, pressing kisses over the dip of her stomach, the curve of her navel.

  Her eyes widened as she realized what he planned to do. “Why?” she asked, her voice coming out throaty.

  “Why what?” A flick of his tongue along the sensitive skin just below her navel.

  She had to take several deep breaths before she could answer. “Why would you do such a thing? What pleasure does it give you?”

  Dark eyes meeting her own. “Don’t you want to lick me, Katya?”

  The image made her nerve endings explode. All at once, it was the only thing she could think about. “Let me try and see.”

  He chuckled. “Nice try, but I get to go first.” Strong hands on the tops of her thighs, pushing her legs apart.

  The unadulterated intimacy of it rocked her.

  She was so primed that she could feel every square inch of her skin, every brush of his breath against her. Never had she felt more real, more alive. “Dev.” It was a whisper, a plea, a demand.

  The stroke of his thumb against the ultrasensitive skin of her inner thigh. She was still trying to soak it all in when he dipped his head and gave her the most intimate caress of all. The scream tore out of her on a ragged note, and she found herself gripping the scarf to keep herself from jerking out of bed.

  Not that he would have let her go.

  Strong hands kept her in place as her body tried to escape the overload of sensation—and get closer at the same time. Lights flickered behind her eyes, and she thought surely, surely, something of this would leak into the Net. But she couldn’t think about that, could only drown under the waves of pleasure.

  The graze of teeth.

  Her entire body froze in an almost painful arch. And then she fractured ... into a million brilliant sparks. The tremors spread outward from within her center, rippling through her like living fire. She was sobbing with the exquisite ache of it by the time she came down.

  “Shh.” Dev made his way back up her body, gentling her with a kiss that was as possessive as the hand on her breast. “You’re so damn beautiful, Katya.”

  Somehow, she found a speck of sense. “Not too bony?”

  He squeezed her breast. “Not where it counts. And we can work on the rest.”

  “I’m going to hit you for that,” she threatened. “As soon as I get my breath back.”

  His smile was male and satisfied and unbelievably gorgeous. “Then I should make sure you never do.” This time, his kiss was leisurely, but so hungry she gasped into his mouth, wanting only to give him everything and anything he wanted.

  His hand slipped down, over her ribs, to the curve of her waist. “How are your shields?”

  “Impenetrable.” She laughed and it came from the soul. “The bastard locked me in, but I bet he never realized he was giving me carte blanche to do whatever I wanted.”

  Devraj heard the laugh, but he also sensed the pain behind the laughter. It tore at the masculine heart of him to know that he’d never be able to wipe the memories of devastation from her mind. But there was also a fierce sense of pride. “You beat him once. You’ll do it again.”

  Those huge hazel eyes widened. “That sounds like an order.”

  “Don’t forget it.” He stroked up to graze his thumb over her nipple. When she took a whispery breath, the angry protectiveness in him calmed. He hadn’t been able to help her then, but he damn well would protect her now. No matter what. “So, where were we?”

  “My hands,” she said, lifting her mouth to his. “I want to touch you.”

  He nibbled on her lips. “Hmm.”

  “Dev.”

  Smiling at that tart feminine demand, he reached up and undid the soft bonds. Her hands immediately went to his shoulders, stroking and shaping. It was obvious she liked his body, and he was male enough to preen under the attention. Dipping his head, he kissed her with playful little nips and bites as she took her time learning him.

  Of course, his cock had other ideas. He was so fucking aroused it was a wonder he could form a sentence. When Katya’s wandering hands moved over his chest, threatening to skim downward, he stopped her. “Not this time.” Pressing into her, he reached between their bodies to part her curls.

  She made an intrinsically feminine sound of delight, and that, coupled with the damp heat of her, was his undoing. He knew he must have risen to get rid of his pants and underwear, but he had no memory of it. She was wet and slick and wild under his fingers when he next blinked, and his control was beyond ragged.

  Sliding a hand under one of her thighs, he urged her to lock her legs behind his body. She followed his lead with an enthusiasm that made sweat bead along his spine, his cock pounding in time with every thudding beat of his heart. Bracing himself on one elbow, he guided himself inside her... and had to grit his teeth from swearing a blue streak as she clenched around the blunt tip of his erection, a hot, wet glove that was such an absolute fit he thought he might pass out from the pleasure of it.

