by Kat T. Masen
My parents enter through the front door, surprised to see Austin beside me. Of course, Mom is quick to welcome him, as is Dad. When I look closely at Dad’s expression, he appears somewhat amused by Austin showing up. Mom, on the other hand, gives me a probing gaze though keeps her thoughts to herself.
Ava returns, offering to show Austin to our room. I tell them I’ll join them in a few minutes, wanting to stay back with my parents for a moment. The second they turn the corner, I tug on Mom’s arm in a panic.
“What the hell do I do?”
“Millie, don’t panic. You’re all adults.”
“Have you met Will?” I question with a strained voice. “He isn’t exactly a patient man, and my engagement is not exactly something he’s accepted. Now Austin is here. Austin is just as competitive. How am I supposed to be in the same room as an ex-lover and new fiancé?”
Dad is suppressing his laughter, though I have no idea why he finds this amusing. I, for one, don’t. My lips press together while I watch him, crossing my arms in disbelief.
“Why is this so funny?”
“You said you had it all under control, Amelia.”
I throw my hands in the air. “Until this happened!” I turn to face Mom again. “C’mon, Mom, what do I do? You’ve been in this situation. What did you do?”
Mom purses her lips, trying to keep her smile at bay. “You don’t want to know.”
“No, tell me, please?”
“No, honey, it involves your father and his um…let’s say need to satisfy his urges.”
The penny drops, as does my stomach. Why, oh why—did I poke the fucking bear?
“Right, please don’t say anything more about that,” I mumble.
“Look, Millie. The truth is that you’re engaged to be married to Austin. You need to respect that commitment,” she says softly. “Yes, I realize I am a hypocrite for giving you this advice, but if I could turn back time, I would have ended my engagement before anything happened with your father because Julian was owed that respect. As for Will, he is a grown man who will make his own decisions no matter what anyone else says. You just need to make sure your actions and intent are clear, whatever they may be.”
When it comes to discussing Will, Dad’s face lowers to avoid the conflict. His opinion on the matter still stands, but nevertheless, I ask the question of him.
“What do you think, Dad?”
Dad lifts his gaze to meet mine. “I agree with your mother. You’ve committed to one man, and you need to honor that. If you have any doubt as to whether that is what you want for the rest of your life, then you need to be honest with yourself.”
It was the most logical thing Dad has ever said. Usually, his opinion is very one-sided and always to benefit him.
“I have some thinking to do,” I tell them both before walking to the room to find Austin.
Everyone arrives at the marina just in time.
Ava calls everyone’s attention to a list of rules and the itinerary for the day. I half-listen, noticing Will and Gigi are nowhere to be seen.
“Number one rule of the day,” Uncle Rocky yells, “what happens on the yacht stays on the yacht.”
“That’s what you said about Vegas,” Uncle Noah deadpans.
“And our trip to Cabo,” Eric adds with a grimace.
Dad rubs his chin before saying, “And our stay in Amsterdam.”
“Don’t forget the infamous Thailand getaway,” Uncle Julian is quick to mention.
“All right, all right, so I have a big mouth. My wife ain’t complaining, that’s for sure.”
Nikki purses her lips, annoyed at his running mouth. Aunt Adriana pats her shoulder while laughing softly.
“Rocky, a big mouth is great for giving head,” Eric says confidently. “But having a big mouth does nothing for a lady garden.”
“Are we back to using lady garden?” Kate complains, scowling. “It’s so Eric circa years before his addiction to Botox.”
“I’m sorry,” Eric drags, placing his hands on his hips, “I can’t say I keep current with vagina lingo. Ask me what the confused straight guys are calling dick, and I’m your number one man.”
I fall into a fit of laughter, welcoming Eric’s humor before we board the yacht. With blue skies and barely any wind—it’s predicted to be a smooth sail. Beside me, Luna is already taking seasick tablets her mom hands her.
Not long after we leave the marina, I pull Ava aside when Austin is busy with Andy and Nash.