  “Dev!” Fingernails dug into his back as he pushed in, trying for slow but knowing he wasn’t going to last. “Oh, God, more, please.”

  It was all the invitation his body needed. Control shattering, he
thrust into her deep, so deep, catching her cry with his mouth. For an instant, he thought he might have gone too far, remembering too late that she’d never done this before, but then she tightened her grip on him and rolled her hips in sweet feminine welcome.

  “Katya,” he said against her ear, trying to draw breath, to not lose himself completely.

  Her fingers thrust into his hair. “You feel so good.”

  The simple statement, made in that erotically husky voice, stole what small fragments of control he’d had left. Putting one hand on her hip, he pinned her in place as he began to stroke in and out in a hard, steady rhythm that had her clawing at him.

  He didn’t last long. But it was alright, his hazed brain told him. Because she shattered under him even as pleasure swept over his skin in a scorching wave. For an instant, he felt a strange pull, as if something was stretched taut inside him, but then the sensation just ended, as if it had been summarily cut off. He didn’t have time to consider the odd feeling, because his entire body exploded at that very instant, every nerve and tendon taut with ecstasy.

  EARTHTWO COMMAND LOG: COMMUNIQUÉ TO SUNSHINE STATION

  18 September 2080: Your status has been noted. A supervisory team will be flying out on the 28th to make the decision as to any possible evacuation. Continue operations as per original instructions until then.

  CHAPTER 37

  “Dev?” Katya bit lightly at the ear of the man who was crushing her to the bed, his solid male body a perfect, wonderful blanket. Who needed to breathe? “Dev?”

  This time, she got a grunt.

  Smiling, she pressed her lips to his jaw, loving the roughness under her lips. “I like sex.”

  She saw the edge of a smile, and it made her own lips curve. “I really like it.” Rubbing her heel over the back of his leg, she ran her hand down his muscled arm, wanting only to touch him. “When can we do it again?”

  He sounded like he was choking as he said, “You’re not acting like a Psy.”

  “Maybe if they tried sex with you, the others would change their minds, too.” She scowled. “Dev?”

  “I know, you like sex. Gimme a couple of minutes.” It was a laughing complaint.

  “No.” She drew the sweat and man scent of him into her lungs, luxuriating in the sensations. “Are you planning on having sex with someone else?”

  He pinched her nipple hard enough to make her jump. “That’s what you get for asking silly questions.”

  A slow smile spread across her face. “That hurt.”

  “You’re just asking for trouble.”

  “Am I going to get it?” She bit his ear again.

  His hand curved around her breast. “Keep that up and you’re not going to get any sleep tonight.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  Groaning, he rose up on his forearms. “No more sex for you. We shower off the sweat, and then we catch some sleep. We need to be ready to head out at dawn.”

  She reached up to press kisses along his chest, cradling his growing arousal against her lower abdomen. Swearing, he let her play, but only for a minute. “Shower.” And this time, he wasn’t budging. She found herself being thrust into a fast, hot shower, and then tumbled into bed.

  “Sleep.” It was an order in her ear as his body closed around hers, protective, and yes, very definitely possessive—the thigh he pushed between her own ensured she wouldn’t be going anywhere without him.

  For the first time, her compulsion to go north wasn’t the overwhelming thought in her mind. And though the heat between them burned white-hot, that wasn’t at the forefront either. No, it was the tenderness of the kiss Dev pressed to the curve of her neck, the intensity of his hold. He was, she realized, looking after her.

  It was an odd feeling, one that swept warmth through her limbs, turning them heavy. But she found the will to untangle their legs and turn so she could tuck her head under his chin and place her hand over his heart. He thrust his thigh back between hers the next instant. Smiling, she snuggled close. Her sleep was soft, dreamless, peaceful.

  Six hours later, the precious interlude was a thing of distant memory. The car was warm, but Katya huddled into her jacket as Dev drove them out of the lodge with grim determination. The dread he’d silenced with the protective warmth of his embrace had a clawhold on her heart once again. She didn’t know if it was because of what she’d sensed, what she was leading them toward... or because of her terror that the compulsion was born of nothing, her mind a place of nightmares and lies.

  “Don’t think about it.” A cool order from the director of Shine.

  His strength fed her own. “It’s hard not to,” she said. “I can feel something calling to me, but I know I’ve never been in this area before.”

  “Is it possible you were held around here?”

  “I suppose. But... I feel no sense of familiarity with anything.” The snowy fields passing by on either side as they drove ever deeper into largely uninhabited territory sent a chill down her spine, but not because of any memory of torture.

  The world on the other side of the window was actually rather beautiful, the snow glittering with diamond shards under the morning sun, the sky a placid blue that should’ve made evil impossible. But—“In my mind,” she whispered, “everything’s swathed in shadows.”

  The cold, clear-eyed soldier in Dev told him to turn back, that Katya was most likely leading him into a trap, but he kept driving. Today, he was going to follow the gut instinct that had saved his life more times than he could count. This woman—his woman—needed this, and he would give it to her.

  “Tell me something,” he said when she fell silent, her eyes locked on the outer vista.

  She started, as if he’d broken into a trance. “What?”

  “You mentioned your parents—any memories you want to share?” He just wanted to get her thinking about something other than the darkness coming inexorably closer. It wouldn’t take long, he thought. They’d reach their goal either tonight or early the next morning.

  “Well,” she said after a long pause, “since my parents had a full coparenting agreement, we all lived together in a family unit. They always consulted each other before making any decision about my welfare.”

  “Doesn’t sound too bad.” It was, in fact, far better than he’d expected.

  “No. It was a good existence.” Folding her arms, she tilted her head to face him. “But it was simply an existence. When I turned eighteen and moved out, there was no difference in my life other than the fact that I could make decisions on my own from then on.”

  “I thought Psy were pretty strong on family loyalty.”

  “Yes, but it’s a cold kind of loyalty. A month after I reached my majority, my parents—who’d ceased living together the day I turned eighteen—dissolved their coparenting agreement, and my memories tell me that I never knew them to speak to each other again.” She shrugged. “They’d achieved their aims, fulfilled their contracts. I have connections to both families, of course, but when I turned twenty-one, I had to choose.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Psy only trust loyalty that is absolute,” she said. “I had to formally identify with either the maternal or the paternal side of my family.”

  “Which did you choose?” Dev asked, fascinated by this glimpse into the forces that had shaped the woman by his side.

  “The paternal,” she answered. “My father’s family is involved in scientific endeavors, while my mother’s is more focused on economics. It made sense for me to align myself with the group that would allow me to best utilize my skills.”

  “And your mother didn’t feel like she’d gotten the worst of the bargain?”

  “Of course not—genetically, I’m still half hers. But since she did co-raise me, my father had to buy out part of the contract since his family would get the benefit of my training, skills, and connections.”

  Dev blinked, trying to understand. “He bought you?”

  “It’s a perfectly normal transa
ction in the Net.” She blew out a breath. “Everything’s calm and practical and business-like. No fights, no disagreements. All the contingencies are covered in the parenting and fertilization agreements.”

  Dev couldn’t imagine such a cold life, such a cold relationship. “So since you’re considered part of your father’s family, did you have to contribute financially?”

  “Yes. Our family had a central investment fund. I did quite well out of it—we had a good investment strategy.” Stretching out her legs, she tapped her fingers on her knees. “I wonder how my death affected things. Likely very little—my work for the Council raised my family’s ranking in terms of their influence in the Net, but it was a small contribution. Losing me wouldn’t have caused that big a ripple.”

  To hear her talk of herself in such a clinical way infuriated him. “But your life will cause one hell of a big ripple.”

  She gave him a startled look. “I suppose that’s one way of looking at it. Can I ask you . . . ?” A hesitant question.

  “What?”

  “About your childhood?”

  His hands clenched on the steering wheel. “What do you want to know?” It came out sounding like gravel.

  She was quiet for almost a minute. “You don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Not today.” Not ever, if he was being honest.

  “Is there someone else you—no.” She shook her head. “I’m asking for your weaknesses.”

  “Was the question yours?”

  Her eyes were hollow when she glanced at him. “That’s just it. I don’t know.”

  Even as Dev and Katya drove ever deeper into the barren wilderness of Alaska, Sascha sat beside Lucas as he drove them to Cruz.

  “I do know how to drive,” she pointed out, simply to see his reaction.

  He shot her a narrow-eyed glance. “Why are you purposefully jerking my chain?”

  “Because I can.” She smiled. “Seriously, Mr. Alpha Cat, pregnancy doesn’t make me an invalid.”

 

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