“Where’s Will?”
“He had some important work thing to attend to so stayed back at the house.”
Ava continues to pour the drinks, but not before advising the waiter onboard which drink belongs to who.
“And, um, Gigi? Your so-called bestie?”
“Not feeling well.”
“Not feeling well?” I repeat as my mouth slackens. “What exactly is wrong with her?”
“Migraine, headache, something like that,” Ava says, nonchalant.
My chest begins to cave, followed by a sudden pounding inside my head. “Where is she then?”
“Back at the house.”
“So, you’re telling me that Will and Gigi are back at the house, alone?” I sputter, momentarily beyond words.
Ava places the bottle of Malibu down, scrunching up her face only to relax it seconds later and regain some calm.
“To answer the real question you are asking, Millie. Yes, they are alone, and I don’t know whether they are together or if this was intentional. Does Gigi like Will? Yes, she wants to fuck him, and that comes as no surprise since she’s practically thrown herself onto him in front of everyone since the moment we got here.”
I bite down on my bottom lip, hurt by the truth. What did I expect Will to do? Come out with us so he can watch Austin wrap his arms around me and kiss my lips. Even I knew that would be unfair and difficult to see, but it doesn’t erase the jealousy and hurt of knowing Will and Gigi are all alone.
And the truth is, Will is single and can damn well do whomever he pleases.
“I need a drink.”
“You’ve come to the right person. How strong do you want it?”
“Anything to erase the thought, Ava,” I mumbled beneath my breath.
It started with one drink, then over-eating on the delicious lunch served. Uncle Rocky stripped off to only a pair of leopard print speedos which Eric dared him to wear. Surprisingly, Nikki found it amusing courtesy of the extra-strong drinks Ava poured. When it comes to handling the bar, Ava is notorious for potent servings of liquor.
The rest of the afternoon became a hazy blur. Between Ava’s drinks and the intense sun, I found myself in a drunken stupor. I don’t even remember docking, nor how I got back home.
There was a moment when Austin placed me in bed, and Mom was standing beside him, insisting I had heatstroke because apparently—my skin was all red. Either way, I wanted to be alone and sleep.
Sometime in the late afternoon, I open my eyes to see Austin sitting beside me in bed. I let out an involuntary groan before sitting up, only for the room to spin and my stomach recoil.
“Austin?” I barely mumble, my throat incredibly dry. “What time is it?”
“Almost dinner time.”
“I slept that long?”
He nods, but notably, his stare is fixated directly in front of him, avoiding me.
“Tell me I’m crazy, Millie?”
I rub my eyes in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Tell me I have nothing to worry about. That you love me, and someday, we’ll get married.”
“I said yes to marrying you.” I keep my voice low, wanting to avoid an argument but also because my head is throbbing. How much did I drink? Too much because I feel like absolute trash.
“Months ago,” he deadpans. “But now Will is back in the picture…”
“Will is not back in the picture,” I state, trying to control my frustration. “He is back in Manhattan along with the other millio
ns of people there. And in case you didn’t notice today, he was busy with someone else.”
Austin turns to face me, his stare anything but inviting. “I did, notice. And it’s clear you did too. Why else did you get blind drunk?”
“Because Ava poured? You know, as well as I do, she is notorious for her imbalance ratio of gin to tonic water. Plus, the heat today was ridiculous.”
“That’s what your mom said,” he mumbles, lowering his head.
I place my hand on his. “You have nothing to worry about except for getting changed because it’s our final dinner, and they’re bringing out some expensive cake made just for Rocky.”
He nods, but deep inside, his vulnerability is still eating away at him.
I hop off the bed a little too fast as my head begins to spin. Hanging on my wardrobe is a silk ivory dress Ava insists I wear. According to her, it will look fantastic for the photos she plans to use on her social media account.
“You use the bathroom here,” I suggest, grabbing my dress and shoes. “I’m going to use Ava’s. I’ll meet you back here in twenty minutes.”
“Sure.” He nods quietly. “See you soon.”
I linger at the door, then turn to face him. “Austin, are you okay?”
He releases a breath, rubbing his face in his hands. It wasn’t just us he worried about. There was the pressure of his medical degree looming over his head.
“As long as we are okay,” he tells me softly, “I will be just fine.”
16
AMELIA
Outside on the patio, a large dining table is set up a few feet away from the pool.
Above it, festoon lights hung in a diagonal pattern, creating a warm ambiance while making it perfect for alfresco dining underneath the stars.
The table is decorated in a black and gold theme, put together nicely to mark the special occasion of Uncle Rocky’s birthday. The tablescape elements are dark, but there is still an elegance to it all. Bottles of wine sit inside chillers. Rows of glasses, china, and cutlery—are positioned to accommodate everyone dining. Running down the center is a gold table runner with pillar candles sitting inside lanterns.
“This is gorgeous,” Jessa praises, taking a seat across from me. She looks absolutely stunning tonight in a black cocktail dress which is perfectly tailored to her body. Her hair is out; long honey brown curls cascading down her open back. Her beautiful features are a mix between her dad and mom, but I see more Uncle Noah in her. “Ava is the queen of hosting.”
“She gets it from Mom,” I say, grinning while Mom acknowledges the compliment a few seats down.
Everyone made an effort to dress up tonight. All the men look dapper in their suits, and the women are just as beautiful in the dresses they’re wearing. Of course, Aunt Adriana being a designer is flawless in the gown she has on.
Austin takes a seat beside me, opening the napkin and placing it on my lap like the perfect gentleman he is. I place my hand on his arm with a smile until my attention is diverted to an annoying giggle. Shifting my glance, Gigi is standing across the table wearing a low-cut yellow dress with a crisscross pattern across her chest, barely covering her perky breasts. The dress itself catches the attention of all the men, including Austin. For someone with a supposed migraine, she looks awfully chirpy while taking a seat across from me. Great, why do I have to look at her all night?
Ava comes to the rescue, suggesting she move a few spots down. Thank fuck. The last thing I want is to have to entertain a liar dressed like a god damn whore.
I need to control myself.
Deep breaths.
This is very unladylike and does nothing to build the resilience I will need to become a lawyer one day. All I need to do is keep my opinions to myself and expressions to a bare minimum.
Andy takes a seat across from me. At least he is fun and will talk me off the ledge if needed. I bow my head, ignoring my pulsating head from today’s misfortunate drinking, wishing I took some Advil when I woke up. I was too busy trying to reassure Austin, forgetting to take care of myself, which will no doubt escalate to something bigger very soon.
As I try my best to control the throb, my eyes glance toward Will, who is standing beside where Gigi sits. He is wearing a dark blue suit, though no tie with a slightly exposed chest beneath the white shirt he wears. I plead with myself to turn away, ignoring how devastatingly handsome he looks.
Yet my eyes are a moth drawn to the flame. The more I admire how sexy he looks, the more my body craves to touch him.
I can almost smell his scent from across the table; masculine, alluring—igniting all my senses. Biting down on my lip, I lower my gaze and take a deep breath, reminding myself of Austin beside me.
Like an annoying child, Gigi begs Will to sit next to her, which he does, giving a quick glance my way only to turn in the opposite direction moments later.
When everyone is seated, the waiters serve the starters as everyone speaks amongst themselves. A few dad jokes are thrown around, and Eric shifts the conversation to something more controversial—his love-hate relationship with bangs. It starts a debate amongst the women of the group, but I choose to keep quiet, not in the mood to converse. My eyes keep unwillingly moving to Will. He appears unaffected by my sitting with Austin, busy whispering something into Gigi’s ear, which makes her laugh.
I bury my jealousy by distracting myself with others, but its lingering presence is unavoidable. Did he sleep with her today? And how many times did they have sex? These questions are like poison running through my veins, and I beg of myself to stop the vicious cycle I’m caught in.
The waiters serve the mains, and when the chicken is placed in front of me, I stab my fork into it—ignoring the burning sensation consuming me. My stomach begins to harden, forcing me to drink the wine in front of me, which is the last thing in the world I want after today. It doesn’t seem to work, making my stomach even more unsettled.
There is a tap of a fork against a glass as Eric insists Uncle Rocky entertain us with a speech. Silence falls over the table as Uncle Rocky stands up with an overbearing grin on his face. “Where do I begin?”
“How about with zipping your fly up?” Nash yells across the table.
Nikki shakes her head in disappointment as everyone laughs. Given that Uncle Rocky does not look embarrassed at all, I take the wink he gives his wife as the reason they were last to dinner. Will flinches across the table while leaning back into his chair, obviously coming to the same realization.
“Firstly, I have to thank Ava and her hot besties for making this happen.”
Ava raises her glass with pride. “You’re welcome, Uncle Rocky!”
Uncle Rocky then raises his glass, staring directly at Will.
“To my son, Will,” he begins, pausing momentarily to then continue, “when I knocked up your Mom in freshman year of college, I never expected to have a son of your intelligence. You make me proud, and I have no doubt that you will fucking slay the business world after today. Sorry, Lex.”
Dad keeps his expression flat, leaning back into his chair with his arm around Mom. He has barely acknowledged Will, and to my knowledge—they have not spoken since being here.
“I am honored to be your father, Will.” He raises his glass again in which Will follows the sentiment, keeping his smile fixed. “And here’s to hoping you give me some grandbabies soon. You up for the challenge, Gigi?”
Uncle Rocky roars with laughter as everyone follows, including Gigi who looks pleased with the attention she is receiving.
Well, everyone except me.
I force my lips to curve upward, aware of Austin’s eyes falling upon me. Jessa glances at me from across the table, offering a sympathetic smile.
“And to my wife,” Uncle Rocky continues. “No words, babe. Life is not worth living unless you’re by my side.”
Nikki grins back at him as he leans in and kisses her softly. Despite Uncle Rocky’s boisterous personality, the two of them have a love like no other. They’ve grown
together from such a young age, yet I can’t help but wonder if I would feel equally in love with Austin after years of marriage. He is my best friend; he knows me so well. Surely, friendship must account for something in a marriage.
But the moment my thoughts begin to think about the future, I am drawn back to Will. There is no denying my feelings toward him haven’t disappeared, but I also respect and love Austin. How is it possible to feel the way I feel about two men?
It’s wrong of me even to think these thoughts, let alone compare. Yet how do I ignore how erratically my heart beats when my eyes feast upon the man who once consumed me whole. The pull, unexplainable with its force—wreaks havoc on my soul. It begs to be touched again, to be ignited by the person who started the flame. But all these feelings, the emotions, all of them are forbidden when they should be directed to the man sitting beside me.
“And to everyone else here tonight,” Uncle Rocky mentions with a final toast, “you are my family. Thank you for celebrating my life with me.”
There is applause from everyone at the table until Uncle Rocky follows with, “So what time are strippers getting here?”
More laughter continues as the bottles of wine empty and the cake comes out with only one candle since Uncle Rocky is in denial about his age. We sing a round of Happy Birthday, followed by the waiters cutting the cake and serving it to each guest.
“How’s med school?” Jessa asks Austin, but not before smacking Andy’s hand while he attempts to steal her cake. I noticed this weekend that the two of them were very flirty. Since they aren’t related, being my cousins on either side, it wouldn’t be taboo if they dated.
Note to self…discuss this later with Ava.
“Hard, but it’s great. Hopefully, it will settle down when we get married soon.”
My eyes blink slowly while trying to grasp what Austin just said. We hadn’t actually discussed the getting married part, so when did it suddenly become soon?
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were getting married soon?” Jessa questions with a flat gaze. “Well, who doesn’t love a wedding?”
